Setting Goals That Stick

This is a reflective journaling practice designed to help you identify your values and to set goals that are aligned with your integrity. In this practice, you'll also reflect on and plan for any obstacles that may hinder your progress so that you are equipped to begin on your path with all the tools needed for success!  

Grab a pen and paper and get ready to start working towards your dreams!

Transcript

Hello,

My name is Kelly Williams and I'm a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach.

I work with people on a wide range of goals from physical to financial to emotional well-being,

And goal setting is one of my personal and professional favorite things to do.

This time of year,

Many of us are reflecting on our values and desires for the year to come.

While New Year's isn't the only time we can make resolutions,

It is certainly a popular time for us collectively.

But so many of us have experienced resolution dropout.

We start off going strong in January,

And as the year progresses,

We slowly or abruptly slack off and sometimes quit completely.

So why don't we stick to our goals?

Well,

There are lots of reasons,

But the most common reasons are that we set unrealistic expectations and become discouraged when we don't see the progress we want.

We fail to give ourselves grace for the moments when we backslide and then throw in the towel.

We aren't clear about the goal and the steps that we need to take so we don't actually make any discernible progress.

Or we set goals that don't align with our personal values.

This recording is a journaling slash active reflection exercise to help you uncover and understand your own values and motivations,

To clearly identify achievable steps to take to reach your goals,

And to help you think ahead about ways to overcome the potential obstacles that you may encounter along your path.

I highly encourage you to have a pen and paper or your preferred way of recording your answers nearby.

In the interest of time,

I have allotted about one minute between questions.

You will likely need more time with many of the questions,

So please pause the track as needed.

And if you're like me,

Sometimes I need to steep in my personal inquiries for a while in order to really unearth my truth,

So writing the questions down so that you have them or coming back to the recording later may also be helpful.

Let's start with bringing to mind some positives from the past year.

What went well for you over the past year?

This could be goals that were successfully reached or progress or connections made,

And it could also be things that aren't specifically related to goals but feel like they went smoothly or helped you in some way.

What accomplishments are you most proud of?

What are you most grateful for in the past year?

Our brains tend to tell us that we are lacking.

Lacking resources,

Lacking love,

Lacking skills.

This is hardwired into our circuitry,

And in caveman times,

It actually did help us to survive.

Unfortunately,

Nowadays it tends to hinder us more than it helps us.

Summoning feelings of gratitude sends signals to the brain and the heart that tell us to relax and to feel positive emotions.

Focusing on what we're grateful for not only makes us feel good,

It actually opens our minds to see that we are often more abundant than we thought.

This is called a growth mindset,

And being in a growth mindset enables us to be more creative in finding opportunities to propel us forward and helps us to reframe the times when our attempts are unsuccessful.

Instead of failure,

We see feedback.

I have several gratitude meditations posted if you're having a hard time summoning thankfulness,

And I invite you to check them out later.

But for now,

Back to the original question.

What are you most grateful for in the past year?

And the final question in this section.

In the past year,

What did you learn about yourself through your successes and failures that you can use positively in the next year?

This could be a knowledge of what strategies work best for you,

Ways of clearly expressing yourself,

Or anything else that comes to mind.

Now let's take a look at personal values and motivation.

Being clear about our values helps us to clarify our why.

Why have we set this particular goal?

This is an essential part for both personal growth and for maintaining our motivation.

Does your goal align with your personal values,

Or are you trying to fit into someone else's mold?

When our goals are more important to someone else than they are to us,

It's a recipe for disappointment on many levels.

Some examples of this could be weight loss or personal appearance goals,

Meeting specific criteria for financial success,

Or even seeking specific educational accolades or accomplishments,

Among others.

If your goal is in alignment with your values,

You'll find it much easier to maintain motivation.

And if you find that you've set a goal to meet someone else's expectations,

I offer you the perspective that perhaps this is the opportunity to shift your strategy and to look at how to support your own well-being.

With this in mind,

Let's take a look at personal values.

