The Fight Singers

A 12-year old cancer survivor empties her piggy bank and starts a childhood cancer foundation that raises over a million dollars. A 43-year-old woman gets very sick after a misdiagnosis and loses almost everything. The girl sings out loud, the woman with her hands and arms. This is the true story of Elana Koenig and Liza Gilbert, whose lives crossed paths, the creation of a music video, and how both define themselves with tenacity and music.

Transcript

15 years ago a mistake was made.

One word was put into my medical record.

Just one.

It changed my life for a decade and a half.

The medications I had been taking for depression and anxiety weren't working.

My doctor at the time then said I was bipolar.

One word.

When I moved to another state and my medical records were requested,

Everything was seen through the filter of that one word.

In the past month,

Really in the past couple of weeks,

One word was swapped for another.

After getting severely ill this fall,

What came to light was that I had never been bipolar.

I had spent 15 years on highly addictive medications,

Had had adverse reactions to dozens of them,

And had lost almost everything.

Over one word.

This month after half a year of re-diagnosing and testing,

I was told I have autism instead.

By comparison,

It is a condition that is treated largely without medication.

My body had had enough by last fall.

I woke up one morning in the worst pain of my life and needed help getting out of bed into the hospital.

I tested at toxic levels as my body was no longer tolerating medications for a condition I didn't have.

The power of one word meant that no matter what I explained was happening to me,

Everything I said was filtered through the misconception that bipolar people are hysterical and overly anxious.

When I finally got help at a different hospital,

Mayo Clinic,

I had been triaged for what appeared to be a stroke when one side of my face fell and I lost feeling in my hand.

I had lost a lot of gross motor skills and shuffled and dragged my feet when I walked.

One eye moved independently of the other and would get stuck on the side of my face.

I had developed sleep apnea,

Lost the ability to do small math in my head,

Gained a stutter slur,

And lost my ability to sing on key.

Worst of all,

The two strongest medications I was on,

The ones I took the most of for the longest period of time,

Are both immunosuppressants.

One word in my record had me treated with medications that severely weakened my immune system during the worst pandemic in over a hundred years.

I dealt with being tested 12 times for COVID and being quarantined for months.

I thought after that the shuffling or the stuttering would bother me the most.

How would I continue to contribute anything to insight timer or even take my dog for a walk?

I started shuffling to music in a kind of zombie dance,

Alone by myself.

To rehabilitate my body and regain my motor skills.

I discovered that my stutter slur only happened under certain conditions and I was adapting to my new circumstance.

What ended up causing the most damage to my soul was not being able to sing.

I can still make vocal noises,

But two of the most important means of expressing myself,

Playing the piano and singing,

Had disappeared with half of my hand numb and my singing voice gone.

My shuffling zombie dance one day moved up into my hands and arms and I started trying to sing with upper body movements.

I recorded songs for my friend to see.

We hadn't been in the same room for over seven months at that time and they were posted online.

No one ever really watched them except for my friend and the occasional original recording artist who wanted to see what I was doing.

But I was working through my problems with my new way of singing and a lack of attention from the outside world was not as big of a bother as I thought it would be.

Right before New Year's I was driving home from Mayo Clinic when I got a text.

Some 12 year old girl had seen my video cover of Jason Mraz's I Won't Give Up on Twitter.

She liked it enough to send me a comment.

Oddly I had only done the song for who I thought was my only viewer,

My best friend.

Alana,

The 12 year old Twitter commenter,

Had liked a middle-aged woman waving her hands around enough to send a comment.

Her profile picture was unusual so I clicked on it.

She had one word that changed her life too.

Cancer.

By the time she was only 11,

Alana had been diagnosed with a rare form of bone cancer,

Had undergone aggressive chemotherapy,

Managed to keep one of the highest overall grades in her school,

And won her fight.

She had the spirit to tell me that I was doing something good but when I looked into her profile I saw exactly where that comment was coming from.

Alana and her sister,

During and after her cancer fight,

Had emptied their piggy banks to start their own fight.

The Konig Children's Cancer Foundation was born with Alana at the head,

Still not yet a teenager.

They have raised over 1 million dollars to help children who are fighting cancer,

Their families,

And in the last year to provide safety equipment for medical professionals working in COVID conditions.

I really had no option.

As a children's librarian before I became so sick on the wrong medications I knew that Alana was nothing short of phenomenal.

