Claiming Your Desires

Is it "spiritual" to want things? This talk and meditation will help you explore this question and bring more awareness into what is for your highest good. You'll learn how to let go of negative feelings around desire, and claim what you truly want. This is a recording from Lou's Insight Timer Live on the topic.

Transcript

Getting into today's topic and this theme,

Such an interesting,

I'm excited to explore this theme a little bit and hopefully get a chance if you can hang around and ask some questions around it because that'll be nice as well.

But this idea in spirituality of desires and wanting things and we can use that in like literal material things like I want that house or that car or we can think of it more desire as in my purpose and my dreams and so we'll kind of play around there a little bit.

But there's this idea or there's this understanding in spirituality.

I'm just going to note kind of two ends of this spectrum.

The first end is more in the quote unquote,

I'm going to quote unquote spiritual because we can talk about that in a little bit.

But the more spiritual end and this can be also in a more Buddhist context of that literally the Buddha was saying that the heart of our suffering is desire.

The fact that we want something and aren't content with what we have if we just lessen the desires then we up the contentment.

And that equation is true.

That equation is great and there's a deep truth to that.

The extreme of that can be the aesthetic that just gives up all worldly possessions and goes that path and this is one end of the spectrum.

Other end of the spectrum is this consumerism advertising that our happiness is on the things that we get and that we're not enough if we don't get that thing.

And this is coming from a place of lack.

This is coming from a place of insecurity.

And I think if you're on here you probably already noticed that that's not going to lead to our greatest joys and our greatest happiness is living in that purely consumeristic and getting things in order to fill some sort of void.

And so there's the spectrum and then this is where I want to talk about today is where I want to play and kind of offer as a way to just think about this a little bit is to really appreciate the things that we have and to allow ourselves to desire and bring in the things that feeling like true for us,

Feeling true for us without judging ourselves for wanting something,

Without judging ourselves for having a desire because we don't think it's spiritual in some way.

And as often most of my practices are inspired by things that I'm grappling with or dealing with and I've been having this desire to and this is less I guess material but having a desire to have a certain group of friends and like I want to bring people into my life that are really inspiring and empowering and lift me up and help me to be a better version of myself.

And there's a part of me that was judging myself for that like,

Lou,

You're this meditation teacher and you're supposed to be welcoming and loving of all people.

And so like why are you creating rules on who can be your friend or not?

And obviously there's an understanding of obviously we don't want to let everyone there's toxic or negative people into our life.

I think we learned that at some point in our journey.

But I realized this judgment and I've been working on just letting it go and say,

Hey,

If this is something I desire,

How can I just open up to allow that in?

Because the key here that I want you to think about when we think of wanting things or desire for things is does it make me closed or open?

And so for example,

If you have a yearning for let's go material on this one,

You have a yearning for this brand new car,

Whatever your thing is,

BMW,

Porsche,

Mazda Miata,

I don't know,

It doesn't matter.

You have this yearning for this thing.

And then you're like,

Oh,

You know what,

I know it's not going to make me happy.

I know it's not going to fulfill me.

And it's probably more spiritual to just be like,

Okay,

I don't want that thing.

In that moment,

Are you more open or are you more closed?

You're kind of closed,

Right?

There's kind of like a constriction.

There's like a not allowing yourself.

And the core of our spiritual journey is how do I stay open?

How do I let myself be open to the experience?

Because what matters here is not the thing.

We know the thing's not going to fulfill us.

We know the thing's not going to make us happy.

What matters here is our state of being.

And if our state of being is open because we allow that to be an option in our life,

Then that's the key.

Michael Singer,

One of my favorite quotes,

My favorite quote by him,

My favorite reminder,

One of my favorite reminders,

I try to remind myself all the time is that the highest state you have ever felt is simply a result of how open you were.

The highest state we've ever felt is a result of how open we were.

The thing might have made it open,

But it's always been inside.

It's always been this internal experience that it creates our own happiness.

And so if we can allow,

If we have something that we want,

And by letting that in,

It opens us,

Then that is the path.

And we do it in a way that is aligned with our values.

And we do it in a way that feels true for us,

Right?

