Release Trauma Signals - Self-Abuse

In this deeply nurturing session, we focus on identifying and releasing the hidden trauma signals that perpetuate patterns of self-abuse. Through guided awareness, gentle insight, and heart-centred practices, we will begin to unravel the inner wounds that silence our worth and block our healing. This is a sacred space to reconnect with your inner light and activate the remembrance of your true value.

Transcript

So let's see how we're going to use our time today.

We're gathering so that we can unwrap another trauma signal.

There are so many of these.

Some of us have a lot,

And some of us have just a few of them.

However it resonates with you,

Just know that you're taking the time to unwrap these little aggravating signals in your energy system.

It will help you,

But it will also help your line.

So it moves into the collective conscious field like a ripple opens into a pond.

Just know that it's worthwhile undoing,

Unwrapping all of them,

Being here,

Holding the space.

Even if this one doesn't touch you very deeply,

Just hold it for the others who know about the story in a different way.

Today we're going to talk about this idea of self-abuse,

And we want to learn about what that is and how it affects us,

And how we think when we're in that self-abusive mindset,

And how we can undo that signal so that we can start to operate through this mind-body-energy system in a different way,

In a way that is filled with more ease,

Grace,

Kindness,

Compassion,

Forgiveness,

All those beautiful energies that we can start to bring in.

Oh,

This is so important for us to really be paying attention to this,

Especially now in the eruption of what is happening in our beautiful world.

All the emotions,

It's like all the signals,

All the traumas,

All the hideousness,

It's like someone's gathered them all up and just tossed them up into the air,

And they're just this free radical dust that's floating around in the energy systems.

So if you know a story that's going to hit you and it's going to connect to you in a double-amplifying way,

Not just the content of what's around you,

But how your own body is going,

Ooh,

I don't like this,

I'm terrified.

So we want to look at these,

And we want to hold each other and hold the space.

So let's do that together,

My treasures.

We hold this energy,

Use this time very well.

Bring yourself into this moment in whatever way you can,

Be kind to you,

And settle in.

We're going to connect,

And we're going to unwrap the story of self-abuse.

Just think about what you know about that in your own life or in someone else's,

Someone who might be close to you,

A family member or a friend.

Think about how you hear the words self-abuse.

Understand it in the way that you can interpret it.

We're going to drop into the sacred space together.

I'm going to bring in the bell,

And we're going to call in our guides and angels,

And have a really lovely session.

So here comes our bell,

My lovelies.

Take a deep breath in.

Long,

Slow out-breath,

Breathe out.

And as you do,

Smooth the skin on your beautiful face.

Relax your brow,

Your jaw.

Soften your tummy.

And feel the balance of your body on the left and the right.

It's so wonderful to know ourselves in the moment when we go into any kind of space where we're going to connect into high light vibrations.

To stabilize,

Anchor,

And ground our energy helps us to connect to much higher frequencies,

Like a grounding chord in the heart.

Something that supports you and holds you.

Lucky for us,

We have this beautiful earth,

This amazing gravity,

And the breath,

And the light,

The air,

And the sunshine,

And all of this that is holding us in this orb of earth.

If at any time you feel very,

Very wobbly,

And you just don't know if you can hold on any longer,

Just stop,

Take a breath into your being like we have just done.

Drop,

Drop into the space where you are.

Become very aware of where you are right now.

Earth is holding you,

My loves.

There's nothing you have to do to maintain you being held.

Soften your tummy,

And sit a little heavier into the space.

Allow yourself to be held.

Send a message to your mind and body that I am being supported.

I am being breathed into.

My heart is beating.

There is nothing that I have to do to make myself survive this moment.

Everything that I need just to be here is happening for me,

In me,

And around me anyway.

I am in the divine design.

It's one of my favorite things for me to say to myself at the moment,

That even if it looks higgledy-piggledy,

And very difficult,

Very challenging,

Then I say to myself,

I am in the divine design.

I'm not standing outside of it,

Hoping to get in.

I'm in it.

And I'm being supported and held right here,

Right now.

See if you can find that anchoring energy for you in whatever way you can,

So that you can settle down and feel a deep sense of stability and lovely kindness to you,

Loving kindness to you.

See if you can do that now.

Then ask your beautiful being,

As you open your heart to so much light and sunlight,

Sunshine,

Grace,

Kindness,

We imagine this like a beautiful flower just opening itself up to the sunlight and the air and all that is,

Starting to reveal itself,

Release its perfume,

Its beauty and all its inner held colors.

Allow yourself to be this blooming,

Beautiful being.

And into this space,

We welcome our guides.

We ask them to come really close now,

Be close now,

Be with me now.

Whatever it is that can help and support our group,

This connection that we are creating.

