How To Find Your Bliss

I’ve had a growing epiphany over the last few months about the effort required to create joy.

Joseph Campbell is famous for saying,
“Follow your bliss”, and I took it to be simple and easy.

It’s not.

It takes effort, will, determination and often the ability to work through dark emotions like despair, frustration and doubt.

I guess that’s why Campbell also wrote so much about the hero’s journey.

So today, join me as we journey through what it takes to find your bliss and how you might make those first steps.

Transcript

Hello beautiful well-being family,

Lovely to be back with you again.

As I said in the previous episode,

I'm actually away in Bali for 10 days,

So I've pre-recorded a couple of podcast episodes.

And I was inspired to do this because I actually found a podcast myself that I'm absolutely loving.

You know,

I can't remember the name of it,

But it's a theology podcast.

And I just felt so grateful to these people for having recorded these episodes.

And I thought,

Oh,

Podcasting,

It just gave me a little bit more of an oomph for my own podcast that I realized because I do occasionally talk to people about the podcast.

And I know that it has been quite helpful for a lot of people.

So it just really urged me to continue podcasting.

I think sometimes it's easy to lose focus a little bit.

But when I listened to this theology podcast,

I was listening to some episodes about solitude and it was so helpful.

And I thought,

Oh,

If anyone finds my podcast just a tiny bit as helpful as I have found this,

Then I have to continue.

It's the right livelihood.

It's a good thing to be doing.

And it's a great way to connect.

So here I am recording a couple of episodes on the trot.

And today,

What I wanted to talk about,

It's something that I've been thinking about over the last month or so.

And I keep hearing myself saying it to friends,

To clients.

I even say it to myself.

And it's this idea that,

You know,

Joseph Campbell said a long,

Long time ago,

Follow your bliss.

And I would have heard that when I was in my late teens or early 20s.

I remember hearing it.

And I had no idea what it meant.

Absolutely none.

I understood what it meant,

But I had no idea how to do it.

And I think I had this vague idea that following your bliss was somehow easy.

It was somehow,

You know,

Something you did by just kind of wandering out into the field and looking for what turned you on.

I don't know.

I don't know exactly what I thought,

But I definitely had this sense that it was something easy.

And what I've started to realize in the last couple of months is that finding my bliss actually takes an enormous amount of effort.

And I'm imagining that that would go for you too,

Right?

That when we really want to find our bliss,

It takes a lot of effort.

And I'll give you examples to explicate what I mean about this.

That,

You know,

For example,

I took up ceramics 18 months ago and ceramics is wonderful and you can really get some beautiful results very quickly.

But it also can be extremely frustrating.

And there's an awful lot of technique to learn.

And I think if we take one example,

Using the potter's wheel,

Learning how to actually throw with some skill can be an incredibly frustrating and demoralizing task.

Sometimes even just centering the clay just won't happen or won't happen properly.

And then creating a shape or a form that I'm trying to create just doesn't seem to happen.

So it can take a lot of dedication and a lot of commitment,

A lot of time and effort and fighting through the sort of the doubt and the despair and the darkness.

And will I ever get this?

And I don't know if I'll ever get this.

And is it worth it anyway?

And why am I doing this at this stage of my life?

All of those,

All of those questions.

But what I've done is I've really pushed through a lot of that in the last 18 months.

I'm not saying that I'm there,

Not by any means,

But I've pushed through a lot of it.

And I've learned to kind of deal with it a little better in my own mind.

Like I speak to myself kindly and I let myself off the hook and it's OK not to produce anything today.

And we don't want to keep everything that we make.

But what I've realized about that is that when I do make something beautiful and it comes off the wheel and then I trim it and it's lovely.

And then I then I fire it and then I glaze it and it comes out and I think it's a beautiful thing.

And then I get to live with it.

That is bliss.

That is my bliss.

That's why I'm doing ceramics,

Right?

Because I want to make beautiful things.

They excite me.

I love them.

I love having them in my room.

I love being around them.

I love thinking about and planning what I want to make.

I love looking through pottery books at ancient pieces of pottery and wondering,

Could I make something like that?

And so there's my bliss.

But I have had to make a huge effort towards getting to my bliss.

And this is really what I wanted to talk about,

That it takes a lot of effort to find bliss.

And,

You know,

I can think of a number of ways in my life where that is unfolding,

Right?

That it doesn't just fall into my lap.

Bliss is not just falling into my lap.

I mean,

Sometimes it does.

Joy and bliss can sometimes be very easy to find,

Walking out into the garden on a sunny day,

Feeling the grass beneath my feet.

But this working towards my bliss is is actually something that I suppose it's been a bit of an epiphany for me.

Because,

As I said,

My initial thoughts about this phrase,

Find your bliss,

Were that it would somehow just fall into your lap.

It would fall into my lap so easily.

And it doesn't.

And so I wanted to talk about it because I think finding joy is one of the most important things we can we can effort towards because we all need more joy in life.

And it's OK to have joy.

In fact,

When we find our bliss,

We become the best versions of ourselves.

That's why we want to find it.

Right.

And certainly sometimes,

You know,

There are things that we can do quite easily that can be very joyful.

But in some ways,

Finding bliss requires quite a bit of effort.

And I would say that with my yoga practice,

Same thing.

I know that practicing yoga makes me feel good.

I love my home yoga practice.

But I still seem to have an aversion to doing it,

To getting myself on the mat.

And it doesn't happen every day.

And so what I've done is I've actually tricked myself by inviting my friends to come and learn yoga with me or practice yoga with me.

And that makes me honest and keeps me on the mat.

