6 Paradoxes To Live By

Paradoxes offer direction for our journey. As Adyashanti says, "The closer you get to the truth, the more you come into paradox." In this talk Lou shares six paradoxes that will you toward greater growth, insight, and transformation.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to the Awakening to Purpose podcast.

My name is Lew Redmond,

Meditation artist,

Life coach,

And your friend on the soul journey.

I'm so excited that you're here.

Today,

We're going to be discussing six paradoxes to live by.

If you don't know George's character in the show Seinfeld,

He is portrayed as a lame,

Cynical,

Down-on-his-luck man with a track record of lost jobs,

Failed relationships,

And just an overall difficulty with life.

Since things never go his way,

In one episode he decides to do the opposite of what he would typically do.

Guess what happens?

Life starts working for him.

He gets a great job,

A beautiful relationship,

And starts having this vibrant life.

This silly comedy points to a few things.

The world is backwards.

Mark Twain said,

If you find yourself on the side of the majority,

Take time to pause and reflect.

What George taught us is to question our habits.

If insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result,

It's evident that in order to change,

We must change.

When was the last time you took a risk?

If you can't remember,

That's a sign to try something new.

It will take work to break out of your routine and create a new momentum.

And it's what stops most people from change.

It's difficult,

But worth it,

Which is kind of paradoxical.

And that's where I want to come to,

Is to understanding that paradoxes are powerful guideposts.

As Adi Ashanti says,

The closer you get to truth,

The more you come into paradox.

And so I want to share with you today six paradoxes to live by.

Number one,

Structure brings freedom.

Freedom is doing what you want,

When you want.

Agree or disagree with that.

If you're retired or out of a job,

You know that this definition is false.

It's difficult to wake up and make decisions all day.

Structure creates ease,

Focus,

And attention.

If I told you to draw a picture of whatever you wanted,

You may feel overwhelmed.

Yet if I told you to draw a picture of a blue animal,

Instantly you have ideas and a vision.

Boundaries breed creativity.

The freedom that we're seeking is inner freedom.

And what do those devoted to inner freedom do?

Go to a monastery,

You see the same schedule every day.

Wake up,

4.

30am,

Meditate,

Have breakfast,

Meditate,

Clean,

Meditate,

Lunch,

Etc.

Every day.

The most structured place lends to the most expansive states.

You access freedom through self-discipline.

Self-discipline is about becoming a disciple of the self.

The more support you have around your devotion to self,

The better.

This can mean a community,

A life coach,

A trainer,

Or it could be getting clear on what is important to you and structuring your days to ensure that there's time.

As Elizabeth King says,

Process saves us from the tyranny of our intentions.

Number two,

Doing hard things makes life easy.

Doing easy things makes life hard.

I saw an ad on a bus that said,

Diets don't work long term,

Surgery does.

Culture conditions us to seek comfort and deceives us that it will make us happy when it only leads to more depression.

The proper amount of stress helps us grow.

Comfort after stress creates fulfillment.

Think of the feeling of getting back home from a workout,

Taking a shower,

And then relaxing on the couch.

Ah,

It wouldn't feel as good if you started on the couch.

I worked with a client who discussed overcoming his fear of speaking in front of an audience.

He told me how liberating the experience was and how great he felt afterward.

He then said he wanted to not feel the fear anymore.

I told him,

Sounds like you don't want to feel liberation either.

Only by feeling the fear and courageously stepping forward,

He experienced the reward.

We are constantly coming up upon edges.

It's not that we have to get ourselves too uncomfortable.

The work is meeting your edge and taking a small step through it.

Then find a new edge,

Rinse,

Cycle,

And repeat.

As Kabir Helminski,

The Sufi mystic and teacher writes,

The spiritual journey from beginning to end can be characterized as the overcoming of fear.

Beware of those telling you it's going to be easy and go the opposite way.

Number three,

The way to free your pain is to feel your pain.

As of this recording,

I haven't sat in an ayahuasca ceremony,

But from what I understand,

A main directive is if you have a choice between going towards something that feels dark and something that feels light,

Go towards the dark.

Why this counterintuitive advice?

We have to face our demons,

Not run from them.

The stoic wisdom says the obstacle is the way.

Going through your darkness,

You retrieve the gifts you're here to share with the world.

