Hello,
Beautiful ones.
I'm Kelly Dennis.
Thank you for joining me today for this talk and meditation.
We're going to talk about building mindful resilience today.
And so mindfulness we know is paying attention to the present moment on purpose without judgment.
And resilience is your ability to be able to recover from distressing things or things that knock you down.
And so we're going to put the two of those together today.
So some things that help you to be able to be resilient are having nurturing relationships,
Finding meaning in difficulty,
Soaking in the good experiences in a mindful way,
Becoming more decisive instead of letting other people decide for you,
Accepting change,
Which can be very hard.
But one of the main ways that we can develop resilience is through mindful present moment awareness.
One of the things that often trips us up is when we feel like we failed.
We can get caught in beating ourselves up,
Negative thinking,
Leading to some destructive behavior sometimes.
So it's important to be able to develop the ability to think about failures or mistakes in a different way.
And also the same thing applies to success.
Sometimes we minimize it too much.
And so being able to be mindful of both your success and your failure can help you to be able to be more balanced and an observer of your internal experience.
So I'd like to take you through a meditation today that'll kind of help you to begin to explore your successes and your failures.
So go ahead and get into a comfortable position with your head,
Neck,
And spine straight,
Or whatever position feels good for you.
And when it feels good to do so,
You can close your eyes.
Or if that doesn't feel okay for you,
You can just soft focus someplace down past your nose.
And then go ahead and then just take a nice deep breath in and let it out.
And take another deep breath in.
And this time let it out with a little sigh.
And then breathe in whatever way feels good to you.
Perhaps noticing the air as it enters and exits your nose or the rise and fall of your chest or your diaphragm.
And if your mind wanders,
That's okay.
That's what minds do.
Just very gently notice where it went and maybe label that thinking and then come back to your breathing.
That's mindfulness,
Becoming aware of when you've drifted away.
And you might have to do that a number of times.
And as you're breathing,
Just allow yourself to really settle in to the ebb and the flow of your breath.
And as you continue to breathe in whatever way feels good to you,
Shift your attention to your body for a moment.
Feel your bottom in the chair,
Perhaps your feet on the floor or your hands in your lap.
And then just briefly scan to see how your body is feeling today,
What physical sensations do you notice?
If you become aware of any tension or tightness or discomfort,
Just send the soothing warmth and energy of your breath to any of those places.
And now I'd like you to bring to mind a time when you feel like you failed,
An experience where maybe you didn't meet a goal or you might have let yourself down or others down and try to recreate this experience very vividly in your mind.
And now if you can shift your attention and notice what's happening in your body,
What physical sensations do you experience?
Now gently practice just observing these physical sensations.
You don't have to engage with them.
You don't have to try to push them away.
Just observe them.
Don't attach meaning to them.
And also try not to get attached to the thoughts that are creating the sensations.
Just let the sensations be there and just observe.
In this observer mode,
We can notice and get unattached from the emotions.
If you find yourself getting swept up in the emotions or the thoughts,
That's okay.
Just notice that you're doing that.
And then bring your attention just back to those physical sensations where you can back all the way out and bring your attention back to the breath and then return to the physical sensations.
Everything in this observer mode can take us out of the reactivity.
Can help us to understand that failures and mistakes are part of being human.
It doesn't change our value or our worth.
Can actually help us to learn if we can become an observer of the physical sensations and the emotions and the thoughts rather than getting caught up with them.
We can notice what we might want to do differently next time.
And so now go ahead and kind of disengage from that particular experience and take a deep breath in and let it out.
And now shift your thinking to a time when you feel like you were successful.
You felt that sense of maybe accomplishing a goal,
Meeting or exceeding your own expectations or someone else's and really develop this in your mind as well.
And now observe the physical sensations in your body associated with this time of success.
Perhaps noticing the emotions that come along with that,
But again,
Without really getting engaged or attached.
Remaining that observer in this instance as well.
Many times we can also want to get attached to these emotions and sensations because they typically feel good,
But it's equally as important to remain that observer and to know that sometimes you'll have successes,
But not always.
Everyone has a mixture of successes and failures.
And so being able to toggle and notice when you're getting attached to the emotions and the thoughts and the sensations and then stepping back into observer mode.
It helps you to be more balanced and not to get swept up in the external circumstances and allow them to control and navigate your mood.
So now letting go of the success visualization and returning your attention to your breathing.
Finding your breath in your body once again.
The ebb and the flow,
The in and the out.
And as you bring your attention now to your body,
Noticing the sensations that are there in this neutral state.
And as we approach the end of this meditation,
It's important to recognize that things like this take practice.
Most of us have spent many years being swept up in our experiences of success and failure.
So be gentle with yourself.
And now begin to wiggle your fingers and your toes,
Moving around in your body.
And whenever you're ready,
You may open your eyes and return to the room.
Be well and have a wonderful day.
Namaste.