Not just wanting things for the heck of,

You know,

Now I'm allowed to,

But like it reminds me of the Mary Oliver quote,

You simply,

Or you only,

You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

Now that's often used in a romantic context,

Which I totally get that.

I think it's great there.

However,

We can kind of use that here,

Right?

There's this thing inside of us that just wants something or yearns for something,

Desires something.

And we can,

Instead of pushing ourselves down,

Making ourselves feel bad,

Making ourselves,

Judge ourselves for it,

We just let that open.

You only have to let our energy out.

And this is heading to the core of when you think of like minimalism and the Marie Kondo tidying up things,

Even though we're letting things go,

It's all about understanding the question that Marie Kondo would ask is does this thing spark joy?

Does it spark joy?

Another way of saying,

Does this increase,

Doesn't open your state of being?

And so if you have things that do that,

Then that's great because the happiness again is never going to come from that thing.

It's never about getting there.

It's also another opportunity for us to,

Who do we have to become in order to bring that into our lives?

And so it again,

It brings us back to our own self growth and brings us back to how do I stay open to all things,

Even if you don't get the thing.

Like even if you,

It's more of just letting go of the judgment.

Even if you want something and say,

I can have that,

I'm not going to get it,

But I know I'm not letting myself not have it.

And that's a big difference there.

Saying I can have that,

I'm open to that.

I can,

I'm at the consciousness of that and I'm not going to.

It's different energy than saying,

No,

I'm not allowed to.

That's not the spiritual thing to do it.

So because what happens if we keep judging is we're going to push that desire.

We're going to push that down into our stuff.

And then when we see it out into the world and we see someone else who's let themselves have that thing or some other thing,

We're going to judge that person.

We're going to be jealous of that person.

We might be envious of that person.

And so it rids these negative energies from us as we clear.

And so this is what I mean when I say,

Is it spiritual?

Um,

Yeah,

It could be.

We live in a material world and if we can just allow ourselves,

We can,

Everything is a place for our growth,

Right?

Everything can be used to open or to close.

And like I said,

Our journey is about staying open.

So today we'll practice again,

Feeling the fullness of here,

Feeling the appreciation of what we have and then expanding out towards that thing.

We'll let go of some judgments that we have maybe towards other people will use kind of that jealousy,

Envy practice as it's always a good thing to like clear up some of that energy that we might have,

Release the judgments to ourselves and then open ourselves up to what it is that we really want to bring in to our lives.

So all right,

Let's,

Uh,

Let's shift from this outer kind of,

You know,

Listen to Lou,

What he's saying to if it feels comfortable for you closing your eyes and coming into more of an inner gaze,

Letting your body fall in its natural position.

It's a meditative position.

Whether you're sitting on a chair or a cushion,

Finding a space.

If you've been here before,

You practice with me before,

You kind of get a sense of the little cues that help you to relax,

Help you to soften and also help you to stay alert.

And so it's this balance in our meditation posture of doing things like softening,

Relaxing the shoulders,

Relaxing our jaw,

Softening the muscles in the face,

The belly,

But not slouching down and stay keeping an alertness as we lift,

Gentle lift through our upper chest.

Slightly lengthening through the back of the neck,

Feeling the sensation of your body as it roots down,

Connecting to the cushion,

The chair,

Feeling both the rootedness and the wakefulness.

And as we ground with this intention to stay open,

So that means welcoming anything that's here.

For those of you that were at a four or five or six,

Maybe welcoming whatever discontentment or unease or challenge that this day is bringing,

Whether you can name it or maybe it's just waking up one day and you just feel a little off.

The human mood and emotions have that fluctuation.

And so welcoming it.

And if there's joy and excitement and feeling good,

Welcoming that as well.

Judging,

Not pushing,

Not closing,

Just feeling open and receptive to both the physical sensations that are present,

As well as any emotions and even the thoughts as they'd like to come.

That's where a lot of our judgment comes from.

Oh,

I'm not supposed to be thinking,

I'm supposed to be meditating.

Welcome those thoughts.

Welcome here too.

All of you is welcome.

And to allow ourselves to continue with this intention of allowing and embracing our desires.

We always start with appreciation for right now.

It's not either grateful for or I want something.

It can be both.

You can be grateful and desire to expand.