We imagine these lines of light and love that we are transmitting to each and every soul that is here.

Thank you for being here.

Thank you for caring.

Thank you for opening your heart.

And thank you for your willingness to be a little vulnerable.

And the vulnerability of our being,

That we understand that we are these beings that are seeking for something.

Our vulnerability exposes that longing and that yearning.

So whenever we feel a little wobbly,

Insecure,

Frightened,

Horrified,

Just remember it's because of who you are that you feel that way.

It awakens a signal in your heart and your soul,

A longing and a desire.

So we ask our beautiful being,

What do I know about the signal of self-abuse?

How do I disregard myself?

How do I blame and shame myself?

How do I speak to this beautiful being?

Are there moments when you can be with yourself with more kindness,

More compassion and understanding,

More tolerance?

Or are you constantly in that space of chastising and criticising your own self?

And if you find that you are so often in that place where it's hard to be kind to you,

It's very likely that you've understood in this lifetime or a journey of existence or there might be an imprint in your family line when those around the family were disregarded,

Rejected,

Humiliated,

Where there was some kind of disruption in the thread of constant kindness,

Consistent love.

Something happened to create this sense of insecurity,

This vulnerability,

The wobbliness in our energy field.

When we have that,

We feel disconnected to the part of us that wants us to live our highest life,

To vibrate with more light and love and to open up into such a high light vibration because that,

My lovelies,

Is who we are already.

We are these divine beings of light and love.

We are the very breath of the divine.

When a disruption comes into our family line in one way or another,

When a situation continues to be played out,

We can almost get to the point where we believe that that's the way it is until we might reflect upon this with a friend or witness a different structure happening,

A different setup happening,

And we go,

Oh gosh,

I've been living with that for so long and maybe I didn't even notice how bad it was.

I know that is very true for many of you,

That you just thought that that's the way it is.

Isn't it wonderful the way this darling human self helps us,

Protects us?

It's always with us and always on our side.

It finds ways to manage,

To cope,

And you know that those are my least favorite words because management requires so much energy just to show up and be here and manage yourself.

And coping and hoping,

All of that feels so small in the vast expanse of our potential when we're just hoping that it might be.

You can hear the despair already in the word hope.

Oh,

I hope it's gonna happen.

Well,

I hope that person's gonna like me.

You can hear the self-rejection inside of it already.

And so the self-abuse that we bring into our being comes with all these signals that we are interpreting from our own point of view,

Based upon what it is that we think and believe and understand,

How we have arranged our system,

Our connectivity to the rest of the world.

But is it possible that we could do it in a different way?

Is it possible that we could see ourselves no longer as the victims to ourself or to the world?

That we no longer will receive abuse from outside towards this beautiful instrument,

This beautiful being,

The breath of God.

And we will no longer self-inflict the pain,

The despair,

The disregard,

The hatefulness.

We have been so wickedly,

Badly behaved to our own selves,

Especially women,

When we live up to all these expectations of I need to look like this to be accepted.

I need to be like that to be the one that is popular.

It's terribly challenging for young people today because if they don't fit within a very small little margin,

They are totally thrust away.

We've known that too,

But I think that it has escalated and it's a really good place for us to look at why this is.

The narrower we become in our mindset of what is safe,

Predictable,

Known,

Permittable,

The smaller that frame gets,

The smaller we have to get.

The more minuscule our thinking and perceptions become.

So we limit ourselves into a very tight little space of pain.

So much pain,

Disregard.

If only I looked like that.

If only I was a little bit taller.

If only I had blue eyes.

If only I was born in another country and had another language.

If only,

If only.

All these if onlys it could be.

Yet here we are.

We are this one that is here.

This one that looks like this,

That speaks like this,

That shows up like this.

Thinks and feels,

Perceives,

Understands.

This is you.

Unless you're willing to go and get sliced and diced by all the different ways that you can try and pretend that you look another way.

Deep inside you,

You are still that dear one.

You are still the soul that is unique and beautiful.

And right there is where we lost it.

We lost our sovereignty,

The delight of our uniqueness,

Our quirky fabulousness.

I also believe that right now there is such a huge impulse for us to become more diverse in our thinking,

To open up our mind to be more accepting of diversity,

Those who are different.

In that ability to do that,

We can also see what is different in ourselves.

But we've played the game,

That small thing.

We must all fit in the certain way to be safe,

To be held,

To be predictable,

To be loved and honored and seen,

Accepted.

It's a small little slice of awareness and it's becoming smaller and smaller and smaller.

There are so few who can fit into it now.

Here we have this expansion,

This explosion of the awareness of diversity.

This,

My love,

Is just breaking open the box because now we can see ourselves in different ways,

Different formats.

