The Many Disguises Of Fear - Aug 31

What does fear look like in your life? In today's 5 Minutes in Nature Liz reflects on the many disguises of fear. She sees that fear shows up in many different ways, from rage to people-pleasing. There will be different ways that fear shows up and it's helpful to see the impact of fear in your life too.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to Five Minutes in Nature with me, Liz Scott, Perched on a Dartmoor granite boulder overlooking the village of South Brent. I'm quite high up on the moorland. There's a southwesterly wind tickling the back of my neck. It's cool. It's lovely. It's my perfect kind of weather. There are grey low clouds in the sky. It's a bit of a respite from some of the hot baking weather we've had. I can see below me on the hedgerow, Of trees and there's a bright orange red berries of the rowan bush that I can see that are shining out against the dark green of the other leaves of the trees around it. And today's reflection has been prompted by a conversation I had with a group of women yesterday and I want to share both today and tomorrow something that came out for me around the reflection on fear. And I guess the question for you to ask yourself today is, How does fear show up in my life? How does fear show up in my life? And the obvious answer, And this is probably where I started in the conversation with my friends, Is. . . The obvious answer, As we were reflecting on fear, Was that it shows up in very different ways. One way is a sense of nervousness. I mean, You might be asked to give a talk in front of a group of people and you might feel a bit sweaty and nervous. Thinking about what may or may not go wrong. That might be a form of fear and we can all relate to that and say yes I can see that is fear. Fear turns up when we imagine a future and we start to think about worst case scenarios. That's fear. We're scared that something might harm us. Fear also turns up when we scare ourselves with limiting beliefs or beliefs and stories that aren't true. That also is a form of fear. But the conversation I had with these women was really interesting because we considered some of the other symptoms of fear, All the other ways that fear shows up. And one of them shared how, For her, Fear showed up when she advocates or it feels that she speaks up for a friend of hers who is disabled. So her friend is unable to speak up for herself, Has a disability that means she can't speak up for herself. And the lady on the call today told us how her fear shows up as a kind of rage. And she described a situation where she was phoning a health professional on the behalf of her friend and how she just kept getting fobbed off with different answers and fear turned up as rage. Said things on the call, Some things which she wasn't bothered about saying but she knew that needed to be said, But other things she later regretted saying. But she said, You know what, That in a way is a kind of fear. And we all could see that. The rage of maybe not being heard, Of not making a difference. Then there's the insecurity you might feel. And this again is another kind of fear of what if something doesn't work? What if I try this out and it doesn't work? What if I write a book, I put it out in the world and no one buys it? What if I put out that I want to run a webinar or a course and no one signs up. That insecurity is a kind of fear and this time it's showing up by a feeling of potential social abandonment or rejection. That is a kind of fear. It sort of prevents us from doing things because we imagine a future of something happening or not happening and we feel that sense of insecurity, That sense of fear. But it also might turn up in a multitude of other ways and I'd love to know how fear turns up for you and I'm going to give you one more example. It might turn up by you desperately trying to please other people. You're so fearful of other people judging you or not liking you, Or you're fearful that people might judge you in a particular kind of way, That you try and warp yourself and mould yourself into the kind of person you think that they are going to like. You please others in order that they like you. That is a form of fear as well. So the question today is how does fear turn up in your life? We've looked at rage, That could be fear. Insecurity, That could be fear. People pleasing, That might be fear. But what other ways does fear turn up in your life? And we're going to return to this topic tomorrow. So let me know your reflections now and don't forget to join me again tomorrow as we continue this conversation about fear.

Reviews

Fear for me shows up as inaction. The freeze response takes over and I procrastinate about whatever I'm trying to do or complete. I know this stems from a childhood of being told I needed to do better or that what I was doing wasn't good enough, so my response is that if I don't try it, I can't fail and therefore won't be chastised for not being brilliant! It's something I have worked on lots and am still working at. Knowing the root helps me to see that it's not the truth, but just someone else's story, but it's still hard to feel the fear and do it anyway!

False Expectations Appearing Real.

For me I believe it is that something might happen to prevent me from learning and growing and staying active as I get older.

How it shows up is that I continually try new things and many times out myself out there so to speak. Sometimes I would like to think I can put it all down and not have to do anything and perhaps it means prove anything.

Thanks Liz. ✌️❤️

When you began and posed the question, “how does fear show up for you “ My immediate response was my husband’s name. He lives life from a place of fear. I am sure that is not where you were going with this. But it struck me so profoundly.
Thank you for your work here Liz.

The fear of not being liked was very much reality for a big chunk of my life but I rarely feel it now.
Anxiety around the uncertainty of the huge effects of climate change on our lives and how quickly it spreads is what shows up the most in my life. It seems stories from around the world are closer to home all the time and I catch myself having anxious thoughts.
I do recognise it as agitated thoughts that are not to be trusted but these events are real and feel very much out of my control. I'd be interested in a different perspective on it.
Thank you Liz.