Balance Isn't Real

In this thought-provoking episode, the focus is on challenging the conventional idea of balance and delving into the deeper pursuit of harmony. Through insightful discussion, the episode explores the notion that achieving perfect equilibrium might be an unattainable goal. Instead, the emphasis is placed on the importance of striving for harmony in various aspects of life. By shifting the perspective from balance to harmony, listeners are encouraged to embrace the fluidity and interconnectedness of different elements, ultimately leading to a more holistic and fulfilling approach to life's challenges and complexities.
Please note: This track may include some explicit language.

Transcript

Welcome to the Embodying Greatness Podcast.

I am Chris Delgado,

Transformational trainer,

Educator,

And worthiness coach.

And you have found the place to be for getting real tips,

Tools,

And strategies that inspire and empower you to rise up to the frequency of transformation while you step into your self-worth and self-value.

And I want to personally invite you to listen to my no BS approach on how to embody your greatness by taking this self-love journey together.

Hello,

Hello,

What is up?

Welcome to the Embodying Greatness Podcast.

My name is Chris Delgado,

And this is episode 11.

This week,

I want to talk about balance.

I want to talk about what it is,

What it is not,

And how I personally believe balance ultimately isn't even achievable.

A lot of my clients put so much pressure on themselves,

Or even worse,

They judge themselves and feel bad about themselves because they can't quote,

Unquote,

Find balance.

And I hear all the time that they think that they're supposed to find this work-life balance thing,

And then if they achieve it,

They're somehow going to find the keys to life or the secret to life.

But instead of finding the secret to waking up early,

Working out,

Making a great breakfast,

Getting the kids off to school,

Going to work and kicking ass there,

Having family time,

Having alone time,

Having me time for just me and my partner,

Having a great social life,

All of those things,

We feel exhausted and like we're constantly juggling.

Then ultimately,

Everything can come crashing down any second.

So I know that some of you are resonating with this,

So keep listening because,

Again,

I personally believe that balance is nonexisting.

I personally believe that balance doesn't exist.

So what's interesting is that as human beings,

We are made to want to have quiet moments.

We are made to want to have stillness.

And at the same time,

We're also made to be social creatures.

So if we're designed to want these things,

Which seemingly are totally opposites of themselves,

Then how do we strike this balance and have it all?

We don't.

I believe when most people say that they want balance,

What they really mean is they want harmony.

We want to find peace.

We want to feel grounded and centered,

Like I'm capable of what I'm doing and that I'm confident in the work that I'm doing and that there's value in what I bring to the table,

No matter which table I'm sitting at.

So the definition of the word balance is an even distribution of weight,

Enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.

That's what I found when I Googled the definition of balance,

Indicating that if we don't achieve balance,

We are unsteady,

Or in other words,

We don't have our shit together.

So I want you to think of it like a pie chart.

Each slice of the pie,

If we're trying to achieve balance,

Should,

In theory,

Be equal.

We have our family slice,

Our career slice,

Our children's slice,

The relationship slice,

The me time slice,

The social life,

All of those,

Right?

Those are all equal sizes of the pie,

Which,

By the way,

I want to say,

The first slice of that pie to always go is the me slice and the filling up my own cup,

Which is not okay,

But again,

That will be a different conversation,

Different podcast.

So in reality,

Do we really want each slice of the pie to be equal sizes?

Because I know that I don't.

Life is going to always life,

Meaning that we deal with different events,

Different situations every single day.

Now,

Over the past few months,

Most of you who know me know that my father was really sick and was coming to the end of his life.

If I would have tried to give equal parts to him and equal parts to my career,

Equal parts to my son,

Equal parts to my social life,

Equal parts to my relationship,

During those final weeks,

I would have missed something with him.

When I'm in a training,

For those of you who know me as a trainer,

These trainings are pretty intense.

They're five-day immersive trainings that require my 100% attention for 12 hours a day.

So of course,

When I'm in a training,

Then the other slices of my pie are going to have to be smaller during those weeks than when I'm not in a training.

So it's okay,

And I want you to hear this,

It's okay to give more attention to one area of your life if that particular area needs to be a priority.

And then if that part of your pie needs to be a bigger slice,

Then automatically that means that another piece has to be smaller.

That's harmony.

That is understanding the concept of flowing and knowing that I'm going to direct my energy,

Intentionally direct my energy where it is needed,

Because in this moment,

This is my priority.

This is more important to me,

And I'm choosing to have this slice of the pie be bigger for now.

So I hope that's making sense.

Or if you are a new parent and you have a newborn,

Of course you're going to spend more hours of your day focusing on the newborn than you probably would focus on,

Or that I would focus on,

Because my child's 32 years old and lives in the Bronx,

Right?

So sometimes those pieces of the pie get smaller and bigger as needed.

That's working in harmony.

Or think of it like this,

With a scale.

