Understanding Our Defense Mechanisms
Freud's defense mechanisms are unconscious strategies the mind uses to protect itself from anxiety, stress, or unacceptable thoughts and feelings. These mechanisms can distort reality, preventing the individual from fully facing or processing these uncomfortable experiences. In this talk which is an extract from the live session, we discuss each of these defense mechanisms and what strategies we can apply to reduce our reliance on these automatic behaviours. The session also includes a guided meditation to reflect on how these defense mechanisms show up in our lives.
Transcript
Today we are going to look at defense mechanisms and these are fascinating psychological strategies that our minds use to protect us to protect us from anxiety to protect us from uncomfortable thoughts to protect us from uncomfortable feelings The concept of defense mechanisms was proposed by Sigmund Freud who essentially is considered one of the fathers of psychology as we know it today These mechanisms they operate unconsciously and that means that we are often,
Most of the times we are unaware that we are even using them and while these defense mechanisms help us to cope with difficult emotions and situations and over reliance on these defenses,
Defenses can lead towards unhealthy patterns of behavior and today we will look at each of these defense mechanisms in a bit of detail,
Trying to understand each of them,
There are about 11 of them and then we will go into a meditation and later on we look at strategies on how we can bypass how we can understand and overcome these automatic responses that we tend to use in our daily lives So the first one Repression and repression involves unconsciously pushing away unwanted memories unwanted thoughts,
Unwanted feelings out of our conscious awareness,
It's a way of keeping distressing thoughts buried so we don't have to confront them directly A good example is someone who has experienced a traumatic event like a car accident or a robbery and their mind automatically suppresses,
Represses the memory to protect them from emotional pain sometimes harsh childhood memories harsh punishment from childhood,
We tend to block these off,
We tend to repress them to shield us from lingering pain,
To shield us from lingering shame it's kind of a locking away a painful memory in a memory vault the memory is still there but it's hidden from our conscious awareness and while in the short term this can be helpful it can help us manage our day to day life unfortunately over the period of time these memories tend to resurface in unexpected ways and often causing us emotional distress or unexplained behavior you could take for the example someone who has a fear of water and can't really explain the reason why they are afraid of water afraid of going into a swimming pool afraid of going into the sea possibly this could be because of some traumatic event that they had in their childhood related around water which their mind has chosen to repress so the first mental defense,
Repression where we suppress our thoughts so that we don't have to deal with the emotions associated with it the next one,
Denial and denial is the refusal to accept reality or to accept facts acting as if a painful event,
A painful thought or painful feeling does not exist and it's a way it's a mechanism we use to avoid uncomfortable truths a good example is someone who has been diagnosed with a serious illness might continue to act as though they are perfectly healthy they may refuse to acknowledge what is the reality of their condition denial actually becomes very prominent when it comes to addiction when it comes to substance abuse and someone who is struggling with substance abuse insists that they don't have a problem even when they are faced with the evidence even when they are shown the evidence of how their behavior is affecting their life how it is affecting their relationships so denial acts as a barrier that blocks out unpleasant realities it can protect us from immediate emotional pain but it often delays the steps that need to be taken to address the issue and this just results in bigger challenges down the road then there's projection and projection involves attributing one's own unacceptable thoughts,
Feelings or impulses to someone else it allows us to externalize our own negative traits or emotions and kind of making it easier to deal with them this defense mechanism of projection is noticed you will notice it in your day to day living either being used by you or you may observe someone else using it someone who is insecure about their own intelligence might go around accusing others of being stupid or misinformed or someone who harbors feelings of jealousy or someone who is jealous about their partner might accuse their partner of being jealous even though their partner shows no signs of it projection it's like looking at a mirror and seeing someone else's face it's a way of dealing with uncomfortable feelings by placing them outside ourselves and ultimately over time projection can lead to strained relationships as the person projecting may unjustly blame or criticize others for the feelings that they are experiencing themselves then there's displacement and displacement is when we redirect our emotions or impulses from a threatening target to a safer less threatening one and this allows people to express their feelings but in a way that is less risky someone frustrated at work might come home and take out that same frustration on a family member by snapping at them over some minor issue and I'm sure many of us have either done this or have experienced displacement when it comes to social anxiety when someone is feeling anxious in social situations they might avoid confronting their anxiety but focus their irritation on something trivial like the weather or the ambience or the decoration so displacement is like kicking a dough instead of the person who angered you it allows you to release pent up emotions but in a way that misplaces the focus and potentially what happens in this is innocent parties are harmed whereas the original issue goes unresolved so that's displacement then there's rationalization and rationalization is justifying or explaining away an action or feeling with logical reasons even if these reasons aren't true and it's a way of avoiding the uncomfortable reality by reframing it in a more acceptable light anyone of you all has at any point in time made a purchase only to come home and realize that the purchase was not worth it or possibly people around you are telling you that the purchase is not worth it but then we start to rationalize saying that I purchased this item because and we start creating these reasons so someone who lost their job for example might say something like I didn't like the job anyway even though they are devastated by the loss or a student who didn't study for an exam might say something like that they perform better under pressure justifying