Not only did she have the tenacity and faith to fight as hard as she did,

When she was cleared of cancer herself and given the opportunity to walk away from that one word and have another life,

She decided to dig in,

Try to take it down,

And lift up as many people as she could along the way.

I replied back to her comment,

Told her that anyone who does what she does,

At the very least,

Deserves a song.

I asked her what she would like and Alana asked for Rachel Platten's Fight Song.

To be honest I felt like I was punched in the stomach.

Fight Song has incredible meaning for millions of people around the globe.

I'm waving my hands in the air in the basement.

I would never be able to do the song credit and Alana deserved better.

I came up with ways to improve my performance,

Outfit changes,

Different filming locations,

And special effects.

None of it worked.

I kept getting sick on average once every week and a half and every time I had something planned I had to cancel.

I kept doing practice takes which seemed pathetic and I just filed them away.

Then Alana's mother contacted me through Instagram.

She sent me a video from the World Net Summit which honored Alana and her fight for other kids.

Throughout her battle with cancer and in fundraising and raising awareness,

Alana sang.

From her bed with almost no hair,

On a stage,

By herself,

She sang.

Fight Song.

Her version remains the best cover of the song I've ever heard and I would say that even if I didn't know about her cancer history.

Her voice is singular,

Clear,

And she personalizes what she sings.

Not enough to totally change it but just enough that you know this is someone unique and special doing what she loves to do.

Alana's mother asked me if I could do a video in split-screen with Alana singing and me doing my hand and arm singing.

I told her no.

I would do my version and I would put it after Alana's in a single video if they wanted but I was not going to share a screen with Alana.

She's just too good and her story is too remarkable.

If we shared a video she had to go first.

Period.

Full stop.

No negotiating.

She deserves to share a screen with no one.

Then I sat back and I waited.

I waited to feel better,

For the temperatures to not be below 15 degrees Fahrenheit so we could do a take in the snow by the Mississippi and for the special effects supplies to arrive.

While I waited,

Another side effect from the medications I'm still trying to taper off of came instead.

I developed severe carpal tunnel in my non-dominant hand and arm.

Affecting the ulnar nerve it damages my entire arm and hand and sends shooting pain into my chest where the nerve connects near the shoulder.

I was given braces to wear and was told that the carpal tunnel may go away when I'm finally off the medications in about a year.

My new way of singing to replace my voice was now wrapped up in braces and a promise I had made to an incredible 12 year old crusader was dying.

I woke up this morning and decided to write this because I finally understood why none of my attempts at filming fight song for Alana had worked.

I was missing the message.

The best versions of the song are done by fighters not victors.

Alana's version has power because she is still fighting.

My attempts at hiding my problems to make a perfect recording for her shut me down.

I needed to use what I still had left in me to make an honest song for Alana.

The end result,

Our final video,

Shows Alana first,

Then me in a pieced together performance from earlier clips and today in my braces.

In the end the fight singers are the ones whose voices are strongest because they are still fighting,

Not giving up,

Finding strength in strangers half a country away and still believing in music.

I had also been wrong about something else.

My one word wasn't bipolar and Alana's isn't cancer.

Neither of us behaved in accordance with those words.

For both of us our one word was and is fight and that's how we sing.

Reviews

Wow! It’s an understatement!
I’m so grateful for your story. It’s epitome of “You Go, Girl!” You give me strength to resume my multiple battles including family domestic abuse where I live to help take care of my 94 year old Mom whom I had promised to take care of before my alcoholic brother returned to cause mayhem and despite being sober still does with his severe mental illness — unfortunately not enough to get him committed.
Stories like both of yours shared “strength and hope” helps us learn from each other and bolsters each up.
Thank you So much for this. I will look up the videos. I’ve not heard the song yet.
I similarly appreciate the sorrow you would feel at the loss of singing. I don’t sing well or for anyone but I record my own songs which lets me express myself and record my life at the time.
Thank you seems inadequate but it’s genuine and complete.
Warmly,
Anne

I fought back tears from the 2nd min. on. I have pain throughout most of my body and I must admit that sometimes I feel pretty hard done by, but the stories of you both made me feel ashamed of my self pity. Your strength and courage astound me and give me hope that I also can find the courage to move forward and help others. Thank you so much for sharing your amazing stories with all of us, giving us the opportunity for growth. Maureen

Thank you so much for sharing. I felt the liberation in your talk so much in fact that I looked up the video. You keep being you - inspiring and beautiful! 🙏🌺

Incredible. Both of you.

That was amazing! Is the video up for the public? I would love to hear that young girl sing!