Be Gentle

A comforting and reassuring practice to help you work through difficult emotions. Lou will share insight into his own difficulties and then guide you along a meditation to help you develop ease & self-compassion. The intention is that you will build resilience and be able to face life's challenges with greater awareness.

Transcript

Hello and welcome.

My name is Lu and I thank you for being here.

Many times we come to our meditation practice because we are moving through some emotions or it helps us to deal with the fluctuation of emotions that we go through as human beings.

Recently I got to experience one of the more difficult emotions on at least my spectrum so far.

That is a feeling that I get sometimes after,

Normally happens when I get back from a trip.

It's the day after and I'm trying to get back into the swing of things.

For some reason that stirs this,

I call it like a day of depression where just something really just feels off.

I was in my meditation practice on this morning and I could already sense that that feeling was there.

I can feel that discomfort.

I can feel I can't really explain it in words.

What happens sometimes is when we're feeling down we then create a story about how we're going to feel later on.

We project into the future and we're like oh no now I have to feel this all day.

We almost create more fear and we get down on ourselves that we're feeling this way.

We almost make it worse by the story that we tell.

Instead of what our true practice is asking us to do is to just be with that feeling and to not judge it and to not create a story about it.

As I was trying to do this,

As I was practicing my meditation,

I had these two words that came to me.

The two words were be gentle,

More so be gentle on yourself.

That it's okay that you're experiencing this right now and you don't have to run from it.

Be gentle.

I use that as a cue for the rest of my day.

As my day went on and I started to maybe feel it a little bit more or I would get down on myself that I was just taking a break or I was laying down on the couch because I was feeling just unmotivated.

I just remembered those words and I tried to use them as a cue to get me back in with myself.

Be gentle on yourself that it's okay that this is part of the human experience to have and to be able to sit with these emotions and to see that it's going to eventually run its course.

But it's okay.

It's okay that it's here right now.

So today's practice is going to be a practice on being gentle to ourselves but also a practice in being with some discomfort both physically and maybe even emotionally if it feels right to go there.

And seeing if even in that discomfort we can find ease and we can find a way to find compassion with our experience and ourself.

So go ahead and begin to come into your space and come into your practice.

Starting to connect with the physicality of what your body is experiencing right now.

So feeling the connection of your sit bones rooting down to your cushion or into your chair.

Feeling your hands resting on your thighs or between your hips or by your side.

Wherever you are allow yourself to feel held.

Allow yourself to feel held by your cushion or your chair.

And feel that support.

Feel this physical object that is holding you up.

It's keeping you in place.

And then feeling the support that might not be as physical and as tangible.

You might need to take that any way that resonates.

You might feel yourself as if you're meditating with all the people that are meditating in the world right now.

There's that support even though we can't see them.

Maybe they're on this app,

Maybe they're elsewhere.

But there's a community and especially in the insight community.

Maybe feeling held and supported by that.

Or maybe you're feeling held by what you can't see.

Feeling held by just the energy in your body,

The energy outside of your body.

Begin to use your natural rhythm of breathing.

To continue to ease into that support and that feeling of being held.

Allow your body to go there.

Allow your lower body to really weigh down.

Relax your shoulders.

Relax your belly.

And let's take a few more moments following each breath in.

And each breath out.

As we come into full support,

Full acceptance of allowing ourselves to be held right here.

Just another moment.

Breathing in.

Breathing out.

Allowing yourself to be supported.

And together let's take a more intentional deeper breath in.

And let that go.

So the Buddha talks about these three different feeling tones.

Basically these three different experiences that we go through.

Or that every part and every experience in life is either one of these three.

One is pleasant,

One is unpleasant,

And the other is neutral.

And our tendency is to run away,

To resist what is unpleasant.

To seek and hold on to and attach to what is pleasant,

What is good.

And to really just not notice what is neutral.

So we're going to continue with examining just the physical body right now.

And moving through these maybe three different sensations in our body.

And first scanning your body and see if you can find any place in your body that's feeling a little bit unpleasant.

Maybe there's some discomfort there.

