The following meditation,
By Lula Sbrigado,
Is designed to cultivate self-compassion for any form of suffering we may be enduring.
To this end,
We will practice acknowledging and making room for our painful experiences in a context of common humanity,
While unhooking from self-judgment and responding with care and kindness through perspective-taking.
Find a relatively comfortable position,
Either sitting or lying down,
Where you can be undisturbed for the next 12 minutes or so.
Closing your eyes,
Or keeping them softly opened if desired,
Bring your attention to your breathing,
And for the next few breaths,
As a means of centering yourself and settling into this exercise,
You might emphasize a few long,
Slow exhales.
And then gradually allow your breathing to find its own rate and rhythm,
No longer needing to control it.
As we move through this meditation,
Your mind might naturally resist or try to distract you from making contact with anything painful.
This might be its way of trying to protect you.
However,
In the service of learning or deepening a compassionate way of relating to yourself,
See if you can return your attention back to the instructions at hand and whatever may be arising in real time.
First,
I'm going to invite you to get in touch with how you might be suffering at this time in your life.
These could be in the form of physical pain or discomfort,
A chronic health condition,
An acute or chronic stressor,
A mental health issue,
Grief over a loss of some kind,
Interpersonal struggles,
Or distressing thoughts and feelings related to the world at large.
And as you begin to hold this suffering in your awareness,
Notice what shows up in your body in the form of sensations or emotions such as fear,
Anger,
Shame,
Guilt,
Or sadness.
See if you can just observe these feelings as they are without a struggle.
You may choose to breathe into the feelings as a way of making space for them and thus building your capacity to feel,
Noticing that there are these painful experiences and then there's you observing them.
If any judgmental or self-critical thoughts arise,
Which often occurs in the face of suffering,
That's just our mind attempting to explain or problem-solve the pain,
Which can inadvertently add another layer of suffering.
So instead,
See if you can simply allow these thoughts to come and go as they are.
Relatedly,
You may notice a story that your mind has created around the suffering,
A story about you,
Others,
Or your interactions with them,
A story that sometimes functions to protect us from such painful experiences happening again.
And yet,
This story can have an unwelcome side effect of isolating us or seeing ourselves as separate or different or helpless.
If such a story exists for you,
See if you can step back and see it for what it is.
Now,
Take a moment to zoom out from your particular issue and consider that,
Just like you,
There are many,
Many others in the world right now who are suffering in some way.
While the specific circumstances may be different,
The way in which our suffering shows up as painful thoughts and feelings is something we all have in common together.
And just like you,
Most will try to hide it from plain view so it's not always apparent.
So rather than hiding from it or sinking into it all alone,
Can you see your suffering as part of this larger context of common humanity?
Next,
Imagine that someone very dear to you,
A loved one,
Perhaps a family member or friend,
Came to you and shared about their own suffering.
Imagine looking into their eyes as they vulnerably disclose the nature of their painful experience.
How would you want to respond to them?
What would you say or do at that moment?
And if this person knew the depth of your suffering,
Including the conditions that gave rise to it and how it affects you today,
How might this person respond to you?
What might they say or do?
As you reflect upon both of these perspectives,
Can you turn towards yourself now and offer the same level of support,
Care or kindness?
Your mind might naturally chime in with objections or resistance.
And once again,
See if you can just allow those thoughts to come and go as you bring this compassionate way of responding towards yourself.
What might you say to yourself to acknowledge how hard it is to carry your pain?
Can you hold yourself kindly by taking one or both of your hands and gently resting them on your chest and or abdomen?
Or perhaps wrap your arms around yourself,
Just as you might hug or hold a loved one who is suffering.
And can you infuse this action with loving kindness and compassion,
Just as someone might for you or you for them?
Now if you're willing to take this one step further,
I'm going to invite you to use your first name in responding compassionately to yourself.
So in other words,
As you acknowledge what's difficult or painful,
Can you include your first name in addressing yourself?
This may feel awkward at first,
If you haven't done this before,
And yet it can also enhance the effects of self-compassion.
You might even choose to express a wish for wellness or peace for yourself.
As this exercise comes to a close,
Consider how you might bring some part of what you practice today into your life going forward.
The next time suffering rears its head,
Could you turn toward yourself with some tenderness?
Now slowly open your eyes if you haven't already.
Take a moment to reorient yourself to your surroundings and see if you can acknowledge this little bit of self-care you did today.
