A really great question came in,
How do I know if something happened to me that was a traumatic event if I don't remember it happening?
The reason this is a great question and the reason we need to ask ourselves this.
So Jacqueline sent in this really great question,
How can I be sure that something happened to me if I don't actually remember the details?
Now usually somebody is asking me this question because they are noticing that they have strange responses to things and this can happen for all of us,
All kinds of ways.
We can act in certain ways or have certain behaviors that trigger or flag for us that this isn't usual and something might have happened and I can't tell you how many people have this experience but it's a lot.
And something that's really important to know,
That if we start to feel this way,
It's so simple to begin to project ideas about what might have happened to us.
And those projected ideas can traumatize us and begin to make the world seem very scary and begin to undermine our own sense of confidence.
So something I really want to point out to you is that the body itself has a memory and it's a very reliable memory.
It's the memory that you're going to need to go to.
So when the body is ready,
It will present all of its information and we can trust that.
We don't have to go in there and start digging and projecting to figure out what was going on.
And this is key because we have a world where people are constantly projecting sexual harassment or sexual abuse and we can't prove it.
It's going into courts.
We're seeing it all over the world.
And on the flip side,
What we're seeing in the world with especially the horrifying events of Bill Cosby,
Things like this,
Where women don't remember these events and it did happen to them and it puts us in this really scary place.
So the key here is that your body holds a memory.
We don't have to use any kinds of mental projections or therapeutic assumptions.
Lots of times when we go to therapy,
Behavior A plus behavior B therefore must equal behavior C.
Thank you very much,
Freud,
For that really unuseful contribution to the whole movement here.
So what we want to know is how can we access the body memory?
First off,
The body is only going to tell us when it's ready.
That means that you have the emotional and psychic space available for that memory and it's appropriate and we can trust that.
The other thing is as soon as you bring your awareness into the body and you just need to pay attention to areas that are particularly sore or dense or tight or contracted,
When you bring your own awareness right to those sensations with a very open willingness to listen to what might be there,
It doesn't take long for information to start to arise.
Emotionality starts to come out.
There's all kinds of storylines that start to come up and if we don't follow them and begin to get scared and contracty and there,
But we stay very open and willing to hear,
The body will show you and tell you what's going on.
Across the board,
I have never worked with anyone and I've worked with hundreds,
Thousands of people all over the world that couldn't access their own body memory when the timing was right and we can trust that.
So your body holds the memory.
When the time is right,
Your body will tell you the memory.
All you need to do is be willing to listen and then we can get rid of all the scary projected stories and the digging around and it's useful for you to know that we're weird.
Human beings are weird.
We have weird responses to things.
So if you're responding in a strange or odd manner,
It doesn't necessarily mean there's some kind of trauma in there.
It can just be your unique wiring and the more willing you are to listen and pay attention,
Be very compassionate to yourself,
The more you're going to get behind what's actually going on.
