From Anxiety To Calm: Finding The Middle Path

Join this intimate recorded meditation and talk with dharma friends and dharma dogs to explore and manage anxiety and avoidance through mindfulness and compassionate self-awareness. You will learn practical techniques like SNOE(E)LL from Lama Rod Owens's The New Saints and the zone of mindful resilience from Joann Rosen's Unshakeable. These methods will help you transform anxiety into a source of growth and resilience, empowering you to navigate life's challenges with inner strength and peace.

Transcript

So we're going to settle in our bodies.

Feeling the groundedness.

Finding an anchor.

The anchor could be the pitter-patter of toes.

It could be the heavy breathing of a dog in our face.

Helping us come back to the present moment.

Yes.

Okay.

So we feel our legs and our feet touching the ground.

And we feel our seat,

Our hips on the cushion.

We feel the solidity of our bodies on this earth.

And feeling the lengthening of our spine from the top of our head.

Connecting us to the universe above.

And our hips connecting down into the earth below.

Coming to our anchor.

Be it our breath.

Be it our legs on the floor.

Be it a sound.

Whichever anchor you've chosen,

Let that help bring us back into the present moment.

Connecting our bodies,

Our minds,

Our hearts to the here and to the now.

And continuing to notice our anchor.

Smiling at our anchor.

If your anchor is your breath,

Noticing the breath.

Flowing in and flowing out.

Breathing in and breathing out.

If thoughts,

Feelings,

Physical sensations arise,

Just notice them.

Maybe see if they're on the edge of your anchor.

Maybe see if they're on the edge of your anchor.

Or if they've kind of come in to main focus.

Either way,

It's okay.

That's what the mind does.

And we come back to our anchor.

In and out.

Continuing to be with the anchor.

And noticing when the mind or the body wants to pull us away.

Gently smile at the pulling.

And then returning to the anchor.

Noticing the breath.

If you're using the breath as the anchor.

Coming in and out.

This is an in-breath.

This is an out-breath.

Noticing the solidity.

Noticing the pausing and stopping.

That comes with concentration on an anchor.

And then coming back to the anchor.

Noticing the solidity.

Noticing the pausing and stopping.

Breathing in and breathing out.

Smiling at the barks.

Noticing that their barks are on the edge of our consciousness.

And coming back.

Coming back to the anchor.

That the anchor is the breath coming back to the in-breath and the out-breath.

Feeling the freedom and the solidity.

And connecting to the breath and the body.

So if you want to move around a little bit,

Stretch.

And so the anchor is connected to,

There's this,

I think,

Old Zen story about how when people used to walk elephants through the marketplace,

They would put a bamboo in front of the nose or in front of the trunk of the elephant to keep the elephant focused because the elephant's trunk smells everything.

So without the bamboo,

It would smell here,

It would smell there.

It'd kind of just get lost in the marketplace.

And so this idea of the bamboo in front of the trunk is for a way for it to focus and to concentrate.

And it's about having the elephant stay on its path,

Right,

Stay on the middle path.

And so tonight I want to talk about the middle path and how I found,

I'm finding that the middle path is such a beautiful metaphor,

Such a beautiful visualization for understanding life and for understanding myself more deeply.

I think sometimes you're like,

Oh,

Middle path,

It sounds so boring.

Like I just got to do the middle path,

The middle way.

Or even like in politics,

Right,

The centrist way,

So boring,

So blah.

And I think tonight I want to add some pizzazz to the middle path.

That the middle path is actually so rich and so cool.

So for me,

I think the visualization I like to use that's really cool is the idea that we're all floating on a river and life is a river and I'm in this boat by myself rowing in it.

And sometimes I veer far to left and I get stuck there.

Or sometimes I veer far too right and I get stuck there too.

So there's an analogy or a comparison to trauma-informed work and to how our neurobiology works.

And in Joanne Rosen's book,

She talks about this window of tolerance,

Right?

Psychologists call it the window of tolerance,

That the window of tolerance is a space where we are most regulated.

And either if it's like too much,

Then we're overexcited,

Over-energetic,

Anxious.

And if it's too little,

Then we shut down and go into depression or just like full-on shutdown mode.

And in the middle is where we thrive.

And so I love how the middle path connects to how our neurobiology works.

And my investigation these days has been kind of figuring out how to understand those edges of when I'm overexcited or when I shut down.

And Joanne talks about being able to widen this,

To increase this window of tolerance.

And she calls it the window of mindful resilience,

Right?

So that as we understand what's at the edge,

We can bring our resiliency even further.

And so that's why it's so cool to think of us like rolling down this river.