As Robert Bly puts it,

The wound is where your genius lies.

If we don't bring light to our shadows,

They will affect us unconsciously.

Don't spiritually bypass thinking that it will go away if you think positive thoughts and just stay in the light.

Go into your darkness.

Picture the yin-yang symbol in your mind right now and think about if you find yourself in the darkness,

In that black part,

Go deeper until you come across that speck of light.

And then as you enter that light,

You kind of come across the other side as if bending time and space and you emerge with the gift of your darkness.

And then as you enter into the light,

You share it with others and then journey on to face the next challenge,

Which if you're thinking of a yin and yang symbol is that speck of darkness within the light.

And then we repeat the process over and over.

This is like the process of our hero's journey.

Father Thomas Keating states that the spiritual journey is one humiliation after the other.

Trust the fall.

Trust the breakdown.

It's here for you.

It's teaching you.

It's guiding you.

Number four,

Give and you shall receive.

Dana,

Which means giving away valuable things,

Is considered a base practice of merit in Buddhism.

And it's not just for showing righteousness.

It's a practice in non-attachment and is considered an act of saving for the future since you get back what you give.

And this paradox makes the most sense when you come from a non-dual lens.

If there is no separation,

Then we are giving to ourselves.

However,

The intention must be giving without expectation.

Money is an easy place to start,

Maybe also why it's the most restrictive.

And asking you,

Do you have difficulty with money?

And if so,

Try seeing it as God's money.

Just as the trees aren't yours,

Why do you think the money is?

With this perspective,

Send God's money out into the world to bless others and you'll receive more of it as a blessing to yourself.

I talk about this on day nine of my course,

Essential Tools for Healing and Transformation.

So go check it out if you want to explore that more.

What if you gave away the best you have?

There's a great article out there called 50 Ways to Be Ridiculously Generous.

I'll encourage you to either look it up or I'll try and note it in the notes so you can kind of find a link to that.

A lot of great ideas on there.

Please feel free to message me if you try any of them out.

Number five,

You're already whole,

Perfect,

And complete.

And you have work to do.

Kabir Helminski again writes,

What is most human is not guaranteed by our culture,

But only given in potential.

A person must work in order to become human.

So wait a second,

You're telling me I'm the divine image of God right now and I need to work?

How frustrating.

Yes,

We have work to do.

The question is,

Are we working from a place of devotion or lack?

It's common in self-improvement to work from a place of not enough.

This idea of self-help is flawed because we can never fill what is always empty.

Instead of working from not enough,

Work from devotion.

Make every act to serve a greater good,

Honoring the divine in yourself and others.

When you approach your growth as a devotional practice,

You find that each stage is enough.

Your life is always whole.

Then,

Like peeling back an onion,

You go deeper.

Number six,

The best criticism of the bad is a practice of the better.

Now,

I don't exactly know if that's a paradox or whatnot,

But it sounds a little counterintuitive,

So I kept it in there.

I'll say it again.

The best criticism of the bad is a practice of the better.

This is a quote by Richard Rohr.

David Hawkins used to joke,

I don't go to peace rallies.

They're too dangerous.

What you show opposition to creates opposition in yourself.

Again,

We're talking about non-dual ends here,

So we're just doing it to ourselves.

And this is not to say that we don't stand up to injustice,

But we just don't play the same game.

Gandhi and Martin Luther King are so renowned because they practice non-violence in action and in speech.

Martin Luther King didn't say,

Let's hate these people.

He said,

I have a dream.

And he painted a picture of possibility.

In my online course,

21 Days of Mourning Motivation and Inspiration,

Someone asked what they should do if they try to be positive,

But face cynicism from their husband and son.

I told her,

Keep being you.

You don't have to make them wrong or make yourself right.

Just keep embodying the positivity that feels authentic to you.

Gandhi said,

Be the change you want to see in the world.

Jesus said,

Love your enemies for they know not what they do.

Therefore,

We can have compassion for those we disagree with and work to make change by embodying our best self.

Darkness is the absence of light.

Don't shun the darkness.

Be the light.

The greatest gift you give to the world is your energy.

So continue working through the dissonance in your field.

If you find yourself having difficulty accepting others,

You can check out a meditation that I have on here called Accepting Others.

