Vicarious Joy

Mudita is a Sanskrit word that translates as the sympathetic and vicarious joy for someone else’s good fortune. This track explores how we can express joy for what others receive whilst cultivating gratitude for what we already have.

Transcript

Hello everybody and welcome to another episode.

I am really excited to be recording this one,

This is a subject that I have been writing about for a couple of months now,

I've been wanting to put it out for ages but yeah I'm not feeling very motivated in this lockdown,

This third lockdown we're having in the UK,

I think a lot of people are feeling that at the moment motivation levels are low and I've decided to just not put the pressure on myself,

It's not necessary.

So I'm here,

I have a beautiful,

I think beautiful podcast written,

I'm very excited to share it and it's also a subject that I think is really important and one that we probably bypass and don't think it's relevant but it is and that is the concept of Mudita.

So you might not have heard of this word before,

It's a Sanskrit word that translates as the sympathetic and vicarious joy for someone else's good fortune and through this episode I'd like us to explore our learnt reactions to the successes of others and see how we can not only learn the ways in which we can express joy for what others have but also to express gratitude for what we already have.

The world we're living in is becoming increasingly challenging with far more noise,

More stimulation and more comparisons to other people's lives.

We've not evolved enough to obtain this level of information that we currently do and I believe technology and information and media,

It's evolved much quicker than we as humans have and with that we've seen increased levels of envy,

Jealousy and comparison in our day-to-day lives.

If we were to open up our social media and see a photo of our friends sitting on a sunny beach somewhere,

Sipping water out of a coconut,

Instead of thinking I'm so pleased for them,

We're more likely to think something along the lines of ugh.

We don't always use someone else's happiness as a source of our own,

Instead we feel envious,

But what if we began to see their happiness as ours?

Envy is arguably the most evil of emotions,

There are no positives to come out of feeling jealousy or envy,

It completely diminishes love.

In The Conquest of Happiness written by philosopher Bertrand Russell,

He writes,

Of all the characteristics of ordinary human nature,

Envy is the most unfortunate.

Not only does the envious person wish to inflict misfortune,

But he is also himself rendered unhappy by envy.

Whoever wishes to increase human happiness must diminish envy.

This quote is so profound because to feel envy is a choice,

But to feel love,

That's something that's encoded into our bones,

And love and envy are in no way compatible.

Weave the ability to enhance our experience of life and our wellbeing right here and right now with absolutely nothing but the power of our minds.

I've had many conversations in past with friends discussing goals and achievements,

Thinking happiness will be achieved once I have this thing,

Peace will be achieved once I have that thing,

Instead of simply soaking up all the good,

Beautiful life that's happening right now.

And this is also an extension of the belief that once we reach heaven after this life,

That's when the joy will begin.

But just as Sadguru says,

Do you have any proof that you are not already in heaven and messing it all up?

There's a short film on YouTube called The Neighbour's Window directed by Marshall Curry,

And this film is based on a true story that was first told on a radio show.

And it's a beautiful and simple film that tells the story of people comparing their own lives to one another,

To the lives that they're seeing through their neighbour's windows.

There's a married couple with three children and one on the way,

And they're watching a younger couple in the building opposite host parties and have wild and regular sex,

But the younger couple are also watching the married couple,

Wishing they could have more time to have children and create a life together,

As theirs is about to be cut short.

I'll leave the ending out for you in case you want to give it a watch,

But it's a really important reminder that many of us are comparing and wishing our lives were like someone else's.

It's examples like this that confirm the inextricable link between Mudita and practising gratitude and joy for what we already have.

So to feel happiness for others,

We must first look to ourselves and our own lives.

If we can find peace and gratitude for what we have,

There'll be no room or reason for jealousy.

According to researcher Brené Brown,

Joy is an incredibly vulnerable emotion.

That's why we'll so often counteract our own joy with a negative thought.

For example,

We could hold a loved one in our arms and suddenly fear losing them.

We could be offered a job we wanted and suddenly fear we won't be good enough.

We're so rarely let ourselves enjoy joy.

And if we can't enjoy our own good fortune,

How on earth are we meant to enjoy anyone else's?

Perhaps you can think of a time when something good happened to you and what negative thought came to your mind because of it.

Every scenario can change from being one in which we feel happy and excited to one where we feel anxious and fearful.

The power to change those thoughts lies within ourselves.

This is why practising daily gratitude for what we have is so important.

And I'd like you to take a moment here now to think about three things in your life that you're grateful for.

