Caring For Difficult Feelings

A warm and comforting meditation to help you navigate challenging feelings and emotions. Lou will ground you towards a deep presence & spacious awareness. In doing so, you'll skillfully learn how to be with different feeling sensations. With kindness and compassion, you'll learn how to care for yourself, as well as others who may be experiencing difficulties. In the first few minutes, Lou shares the inspiration for the practice.

Transcript

Hello,

Welcome.

My name is Lou Redman and I thank you so much for being here.

Before we get into today's practice,

I want to share how this practice came to be.

I'll first start with sharing a difficulty that I've been working with for the past few years.

That is a heaviness and a weight around my chest area and my heart.

Sometimes I wake up and I just feel this constriction or I feel like there's a blockage there.

And this is something that I've worked with,

Again,

On and off for a few years.

I remember being on meditation retreats and just working with this energy,

Seeing it move.

And then I'm just really fascinated but also confused that some days it being there,

Some days I feel clear.

And sometimes when it's really constrictive,

It's like I just want something to open it.

It almost is like if I can burst the bubble and there's this huge like,

Aha,

Opening come through.

At least that's what I imagine in my head.

When I'm in it,

Sometimes I can get a little bit of really needing or trying to figure out why.

Why is this here?

Why am I feeling this?

And with that why,

Then I try and figure out how can I not feel this?

What can I do to not feel this?

And I was sharing this in a men's group that I'm a part of the other day and trying to think about,

Well,

What does it mean?

Does it mean I should move from where I'm at?

Maybe that'll make it feel better.

I should do this thing to make it feel better.

And one of the guys just asked me and said,

Lou,

What if it just is?

What if there is no story behind it?

And once he said that,

It was a reminder for me that often when we have some sort of emotional disturbance,

Physical disturbance,

Physical pain,

Emotional pain,

Our mind jumps to,

I need to fix this.

I need to find the answer why and I need to make it go away.

And this,

Yes,

Can be very useful at times.

And we're not saying we shouldn't do this.

But often in an experience like this,

Sometimes what our emotions are just asking us to do is to be with it.

Instead of thinking that we need to change our outer circumstances,

Which is just the rabbit hole and the cycle that we get into of,

Hey,

If I move,

Then I'll be happier.

If I get this job,

Then I'll be happier.

And we forget that in our meditation practice,

What we're really being asked is to go inwards and to see,

Well,

How can I shift my experience of this feeling?

How can I transform the way that I relate to it?

And so this is really a foundation of a lot of mindfulness practice.

And so this practice is going to be around offering ourselves that spaciousness.

We're going to do a body sensation practice to ground ourselves and then move into maybe some emotional disturbances either with others and really get into something working with ourselves.

And so with that,

Go ahead and allow yourself to start to come to a comfortable seat.

Just notice if there's any movements that need to be taken,

Go ahead and you can take them.

And let your body ground into your space,

Ground into your chair or your cushion,

Letting the weight of the body sink down,

Relaxing your shoulders,

Still keeping this gentle alertness through your upper body.

Invite a wave of softness from the crown of your head down to your forehead and just keep moving that softness through your whole body.

And then begin to invite in a few rounds of breath.

And this practice is going to be a really spacious meditation.

And so right away allowing your breath to create space with each inhale.

And even though it's contracting on the exhale,

Still live in that sense of spaciousness to help maybe you note the breath coming in and coming out.

And then to create a little bit more space,

Going to shift the awareness of your breath and maybe coming in just one place and two,

Like you imagine that your whole body is breathing in.

So it's as if every pore of your body was taking oxygen in.

Every pore of your body was breathing out.

Notice if that shifts anything,

Allow that full body breathing to create even more space.

And then really find wherever the center of your being is,

And wherever you can feel that maybe behind your chest,

Maybe it's your heart,

Maybe it's your torso.

And I'd like to offer this idea today of allowing ourselves to be saturated in presence.

What does that bring up to be soaking in presence?