Just clear.

Just clear.

All right,

So let's recap right now.

Six paradoxes to live by.

Number one,

Structure brings freedom.

Number two,

Doing hard things makes life easy.

Doing easy things makes life hard.

A caveat here for a moment that I get people are going to have some resistance to this one.

My partner actually joked that she hates this saying.

So,

You know,

Everything is in context,

But so I receive that if that's you.

But I hope you understand what I was trying to get with it today.

Number three,

The only way to free your pain is to feel your pain.

Number four,

Give and you shall receive.

Number five,

You're already whole,

Perfect and complete and you have work to do.

Number six,

The best criticism of the bad is a practice of the better.

How do you put these paradoxes into action?

Set up a structure for yourself,

For your life,

Your schedule and stick to it.

Get accountability from someone,

Your friend,

A life coach,

Whoever.

Make three important things that you want to get done each day that are in service to your vision.

Do these first before other tasks get in the way.

Next,

Find your edge.

If you don't have any,

You're probably too comfortable.

Do something that expands what you think you can do.

There is so much fulfillment in the process.

Next,

Ask yourself the question,

What am I not willing to feel?

Journal what those places are and bring them to light.

Listen to the places that you get triggered because they are your treasures and you can learn a lot from them.

Practice gratitude.

It is the antidote to lack.

Feel gratitude for the fullness of each moment.

Catch yourself in scarcity thinking and root out the scarcity mindset.

There is enough.

You are enough.

Give a little more than you're comfortable with.

And then lastly,

Don't be a hater of the bad.

Be an advocate of the better.

Embody what good you stand for.

Wear it on your sleeve without shaming or making others wrong.

Did you find this helpful or thought provoking?

Please share with a friend and always welcome to let me know your response in the comments.

I read all of them.

Unfortunately,

I don't get a chance to respond to all of them as of now.

So thanks so much.

If you do leave a comment,

I do read them and appreciate you sharing them.

So I'm sending you so,

So much love as always.

Namaste.

Oh,

And please,

If you want to stay updated with future talks that I share on here,

Please join Lou's circle.

And that's a place to stay updated.

And if you like some of the topics in this course,

Specifically,

I have a newer course,

21 days of morning motivation and inspiration.

I think you'll find a lot of value in it.

All right,

That's it for today.

And we'll chat soon.

Reviews

Thankyou so much Lou. I liked what you had to say and it resonates and makes sense to me.

I will join Lou's group to learn more!

Namaste 🙏 🪷

Thank you Lou for your words of wisdom this morning!

Very thought provoking talk Lou. Thank you for sharing and I'm going to look up more of your ideas.

This has been helpful to making a positive change in my life. Thank you.

This is Breathtaking, mind-Boggling, soul healing -Just brilliant. I know I will return to it repeatedly in good times and difficult ones. Thank you and keep up the amazing work.

Lots of helpful offerings to digest here. Namaste ♥️🙏🏻

Excellent advice. Feeling the pain. Non shaming, being the light. I need to listen again, so many ideas to take onboard. 🙏

Fabulous - I love your clarity. I took notes and have the 6 paradoxes to share with my friends and clients. 🩵

Great stuff! Thank you and namaste. Ill be listening again, lots to absorb .

Your words, practices, and thoughts are always so helpful and inspiring. Thank you!

Really resonated with me. Grateful for your sharing.

A good reflection for my morning routine , change is in process
Namaste Lou 🙏🏽💖

Thank you Lou.

That was really wry fine; I found it clrear and helpfully

A great set of guidelines to live by. I especially loved that there is freedom in structure (I learned that from a dance teacher years ago for doing improvisation) and that you are already complete and have work to do. The wisdom of the latter is so powerful: to act from a place of devotion to a purpose (instead from the a place of lack/scarcity). Thanks, Lou!

Action packed messages and insights!! Thank you Lou 🙏

This was quite provocative! Thanks for always helping me see things from another angle 🙏🏻🌺

I thoroughly enjoyed your talk. It spoke to me on so many levels as I become comfortable being me💚

I’m going to listen again and take notes ! Thank you Lou ! I loved!

One of my favorites from you. I felt like a sponge trying to absorb as much as I can. Will listen to this again. Thank you for sharing this! 🙏🏼