Just take a few moments,

Think of those three things,

Whoever or whatever they may be.

Allow yourself to step into your vulnerability and feel joy for having those three things that bring you so much gratitude.

Practice this every day,

Each morning or each evening,

Three things that you're grateful for.

Journaling is a really good way to reinforce this feeling too.

Something else that will help reinforce this feeling is also the language we use,

Not only by the way in which we talk to ourselves internally,

But also how we talk to and about others externally.

And if I ever find myself thinking,

I wish I had what they have,

I intercept these thoughts and exchange them for their positive counterparts.

For example,

I'm so happy for them or I'm grateful for everything that I have.

It's these small changes that will ingrain Mojita into a daily habit and a way of thinking.

And whilst we're on the topic of vocabulary,

According to the dictionary,

Empathy is the ability to share someone else's feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person's situation.

So why is it when we think of empathising,

We tend to associate it with only negative feelings?

Why not empathise with someone who's experiencing joy?

Mojita is positive empathy,

It's the ability to be able to share how someone else is feeling when they're feeling good.

Similar to a loving-kindness meditation,

I invite you to bring someone you truly love and care about to your mind.

Someone who it feels really easy to give your love and compassion to.

Someone you want to feel blissful happiness.

Perhaps a partner,

A child or a family member.

Whoever first came to your mind,

Hold them in your thoughts.

Maybe you could even visualise them there in front of you.

And direct these following words towards them.

You can say them out loud or repeat them in your head.

May you be happy and may you be free of suffering.

Really sink into this easy feeling of loving-kindness that you're holding for this person.

Imagine them laughing,

Imagine them peaceful,

Imagine them full of joy.

Now I invite you to think of someone you don't have any feelings for.

Someone you don't know particularly well.

If at all,

Someone you walk past in the street for example.

Now wish them the same thoughts that you just wished your loved one.

May you be happy and may you be free of suffering.

May you feel laughter and joy.

May you find peace and depth in your friendships and relationships.

May you create beautiful memories and experiences that will enrich your life.

May you love and trust and play.

Allow your loving-kindness towards them.

Be as effortless as it was for the first person that came to your mind.

And may you,

My dear friend listening,

Feel all those things too.

Because to feel joy for others is to feel joy for yourself.

And if we could all live harmoniously within ourselves first,

Imagine the effects that could have on us all as a collective.

Have a beautiful day my friends and I'll see you next time.

Reviews

This is an emotion I have energetically been grooming and courting into my life for a long time. I used to get sad looking at social medua of other’s glittery vacations or trips. But one time I really sat with that feeling and invited in the joy that they must be feeling w/their experiences. Slowly, ever so slowly I could begin to appreciate that feeling.
It is just like gratitude… the more we look around to see what we can be grateful gor in our day, the MORE there is to see. Thank you for this meditation dear lady. I am glad the Universe led me to you & you to Insight Timer.

Beautifully articulated and conveyed. Thank you 🙏

Love your accent!!! And such wisdom in this practice. Simply marvelous my new friend 🤣🙏💯

Beautiful words and a lovely warm voice. Loved listening to this!

A lovely reflection on feeling empathy for others’ joy and happiness, not just negative emotions 🙏🏼❤️

This is simply beautiful and thank you for teaching and reminding me about choosing JOY 🤩💗

So good. As I imagine the world shaped by your thoughts a deep sense of hope resonates from within.

That was awesome. Like antibiotics to fight the infection of envy. Thank you so much for this. Please can you write out the Sanksrit word 🙏🏼?

I am inspired by this concept and will carry it with me. 🙏

I love your kind words and sound advice! I will enjoy my day and I hope you do as well...

Love the topic! We rarely hear this and it is important.

Great reminder to have gratitude and be happy for others! Ty!

Well Done!
Excellent

I esp love your line:
„Love & Envy are bot compatible“

Thank you! I will listen to this again and again.

We are really trying to think and live this way. So true - but we think even more true after 2 years of a pandemic. We really don't know what is happening in the lives of others - so important to be kind!

Lovely, would think about empathy more on a positive note rather than compasion for when facing negative things, thank you. 🙏🏻💚

May you too be happy and free from suffering.
Thank you

Great voice, unobtrusive music..I love the sentiment. Fomo is soul sucking..I'm striving to be better

Really lovely and surprisingly helpful. Thank you for this 😊🙏🥰

Love the gentle tone and sincerity of this message. Thank you.