The following exercise by Lula Sbrigado and derived primarily from acceptance and commitment therapy,
Is designed to get to know a part of ourselves that may either push us around or that we tend to hide from ourselves or others.
A part can be any emotion,
Set of beliefs,
Self-story such as the inner critic,
Motivational drive,
Or behavioral pattern.
By listening to and learning of a part's conditioning and intentions,
We may be able to forge a more flexible and workable relationship with it.
Find a relatively comfortable position,
Either sitting or lying down,
Where you can be undisturbed for the next 10 minutes.
As a means of transitioning to this exercise and drawing your attention inward,
I invite you to slow down your breathing for the next few breaths by emphasizing a long exhale.
And then gradually allow your breathing to find its own natural rate and rhythm as we continue with the meditation.
If you're willing,
Close your eyes,
Or if preferred,
You can keep them softly opened.
Now take a moment to get in touch with a part of you that either exerts a lot of influence over your day-to-day behaviors,
Choices,
And interactions,
Or conversely,
A part of you that you tend to keep hidden,
Perhaps a more vulnerable part.
Once again,
This could be a set of beliefs about yourself or others,
An emotion such as fear,
Anger,
Guilt,
Shame,
Or a behavioral pattern such as perfectionism or people-pleasing.
It could be a deep,
Enduring longing or yearning that's hard to satisfy.
Take a moment to choose which kind of part you're willing to work with for this meditation today.
Once you identify a part,
See if you can get a sense of its presence right now.
Whether faint or fierce,
How does it feel?
You might imagine this part sitting next to you,
Perhaps as an object,
A character,
Or a different version of yourself.
Imagine what it might look like,
And then become aware that you're noticing it.
So there's this little bit of space between you and this part.
Now consider how this part affects you in your daily life.
What does it say or do?
How does it influence your choices,
Experiences,
Or interactions?
In what contexts or situations does this part appear to play a major role,
Whether or not it's seen or known by others?
As best as you can recall,
When did this part of you first emerge?
How long has it been around?
At what age were you when this part really made itself known for the first time?
And why?
What was going on at that time in your life that may have given rise to this part?
Not always,
But often,
These parts can manifest as an emotional wound or a way of protecting us from emotional wounding.
Which if either of these might this part represent?
Was it in pain or trying to protect you from pain in some way?
And if we fast forward back to the present,
What is this part trying to communicate or do for you today?
Is it possible that it's trying to help you in some way?
That it has good intentions,
Even though the outcome may be unhelpful?
And if you didn't pay any attention to this part or allow it to have influence over you,
What might it be afraid would happen as a result?
Given all this,
How do you feel towards this part right now?
How would you like to relate to it?
If someone you deeply care about or greatly respect disclose that they too have a similar part within them,
How might you respond?
Take a moment to let all this sink in while you bring your attention back to your breathing,
Perhaps with a few more slow,
Long exhales.
And again,
See if you can imagine this part sitting next to you.
Perhaps you've just observed and gotten to know it a bit.
And if we zoom out,
Perhaps you can see that it's one part of a much larger you that includes other behaviors,
Emotions,
Beliefs,
Values,
And roles you occupy in your life.
As this exercise comes to a close,
Consider how you would like your new relationship with this part to inform your choices and interactions going forward.