So before we get into a little gratitude practice,

I'd like you to connect with the light of your being.

So imagining whatever that phrase brings to mind for you.

Maybe you feel this light inside of your body,

Imagining a color,

Feeling its resonance,

Noticing it wherever you imagine the center of your being is,

This light at the core of your being.

This energy is always wanting to expand and open up.

It's trying to grow you so that you can bring in all the beautiful things.

Bring in all of the energy that you want to have in your life.

Just sense the beauty of this light of being.

Feeling where it is.

Just sensing its intention.

It wants to open,

Wants to keep you open.

With me,

Let's take a gentle breath in and breath out.

So we're going to move through a little gratitude practice just to really help us find the fullness of what we have.

The fullness of bringing some gratitude to something that your body allows you to do.

A walk,

To eat,

To sleep,

To touch,

To feel.

Everything simple and often maybe we overlook.

You can feel that gratitude in your heart.

As you do,

Also feel that light of well-being,

The light of your being,

Feeling it get a little brighter.

It's just growing,

Maybe just a little bit.

Just letting that gratitude wave through your body.

And then,

Letting the focus on the body go.

Just shifting to gratitude for someone in your life.

Loved one,

A friend,

An associate,

Colleague,

Client,

Anyone.

And then you bring gratitude,

You bring this person to mind,

Again,

Feeling that light of your being get a little brighter,

Grow a little bigger,

Still within your body,

Maybe you can kind of feel it moving into different parts.

Shifting to letting that go,

Bringing one more focus of gratitude.

And for something in your life,

Maybe it's material,

Something you have,

A car,

Maybe it's your job,

Maybe it's your coffee maker,

If you enjoy your morning cup.

Just feel the sense of thankfulness.

And again,

Feel that light of your being grow a little brighter,

Expand in your body.

As you continue with this gratitude,

Imagine that that light,

Almost like your whole body,

Is filled.

It's not really out of it,

Where it's encompassing it yet,

It's just like filling every crevice of your body.

It's almost like you look like a body of light.

And so doing this is symbolic of the fullness of here and now.

That we always want to keep this appreciation.

Before we bring in more,

We want to remember,

Hey,

I'm full right now.

And so to root these in,

Letting go of that last gratitude focus and just repeating some words to allow ourselves to really connect here.

You're welcome to silently repeat this to yourself or you're welcome to just listen if you like.

I embrace what is here.

I am grateful for what I have.

I appreciate the fullness of now.

I embrace what is here.

I am grateful for what I have.

I appreciate the fullness of now.

I'm healing that light shine even brighter.

As we know in our essence that all we need is within.

And then taking a conscious full breath in and a breath out.

And so keeping this light and keeping this fullness,

We're now going to work to release any of the judgments that we have around desire.

We're first going to focus on any way that we might judge or envy or jealous of someone else.

Because often there's something in us that either wants that thing or thinks that they can't have it.

And so this practice can be challenging.

This is a new practice for you.

So I just want to note that and normalize that if you find it.

And it can also be very transformational.

And so I'd like you to bring to mind one person whom you are either envious of,

Jealous of,

Or judgemental of.

Just noting maybe the first one comes to mind,

Someone whom you follow on social media or someone who can bring up some stuff that can trigger you in ways.

And just bringing them to mind,

Not getting into any stories,

Just sensing them in the awareness.

And starting to notice if your body's having any sort of reaction,

If there's a tension,

A tightness.

This might be true and this might not be,

But asking,

Is there something that this person has that you judged yourself for wanting?

Maybe it's their style,

Their confidence,

Their lifestyle.

And again,

That might not land.

There might be some other things coming up.

And so just welcoming that too.

Whatever it might be,

Whatever your relationship to this person is,

We're going to do the practice to release that energy that we're holding around it.

And so imagining them in your awareness and seeing if you can repeat these words almost like you're sending it to them.

May you receive all you desire.

May your successes grow.

May your life flourish.

May you feel love and joy in all your days.

I release my negative energy towards you.

And I just want to note here,

You might not feel these things right now.

This is a practice.

And so just even just saying it is a step.

Going through that one more time.

May you receive all you desire.

May your successes grow.

May your life flourish.

May you feel love and joy in all your days.

I release my negative energy towards you.

