Accepting Yourself & Others

There are times when we ask ourselves, why am I not happy despite the things I have? What if you are missing something that is essential? Let me share with you the first step on the path of transformation. This will guide you to truly see and know yourself.

Transcript

Hello,

My name is Lou Redman.

Welcome,

Thanks so much for being here.

Today,

We're going to talk about the first step to transformation,

Wherever that might be needed in your life.

We're going to start with sharing a quote that has an unknown author.

The quote is,

You can't fix what is perfect.

You can only see it and come to realize your own perfection.

If I were to say you are perfect,

How would it land?

Maybe it stirs up resistance,

Your rebuttal being nothing is perfect and that's okay.

But what if you're missing something essential,

A truth that's right under the surface,

Opening way to inner freedom?

What if perfection is all there is and all there ever was and you are a part of its dance?

All the messes,

Mistakes,

Shortcomings,

Heartbreaks,

Breakthroughs,

Accomplishments,

Failures,

Triumphs,

Utterly,

Painfully perfect.

What is not perfect is a rhetorical question Paramahansa Yogananda urged his followers to ask with the answer being nothing is imperfect.

Actually the biggest lie that we believe is that there is something wrong with us.

But how do we glean that perfection?

How do we really embody that no,

No,

Nothing is wrong with us?

And it starts with acceptance.

All transformation starts from acceptance.

The reason you're unhappy is because you're not accepting what is.

Once you accept your experience,

You release resistance,

Which is blocked energy and open pathways to change,

New energy.

Accepting the moment is finding perfection.

Why?

Perfection is a thing being what it is.

Let me say that again.

Perfection is a thing being what it is.

What else could something be besides what it is?

Yet we want to play Old Testament God and judge what's right and wrong.

And the moment we do,

We separate from acceptance and we return to resistance.

Again,

Acceptance brings energy,

Resistance blocks energy.

Perfection is a thing being what it is for the third time.

Divorce is perfect,

Marriage is perfect,

Death is perfect,

Birth is perfect,

Anger is perfect,

Joy is perfect,

Losing is perfect,

Winning is perfect.

It's all just being what it is.

Joseph Campbell writes,

When we talk about settling the world's problems,

We're barking up the wrong tree.

The world is perfect.

It's a mess.

It always has been a mess.

We're not going to change it.

Our job is to straighten out our own lives.

Perfect doesn't mean we like it.

It doesn't mean we don't have preferences.

It just means we stop thinking that things have to go our way in order to be okay.

Acceptance doesn't mean inaction or apathy.

On the contrary,

If your situation is hard,

It's harder without acceptance.

Once we accept,

We open up space to see things differently.

We work to change our state of being,

Which impacts the world around us.

The other day was a beautiful afternoon and I hadn't been outside yet.

I poked my head around 4pm and wished that I can go for a walk,

Yet I had a call to get on.

And for a few minutes I pouted,

Man,

I really wish I didn't have this call.

I just want to go on the walk.

And in that moment there was resistance.

And then I remembered acceptance.

Boom,

Immediate shift.

I let go of what I thought it should be for what it is.

And I happily joined my call.

This example is small,

But how many small things like this happen to us during the day?

The daily moments of resistance multiplied over time slowly disconnect us from the vitality of our being.

After years of resistance,

It's no wonder we lack energy.

I don't know if you're like me,

But I actually have a tougher time accepting the small things than the big ones.

Let's talk a little bit about accepting others.

Who are you trying to change?

Where are you feeling resistance by not accepting where others are at on their journey?

Like ourselves,

We judge how other people should and shouldn't be.

Like accepting the moment,

We release an energetic connection each time we accept others.

It doesn't mean we love it.

If it's someone close,

Like children,

It doesn't mean we don't offer the best we can for their growth.

We just don't take on their responsibility.

Accepting children makes me think of the first few lines of Khalil Gibran's poem on children,

Which is in his beautiful classic book,

The Prophet.

And he says,

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of life's longing for itself.

They come through you,

But not from you.

And though they are with you,

Yet they belong not to you.

Once you accept where a person is,

You can see them as they are.

That's all we really want,

Don't we?

People who are nonjudgmental,

Giving us the space to learn and grow on our own.

Once you release the energy you're attaching to someone,

It gives you both space to grow.

There's wisdom in knowing that we don't have to change someone.

Once we accept,

Again,

We glean perfection.

Next time you find yourself comparing or judging,

Try affirming,

I accept where other people are at on their journey.

If you want more inner freedom,

Take some time to reflect on the resistance you're creating by not accepting your situation or other people.

I hope that this was helpful for you.

Please always feel free to let me know by sending a message,

Leaving a comment.

I love getting an opportunity to connect with you,

Sending lots of love for you and the rest of your day.

If you enjoyed this talk,

I want to do some deeper work around it.

I have a meditation on here called Accepting Others.

Go ahead and search for that or join my circle and you'll see it in one of the more recent meditations and you can do that meditation and help you work through some of the themes that we talked about today.

Hope to see you over there.

Take care.

Reviews

I enjoyed this very much, looking forward to Experiencing some of your others.

Very thought-provoking meditation. I have bookmarked it to listen to again. Thanks 🙏

Thank you for. sharing this timely and helpful message. ❤️ Blessings to you!

Loved it

Really great talk - going to try to find the meditation now… thanks!!

It was exactly what I needed to hear this morning, thank you, Lou

Yes, Lou, this is very helpful! So simple, yet profound. If only I had been aware of this in my life before my late 60's! Of course...acceptance. Still raising grandchildren, I will most assuredly be listening to your other pointings about this 'new' revelation. Thank you. 🙏

Thank you, Lou, very helpful in navigating some family snags happening right now. For such a young man, you’ve garnered a lot of wisdom!
Namaste,
Donna

Thank you for sharing. This was much needed this morning. My only daughter has been distant for years and this brings much pain and sorrow. I am trying to accept what is.

the is a perfect talk for where i am right now. my husband passed away a few months ago. even though i’m a long way from being able to accept his death, I can accept smaller things like, i miss him or i accept that it will take me time to accept his passing

Beautiful offerings and work Lou. I will come to this again. Thank you much blessings Namaste 🙏

Resistance blocks energy.. I love this. Thank you.

Excellent talk Lou 🙏🏻👌🏻

Just what I needed to hear..Thank you.

Thank you - needed this reminder today Lou

You speak my language. You’ve spoken so much to my life the past few months!

ithank you! helpful to hear . i've also been wondering about accepting resistance !

Good talk Lou- will def listen again. Many blessings 💗

I enjoyed your words that really prompted me to shift the way I thought of some things.

Thank you, Lou. This was perfect—and needed—for me at the start of my day. You hit the high notes on just what I need to remember each and every day. I will go to your meditation you recommended later today. Peace and grace to you. 🕊️