why they waited to study at the last moment so rationalization is creating a story that makes the situation seem less distressing and what it does is it helps to preserve our self esteem and helps to reduce our anxiety but also prevents us from facing the real issues at hand that's rationalization then there's reaction formation where we behave in a way opposite to what we feel simply to keep our true feelings hidden and it can be thought of as overcompensating for an uncomfortable emotion you can take the example of homophobia someone struggling with their own sexual orientation might outwardly express strong homophobic views as a way to deny their true feelings another good example is over generosity someone who has deep resentment or anger towards someone might go out of their way to be overly kind or generous to that person so the action formation is like wearing a mask to hide our own feelings to hide our true feelings and often doing the opposite of what we feel it does protect the person from confronting difficult emotions but also creates inner conflict and inauthentic behavior then there's sublimation sublimation involves challenging unacceptable impulses or desires into socially acceptable or productive activities and sublimation is often considered one of the more positive defense mechanisms because it leads to constructive outcomes a good example of sublimation is someone who has aggressive tendencies they might channel their energies towards contact sports like boxing for example which allows them to express their aggression in a controlled socially acceptable manner or someone who feels a strong sexual desire might channel that energy into creating art or writing or any other form of creative expression so sublimation is a very positive defense mechanism it is like redirecting a powerful river into a channel that turns into useful energy and it allows us to transform potentially destructive impulses into something more beneficial then there's regression and regression is a reversion to behaviors which are typical of an earlier stage of development and often is seen as a response to stress or anxiety it's kind of a way of retreating to a time where life felt simple,
Where life felt safer where things felt good where they felt comfortable have you ever encountered the time where everything gets so overwhelming that you just want to eat chocolate or you just want to have a slice of cake or you just want to stuff yourself with ice cream so someone going through a traumatic breakup for example might indulge in behavior very typical of regression where they lean towards comfort foods,
Foods that made them feel good in their childhood it's like a stepping back into a time where things were less complicated and it does provide temporary relief but it often results in behavior which is inappropriate for the current situation the next one is identification and identification is similar to modeling where we adopt the characteristics,
Beliefs or behaviors of another person often someone who we admire or someone who we perceive as more powerful identification helps us feel more secure,
It helps us feel more aligned with others a good example is a young employee who might start mimicking the behaviors of a successful boss,
Believing that doing this will help them advance in their career or a teenager might adopt the style the language,
The attitudes of a celebrity that they admire in an attempt to feel more confident or more accepted by their peers so identification is like putting on someone else's clothes to feel more like them it can be a way to gain self confidence or cope with insecurities but it may also lead to a loss of personal identity and authentic self expression then there is intellectualization intellectualization and intellectualization like rationalization is focusing on the intellectual aspects of a situation to detach ourselves from the emotional aspects it's a way of avoiding emotional discomfort by engaging with the situation on a logical level an example is a person who receives a serious medical diagnosis they may choose to focus on researching the disease and discussing treatment in a clinical manner rather than addressing their fear or addressing their sadness or in a breakup of a relationship,
Someone might analyze the reasons for the failure in a very detached or a very logical way to avoid dealing with the emotional pain of loss it's like putting on a lab coat to examine your feelings from a distance it allows us to avoid the emotional impact of the situation but it can also prevent us from fully processing our emotions from fully healing and the last one is undoing and it involves attempting to undo a thought or feeling or a behavior that one finds unacceptable or by engaging in an opposite behavior it's like trying to negate or erase the impact of a previous action maybe we've said something hurtful to a friend and then after this we may tend to compensate by going out of our way to be excessively kind to them kind of to make up for our earlier behavior undoing can also be seen when we indulge in superstitious activities for example,
Knocking on wood or performing a small ritual after having a negative thought believing that this may counteract any potential negative consequences so undoing is like trying to erase a mistake with a giant eraser it reflects a desire to negate or cancel out something that we have done,
A bad action that we have done so the 11 defense mechanisms suppression,
Denial,
Projection,
Displacement rationalization reaction formation sublimation,
Regression identification intellectualization and undoing we will now go into a reflective meditation we will be looking at these defense mechanisms and how they show up in the different areas of our life so if you're seated simply sink a bit deeper into your chair if you're sleeping feel yourself sink into the bed and if you're moving around perfectly fine just relax yourself wherever you are and if it is safe to do so you can close your eyes and begin to focus on your breath inhale deeply filling your lungs with air and then slowly exhale releasing any tension in your body with each breath allow yourself to become more present more grounded and more open to this experience as you continue to breathe bring your attention to your physical body and notice any sensations any areas of tension any discomfort consider how you relate to your physical body do you avoid thinking about certain health issues telling yourself they're not a big deal maybe you've been denying the need for the checkup or delaying the need for the checkup or ignoring signs signs that your body is giving you and without judgment observe any defense mechanisms like denial or depression and what are these defenses protecting you from how might you address the underlying feelings with kindness is there a fear that needs to be acknowledged and if there's a fear to be acknowledged,