So it actually takes effort to get onto the mat,

Even though I know it's going to be blissful when I get there.

I don't understand the psychology behind it,

But there it is.

And so it made me think more about Joseph Campbell.

And then I remembered that Joseph Campbell wrote a lot about the hero's journey.

And I think in some ways,

I don't know,

I haven't read.

I really haven't read much Joseph Campbell at all.

But the two of them go together so well.

Right.

To find my bliss,

I need to go sometimes to quite dark places and make an effort and move through quite difficult emotions.

And then on the other side of that,

I might find some pieces of bliss.

I wonder what you think about that and what your experiences of working towards finding your bliss.

I guess,

You know,

The first stage of the hero's journey is quite interesting,

Isn't it?

Because in the first stage,

The hero hears the call.

And at the beginning,

He doesn't,

He or she doesn't want to hear the call.

She denies the call,

Right?

It's like,

No,

I don't want to do that.

Because there's this knowledge that this is going to be hard.

This is going to be really difficult.

I'm not sure that I want to put myself through this.

There is going to be the dark night of the soul.

There's going to be effort.

There's going to be feelings that I'm not going to make this.

Just like on the ceramic,

The potter's wheel,

Right?

My ceramic journey.

But the end of this,

Of that road or the cycle is that we're transformed and we're changed.

And we are more blissful and more capable of joy and enjoyment.

So I wonder how this plays out in your life.

I'm really super interested about whether you feel that you've made an effort towards looking for your bliss.

Oh,

And my last example,

Which I'd forgotten to talk about,

Is recently I did a five-day hike where I did it with my son and a couple of friends,

Where we hiked for five days and we carried all of our food.

We carried tents.

We carried sleeping bags and mats and all of our clothing and everything that we needed,

Basically,

For five days.

It was absolutely beautiful.

Through Kulula National Park,

We did the Kulula Great Walk.

And in getting prepared for that,

I was so excited.

I knew that this was something I really wanted to do.

We got all the good gear.

We got,

You know,

Packs and sleeping bags.

And I've even bought a really light,

Good quality two-man tent.

And we went to do this thing.

And,

You know,

There were moments that were incredibly hard.

There were moments that were not enjoyable at all.

You know,

There were some 20-kilometer days carrying 12 kilos up and down where I really was like,

Why am I doing this?

But on one particular ascent,

I realized that I just needed to talk to myself kindly and let myself do it at whatever pace I could.

And sometimes that meant take 10 steps and stop.

Take 10 steps and stop.

Take another 10 steps.

And if you want to sit down for a minute,

You can sit down for a minute.

Take your pack off.

That's okay.

And then I started realizing that with every 10 steps I took up on this uphill,

The view got incrementally better.

And I started really enjoying the view.

And by the time I got to the top,

I was so excited that there I was.

There was the bliss.

There was this bliss,

Right?

I'd worked through this phase of difficulty to get to this blissful point where I was walking along an amazing ridge.

It was just the most beautiful thing with the sea on one side,

The Noosa River on the other,

Opening into Lake Tharabar.

It was just divine.

But I had to make an effort to get there.

And,

You know,

Maybe this feels really simple,

But yeah,

Bliss is on the other side,

Often of effort.

And I'd love to know what your experiences are of this and whether you've got enough bliss in your life,

Whether you've got enough joy in your life,

Whether you know how to find your bliss.

And here's the thing,

Just sit down and ask yourself,

What do I love to do?

What excites me?

What makes me feel vibrantly alive?

I ask myself that question all the time.

And I know that the answer is singing,

Music,

Creativity,

Connection with other people and adventure.

These are the things that really light me up.

So then it's up to me.

Then when I know where my bliss is,

It's up to me to move towards it.

And it's in the moving towards it that I make that effort.

So I'd love to hear your thoughts.

As I said,

You can always contact me via email through my website.

Would love to hear from you.

Talk to you soon.

Bye.

Reviews

Well, that’s a good question. Right now there isn’t a lot of joy nor Bliss in my life. I seem to be in a state of do do do chasing my tail. I’ve listened to four of your talks and practices this morning, and they have really brought some insight into my mind. They’ve been gentle reminders and I truly am grateful for finding you this morning Laila.
I liked what you gave as an example of what brings you joy and bliss. I think what I’ll do is listen to this again and do some journaling about rekindling my joy and passions and bliss in my life. Thank you so much.🙏🏻❤️💞✨

I get both the pottery and especially the yoga!! I had had a daily at home yoga practice for a few years now and was feeling amazing. But, due to some health challenges and missing some days, I’m now struggling to get back to it. Every day that I don’t do it, I’m in a tremendous amount of pain. It always boggles my mind that I know what will make me physically feel better and yet for the past several months, it’s been quite the challenge for me. Thank you for sharing as I feel not so alone. Namaste 🙏🏻 ✨💜

Seems we have the same things which are energizing us, it‘s only singing which I can’t bring up as my voice brings a lot of potential along, replacing it instead with dancing thought ☺️

Fantastic!

Very bang on timely with this ‘work - joy’ conundrum. I loved the hiking example because it reminded me of other ‘aha’ moments when bliss broke through sweat and dirt and toil. Once on a terrifically hot hike - mostly uphill, shifting gravel below my feet, sweat pouring down face back and torso- I heavily pondered…. why am I putting myself through this? But I plunged on and rounding a vend, I saw the exhilarating vista that unfolded below me. A breeze tickled my wet brow, drying and cooling me. I bubbled up with a joy so intense it made tears fall. This was not possible without the work.
Thank you for this, gentle traveler

You DO make a difference, thank you! 💫💛