In order to have the scale be even or balanced,

You have to make sure that there's equal weight on both sides of it.

But in the moment one side has more weight,

It automatically becomes unbalanced or unsteady.

So now I essentially have to stop everything else I'm doing and go quickly try to put more weight over on the other side.

While I'm doing that,

Now the other side of the scale is tipped,

And we go back and forth,

Back and forth,

Running around,

Becoming mentally exhausted,

Becoming physically exhausted,

Because we are trying to achieve something,

And it's impossible.

Now we're going to spend so much time and energy focusing on trying to balance out those both sides of the scale.

And then when they do get balanced,

We have to pause.

We have to be still.

We can't do anything,

Because the moment we walk away from it,

One side's going to be heavier and tip over.

So again,

I hope that this is making sense.

If you're getting anything out of this podcast,

I want you to get this.

It is unnecessary to try to have equal parts of everything all the time.

I'll say that again.

Write this down if you are in a place where you can write this down or come back to it.

It is unnecessary to try to have equal parts of everything all of the time.

It is mentally exhausting,

And you're always going to feel like some area is lacking or that you could do better in one of those areas or those domains.

So I want you to give yourself permission to flow with life and be in harmony of your life and the events that happen,

And give yourself a break instead of running around trying to achieve something that we don't even really want.

I know when I'm on vacation,

I do not want my work slice of the pie to be as big as my vacation slice of the pie.

I'm doing that on purpose.

When I'm on a vacation or when I'm out on a date with my partner,

I don't want to think about work.

I don't really want to think about my family.

When I'm with my family,

I don't want to think about work.

When I'm at work,

I want to be all in at work,

And I'm not going to think about anything else.

Understanding and shifting our mindset into having our life work in harmony with the events and situations that come up,

Because life is lifing,

It's always going to happen.

Understanding that we get to flow and be in that as it's happening takes so much pressure off of us.

So again,

I want to be really clear that this is my personal opinion.

And for those of you who are getting coached by me or who ever have been in my trainings,

You already know that I don't believe balance is achievable.

We say F balance.

What we're striving for is harmony.

What we really want is peace,

Peace of mind.

We want to feel grounded.

We want to feel centered.

We want to feel like even if we mess up,

It's going to be okay to mess up.

And then we just get back up,

We dust ourselves off,

And we keep moving forward.

Balance to me is this never ending mystery,

And it doesn't have to be.

So again,

I want you to give yourself permission to flow with life,

Be in the harmony of your life,

And the events that happen and give yourself a break,

Give yourself grace,

Have compassion for yourself.

It's okay to make certain things a priority and knowing that when something is a priority,

Something else has to be on the back burner.

That's the ebb and flow of life.

Instead of running around on a hamster wheel,

Trying to attain something that is not attainable.

I wanted to keep this podcast short and sweet this week.

I hope this resonates with you.

If you are new to the podcast,

Please make sure that you subscribe.

Please rate this and listen,

Share this with somebody.

If you know somebody who is struggling with trying to find a work-life balance,

Send this to them.

Let them know that it's okay to stop.

Let's shift our thinking,

Let's shift our languaging,

And really step into being in harmony with all aspects of our life.

So listen,

If you're new to the podcast,

Make sure that you subscribe,

Make sure that you rate this,

Share this with somebody that you know is struggling with a work-life balance.

If you know anyone that talks about not being able to find a balance,

Send this to them.

Let's shift our mindset,

Let's shift our languaging,

And really step into being in harmony with the ebbs and flows of our life.

Be in harmony,

Be okay with having everything work together instead of the either or of balanced work and balanced life.

Okay,

We don't have to have either ors in our life.

We can have both and lifestyles.

Anyway,

That's all I have for you today.

I know that I covered a lot in this episode.

I hope that you enjoyed it.

I hope that you learned something new.

If you want to keep exploring these topics,

Please be sure to subscribe and stay up to date on all of these episodes.

Conversation doesn't have to end here.

Share your thoughts.

If you want to connect with other people in my community,

Connect with me.

If you have any topics that you want me to dive into,

Please reach out to me and let me know.

I would love to cover them.

And until next time,

Let's keep learning and growing and exploring the world around us together.

And I'm gonna end this like I do every week.

So remember,

You are in charge of your happiness.

So go out and create something amazing today just because you say so.

♪♪♪

Reviews

Hi Kris! I really enjoyed your talk, but don’t completely agree. I love the philosophical concept of Both/And. You can cultivate dynamic balance - or homeodynamic- balance while also practicing radical acceptance of where you are and what you want - of Life’s contexts. No need to push away the magnetism of balancing. Too much energy!! It’s like learning to sit in the center of the wheel while the world spins on the spokes. But I agree that it is unnecessary to have or force equality in aspects of life that are not presently significant!! Thank you 🙏🏼