Take a moment to reflect on the following questions.

What in life do you consider most important?

What gives your life purpose and meaning?

What makes you feel fulfilled?

Now keeping the answers to those questions in mind,

Let's get into the nitty-gritty of goal setting.

Think about what values you want to enlist and grow over the next three to five years.

Is it bettering your health and fitness,

Fostering deeper relationships,

Strengthening your financial security,

Or something else?

Now consider what's your core motivation for doing so.

These answers could overlap some.

For example,

If you're setting a fitness goal,

It could be so that you increase your overall health,

Which will allow you to be more engaged with your children or grandchildren,

Thereby strengthening those relationships.

And finally,

How will your goal deepen your connection to others?

All goals apply here.

Being in the best place we can be for ourselves,

Whether it's physically,

Financially,

Emotionally,

Or otherwise,

Enables us to be more present and to better support those around us.

And with those answers in mind,

What do you feel you want to turn into a goal to work on over the next three to five years?

Let's write it all down to make it concrete.

Start with your long-term goal for the next three to five years.

Take a moment now to write down just your goal,

And then let's consider what medium-term goals you would need to accomplish in the next six to twelve months to move you toward the long-term goal.

Take a moment now to write down these medium-term goals.

And finally,

What short-term goals or steps over the next two to six months would best propel you forward towards your medium and long-term goals?

No progress is directly linear.

We all experience hiccups as we work towards our goals.

Planning ahead for what might get in the way helps us to have tools at the ready to manage hurdles and to help us remember that it's perfectly human and okay to backslide from time to time.

With this in mind,

Take a moment to consider what obstacles could possibly get in your way and jot them down.

Be honest with yourself as you do this.

There's no judgment here,

Only planning.

Then consider the concrete strategies you can use to navigate obstacles when they arise.

It's helpful to think about what's worked well for you in the past and what resources you have to help you.

What people in your life can you enlist to give you a much-needed pep talk or to hold you accountable?

Building in time to rest and recuperate can help keep us from burning out.

Could that be a helpful approach for you?

How can you incorporate intentional rest into your goal?

Many people find that writing their goals down and placing them somewhere visible is a good reminder to stay focused.

Is there a place where you could keep your goals visible?

When we inevitably fall off track and feel like giving up,

Recalling our why is an excellent way to bring the goal back into focus.

It's helpful to have our values and motivations written down to reference when we become frustrated and want to give up.

I invite you to take a moment now to recall the answers you wrote a few minutes ago about your motivations and consider having them somewhere that's easy for you to access when you feel your motivation slipping.

What else can you think of that could help you navigate hurdles between you and your goal?

What other supports and resources and strategies do you have that I haven't mentioned?

And now for the final question,

A very important and overlooked step in the goal-setting process.

How will you celebrate your accomplishments,

Big and small?

Celebrating our successes is so important.

Culturally,

We've been programmed to believe that celebrating ourselves is boastful or arrogant,

But celebrating our success increases the confidence we have in ourselves to complete our goals.

Celebration also stimulates the release of dopamine in our brains,

Which is the reward or feel-good neurotransmitter,

And this makes us more likely to continue the behavior that is moving us forward.

When we celebrate,

We end up being happier,

More productive,

More skilled,

And find the positives in our lives and are more likely to meet our goals.

Celebrations don't have to be big.

They can be anything that's meaningful to you.

In fact,

Revisiting your values may be a helpful way to plan celebrations that truly reinforce your goals.

Maybe that means a night out with your friends,

Trying something you've never done before,

Getting a massage,

Or taking a hike in your favorite spot in nature.

Anything goes here.

Be as creative as you like.

Take a moment now to consider some ways that you might celebrate your successes.

Whatever your goals,

Big,

Small,

Or in between,

And regardless of whether you meet them or adjust them,

I hope that you use this process as an opportunity for personal growth,

To deepen your relationship with yourself,

And to witness the amazing being that you are.

Thank you for listening.

Love and light from my heart to yours.