An angry tirade or a temper tantrum,
Well,
We've all been there,
Except it's really terrible when the focus of it is all pointed towards you.
So let's talk about how you can navigate that with some more sanity.
I'm Kiran,
And when your spouse is in the middle of an angry tirade or some kind of a temper tantrum,
There's a couple of things that's really helpful to keep in mind.
Something to firstly consider is that it's okay.
They don't have to be happy.
In fact,
It's totally okay that they're freaking out.
Now,
This is a hard one,
And we usually want to jump in really quickly and feel like we could somehow solve it or somehow change their mood or state.
But the first thing we really need to recognize is it's okay.
A freakout is a freakout.
Freakouts happen to the best of us.
Freakouts happen.
And it's okay.
We don't have to not freak out.
The next thing to keep in mind is don't take it on.
This is part of that,
You don't have to make it all better.
You can actually just step to the left.
Sometimes that means leaving altogether,
Walking out or moving somewhere.
Now,
You don't do this angry because you'll just fire that temperade,
But just quietly walk away.
I have a good friend who occasionally,
If I lose it,
He simply holds the phone away or he'll turn his back and walk into another room.
And this is awesome.
And I highly recommend you do it.
The reason it's awesome,
It's a gift.
Because when your partner comes sane,
And they're trying to pick up all the pieces,
Not having hurt you is one of the great gifts.
And we all know that because we've all been there.
We've all had a temper tantrum ourselves,
And it sucks.
And we come to and we're making apologetic brownies or apologetic hugs.
And if they weren't harmed in the process,
It's a wonderful thing.
So you being able to take care of yourself and not take it on is a great gift.
And lastly,
Don't try to solve and don't try to make it better until they're sane.
Wait until there's some moderate level of sanity before you communicate,
Before you get centered,
Before the two of you figure out where the impasse is or what really needs to change or what needs to be different.
Don't attempt to make any of this communication happen when your spouse is in a tirade.
Because sanity is the only place you can find clarity.
If you're engaged in this temper tantrum or tirade,
You're not going to get any clarity.
So don't even try.
And that will make it painful,
And then there'll be this engagement of more fight.
So just don't even try to solve it until the person,
Until your loved one gets clear.
So I'd love to know what hooks you.
I'd love to know what happens that you feel like you need to make it better,
Or what triggers inside of you when you feel like you need to show up and be held responsible for this temper tantrum that's happening.
Every one of us is unique,
And there's really unique ways that we get triggered and we feel like we have to be there for this other person when they're in this place.
So I'd love to hear from you what that is.
You can just fill it in the comments below.
It's a great conversation.
And I'd love it if you wanted to share your voice and share your stories,
Because together peace and freedom is a little easier.
