Forgiveness, Purpose And Intention

Forgiveness comes in different forms; offering forgiveness to others, asking to be forgiven by someone else and forgiveness of self. The purpose of forgiveness when offered to someone else is not to condone behavior but to allow the one hurt to release their own personal pain and their desire to revist the pain their damaging caused again and again. Only when we truly forgive can we be free of our attachment to the hurt and harm.

Transcript

Hi,

My name is Karen.

Today's study really has to do with the power and purpose of forgiveness.

There are different kinds of forgiveness.

If someone comes to us and they ask us for forgiveness,

We can grant them grace.

We can go to someone and ask for forgiveness and hope that we are forgiven.

One of the most challenging places to offer and accept forgiveness is to the self.

And so we're going to deal with that one last.

Begin by arranging yourself in a comfortable position,

Either seated,

Standing,

Or lying down.

And for the practice,

If you're comfortable,

Close your eyes.

If not,

Just keep the eyes half closed with a downward and softened focus.

If seated in a chair,

Place your feet both flat on the floor rather than crossing your legs and find a place where you won't be disturbed.

So let it be somewhat quiet.

Our first meditation is to deal with the situation where someone has knowingly or unknowingly harmed you or hurt you in some way,

Through action,

Thought,

Or deed.

And try not to pick something that's too big.

Forgiveness is a learning process and sometimes starting small.

You can begin to discover that it gets easier as you continue on,

But we don't want to meet a roadblock right out of the gate.

So I want you to try to recall in your life a small moment,

Something not too traumatic,

Not too traumatic,

Where you may have experienced harm or hurt through the actions of someone else,

Whether knowingly or unknowingly,

They caused you some hurt.

And as you recall that moment,

That experience,

Let your body feel the detail of it.

Experience what those emotions were.

The emotions are unpleasant and it's important that you do allow yourself to experience them,

Because this is the reason we need to let them go.

This is the reason we need to offer forgiveness.

We hold attachments to those moments in our life that have been life-changing.

In other words,

Some hurt has caused us to make a different choice,

To follow a different path.

And so it is life-changing,

Even if it's in a very small degree.

And we remember that.

We can take it as an experience that offers us wisdom,

Or too often we take it as an experience in which we are living and reliving in the emotional pain and suffering.

So as you recall this moment,

Let yourself feel this.

While you're feeling this,

You should know that the body doesn't know whether this is the first time you've experienced this,

Or the hundredth time that you have recalled it back to memory and experienced these same effects within the body.

This is why we need to let this go.

What the body is doing right now,

Trying to process this,

Is struggling.

It's suffering,

And it's trying to protect you.

But its only means of protecting is to let this go.

So we're going to find a way to do that through forgiveness.

I want you to bring to mind now the person,

The face of the person who caused this harm.

This may elicit emotions right away,

How you feel about that person.

You may have been trying to avoid that person.

But in this moment,

Know that they can't hurt you.

They cannot hurt you.

You're safe.

So let's put you both at a table.

Imagine that.

You're sitting across the table.

They have come because you have manifest them there.

And now I'm going to offer you some phrases,

Which you can repeat,

Or you can just let the words that I'm speaking be yours.

Looking the person in the eye,

So that they hear,

They hear,

They understand what you're saying.

I forgive you.

I forgive you for any harm,

Any hurt that you have caused me,

Knowingly or unknowingly.

I forgive you,

Not because I condone what you have done,

Not because it didn't touch me in some way that has caused pain and confusion.

I forgive you so that I can be free from this pain.

I forgive you so that I can release this memory from my life,

So that all it holds is wisdom.

I forgive you so that I can be free.

I will never need to think about this again.

I forgive you with all my heart.

I forgive you so that I am now free.

And you can then rise up from your seat across the table from them and walk away.

There's nothing that they can say to you.

There is nothing that they can do to you.

The wisdom that you hold is to understand that in your presence,

Their behavior may not be safe for you.

And so you can always avoid that.

There is no reason to extend trust and confidence to them.

They have shown you in their actions that they are not safe for you.

And so you can choose to keep company elsewhere.

Now,

Our next meditation has to do with asking forgiveness.

There have always been times when we have done something that has caused someone else pain.

And you may or may not have asked for forgiveness.

And even in asking for forgiveness,

They may not have granted it to you.

And the problem there is that you have carried that pain,

That shame,

That guilt with you.

They may have forgot about it.

They may have released it finally,

But you haven't.

And so for those people that have been hurt by actions that you have taken,

Whether knowingly or unknowingly,

That you have harmed in some way through action,

Thought,

Doing of or not doing,

If they are no longer in your life,

And you crave to be free from this pain,

The shame and guilt,

Let this meditation perhaps offer you some relief from that.

Again,

Arrange yourself to be very comfortable.

Imagine sitting across a table from this person.

See their face.

Perhaps they might even speak to you and tell you the pain that they've experienced.

Perhaps you already know it.

Allow yourself to be witness to this,

To accept the responsibility of being at least a part in their pain.

Now we're going to ask for forgiveness.

They won't respond because remember,

They actually can't.

They're not in your life.

They were simply recounting the damage that was caused,

Knowingly or unknowingly,

By you in some part.

I'm here to ask for forgiveness.

I have caused hurt and harm to you,

Whether knowingly or unknowingly,

Through action,

Thought or deed.

My actions feel a betrayal.

And I am sorry.

I am very sorry.

I came from a place of pain and fear and confusion,

And my actions were not worthy.

I have punished myself for my actions and the harm that I've caused you.

And if I could ask for your forgiveness,

I believe that you are compassionate and kind,

And that you would ultimately allow this gift to me.