And rather than getting upset at getting stuck on either shore,

There's so much information about each shore that helps us come back to the middle.

And I think I spent many years being like,

Oh,

I can't believe I'm stuck there.

I can't believe I'm stuck there.

But now I'm saying,

Wait,

Actually,

If I get stuck there and I look at what gets me stuck there,

Maybe it's easier for me to come back to the middle.

And so my story about the two ends is about my relationship with soap operas and then with anxiety.

And so for me,

My high level point is anxiety.

I think overwhelmed stress,

Like that is like really high energy for me.

And so I'm gonna liken it right now on this side,

Let's say the left side is a bunch of whirlpool,

Right?

So I get caught.

My habit energies get me caught into the whirlpool of anxiety,

The whirlpool of over excitement,

Over energy.

And what happens when I'm over there is that I don't know how to deal with it.

I wanna run away from it,

Right?

I don't wanna deal with it.

Instead,

I just like veer off and let me go to the other shore directly.

I don't even buy,

I run past the middle so quickly that I don't even have a chance to come back to the middle.

I just like,

Let me go.

Let me go to the other side.

And there I get my boat stuck in the weeds and in the mud and the muck.

And on that side is my soap operas because I get to sit there and shut my brain down and do nothing.

And as I said,

For so long,

It would be going back and forth,

Back and forth,

Back and forth.

And when I started understanding more about the middle path,

I was like,

Wait,

There's something of great wisdom to be learned about being stuck.

And as I went into understanding why I would go into my soap operas,

Right?

So I came to understand,

Okay,

My soap operas is a way for my body to say,

I can't handle this anymore.

Whatever stressful situation was happening,

I needed to shut down.

And so the shutdown mode,

I would just kind of cycle through and say,

Oh,

Why am I shutting?

Like,

Why am I watching these soap operas?

What's wrong with me?

You know,

Like the second and third arrow would continue.

And then I started saying,

Wait,

There's something really interesting about this.

What is the precursor to the shutdown mode?

And the precursor is that I'm overexcited.

And part of the process is not actually knowing how to stop it in that moment,

Right?

Is that when I'm in it,

Like even just like last week,

I think I stayed up until three watching a soap opera,

Right?

And when I'm in it,

I don't know how to stop it.

And that's okay.

But what's cool about the mindfulness practice,

So cool about the middle path,

Is that when I'm afterwards,

I see that I'm stuck in it and I'm able to look more deeply and say,

Okay,

What were the causes and conditions of me being stuck in the mud?

And the causes and conditions were I was trying to avoid the pain that came from being overexcited.

And so,

It's just fascinating that the middle path,

Analogy of the middle path allows me to see,

Help me see this habit pattern a little bit more clearly and helped me then to go back and say,

Okay,

Let's look at anxiety.

Let's look at high energy spaces.

Let's look at when I wanna shut down,

Right?

What is it that I need to do What is it about the whirlpool,

The constant energy that makes me need to want to shut down?

And so that led me to looking at a practice from Lama Rod Owens called Snow Well.

It's very much like the RAIN practice.

It's like looking deeply at what is arising,

Emotions that are arising.

And so Snow Well,

I've been using that as a way to look deeply into my two extremes.

So first of all,

For me,

It was like identifying,

Okay,

I have this extreme and I have this extreme.

And then saying,

Okay,

Well,

This,

The drama watching extreme comes directly as a result of being overly stimulated.

So I have an over anxious.

So let me go back to that route and let me use Snow Well to understand that.

And so Snow Well stands for see it,

Name it,

Own it,

S-N-O-E,

Experience it.

And then I like to add another E,

Embrace it.

And then L,

Let it go.

And L,

Let it float.

And so what has been happening for me is I've been noticing with this practice,

It's been easier for me to work with my anxiety.

Sometimes I have a hard time sleeping and there's a lot of changes in my life right now.

And so just working through the anxiety has been difficult.

But I find that when I'm able to use Snow Well as a way to name it and see it and feel it and actually experience it,

Right?

So I think what happens with the middle path and like veering,

Like going straight to dramas is because I wanna run away from the feelings of over excited,

Over anxious.

But if I'm able to sit with it,

Just a little bit,

I'm able to veer back into the center and come back to myself and come back to,

Yeah,

Solidity and peace.

And so for example,

What I would do is I would say,

Okay,

I see it.

I see my anxiety and I name it.

This is anxiety in front of me.

Oh,

I own it.

Okay,

So where in my body does it feel it?

I'm owning it.

Okay,

This anxiety is mine.

Okay,

Mine.

And then experience it.

