Hello,
And welcome to the Rejection Sensitivity Survival Guide,
A guided meditation for ADHD brains,
Or any brain that feels deeply and struggles with rejection.
Whatever brought you here,
Know you are not alone.
You are not too much or too sensitive.
You are responding in the best way your nervous system knows how,
And you have come to the right place.
Now,
If you've clicked on this meditation,
Chances are something has activated your nervous system.
Maybe something just happened,
A message,
A moment,
A memory that left you feeling rejected.
And that rejection,
Real or perceived,
Does not feel safe for your body.
When your body doesn't feel safe,
Your nervous system steps in to protect you.
And that state,
A state of protection,
Is what you are feeling right now.
If you are feeling tense,
Restless,
Or agitated,
Like you want to fight,
Argue,
Explain,
Or escape,
This is a sign your nervous system is in a sympathetic state,
Ready to fight or flight.
Or maybe you're feeling the opposite,
Heavy,
Numb,
Shut down,
Hopeless,
Depressed.
That's a sign you're in a dorsal vagal shutdown,
A state of collapse or withdrawal.
By the end of this practice,
Our aim is to gently guide you back into a place of calm,
Connection,
And grounded presence.
To do that,
We need to speak directly to your body,
To let it know it is safe.
So let's start there.
I invite you to bring your attention to your body.
Notice what is going on for you right now.
Maybe you're feeling heavy,
That foggy,
Frozen,
Depressed.
Maybe you're ruminating in really painful thoughts.
You're feeling stuck.
That's what a shutdown can feel like.
Your system has hit the brakes to protect you.
If that's where you are,
Just begin by noticing your surroundings.
Let your eyes wander,
Softly,
Slowly,
Take in what is around you.
Fix your eyes on something that is outside of you right now.
Maybe it is a pet,
A plant,
A tree in the window.
Maybe it's your couch.
It doesn't need to be a living object.
Just anything that will allow you to anchor into an energy outside of yourself.
Everything is energy.
Let your eyes gaze.
Let yourself co-regulate with this other being.
Let yourself feel how safe you are in this moment as you gaze around the room.
Maybe you gently press your feet into the floor.
Feel your hand resting on your leg.
Let yourself land here,
Softly.
If this exercise feels like it's serving you,
I invite you to keep going.
If you're feeling agitated,
Or restless,
Or full of energy,
Like your body wants to pace,
Or scream,
Or escape,
That's okay too.
That's what a fight or flight can feel like.
And if that's where you are,
Let's try moving that energy.
In the next minute or so,
We're going to play some music to support this movement.
If you're in a shut down state and it feels too much,
Go ahead and just turn the volume down and rejoin in a moment.
If you do feel like you have some energy to move,
Shaking can help your body release what it doesn't need to hold onto anymore.
If it feels okay,
Gently shake out your arms.
Let your wrists go loose.
Maybe bounce your knees.
Sway or stomp,
Wiggle.
Maybe you even want to get up on your feet.
Let your body move.
Choose what feels good for you in this moment to let some energy move through your body.
Let your body know it's safe to come down now.
Wherever you are,
Standing,
Sitting,
Lying down,
I invite you to place one hand on your body.
A place that feels neutral.
Maybe it's your chest,
Your belly,
Your arm.
And let's return to your breath.
Whether you are shaking or simply resting and noticing,
A place that feels neutral.
Maybe it's your chest,
Your belly,
Your arm.
Whether you are shaking or simply resting and noticing,
Let's come back to the breath.
Your breath is your anchor,
And it is one of the most powerful ways to speak directly to your body.
So let's just bring some attention to your breath.
Not trying to make any changes to it,
Manipulate it in any way.
Just let yourself breathe and bring your awareness to it.
Going with that,
Or if it feels right,
I invite you to try a 4-7-8 breath with me.
So we're going to inhale through the nose for 4,
We're going to hold at the top for 7,
And we're going to exhale slowly for 8.
Now the music is going to support you in carrying on these beats so that you don't have to think about the numbering.
Listen to the cue that's going to signal to you to move on to the next phase of the breath.
Okay,
So now returning back into your regular breath pattern.
Now that you're hopefully feeling a little bit more grounded,
A little bit back into your regulated state,
And feel free to rewind this recording to revisit any of the parts and how they might serve you.
And then when you're ready,
We're now going to move into a bit more of the thinking and the logic part of our brain,
And we're going to look at what's happening for you in this moment with your ADHD brain.
So ADHD,
It's not just about distraction or impulsivity.
It affects how we process emotions and threats.
Rejection sensitivity is a common part of ADHD.
It's not in your head,
It's in your body.
When something feels like rejection,
Even a small moment,
Like a delayed text,
Your brain might go into that black and white thinking.
You might be thinking,
They hate me,
I messed everything up,
I always ruin things.
This kind of all or nothing thinking is familiar and automatic to an ADHD brain.
And it's not because you're dramatic.
It's because your brain is scanning for danger based on old patterns and incomplete information.
The problem isn't you,
It's that your brain's interpretation of the situation might be distorted.
But you can learn to spot this,
You can name it,
And you can gently interrupt the story.
And that is what we're going to do now.
So,
Let's help your brain make sense of the situation that triggered your rejection sensitivity.
You might want to grab your journal for this.
You might want to just speak it out loud.
You might even want to pause this recording and ask a loved one that you feel safe with to listen to this part of the recording with you and talk these few questions out loud.
Now,
Ask yourself these four questions.
One,
What is the painful thought I'm having right now?
Feel free to pause the recording and really think this through.
The next question I invite you to ask yourself is,
What is the evidence that supports this thought?
So that might be anything that your brain wants to come up with as an explanation.
They didn't text me back.
They said these words to me.
Whatever information your brain is looping on to support this painful interpretation of the events.
The third question I invite you to explore is,
What is the evidence against this?
Are there other possibilities?
This is where I really invite you to look as objectively as you can at the situation.
Is there other times that you've proven to yourself that this isn't the case?
If your story is,
I'm stupid,
Can you think of evidence that proves that you're smart,
That you're capable?
And the last question I invite you to explore in this guided meditation and bring with you into the rest of your day is,
What is a more truthful version of this story?
If you take just the facts,
Just the evidence,
What would be a statement that feels still true,
But more kind,
Or maybe just more neutral?
If it feels okay,
And you're in a space that's okay to do this in,
I invite you to say this new thought out loud.
Let your body hear it.
Now,
We're coming to the end of this guided meditation,
And I want to remind you that you can come back here anytime,
Any moment when you're feeling activated,
Whether you need to shake,
To breathe,
To anchor into truth.
And the truth is this,
You are not broken,
You are not too much,
And you are not alone.
Thank you for being here.
Your tenderness is your strength,
And you are always welcome in this space.