I am not asking for forgiveness because I am deserving of your kindness.

I am asking for forgiveness because I'm truly sorry.

I am truly sorry.

And if I had the means to set right this harm,

I would do it.

I'm asking you to recognize that I have made a mistake and that I am responsible for any harm caused.

Please forgive me.

I am sorry.

I am very sorry.

Whether or not a person has granted forgiveness for something that you have caused,

Which has hurt them in some way,

This is something that is out of your control.

If they don't want to or refuse to offer you forgiveness,

You need to understand that you have done all that you can,

And that now they have made a choice to hold the pain and its burden.

But you are not then required to carry this burden of pain,

This guilt and shame for the rest of your life.

The fact that you are aware,

The fact that you are experiencing emotions of guilt or shame explains that you understand that you have done something wrong,

And that you would like to make amends or to find a way to correct it.

But sometimes,

No matter how hard we try,

We can't fix it.

Sometimes,

No matter how hard we try,

We cannot find a way back into the heart of someone that we have hurt.

We have abused their trust and confidence,

And we must accept that and carry that wisdom with us so that it will govern our behaviors going forward.

And I'm asking you to recognize that you have done all that you can going forward.

We do make mistakes,

All of us.

And in the event that they have not granted forgiveness,

This is where it becomes very challenging.

And this is our third meditation.

This is the granting of forgiveness of the self.

Arrange yourself to be very comfortable.

Take a moment to find a place of hurt,

Hurt that has resulted in something that you have done to someone else.

It is so important to set yourself free from this pain.

It is debilitating,

And its long-term effects,

They're very damaging to the body and your emotional and mental wellness.

This is the language we use.

I have hurt someone.

I am responsible for pain or harm or harm that was caused to them through action,

Thought,

Or my deeds.

I am truly sorry.

I have asked them for forgiveness.

They have chosen not to forgive me,

And I accept this as it is their right to withhold forgiveness.

I am sorry that their pain will continue.

I cannot exist any longer in this state of chronic punishment.

The pain I experienced remembering this moment in my life is hurting my heart.

At times,

I find it hard to breathe.

I must let this go.

I forgive me.

I forgive myself for any and all actions,

Thoughts,

And deeds that may have hurt someone.

I accept my humanity and can see,

Looking back,

That I came from a place of pain and fear and confusion.

I am so sorry.

It's time that I let this go.

I can no longer carry this burden,

And so with all my heart,

I forgive myself any and all transgressions,

Whether in action,

In thought,

Or intention.

With all my heart,

I forgive myself so that I can be free.

I will learn from this.

I will hold the wisdom compassionately in my heart,

And I will grow.

But there is no growth in the darkness of shame.

I must bring the light of forgiveness into my heart.

I forgive myself wholly and completely without condition.

Within the grouping of forgiving of self,

This is referencing harms that we may have caused others.

But in not forgiving yourself,

Holding that pain,

Revisiting that pain,

That shame,

Altering choices in your life because of that burden you've carried,

There has been harm which you have brought to yourself.

And again,

This is really about how we can forgive ourself for the harms that we've done,

The choices that we've made,

The language we use to speak to ourselves,

The doubts we hold about our abilities or our character,

Our worth.

You were born enough,

And in you,

You have all that you need,

Everything.

And you deserve forgiveness,

Forgiveness for the things which you may have said and done to yourself,

Whether knowingly or unknowingly,

Causing yourself harm.

This meditation is for you,

Sitting tall in your seat,

Comfortably.

Within your chest,

There is contrition.

But there is also in your heart an understanding that you are worthy of forgiveness,

That you are inherently good,

And that you deserve to be free.

This is the language we use.

I can see that in my past,

There are choices that I have made,

Words that I have spoken,

Pursuits which I have followed that may have hurt me.

These are choices that I have made in action,

In thought,

In deed,

So many ways that I have hurt myself,

Knowingly or unknowingly.

I am a good person.

I have made mistakes,

And I am very sorry for the pain and burden that I've allowed myself to carry for too long,

For far too long.

I must let go this burden,

This pain,

This shame.

I forgive myself.

I forgive myself because I am truly sorry.

I forgive myself because I deserve to be forgiven.

I forgive myself because I am worthy of great things in this life and in the next.

Of great things in this life,

And I must not stand in my own way.

I forgive myself because it is impossible to move forward under the burden of shame.

And so I throw off this burden of shame.

I shine a bright light into my heart.

I let that light move through me and heal me.

I forgive myself unconditionally.

I can see that I came from a place of pain and fear and confusion.

I forgive me.

I love myself,

And I see that I am worthy of my own forgiveness and love.

In offering this forgiveness,

I am now free.

Forgiveness is not something that just happens.

It's a decision,

A choice.

A choice to either stay rooted firmly in the past,

In the pain and the muck,

Or to walk out of that pain and confusion.

To forgive someone else,

You free your own soul.

For them,

You may give them peace.

But truly,

Whether someone forgives you for something or not,

If you haven't forgiven yourself,

That pain will still exist.

And so if there is one meditation that is most important in these that we have taken today,

It is the last.

Forgiveness of self.

You are human.

You are human.

And in that humanity,

You are enough.

And you are simply doing the best you can.

And so,

Accept that there will be some mistakes.

Life becomes messy.

But we can move on from the messes we make.

Make amendments where you can.

And then you must move on.

Life is moving forward,

And so are you.

And you can do this in the bright light of forgiveness.

Namaste.

Reviews

Thank You Karen. How beautiful so touching. What a gift,😘🙏❤️