Okay,

So anxiety.

Okay,

I feel it in my chest.

It feels warm.

I feel kind of some tingly in my legs.

It's uncomfortable.

I wanna run away,

But let me just stick with it.

What else?

What else to do?

What else?

It feels kind of red colored.

And then,

Okay,

Yes,

I've experienced it.

Now let me embrace it.

Let me give my anxiety a big hug.

Let me send it a lot of love.

Okay,

Anxiety,

You're okay.

Let me give you a lot of love and a lot of hugs.

And then L,

We let it go.

Anxiety,

Are you ready to be let go?

Yeah,

Yeah,

Okay,

We're gonna let you go.

And then let it float.

I'm gonna let the anxiety float.

And so when I do this,

I feel like I'm able to come back to the center.

And yes,

I know I'll go back to my soap operas.

I know that that habit energy is so strong.

And I know that it will happen again.

And I also know now I have these new tools of visualizing my middle path.

And I also have this tool of Snowell to work through these pieces so that I can come back to center.

And so I invite you to practice with me.

If you'll think of a small annoyance or irritation.

So if we think of like our window of tolerance,

You want like a level two or three.

Level 10 is completely out of your window of tolerance.

So don't think of the most extreme and tense emotion or incident,

But think of something small.

And like for me,

Anxiety is my big,

Big thing.

So if you wanna play with anxiety,

Please do so.

Or think of another small situation that you wanna work with.

So first of all,

So you take your situation and maybe name and see it.

First of all,

See it.

What do you see?

What does it look like?

And then you name it.

What is it?

What is its name?

What does it feel like?

This small discomfort.

And after naming it,

Own it.

So this is part of me.

It's okay.

This is part of me.

And once you feel like,

Okay,

This is part of me.

I'm okay with owning it.

Let's experience it.

So where in your body do you experience it?

What temperature is it?

What color is it?

Where is it showing up the most?

Researchers say that emotions are only like 30 seconds long,

But the more we delay those emotions,

The more they compound and it gets longer and more intense.

And so if we're able to pull up the emotion in that moment and hold it for that 30 seconds,

It'll pass through us much easier.

And then after you've experienced it,

Embrace it.

Give it a big hug.

Give that emotion,

That situation,

A big,

Big hug.

All your love,

All your compassion.

It's part of you.

It deserves your love.

Smile at it.

And maybe when it's like ready,

Maybe a smile back from it,

You say,

Okay,

I'm ready to let you go.

Let you go.

And I'll let you float into the ether.

Let it disintegrate.

And as you're kind of seeing this whole process,

Start also noticing yourself in this boat.

Start noticing which side of the shore it veered towards.

Did it veer towards high energy or did it veer towards low energy?

And on either shore,

What does it tell you about your habit energy?

What insights do you see from looking deeply at that emotion or that insight?

From looking deeply at that emotion or that incident?

And what did you get from noticing which shore it was on?

And so if you want to come back into this room with me.

So yeah,

The main thing I wanted to share was that,

Or the two main things I wanted to share was that how actually fun it is to look in the middle path.

Like if you think of it kind of as like a video game,

Like you're too far on this side,

You're too far on this side,

Just come back to the middle,

Right?

And if we can kind of have a sense of humor about these situations that our minds get caught in,

Then it might be easier to come back to center and come back to grounding with a lot more compassion.

I think I spent many years in the second and third arrow stuck,

Like,

You know,

Being like,

Oh,

Why am I like this?

You know,

And rather now I see,

Okay,

I'm stuck on the shore,

So cool.

I'm learning something about myself.

I'm now that I'm stuck,

I can look deeply and maybe next time I'll be a little less stuck and maybe,

Or maybe I will still be sitting still stuck,

But I will,

I've learned a little bit more about myself.

And then the second thing is the snow well is that,

Yeah,

I hope this practice of like looking into an emotion or into an incident and breaking it down like that finally,

For me,

It was a really cool way to look deeply,

To understand what's happening with me and then to look deeply into it and then really embrace it.

Cause I think that,

And really embody it because I think sometimes our meditation practice for me is so brainy.

It's so much like I'm thinking,

I'm thinking,

I'm thinking,

But now with this,

You know,

Experience it and see it and name it,

All these pieces really helps me feel it in my body and process it in my body and really then let it go.

And so,

Yeah,

It's the middle path and snow well as a,

As a,

As a ways to,

To continue and deepen our practice.

Reviews

🙏 This was a very helpful visualization . I've really been struggling and this "middle path" might be a way for me to heal, instead of all or nothing thinking. Thank you so much for sharing this