Maybe some discomfort in your hips,

Your neck,

Tension in your shoulder.

Maybe it's a smell or a taste.

So you can scan and find just one part of your body that you can bring your awareness into.

And notice if there is any initial reaction to want to resist it or want to fix it right away.

And instead for today,

See if you can just be with that experience.

See if you can be gentle with that experience.

Not pushing it,

Not grabbing it.

Just being gentle.

Continuing to find your rhythm of your breath.

And taking a few moments to just be gentle with this part of your body.

Another moment here.

Be gentle.

And also be gentle on yourself if your mind wanders,

If you can't exactly find the place.

Watch that judgment and just be gentle.

Just for today.

And slowly begin to let the focus on the discomfort go.

And we're going to work now on seeing if we can find one part of our body that's feeling pleasant,

That's feeling good.

It's interesting,

It's always easiest to find the discomfort,

Maybe both in our bodies and often as you see with many conversations in life with other people,

Right?

Always talking about what's wrong.

So let's just take this moment and scan our body and find what's feeling pleasant.

What's feeling right.

Maybe it's the peace and just sitting in the space that you probably sit at often.

Maybe it's the ease of your breath.

Maybe it's a pain that was there but is no longer there in this area,

Your body is feeling a little bit more open.

And there might be an appreciation with that.

Scanning your body,

Finding this place and notice if there's any initial wanting to even make it feel better,

To hold on to it.

And just like with what is uncomfortable,

See if you can just be with it.

Just be gentle with it.

Using your breath to keep you here.

Be gentle.

Notice if there's anything that changes.

And then slowly let that go.

And come in to finding a part of your body that feels neutral.

This is often the most difficult or can be the most difficult.

The most overlooked.

And finding wherever that is,

It can be the bottom of your feet,

Your gums,

Fingernails,

Side of your tricep or really anywhere that isn't often thought about.

And same practice here.

Be with it even if it might be difficult to find it or experience it.

And if you're having trouble,

Remember,

Be gentle.

It's okay.

See if you can just be with it.

Be with this part and again using your breath to keep you here.

And take an intentional breath in.

And let that go.

We're going to move away from the body and if it's comfortable to you,

If it feels like you can go there,

I'd like you to bring up something that might be emotionally challenging to you right now or it could be something that is a pattern that gets emotionally challenged.

Something that has happened before or you think may even happen again.

It could be just a specific emotion.

It could be a stressful situation.

Maybe it's just the sense of self-criticism that you have.

And see if you can bring to mind what that is.

Maybe it's a visual image.

Maybe it's just a feeling of when that is triggered or how it feels.

And first,

Just as we did in our physical body,

See if you can find if there is a place in your body where this emotion manifests.

If there's a tightness that happens in the chest or heaviness through the belly.

Just scanning and again,

Not resisting.

It's allowing it to be here.

This too can be here.

Allowing the breath to keep you here.

And just notice if there's anything that changes,

Any relationship to it,

And just allowing it here.

Not needing to push it away.

Just another moment here.

And continue to hold this experience,

This emotion in yourself and in your experience right here.

I'd like to invite some words in and see how they land.

Be gentle.

Be gentle on yourself.

Remember,

You don't have to have it all figured out.

No one does.

Maybe just repeat those words to yourself for a few breaths.

Be gentle or be gentle on yourself.

I'm sure you spend enough time being hard.

Repeating,

Being gentle on yourself.

Just allow it to be there.

And we're going to continue to share some more words to ourselves.

So you can say this out loud.

You can repeat this silently to yourself.

You can just listen.

We're going to say it as if we're speaking in the second person.

Speaking to ourselves.

Be gentle.

You are safe.

Be gentle.

You are held.

Be gentle.

You are supported.

Be gentle.

You are enough.

And repeat one of those that you think you need most right now.

And then I invite you to,

If it feels okay,

To bring one hand to your heart.

One hand to your belly.

And then repeating this to ourselves.

Be gentle.

I am safe.

Be gentle.

I am held.

Be gentle.

I am supported.

Be gentle.

I am enough.

And then repeating one of those that you need to give to yourself.

