Hello and welcome to Five Minutes in Nature with me Liz Scott on the 31st day of my pilgrimage as I walk the energy currents of the Michael and Mary line across England from Cornwall to Norfolk.
I'm currently in between counties,
I'm between the borders of Wiltshire,
Berkshire and Hampshire so I'm not entirely sure where I am at moment as I'm standing on a track that's leading me to a place called South Forley and on my left hand side I can see green pasture land behind a barbed wire fence and a small white farmhouse in the mid distance and then on my right is a ploughed meadow or a ploughed field with some kind of crop that's just starting to come through.
I can see the wispy green of new growth coming through and contrasting against the brown of the ploughed field and today as I left Ogbourne St George I've been not really following either Michael or Mary.
The route I'm taking is in the spirit of Michael but it's just very hard to follow the route exactly when you're taking time on footpaths and avoiding all the main roads.
So this has been a long day of walking and the sun has been shining,
It's been quite warm,
It's the first day I've taken off my fleece and felt hot and today has been tough if I'm honest,
It's been a hard day of walking.
I actually prefer cold,
When I walk I prefer it to be cooler so I can walk fast to warm up.
When it's warm like this,
When it's hot I find myself quite literally wilting,
I feel like a flower out of water just finding it every step harder and harder and today was also a longer day of walking.
I'm experimenting with walking a little bit further and my heel is hurting and my legs are sore and my feet are aching and so I yeah today's been tough,
It's been really tough and what I find is that as I physically find things tough,
Mentally I find things tough as well.
So I've been very aware of thoughts of feeling guilty that I'm not at home helping with a care of my mum,
Feeling guilty that my husband is doing so much to support me on this walk,
He's doing the shopping,
He's doing the campsite moving,
He's doing the cooking,
He's getting bits that I need,
Even today he came and met me on the walk and brought me some nuts as a little bit of a morale boost and again it's that kind of feeling that I'm having to give up being responsible for things that normally in everyday life I would be responsible for and as I'm tired I find that feelings of guilt arise within me,
I find myself questioning whether I'm doing the right thing,
Should I be walking,
Shouldn't I be helping others,
What am I doing out here on a pilgrimage for seven weeks,
That doesn't seem like I'm really pulling my weight in the real world and I say all this because underneath all of that feeling,
That guilt,
That worry,
That concern,
That discomfort,
Underneath it all there is something within me that knows that this is the right thing to do and I can't even explain it.
Everything that seems to happen,
Whether this morning it was me hanging around waiting for my husband because he got gassing to somebody on the campsite and feeling that twitch of impatience to get moving,
Everything that happens I kind of realise is happening,
There is another layer for me to see through,
So as I was waiting for my husband feeling twitchy I just realised it came to me,
Just be patient like a dog is patient,
A dog waits for the owner to do whatever they do and the dog just waits patiently,
That's what my dog does when I faff around,
He just waits for me and it's almost like it's the invitation at every turn,
Whether it's my sore feet,
It's the heat,
It's feeling thirsty,
It's feeling guilty,
It's feeling anxious,
It's feeling unsettled,
Everything is being laid out before me to show me that there's something here for me to see through and I know that ultimately,
Ultimately all there is is for me to bring my attention back within me and to settle and to feel within me my intuitive deeper wisdom,
Is this the right thing?
As I do that and I ask the question is this the right thing as I walk the pilgrimage,
Today as I speak to you now the answer is yes.