And see if you can feel that presence start at the core of your being.

And then allow it to start to expand through the spaciousness you made in your body,

In your mind.

And then maybe it starts to permeate outside of your body and through your spirit and beyond,

Permeating that presence outwards.

And it's this presence that we are going to offer throughout our whole practice today.

We're going to offer it to our body.

We're going to offer it to our emotions.

We're going to offer it to others.

So see if you can stay connected to this.

And then together we'll take a fuller breath in and a breath out.

And we're going to use this practice of being present with sensations first in our body.

And being present means not changing because our wantingness is to have a difficult sensation and fix it,

Or to have a pleasant sensation and make it better.

I know I've gotten myself into a lot of trouble with that one.

And then often we just don't notice the time in between,

The neutral sensations.

And so we're going to treat all of them the same and offering them our presence.

And so first just using our body to do this,

I'd like you to scan your body and find a part that feels just a little bit unpleasant.

It could be a tension.

It could be an ache.

It could be something chronic from an injury that you've had.

It could be a stuffiness.

And see if you can find wherever that place is in your body.

And notice if you want to change it.

Notice if you wish it wasn't there.

Instead of needing to do any of that,

What we're going to do is just simply offer it your presence.

Just breathe and be with it.

And notice as you're just breathing,

Being with it,

Just by offering it presence,

If anything starts to change.

It might,

It might not.

And then let it go.

And notice if you want to change it.

And then letting that go.

And moving to find a part of your body that feels pleasant,

Feels good.

It might be the clearness you feel in your neck or in your throat.

It could be an ease you feel sitting in meditation.

It could be noticing a place where in your body that you once felt an ache and now just feels good.

This can be a little tougher to find,

But see if you can find some place in your body that feels good.

And just as we did with what was uncomfortable,

We're just going to simply offer it our presence.

Not needing to change,

Not needing to make it feel better.

Just breathing and being.

And then letting that go.

And moving to what is often the toughest to note,

And that is a part of your body that feels neutral.

Some part that you might just not give much awareness to,

Bottom of your feet,

Side of your elbow.

What part of your body do you not pay much attention to?

Bring your awareness there and again,

Still connected to that permeating radiating presence within.

And be,

Breathe,

And offer that presence to this part of your body.

And then letting that go.

And together we're going to take a full breath in and full breath out.

And so we're going to continue using that concept of just offering what we're going through presence.

Offering a care.

And so I now like you to bring to mind a moment in your life where you were there for someone who needed it.

And if you're a parent,

I'm sure you can think of millions of moments that you're there for your kids who need you.

Maybe you think of a moment when someone confided in you,

Told you something challenging and you were just,

You were there for them.

You were showing up for someone else in a challenging or difficult time.

Maybe they were paying,

Maybe you were taking care of someone that was sick.

And so go into what that experience was like for you.

And see if you can feel that sense of caring that you had and that you have just in your nature.

And as you're holding that person in mind,

Regardless if you had to give advice back then or if you tried to fix it back then,

Kind of looking back at it from these eyes and see if you can in that experience offering that presence that we just worked on.

Because sometimes that's all others need from us,

Not our advice,

But just to hold space and to be present.

And so stay here holding them in your awareness,

Permeating that presence towards them.

And can you feel that just that offers nourishment?

And now we're going to move from permeating presence to an outward compassion,

Even if they may not be going through this anymore.

And so you're welcome to repeat this silently to them.

Maybe you say it out loud if you'd like.

I care for you.

I send you love.

I offer comfort.

I wish you healing.

I care for you.

I send you love.

I offer comfort.

I wish you healing.

Maybe repeating just one or a few of those that feels true for you.

And then letting that go and bringing to mind someone whom you know now who might be feeling something challenging or going through something difficult.

Maybe you're just seeing someone close to you or maybe you don't even know specifically.

Maybe you just get a sense of someone else that doesn't seem right or seems a little off.

Or someone you just want to hold with care and good intention.

Maybe someone you know who's struggled with an addiction.

