Allow, Soften, Soothe

This is a practice for bringing mindfulness and self-compassion to any stress you are feeling right now. Naming the emotion, locating it in your body, allowing it to be there, then softening around it and soothing its pain.

Transcript

Finding a comfortable position.

This might be sitting on the floor on a cushion or sitting in a chair.

You could even lay down for this meditation.

And taking a few deep breaths and as you do so placing your hand over your heart just to remind yourself to bring not just awareness but loving awareness to yourself and to your experience.

And now allowing yourself to bring to mind a mild to moderately difficult situation that you're in right now.

Perhaps a health problem,

Problem in a relationship,

Something that's causing you some tension right now,

Something that you're suffering about.

Not choosing a very traumatic situation and not choosing a trivial one.

Finding one where you can feel stress in your body,

Where you do feel stress in your body when you bring it to mind.

And clearly visualizing that situation,

Allowing yourself to feel what it's like to be in that situation.

Who was there?

What was said?

What happened?

What did you hear?

How did it make you feel?

Now that you're thinking about this situation seeing if you can name the different emotions that you feel when you think about this situation,

When you feel what it's like to be in this situation.

Are you feeling anger,

Sadness,

Grief,

Confusion,

Fear,

Longing,

Despair or shame?

Now seeing if you can name the strongest difficult emotion.

The strongest emotion associated with that situation.

And when you've found that strongest difficult emotion,

Repeating it to yourself in a very understanding way,

In the way you might validate it for a friend.

Oh you're feeling grief.

Oh that's shame.

Are you feeling sadness?

Now expanding your awareness to your body as a whole.

Recalling the difficult situation and scanning your body from head to toe and finding any points of tension in your body as you recall this situation.

Where are you feeling the tension around this situation in your body?

Now choosing a single location in your body where you feel that tension most strongly.

The place where that emotion expresses itself most strongly in your body.

This might feel like muscle tension,

Might feel like an empty feeling,

Like a heartache,

Might feel like a coldness.

And as you're getting in touch with that point of tension,

That place of tension in your body,

Inclining very gently,

Kindly,

Lovingly towards that place in your body that's suffering right now.

Being aware of that place in your body and expressing your concern for it in the way you might tend to a small child who is suffering.

And as you're bringing a kindly awareness to that place in your body,

Seeing if you can let go of any need for it to go away.

Can you allow that tension to be there even though it hurts?

Can you drop the fight,

Drop the resistance,

Simply allowing that difficult emotion to be there to inhabit your body even if just for a moment?

Now softening into that place of tension,

Of pain.

Gently relaxing,

Releasing the tension that's there.

We're not trying to make anything go away.

We're simply offering some comfort by way of softening,

Like bathing a sore muscle in warm water,

Holding pain in a warm towel or a warm embrace.

Softening.

And finally,

Soothing that part of your body that's holding that emotional tension.

You might like to put your hand over that part in your body that feels that tension or over your heart or on any other soothing place on your body.

Imagining kindness flowing from your hand into your body,

Getting in touch with your intention to be kind to yourself.

And maybe there are some words that you might say to a dear friend in order to soothe them.

Maybe,

I'm so sorry you feel this way.

I wish there was something I could do for you.

Maybe you can offer yourself these soothing words.

May I be kind to myself?

May I remember to care deeply for myself because I'm suffering?

Soothing yourself the way you might soothe a child who would hurt themselves.

Soothing.

And then very gently releasing the practice,

Knowing that you can come back to it anytime you'd like to.

When you're ready,

Opening your eyes,

Becoming aware of yourself in the room and being very gentle with yourself as you move about your day.

Reviews

This was wonderful. The concept of allowing and softening into was so useful. Thank you!

Beautiful! Awesome! This helped me so much!!! Thanks Kristy!!!🙏💚

😍

A wonderful, soothing time. I always appreciate her gentle voice and spirit.

Really warm tone of voice and nice pacing, thank you

I love how soft and slow your words were, leaving time in between to do what you were suggesting. Thank you

Very soothing, a great pause to offer yourself kindness!

Thanks very much for this very beautiful and soothing self compassion practice:)

Beautiful gentle and helpful practice ❤️🙏

very helpful self care meditation. it reminded me to accept and allow my emotions exactly where they are and to give myself a huge dose of loving kindness.

5 Stars. Recovering from fall on ice, broken bone, relearning walking. Yet not injury so much as isolation and life changes grief. This voice, these words, the intention of deeper healing than physical level are deeply solacing, softening where there was clenching and grief. Highly recommend for peace again.

This meditation connects me with the kindness and unity within. Thank you xx

A valuable and tolerable technique to engage with suffering. Thank you.

I find this very tender and moving. It helped me to access what is really going on for me. Thank you so much. 🙏

Really good. I was in need of some soothing and this delivered.

Thanks for the soothing tonic 🙏🏻

You are wonderful. What a kind and intelligent way to help us work through a difficult experience and compassionately come out the other side.
Thank you. Very helpful

Perfect for me today. The gentle approach really helped my anxiety. Thank you 🙏🏻 🌺

Lovely start to the day, thank you

Good to feel love flow through me to me. Peace, Love n Cheer!