Remember,

That's our energy that we're holding in.

And so as you do that,

Imagine that tension from inside that you might have starting to release.

Feel that light of your being grow.

Getting your heart open a little bit wider.

And then just a gentle breath in and breath out.

Thanking that person for its teaching.

Letting go of them in your awareness.

And then thinking about something that you like to bring into your life.

What is a desire that you have?

Maybe something that you haven't really allowed yourself to want.

Maybe it is something material.

A car.

A certain amount of money.

A dream.

A yearning.

It could be something that's brought up resistance you judge yourself for.

It could just be any desire that you've been working on moving towards.

Imagine that whatever it is,

Almost like the energy of it was in front of you.

And sharing with these words to yourself,

Some of them may land,

Some of them may not.

I release any self judgment.

I allow myself to open to what I want.

I embrace my heart's desire.

I release self judgment.

I allow myself to open to what I want.

I embrace my heart's desire.

Feeling that light of your being grow brighter as it expands into this.

Maybe it starts moving more away from your body as you allow more energy into your life.

Taking that full breath in and then breath out.

And so one last part here now that we've let go of the resistances if they were present.

I'd like you to reconnect with the fullness and appreciation of now that we started with.

Remembering that it's this energy that will always take you through your days.

And then I'd like you to imagine what the desire you have would look like fully manifested.

And so envision yourself doing that thing,

Having that thing,

Seeing yourself in that car or job.

And as you visualize this,

Get really particular.

Can you see what time of day it is?

What's the texture of that thing?

What else is happening?

What's the number that you imagine?

Getting as detailed as possible.

And then really allowing yourself to enjoy it.

Celebrating that you've allowed this into your life.

You claim this to be yours.

Feeling your light expand outwards as you do this.

Enjoying savoring colors,

The sounds,

And that feeling that it gives you.

And now holding this vision while asking yourself the question who do I have to become to bring this into my life?

Is it more gentle,

More aware,

More creative?

And feel the energy of who you are becoming.

That's really what matters here.

Feeling that light grow even brighter and wider.

Remember our Michael Singer quote,

Ever experienced is simply a result of how open you are.

And so feel that light open your body,

Open your heart as you have allowed yourself to stay open without judgment.

Allowed yourself to bring this into your awareness.

Sensing once again,

Finally that vision.

Feeling yourself becoming the version of you that would bring this in.

And then repeating one last final thing to allow ourselves to release anything that we might have to attaching to this.

So repeating to yourself,

I release attachment to any outcome.

I open myself to the greatest vision I have or something even better.

I release my attachment to any outcome.

I open myself to the greatest vision I have or something even better.

And taking one last full breath in,

Full breath out.

Coming back into letting go of the vision,

Coming back into your body.

Maybe keeping this light with you throughout your day,

Keeping the fullness of here and now with you.

And remembering that that thing is never going to give us the happiness and the joy,

But it'll allow us to open to become more of ourselves.

And that's what it's about.

Who we become in the process,

Not what we get.

And you're always welcome to stay in your practice as long as you'd like,

But if you'd like to come back and chat with us a bit,

Whenever you're ready,

You can go ahead and open your eyes and come back into this space.

Reviews

Beautiful

Very enjoyable. I’m enjoying your unique meditation style. Thank you.

Unbelievable and just what I needed. Until I was deep in the meditation, I didn't realize that I still had feelings toward another of a negative vibration. Holding those has been keeping me back from my desires. I was able to let go of so much with good wishes toward another. This was so rewarding and needed, especially during the current situation in the Ukraine. Guilt about wanting something for myself when others are suffering was not allowing me to be open for whatever may be coming in my life, as well. This was beautiful and very beneficial. Thank you, Lou. ♥️

Thanks, this was very helpful

Thank you! I really enjoyed this stress/anxiety releasing, empowering meditation.

thank you 🙏

Thank you thank you amazing as always....thank you for allowing me to feel that what I desire my dream and make me aware that I can be open about it....Namaste🙏

Love this! Thanks Lou

Excellent as usual Lou! 👍🙏

Wise perspective
Thank you

So many things to think about here; perfect timing for me. I’m happy you’re posting these live sessions. Thanks Lou 🙏🏻🌺