Welcome to the Dealing with Anti-Joy Meditation.
Most of us have a negative Nelly in our lives and if it turns out that's you,
Maybe we can work on that together.
Let's approach that negative inner voice like we would our well-meaning but often very unhelpful anti.
So get yourself into a comfortable position,
Whatever that is for you,
Whether it's lying down or sitting.
Closing your eyes or gaze downward if that's more comfortable for you.
Touch in with the sensations of contact with the floor or chair.
Feeling your feet on the ground,
Whether it's the flat of your feet or just the heels if you're lying down.
Notice what your hands are touching right now.
Can you feel the texture of the floor or the arm of the chair?
Now notice that your body is breathing.
You can place a hand on your belly and feel the rise and fall as you breathe in and breathe out.
Feeling the lungs,
The ribcage and your torso are expanding as you breathe in and contracting as you breathe out.
In and out.
In and out.
If you're struggling to connect with your breath,
You can just use some simple words to help,
Like thinking I'm breathing in,
I'm breathing out.
Or even just the words in and out.
Now that you've grounded yourself,
Let's have a chat with your inner voice and we'll call her Auntie Joy.
Picture yourself having a visit with an elderly lady that you call Auntie.
Take a moment to just imagine what she looks like for you.
And create an image of the room or space that you're sitting in with her.
Perhaps the two of you are just sitting and having a cup of tea together at the kitchen table.
Now my auntie always has a lot of advice for me.
But is it good advice?
Or does it tend to be judgmental or downright critical?
Usually none of her advice is asked for.
So together let's see if we can understand her concerns and encourage her to quiet down so that you can hear your own inner wisdom without the judgment.
Auntie Joy,
Well I appreciate you want what's best for me and you're trying to protect me in your own way.
But you really are becoming a pain.
What is it that you're trying to keep me safe from?
What is it that you're afraid of?
Are you afraid that I'll make a mistake?
And you think you're going to motivate me to improve myself?
Thank you Auntie Joy,
But I am human and humans sometimes make mistakes.
I can learn and grow from these mistakes and it doesn't make me a bad person.
Do you remember that time that you accidentally deleted all of your emails?
Or is it that you're afraid that my behavior can bring some criticism from other people?
That people won't accept me for who I am and that I'll end up all alone?
You know that's kind of harsh.
Thank you Auntie Joy,
But I'm not sure you're seeing things clearly and making some assumptions.
I know I can't predict what others think.
And I don't need to shrink myself in order to make others feel better and like me more.
You know,
I'm actually a pretty cool person.
I have people who care for me just the way I am.
Even when I wear that outfit you absolutely hate.
Thank you Auntie Joy.
I know you're trying to be helpful,
But can you do that by encouraging me rather than being judgmental and condescending?
Can you say what you think I need to hear in a kinder way?
Try again.
Nope.
Try again.
Okay,
One more time.
And now take a moment to release that image of Auntie Joy for now and let's check in with how you're feeling.
Were you able to roll your eyes and smile a little on how absurd your auntie can be sometimes?
Did knowing what you were afraid of help with understanding your thoughts about a situation?
How is your body feeling?
Is it tight?
Or can you feel some release from understanding yourself a little?
Take a moment to give thanks to your thinking brain and how it tries to protect you.
Just like your auntie.
Whether or not they're actually being helpful or not.
Thank you for listening.
