Hello and welcome.
It's day 26 of this 30-day experiment where I'm living from a place of love rather than fear.
My name's Liz Scott and it really feels as though I am coming towards the end of the experiment and I feel quite excited inside that I've managed to keep going day in and day out.
If you're joining me just remember that I'd love to hear how you're getting on.
Part of this is to understand what you're seeing for yourself and remember you don't have to have any major big insights every day.
I've learned from this experiment there's some tiny little nuggets of insights that are showing up which in day-to-day life,
If I wasn't bringing my awareness back to love rather than fear,
If I hadn't been doing this experiment then I probably wouldn't have noticed some of the things that I'm learning.
I'm finding it really fascinating actually just to see what's what and today I'm still away,
I'm still camping,
We're still down at Slapton and the weather is quite thundery and I went out earlier for a walk and it was one of those walks where I kind of knew that thunder was in the air and I could look across the ocean and I could see fork lightning and grey clouds and obvious thundery rain gushing into the ocean and I just felt that extraordinary sense of connection with nature,
Of joy at seeing the power of nature and today in contrast to this extraordinary powerful thunderstorm that I witnessed what I've seen today feels quite small and yet it feels really significant.
Once again I have come back to this feeling of I'm not doing it right,
I'm not good enough and because I'm doing this experiment where I bring my awareness back from fear back to love I think I've noticed more often how habitual this little thought is,
It's like an irritating little insect that keeps niggling me.
The thought is I'm not doing this experiment right,
I'm not doing it well enough,
I'm not doing it properly.
When this feeling and thought pattern emerged I noticed it and that's the thing I'm beginning to realise is really important.
Notice your thought patterns and you'll notice them easily and you can notice them easily because of the feelings that they have so for me with this I'm not good enough,
I'm not doing this experiment very well,
That came with the feeling of not being good enough,
Of feeling a little bit deflated,
That I was a bit low about my abilities.
The key as I'm seeing it is to notice those feelings,
Those feelings alert me to the fact that I am getting lost in a habitual thought pattern and when I notice it I'm able then to bring my awareness back to love.
So I'm not trying to get rid of thoughts,
I'm not trying to think more positively,
I'm not trying to dismiss them,
I'm not trying to be logical about them,
I just bring my awareness back to love and today what I saw I had this image emerge from within me that this habitual thought pattern that I'm not good enough was like smoke.
In other words when you stand back from it and you look at it,
It looks solid and real but if you go into it you realise that there is nothing there,
It has no substance.
That's what I was shown today about my thought patterns is that these habitual thought patterns they come in,
They roll in,
They do their thing but they have no substance to them and that felt like an important thing for me to see today.
The other thing I saw is that I feel a little bit bored by them.
They come in trying to get my attention and it's like oh here's that old thought pattern again.
I don't get rid of it,
I don't fight it,
I don't try and convince myself that I'm better than what this thought is telling me.
What I've seen is really helpful today is I notice it,
I see through it,
I see that it is like smoke,
There's nothing substantial to it and then I come back to a place of love,
A place of settledness and in this space it's a bit like the thunderstorm out at sea,
It can do its thing the thought pattern.
I'm not in it,
I'm able to see it without being lost in it and that has been so important.
So for me again I'm learning things,
They're little tiny nuggets,
They're like gems,
They're like pearls.
Everything I'm learning makes sense and feels as though it's a gift for me each day.
I just hope you're having a similar experience.
Remember this isn't about doing anything major or grand or huge in your life,
This is about just gently being aware when you get lost in insecure and unsettled thoughts and feelings.
Bring your awareness back to love and then see what there is for you to learn and it will be probably quite small and be gentle with yourself and be kind with yourself and let me know how you're getting on.
I absolutely love hearing how you're getting on,
So do let me know.