If there's any other words that you'd like to give to yourself,

Now is your chance.

And then you can release your hands back by your side.

Take a cleansing breath in with me.

And let that go.

So on this difficult day that I was telling you about,

I didn't have any clothes to wear,

So I only had this one shirt,

This funky looking tie-dye shirt that I put on.

And I went into the bathroom and I was looking at myself in the mirror and I was just thinking about myself being in public with this shirt and I just started laughing.

And I just started cracking up.

And I remembered right there,

I was like,

Wow,

And laughter,

What a medicine.

What a way to get out of that funky feeling,

To laugh at ourselves,

To laugh with friends or anything,

Right?

So I invite that experience,

If you would play with me right now,

Of maybe just starting with a big smile.

And then imagining something funny,

If you can think of imagining yourself in a funny shirt in public or doing something funny.

And if it feels okay for you right now,

If no one's around,

Maybe just start laughing.

It's okay.

You're not crazy.

Just start laughing.

Let it out.

Let it out if it's there.

Let it out.

It needs to come out.

Let me take ourselves so seriously.

Let it out.

Just a little bit more.

And then slowly come back.

Whenever that's done,

And after you get off this,

I hope you laugh more if that's calling you.

But come back into your body and slowly open your eyes and come back into your space.

And I thank you as always for taking the time to go through these practices.

And I just appreciate the chance to engage and to connect with you and to support you hopefully on your journey.

And only what I'm always what I'm reminded of during times of difficult emotions is the spectrum of emotion.

And the fact that we are able to experience the lows not only gives us empathy for others on the path,

But it also helps us to truly understand our own joy and the other side of that.

And that with the lows,

We have to experience the lows so that we can experience the bliss and the joy and the love of who we really are.

So I am grateful to be able to support you through that and connect with me if there's ever any questions or comments,

Please.

I love to support you in any way that I can on your path.

Sending much love and thanks.

Namaste.

Reviews

A nice way to sit with acceptance and surrender. Thank you. 🙏

The smiling and laughing at the end really made me feel better. Thank you! ❤️

That was exactly what I needed 🙏🌟🌱🙏❤️🪷Thank you for all you do for us, Lou 💓thank you for reminding us to laugh and have fun along the way 🙏❤️

You continue to be a gift in my practice on this journey of “The Full Catastrophe” life. ❤️🙏🏼

Just what I needed to do today. Thank you for your gentle guidance. Namaste 🙏

Thank you for this powerful meditation. It has made me feel lighter, calmer, and more hopeful. Thank you!!!🙏

Amazing. Thank you.

Thank you 🙏 Lou! I needed that this morning! Sending love 💕 and hugs 🤗 from Portugal 🇵🇹!

Thanks for the smiles!

Loved this! Especially the laughing at the end. Finished the meditation smiling and feeling very light, relaxed and safe inside my body. Thank you. 🥰

Thank you for this. 🙏

Thank you for this beautiful reminder to be gentle and laugh.

Dear Lou! It was wonderful laughing with you😀🙏
As you know by now... simply your voice is supporting and absolutely wellfeeling. Danke!

♥️ This is wonderful.

Seriously, this meditation is phenomenal! It provided perspective and better understanding of my feelings! It was exactly what I needed today. After laughing with you during meditation, I continue to have a huge smile on my face. You’ve given me a gift today and that is joy! Thank you so much!

This was wonderful, as always. Thank you!

Thank you so much. Your meditations are helping me through some very difficult emotional times.

Your words are perfect. So grateful ❤️ had a good little giggle too! :) thank you

Lou, thank you again. I am just home after spending a few weeks with my elderly, much loved , ailing father. My family dynamics are incredibly difficult at any time, and amplified during times of stress and crisis. Being with my anxiety today was just what I needed. To know that it’s ok, that I’m ok......I am feeling such a relief right now. On one of my trips to the hospital to see my dad, “ fat bottomed girls” came on the radio. I became so intensely. involved with the song, cranked at full volume, any passer by must have thought me MAD!! Makes me laugh just thinking about it! Thanks, and enjoy your day!