Acknowledge the fear and encourage yourself to take to take that first step out of denial out of depression now shift your focus to your personal growth to your development,
Your personal development reflect on your goals your dreams your aspirations the journey of becoming the person you wish to become consider whether sometimes you rationalized why you haven't pursued a certain goal maybe you've told yourself that it's not the right time or it wouldn't work out anyway or sometimes maybe you found yourself slipping back into old habits when things get tough when challenges come your way sometimes rationalization or regression come in the way of us not taking action on our dreams consider what fears or insecurities might be driving that and think about how you can move forward with authenticity maybe by setting small achievable goals now bring to mind your relationships with others your family friends partners colleagues and reflect on how you interact with those close to you have you ever found yourself accusing someone of being angry or upset when in reality those feelings might belong to you or maybe you've noticed that although you're upset with one person you end up taking out that upset on someone else the mental defenses of projection of displacement if you've projected your frustration onto your partner what might that reveal about your own emotions and how could you address these feelings directly with the aim of fostering healthier connections moving on to career and work your career or the daily work that you do and reflect on your attitude towards your job your colleagues or your professional aspirations have you ever found yourself throwing yourself into work to avoid dealing with personal issues or have you justified not pursuing a promotion or the new opportunity blaming external factors observe any defenses like compensation or rationalization if you're overworking to avoid personal problems what deeper issues might need your attention and what would it look like if you were able to balance your professional ambitions with the needed self-care and bring your attention now to your financial situation consider your beliefs your behaviors around money do you find yourself dismissing financial concerns telling yourself it will sort it out it will sort itself out even though you know it needs attention or maybe you've observed that stress about money leads you to splurge as a way to feel better denial and displacement can tend to show up around finances and if you're in denial about financial stress about your financial situation how might facing it more directly improve your peace of mind and what steps could you take to manage your finances more effectively and now moving on to your social life your place within your community and think about how you interact in social settings have you found yourself acting more extroverted than you feel perhaps because you think that's what's expected of you or do you find yourself withdrawing from social situations especially when you feel overwhelmed telling yourself that you don't need other people if you're acting opposite to how you feel to fit in what might that say about your true needs and how could you connect with others in a way that feels more authentic more supportive and finally focus on your sense of spirituality or life purpose and reflect on what gives your life meaning on how you relate to the larger questions of existence do you find yourself pushing aside spiritual doubts telling yourself that it's not important or do you tend to over intellectualize your beliefs to avoid deeper more uncomfortable feelings repression or intellectualization if you've been repressing doubts about your spiritual path what would it look like if you would explore those questions openly and how could doing this lead to a more genuine connection with your beliefs with your values and take a deep breath in and as you exhale release any remaining tension any remaining resistance gently remind yourself these defense mechanisms are natural and serve to protect you but by becoming aware of them by becoming aware of them you gain the power to choose how you respond to life's challenges and when you are ready you can slowly wiggle your fingers wiggle your toes bring your awareness back to your body to the present moment open your eyes and take a few moments to reflect on what you've discovered during this meditation what insights came to you and carry this awareness with you as you move through your day embrace each aspect of your life with greater understanding with greater compassion how do I move past these defense mechanisms firstly increase self-awareness start by regular reflection reflect on your thoughts reflect on your feelings journal it's a very very useful very very powerful tool engage in mindfulness practices like what we are doing today to become more aware of your thoughts and emotions in the moment start to understand what are the root causes what triggers you and pay attention to those triggers what fears what anxieties what past experiences cause you to behave in a certain way start exploring past experiences especially if past experiences are holding you back from your potential going to the past is a waste of time so explore past experiences only if they are holding you back from building the future of your dreams so understand the root causes challenge and reframe your thoughts you're having a thought challenge the thought is this thought based on fact or is this a story I'm making up in my head challenge your thoughts especially the negative ones in fact challenge only the negative ones seek healthier coping mechanisms many people lean towards addictions as a way of coping with the daily stresses of the world seek healthier coping mechanisms if you are not able to move ahead on your own work with a therapist or share and express your doubts with someone who you trust which could be a parent or could be a partner share your doubts,
Share your fears share your anxieties with someone who will listen to you without judgment because sometimes the act of sharing itself the act of being received without judgment can in itself be freeing practice self-compassion our worst enemy our worst enemy is ourselves we can be more cruel to ourselves than anyone else so it's very very important for us to practice self-compassion be kind to ourselves and to acknowledge progress foster healthy relationships,
Open communication,
Honest and open communication and set boundaries where you need to set boundaries,
Build good support systems in the path of growth in the path of development be it spiritual development be it physical development,
Be it your career development,
Set realistic expectations changing our behaviors takes time it takes time and it takes that little bit of discipline so be patient with yourself embrace the journey of personal growth,
It's a lifelong journey,
We can't we can't fix ourselves in a day,
We learn and we grow every day,
Embrace the journey thank you everyone for being here love,
Light,
Blessings namaste
