Hello and welcome.
This practice is known as meeting difficult emotions.
Sometimes it's also referred to as soften,
Soothe,
And allow.
Experiencing difficult emotions is necessary to practice self-compassion and courage.
However,
We don't need to jump into the deepest end of the pool of our dark emotions.
Just waiting in them in the shallow zones is enough to start to offer ourselves the compassion and the kindness that we need.
We want to gradually meet our difficult emotions,
Not overwhelm ourselves.
So let's use this practice of naming what we're feeling,
Feeling it in our body,
And then softening and soothing and allowing the emotion to be there.
This practice has been adapted from Dr.
Kristin Neff and Dr.
Chris Germer with their permission.
Let's get started.
Please find a comfortable position sitting or lying down,
But just be really comfortable for this practice.
If it feels right,
Close your eyes and take a few really relaxing breaths.
If it feels right to you,
Perhaps placing your hand on your heart or another comforting place,
Just for a few moments to remind yourself that you are in this room and that you too are worthy of kindness and compassion.
Then begin to let yourself recall a mild to moderately difficult situation you're experiencing right now.
Could be a health problem,
A strained relationship,
Something at work,
Or perhaps a loved one in pain.
But do not choose something that's really complicated or a really difficult problem or also not a trivial problem.
Choose one that generates stress in your body when you think of it but doesn't overwhelm you.
And then I invite you to visualize the situation.
Who is there?
What's said?
What's happened?
What might happen?
Now that you're thinking about the situation,
Seeing if you can name a difficult emotion that might be arising within you.
Perhaps seeing if a label for that emotion comes up a name.
Anger,
Sadness,
Grief or confusion.
Perhaps fear or longing.
Maybe despair or shame.
And if you're having many emotions,
For this practice see if you have a name for just the strongest emotion associated with with this situation.
Now repeating the name of the emotion to yourself in a real gentle and understanding voice.
Perhaps as if you were validating for a friend what he or she may be feeling.
Oh yes,
That's longing.
Or honey,
Oh that's grief.
Perhaps I just sense anger.
Taking this moment to just name the emotion.
Now expanding your awareness to your body as a whole.
Recalling the difficult situation again.
Scan through your body for where you feel it most easily.
In your mind's eye,
Sweeping your body from head to toe,
Stopping where you can sense little tension or discomfort.
Just feeling around for what's feelable in your body right now.
Nothing more.
Now if you can please choose a single location in your body where the feeling expresses itself most strongly.
Perhaps it's a point of muscle tension or area of soreness,
An achy feeling or a heartache.
In your mind gently leaning into that spot,
Turning towards it.
Now softening into that location in your body,
Letting the muscles soften,
Letting them relax as if in warm water,
A warm bath.
Softening,
Softening,
Softening.
Remember we're not trying to change the feeling,
We're just holding it tenderly.
Perhaps maybe even just softening a little around the edges.
Now soothing yourself because of this challenging and difficult situation.
If you wish,
Placing your hand over the part of the body that feels uncomfortable,
Just feeling the warmth and gentle touch of your hand.
Perhaps even imagining warmth and kindness flowing through your hand into your body.
Maybe even thinking of your body as if it were the body of a beloved child.
And then just soothing,
Soothing yourself in this moment.
Just soothing.
And perhaps there are some comforting words you might need to hear.
If so imagine you had a friend who was struggling in the same way.
What would you say to this friend?
I'm so sorry you feel this way.
Or oh I care so deeply about you.
Can you offer yourself that similar message?
Oh it's so hard to feel this.
Or may I just be kind to myself.
At any time through this practice if you feel the need to open your eyes or let go of the exercise.
Just coming back to feeling your breath.
But if it feels okay to continue,
Then finally just allowing the discomfort to be there and just make some room for it.
Releasing the need to make it go away.
Allowing yourself to be just as you are just like this if only for just this moment.
Softening,
Soothing,
Allowing.
Softening,
Soothing,
Allowing.
Now letting go of the practice and focusing on your body as a whole.
Perhaps inviting a breath or two back into your awareness.
And finally allowing yourself to feel whatever you feel right now and to be exactly as you are in this moment.
Thank you for choosing to practice with me.
