Hello,
My name is Lou Redman and I thank you for being here and I'll be honest,
I'm a little nervous to share what I'm about to share today.
It kind of highlights a time in my life where I was not in integrity.
Once in a men's group I was asked this question,
Where in my life am I out of integrity?
Of course,
Being the evolved meditator that I am,
I said nowhere.
I wish I were kidding.
While I don't pretend to be enlightened,
I did fool myself into thinking that there was no place I was out of integrity.
We can't see our shadows.
That's what makes them so.
It's impossible to see where we fall short and how our actions affect others.
The universe has humbled me a few times this year,
First with my knee injury.
I got the sign to slow down but I forgot the lesson once I got a semblance of normal back.
I shared to my audience an invitation to a men's group and coaching circle.
This was going to be a new offering for me.
I took a men's facilitator training over the summer so I wanted to create something that was from what I learned.
Actually I had a ton on my plate so to save me the hassle,
I modeled it after my coach.
I'll save the full story but essentially I was lazy and I took his format and a lot of his copy.
I didn't talk to him about this before.
I thought he wouldn't mind.
When he saw the offering,
He reached out to talk.
He explained how he was hurt seeing me use much of his copy and format.
When I got this message and got on the call,
It crushed me.
What is integrity?
Integrity is having strong alignment and accountability for our words and actions,
Being who we say we are,
Doing what we say we'll do,
And embodying the ideal version of ourselves.
Do I want to be the kind of person who copies and pastes what someone else did without asking and especially knowing that it caused harm?
It pained me to take this moral inventory.
It was hard to tell people who signed up that I wasn't running the group.
But Lou,
You might ask,
Aren't you the guy who tells us it's better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission?
I did say that in one of my courses.
However,
One of my favorite Buddhist teachings explains how a teacher can give two people contradicting advice.
The teacher says,
If I see that there's a pothole on the left,
I tell them to walk right.
If I see there's a pothole on the right,
I tell them to walk left.
While I'm all about helping people give themselves permission,
I've entered a phase in my career where I need to see the other side of that coin.
This situation has me reflecting on where else my actions have unintentionally caused harm.
It's all been incredibly humbling.
I have no doubt I will do one of these groups in the future,
But it's time to keep doing my inner work for now.
We can all use a good humbling.
It's healthy for us.
I'm letting this lead as my intention for the remainder of the year.
And if I'm smart,
I'll make it the remainder of my life.
I thank you for just simply witnessing me in my lack of integrity and know that I am committed to doing better and I so love to support you in coming into your integrity and whatever that means.
I have a meditation that's titled Living with Integrity.
I talk a little bit more about the story and we do a practice that hopefully can integrate the positive,
The negative,
The light in the dark,
The yin and the yang that is within all of us.
It's been such a huge part of my path recently.
And it's all continuing the beauty of the unfolding together.
So thank you for listening.
I appreciate any comments.
I appreciate you and for getting a chance to share on here.
If you want to stay connected,
You can join my circle.
Just search Lou's Circle and I would always love to welcome any contact,
Any way you want to reach out.
I'm sending you continued guidance and support and I look forward to connecting with you soon.
Thank you for listening.