Maybe you're just getting into your awareness.

Even if you may not know what they're going through.

But as the saying goes,

Everyone is fighting a battle that we know nothing about.

And so holding space for this person,

Whatever that battle might be.

I want to give you energy and the spirit of presence permeating from your center.

I'm giving you both as you just breathe and be with this person in this difficulty.

And then moving into that outward compassion saying silently,

Wishing them.

I care for you.

I send you love.

I offer comfort.

I wish you healing.

I care for you.

I send you love.

I offer comfort.

I wish you healing.

Together let's take a full breath in.

And a full breath out.

And move into ourselves.

And so bringing to mind something that might be challenging you right now.

Maybe an emotional disturbance or a physical ailment.

And first see if you can find a place in the body that it manifests.

And just as we were doing before,

Whether you can feel it in your body or not,

Just breathing and being with yourself with it.

Offering this emotion or this pain,

That presence that is permeating from your core.

Breathing and being.

Noticing if that changes anything.

It might,

It might not.

And then bringing that care into yourself.

Maybe you hold yourself with one hand or both hands over your heart.

Maybe you just hold yourself in your mind's eye.

And say to yourself,

I care for me.

I send myself love.

I offer myself comfort.

I wish myself healing.

I care for me.

I send myself love.

I offer myself comfort.

I wish myself healing.

And then if it's okay for you,

Let's switch these to I am.

I am cared for.

I am loved.

I am comforted.

I am healed.

And then repeating one or a few that feels true.

And then letting that go and just for a few more moments sitting and finding that place of permeating presence from within.

Allowing yourself to be saturated and enjoy presence for another moment.

And then when you're ready,

Start to invite some movement back into your body.

And when you feel complete,

You can open your eyes and come back.

Being with what is happening in our life is such a foundational practice.

And I hope that you found something in there for you that you can use.

Maybe something you're going through now,

Maybe something you can help someone with or just to keep in the back pocket for the future.

So as always,

I am wishing you nothing but love and strength and peace.

And I look forward to practicing with you again soon.

Namaste.

Reviews

Thank you Lou! 🙏 That was amazing and much needed. 💚

Thank you ❤️

Wonderful practice

This is a beautiful meditation. So many times I forget the point of power is in the present. This enabled me to use NOW to connect my physical and spiritual beings, as well as connect with those I love and care about, for love, comfort, caring and healing on so many levels! I felt in awe as if I were swept into a vortex of all time existing at once. Very powerful and just what I needed. Thank you, Lou!

Absolutely wonderful

very powerful and comforting much gratitude Lou 🙏🤍

This is alway good for the first exlerience and to revisit as well

Thank you. This meditation has been extremely helpful in allowing me to sit with intense feelings of anxiety. Very grateful

Just perfect and you have so much love and gentle acceptance in your voice.

Aaaah Lou how synchronous to find exactly this meditation when looking for something for soothing the pressure in my chest. Relatable! Much love, thank you once again :)

Lou, so nice to be back on one of your always heartwarming and beautiful meditations! It was quite a powerful experience that brought me pure hope. I really needed to hear those affirmations. Thank you for guiding us through deep lessons like this one. Love, strength and peace back to you. Metta and namaste, Igo 🧘‍♂️❤

Thank you for your lovely meditation.
Blessings with love

Thank you Lou I enjoy your practices. Namaste 🙏🙏

Wonderful spacious and loving! Thank you!

This was one of the most consistently intense and physically engaging sessions I ever experienced (despite having lied on my back during this practice)!

I've missed you Lou.....a wonderful reminder of how truly amazing you are at what you do🙋‍♀️👏🙏❤☘

Very lovely, comforting and warming! Thanks for sharing a piece of yourself too.

So important to get back to basics with how I’m feeling. Thanks for the love 🙏🏻🌺

thanks Lou,I needed to hear this today 🙂

Thank you so much for this. So helpful in this tumultuous time. Wishing you peace and good health ❤️