Protective Self-Compassion Break

Protective Self Compassion Break: This is a version of the Self Compassion Break aimed at engendering fierce self-compassion in the service of self-protection and is manifested as brave, empowered, clarity.

Transcript

This is a version of the self-compassion break that is aimed at engendering fierce self-compassion in the service of self-protection,

Which manifests as brave,

Empowered clarity.

So you may want to go ahead and close your eyes,

Get comfortable in your body.

And I'd invite you to think of a situation in your life where you feel the need to protect yourself.

Right?

Maybe stand up to someone or draw some boundaries.

For instance,

Maybe you're being taken advantage of by someone,

Or someone's trying to push their political views onto you and you don't like it.

Right?

So please choose a situation where you feel mildly to moderately annoyed or threatened.

I've put out in real danger so that we can learn the skill without overwhelming ourselves.

So call it the situation in your mind's eye.

If you can,

Try not to focus too much on the person causing the situation,

But rather focus on the harm itself.

Right?

What's happening?

What's going on?

And try to allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come up for you,

Fear,

Anger,

Frustration.

And now see if you can really drop the story of what's happening and just contact that is comfort as a physical sensation in your body.

Right?

Allowing these sensations to be there.

Now,

Please embody a posture of strength.

So sitting up,

Rolling your shoulders back,

Feeling your power in your body.

And so I'd like you to say a series of phrases to yourself.

You can do this silently or aloud.

Designed to bring in the three components of self-compassion in active,

Protective form.

Right?

Remember,

This manifests as fierce,

Empowered clarity.

So first we want to find language to help us be mindful of what's happening.

Right?

And we want to have that clarity.

So focusing on the harm,

Again,

Rather than the person causing the harm,

Say to yourself slowly with conviction something like,

You know,

I clearly see the truth of what's happening and it's not okay.

Or you know,

This person is crossing a line.

Or maybe this is unfair.

Just see if you can find words that seem right for you in your situation to really,

Again,

Bring mindful clarity to what's happening.

And so with the second phrase,

We want to bring in,

Again,

The empowerment that comes when we remember our common humanity.

Right?

So we can draw strength from others while protecting ourselves.

So maybe saying something like,

I'm not alone in this.

Other people experience this also.

Or maybe something like,

You know,

By standing up for myself in this situation,

I'm going to stand up for everyone.

Or maybe something like,

You know,

Me too.

Right?

Really feeling your connection,

Calling attention to your connection with others.

And now put a fist over your heart if you like as a gesture of strength and bravery.

Feeling that fist.

See if you can commit to being kind to yourself by keeping yourself safe.

That's a kindness.

So perhaps asserting confidently something like,

You know,

I will stand up for myself.

Or I will not yield.

Or I'm strong enough to take this on.

I can say no.

Just whatever feels right to you.

And if you're having difficulty finding the right words,

You might imagine what you might say to someone who you really cared about,

Who is going through a similar situation as you.

You know,

What would you say to this person to help them be strong,

To stand tall,

To have courage?

Can you offer a similar message to yourself?

And finally,

Put your other hand over your fist so that you're holding your fist tenderly.

The invitation is to combine the fierce energy of brave,

Empowered clarity with the tender energy of self-compassion,

The nurturing energy.

You're giving yourself full permission to feel the force of your resolve,

Your truth,

Maybe your anger even.

We also want to let this force be caring.

Remember that we're aiming this fierce compassion at the situation,

At the threat or the harm itself,

Not at the person causing the harm.

You know,

They are still human and just like you're human.

So can you call on your fierceness to commit to taking action to protect yourself without dehumanizing the person causing the situation?

So still keeping the threat of love alive.

See if you can let these fierce and tender energies just mingle in your body.

So you may be feeling a little activated right now.

And so if that's the case,

Just ask yourself,

You know,

What do you need to take care of yourself and make sure you do so.

Thank you.

Reviews

Absolutely wonderful! Thank you, Kristin, for this guidance for both tender and fierce Self
compassion and protection. I appreciate the steps and clarity.

Great meditations

Very helpful to remember that compassion can be fierce.

Wow. This was so much more than I was hoping to find. This was incredibly insightful and empowering. Thank you.

I think keeping the thread of love alive is a function of how Mancini the person has been. I still of course respect their humanity. But if they are still a real thread I will maintain more of a peaceful neutrality toward them, anchored in the strength of boundaries, and that is the most safe form of compassion in my experience. I think this distinction is important because our society in general is becoming more cruel, more disconnected

Powerful I would have liked a few ideas on self care afterwards as this was very activating. Thank you!

Amazing as always. Thank you for your compassion and your work, Kristin <3

Thank you 🙏

This brings a nurturing and strengthening clarity to difficult situations

Thank you so much. The combination fietce and compassionate, without losing sight of the humanity of the other person resonates strongly with me. It allows me to breathe.

Wonderful meditation. Thank you.

It was great! thanks!

Just what I needed. Dealing with a major disapointment today, and listening to this guided track helped to ease the intensity and alow me to move forward with my day. Holding my fist at my heart, then holding my fist with Love and nurturence was very powerful and effective. Thank you!!! 🌸

An empowering meditation, thank you 🙏❤️

Beautiful - just the balance I need. Thank you!

Ah, so helpful. Thank you Kristin.

Worked very well to help me face a particular situation! I am very calm now.

Excellent! Thank you.

Kristin Neff is an enlightened spiritual guide. And a dang good professor!

Very helpful, helped me reaffirm my decision to estrange a former abuser