Welcome.
This is a meditation for getting to know your inner critic or your self-critical voice.
When we often settled into a mindfulness or meditation practice,
Our inner critic often seems louder and more pronounced.
These self-critical thoughts can cause us to get on a thought train and we end up leaving the platform before we realize we don't really want to travel in that direction.
We can use practices of finding our anchors to meet our critical voice with some self-compassion and kindness rather than judgment.
So let's slow down,
Try this practice and get to know our inner critic a little bit.
This practice has been adapted from Diana Winston with her permission.
So please find a really comfortable place to sit.
Take a few moments to feel your feet on the floor and your hands on your lap.
If it feels right to you,
Close your eyes,
Lower your gaze.
And begin by noticing your breath.
Allow your breath to nourish your body as you inhale.
And soothe your body as you exhale.
Invite a state of relaxation into your body.
And for the time being,
Leaving all your worries and concerns at the door.
If thoughts or feelings pop up in your mind,
Your thoughts,
Remind yourself,
You don't have to attend to everything you think or feel.
Instead,
Let's use this practice as a way of coming back into this present moment.
As a way of feeling your breath right here,
Right now.
As a way of settling in while being present.
Bring your attention to your chest and shoulders.
Notice if they're tighter contracted.
Can we just lower our shoulders a little?
Can we soften?
Take a deep breath in and just let everything soften as you exhale.
Notice your jaw,
Throat,
And face.
Sense everything on the surface of your skin.
And really what's going on within your body as well.
Doing this with some curiosity,
With an invitation to relax and soften into your body.
Let yourself be here right now at this moment.
See if you can bring your attention to your breathing and the breath in your body.
The part of your body where you feel that breath most clearly.
For example,
You might notice your abdomen rising and falling,
Or your chest rising and falling,
Expanding and contracting.
How it changes with each breath.
Or perhaps you might notice a tingling in your nostrils as the air enters and exits.
Or the way the air hits the back of your throat as it travels down into your body.
Some people notice their whole torso as the air moves through their body.
That's fine.
Just noticing.
What's it like right now to be a human being that's being breathed?
Where does that breath land for you?
Shift your attention to now any sounds you might hear,
Just listening for one sound after the next.
Listen even to the sound of silence.
Listen to the sounds that come and go.
Don't get lost in a story about the sounds.
Let's not judge them for being good or bad or annoying or lovely.
Just simply listening to them.
Noticing them.
Moving forward,
Let's find an object to anchor this attention.
Could be that breath as it travels through your abdomen,
Chest,
Nose.
Could be your full body just being breathed.
Perhaps it's also involved in listening to the sounds around you.
Doesn't matter which you choose,
But go to whichever anchor seems the most interesting to you.
That seems the easiest to hold your attention.
There's no right or wrong way to do this.
If you can't decide,
Just pick one.
It doesn't matter too much.
Choose something that anchors us to this moment,
Brings in our attention.
Then really pay attention to this anchor.
Really focus your attention towards it,
Whether it's your abdomen moving up and down,
Your chest expanding and contracting,
The air moving through your nose with each breath,
The waves of movement your entire body may feel just by being breathed,
Or the sounds around you.
Just staying with the sensation of noticing this anchor.
Just keep attending to your anchor breath after breath or sound after sound.
Sitting with it to the best of your ability.
At a certain point,
If it hasn't already,
Your attention will wander and thoughts will come into your consciousness.
When you notice that you're lost in a thought,
You've jumped on the train and gone down the track,
You can say a soft word like thinking or wandering.
Then with that much ease as possible,
Let that thought go as you come back to this main focus,
This anchor.
We keep doing that again and again,
Over and over.
Now this is when we keep an eye out also for perhaps those judgmental thoughts.
Like,
Oh,
Other people are way better at this than I am.
Or I'll never get this right.
Perhaps it's something like,
Why did I do that thing yesterday was so stupid.
This human condition of being so quick to judge.
Every time you notice one of those thoughts pop up,
You can say in your mind again,
A soft word like judging,
Self judgment,
Or criticism,
Or you can find a word that makes sense to you.
This will help you to see how the judgments arise.
It's not personal,
You didn't set out to make yourself feel bad.
It just happens our minds like to take this journey.
For some of us these kind of voices come into our mind frequently.
For others they may be rare and that's fine too.
The practice here is to get curious,
To start noticing.
Ah,
There I am judging again.
Oh,
Hello,
Inner critic.
And then coming back to our anchor,
Our breath,
Our body,
The sounds.
As we do this practice,
This is a great time to remember to keep that quality of kindness towards yourself.
Really being curious about this process.
Noticing how interesting your mind is without judging yourself.
Working on maintaining the spirit of kindness and investigation.
Perhaps you're judging yourself for your inability to be curious even.
Perhaps that's where we can notice and invite even a bit of warmth to that.
Coming back once again,
Yep,
This is judgment.
Just noticing how you're doing with this awareness practice.
Really come back and always be mindful of the breath,
Of the way your thoughts operate.
You can ask yourself,
Did I get on that thought train?
Did I get off that thought train?
Was I maybe able to stay at the platform once or twice and watch the thought train go by?
Could I notice that I had some judgmental thoughts?
Was I able to bring a kind attitude towards myself for the self-critical thoughts that were present?
However this practice has been,
Can you bring some compassion to yourself for exactly where you are for whatever is happening right now?
May I hold this with kindness.
May I hold myself with compassion.
May I hold this with kindness.
May I hold myself with compassion.
Take a breath and notice if it is possible to bring kindness to the best of your abilities.
Whatever you are in whatever way makes sense to you.
May I be with myself exactly as I am.
May I be with myself exactly as I am.
And as this practice feels complete,
Letting go of the awareness,
Just sitting within yourself for a moment,
And when you are ready,
Open your eyes,
But take your time and go slow.
Thank you for practicing with me today.
