Giving And Receiving Compassion

In this meditation, compassion for self and others is balanced and integrated. It is related to tonglen, but instead of breathing in the suffering of others, we breathe in compassion for ourselves and exhale compassion for others. It is a very healing and connecting practice.

Transcript

So closing your eyes and settling into a comfortable posture.

Either sitting or lying down.

Getting home to your body.

So noticing perhaps the feeling of your feet on the floor.

Or your seat on the cushion.

And noticing any internal sensations that may be arising right now.

You may notice the beating of your heart.

Or feelings of pulsing energy.

And then to remind ourselves that we aren't just bringing awareness to our experience but loving,

Kind awareness.

I'd invite you to adopt some physical gesture that represents this caring attitude.

Perhaps putting both hands on your heart and feeling the warmth of your hands.

Noticing how your body responds to the physical touch.

And you can leave your hands here for the entire meditation if you like or put them back down at your side.

It's up to you.

Now I'd invite you to move your attention to your breath.

Perhaps at first taking a few deep breaths.

Big inhalation.

And exhalation.

Allowing yourself to release as you exhale.

Then letting your breathing return to a normal,

Natural rhythm.

And your mind will probably wander immediately.

And if it does,

If you notice it has wandered,

Simply call back your attention with the same quality you might use with a little puppy dog who's wandered off.

Gently ushering it back to where it needs to be in the moment.

So again,

Just letting your awareness rest in your breath.

Breathing in and breathing out.

And then paying particular attention to the in-breath.

Noticing that as you breathe in,

You're giving yourself what you need in the moment.

You're nurturing yourself with each in-breath.

And perhaps if you are aware of any way in which you're struggling right now,

You may breathe in some other quality that you need.

Kindness.

Love.

Compassion.

Breathing in this quality of each in-breath.

And perhaps you might find that there's a word that rests easily on each in-breath.

A word that represents what you need.

Or perhaps it's just more Jamola,

A warm golden light,

A quality of warmth.

But allowing yourself to really receive with each in-breath something good for yourself.

And then releasing your focus on the in-breath and switching to the out-breath.

And as you breathe out,

Bringing to mind someone you know or are aware of who is struggling right now and who needs compassion.

Bringing an image of this other to arise in your mind's eye.

And directing your out-breath to this other.

Seeing this other person,

What they need in the moment.

Kindness.

Love.

Compassion.

And again,

This may take the form of a word that gently rides on your out-breath.

Or else simply a feeling of warmth.

Or perhaps an image.

A golden light.

But with each out-breath,

Sending something good to this other who is also struggling.

And then bringing both together.

Acknowledging that you as a human being struggle as does this other.

So breathing in for yourself.

Breathing in something good for yourself.

Compassion.

Kindness for yourself.

But then with each out-breath,

Breathing out for the other.

In and out.

One for me.

One for you.

In for me.

And out for you.

And out for you.

And if your mind starts to wander,

You can refresh the image of yourself in your mind's eye or the other.

Perhaps again putting your hands on your heart to physically connect you with the sensation of care.

But breathing in the ease of compassion for yourself.

And out the ease of compassion for the other.

If at any point you feel that maybe you need a little more,

Your attention is drawn to some of your own struggle or suffering.

Feel free to breathe in more for yourself,

To focus more on yourself.

Perhaps three for me,

One for you.

Or conversely,

If the other is drawing your attention more strongly,

You can focus more in the out-breath,

Sending the other the compassion they need.

Or else just letting your breath be an equal,

Easy flow.

In and out.

Like the waves of an ocean.

In and out.

A limitless,

Boundless ocean.

Enough for me and enough for you.

An ocean of compassion.

Letting yourself be free.

Letting yourself be fully absorbed by the breath.

Breathing in and breathing out.

Compassion in.

Compassion out.

No limits or boundaries.

You can hold your own suffering fully.

Letting the suffering of this other.

Feeling it ride like the waves of an ocean.

In and out.

And if other beings come to mind,

Or suffering,

Or even groups of beings,

Peoples,

From this place of limitless,

Boundless compassion,

You can breathe out for them as well.

But always including yourself with each in-breath.

No need for separation.

Letting this ocean hold all suffering in love and compassion.

And then releasing your focus on the breath and on the practice.

Simply coming back to your body.

Letting yourself to feel whatever it is you're feeling in this moment.

To be exactly as you are.

Letting yourself be fully absorbed by the breath.

Reviews

I love this practice. I’ve done it many times - the one that is guided by you - this recording and the one guided by Chris Germer. It is profound and beautiful and brings utmost peace. Thank you so much! 🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻

Beautiful meditation. Many thanks Kristen. 🙏☮️🌍

Such a beautiful meditation. I appreciate that she gives options, as well

A lovely practice full of compassion. Thank you Kristin

Perfect timing for the space in my life at the moment. Grateful. Namaste.

This really helped me have compassion for myself and a friend who’s going through a lot. 🙏

Love this give and receive guided meditation. Compassionate tender way to breath one for me one for you. Thank you Kristin Neff ❤️

Simply, thank you.

A lovely take on loving kindness meditation. Will definitely come back to this one. Thank you 🙏

"One for me, one for you." What a beautiful conception of tonglen! I feel so connected to those in my life and equally restored by my own self-love. Thank you for this beautiful practice.

Thank you - the meditation reminds to step back from fixing. Compassion is the foundation of my practice and my being, what a gift you give the world, Kristen Neff.

This soft and healing meditation feels so good. Thank you, namasté

Great take. Ty Kristin.
Professor, may you be happy, healthy, safe and live with ease.

Just what I needed. Thanks! 💗

Calming and gentle. Very soothing. Thank you.

Beautiful meditation 🙏❤️

Beautiful! Thanks 🙏 just what I needed

Lovely. Thank you 😊

Really enjoyed this. Connected v strongly with it 🙏🏻❤️