How wonderful.

And we can start to embrace and love and honor who we are in that.

When we do this,

We can start to get the picture that we are sovereign,

Unique beings.

We have got to be sovereign and we have got to be unique.

We cannot possibly be like anybody else because then one of us doesn't need to be here.

We must be as diverse and fabulous and creative,

Ridiculous as we possibly can and love it in ourselves and love it in others.

How difficult it is to do that though,

Isn't it?

It's so very challenging.

And the reason why it is so challenging because we haven't given ourselves the kindness of that yet.

Just not enough.

We judge,

Shame,

Blame,

Persecute ourselves all the time.

Notice in the way you speak and move.

I challenge you in this next week as you hold this idea.

In how many ways are you disregarding you?

In how many ways are you criticizing you,

Blaming and shaming you?

It would be wonderful if you could just be so free that you could be in every moment free,

Able to be exactly who you are,

To show up in the world exactly as you are.

And wouldn't it be a wonderful world when we allow for that,

For all others to express themselves exactly the way they are?

To find a delight in it and then to find the threads that keep us as humanity as diverse as we wish to be,

As expansive as we wish to be.

It's the echo of the cosmic awareness.

Ourselves are these cosmic beings that are so incredible beyond a limitation and a small label.

The awareness of this expansive connection to all that is,

Is who we actually are.

Little facets on this grand,

Delightful,

Beautiful diamond of consciousness.

And you that facet,

I'm this one,

And we're all shining in our own way.

If we could hold that,

Hold that idea,

And we could all be this,

But at the same time,

Know that we are connected to each other.

Not because we look the same,

Walk the same,

And behave the same,

And have the same cultures and belief systems.

We belong to each other because we are the very breath of the divine.

We are one.

We have all these incredible,

Full spectrum,

Diverse,

Ridiculous,

Fabulous ways of showing humanity through our own reflection of being here.

And that is what we must come back to.

Remember who you are.

It's the sacred commandment.

It's the first sacred commandment that we've been given at this time.

Remember who you are.

You are not like anyone else,

And you never will be.

Don't go and try and change yourself,

Distort yourself,

And slice and dice upon your body and your being.

Don't you be doing that.

You're beautiful just as you are.

See that within you,

Because if you allow for that just to come back into you,

And you be kind to you,

You acknowledge,

See,

And adore,

Honor you,

Then we have a very good chance of being able to translate that energy outward from our own self into the field around us,

That we can start to view others not as separate from us and not threats to us.

We can start to feel who we truly are without causing pain to our own being.

There is another very big reason we need to look at.

The self-abuse.

We hurt ourselves because we are hurt.

We are aching and longing.

We're in great pain.

It is the energy that sits right there on the lung and the colon meridians,

Those energy lines.

It is the energy of deep sadness,

Deep longing.

And we believe that belonging means that we all have to be the same.

When did we get that idea?

It is so ridiculous when you think about it,

When you just step back and you go,

Oh,

Okay.

For me growing up in South Africa and for many of you who've grown up in the UK,

We had to wear school uniforms and boy,

Oh boy,

You had to look the same.

Oh,

There's no ways we can look the same.

We came in all the different sizes and all the different ways of being.

Yet we all had to be the same.

You had to have your skirt like five fingers above your knee and no higher.

So if you lined everybody up,

We would all have our skirts at the same level.

It was ridiculous.

When you showed your hands,

Your fingernails couldn't step over the top.

You couldn't see them.

If you did,

Oh,

Chup-chop-chum-off.

Have to be all the same,

Pigtails and everyone had to look the same.

What is that?

That is control.

That is hurting.

That is meanness.

Because no way that we could all be the same.

Those little cute little things who just fitted in the uniform and looked like a little Barbie doll and dinky doys,

Well,

That's great for them.

But everybody else,

Oh my gosh,

It was just awful.

It was hell because you don't fit in,

But you've got to fit into this little box and this conformity.

So we grow up and we grow our children up with the idea that they must be the same.

If they're not,

There's something wrong with them and they're broken and they won't fit in.

Like the many puzzles that we see in a grand puzzle that we make,

Every little piece of puzzle,

Even though some of them look so similar,

They're not.

Every piece of a puzzle is its own perfect shape and design that when we put it all together,

The whole image is so spectacular.

If one of those get chewed up by the dog,

I always love to say that.

Oh,

The despair.

Then the whole puzzle is finished.

What do we all see?

We don't see the grand design of the whole thing being done.

We see the whole,

Where the piece got chewed up and is missing.

That's you,

My loves.

Come back,

Put yourself back in the divine design.

Let go of the idea that you have to be a certain way to be accepted by somebody else.

Let go of the conditions that hook us every time we give our power away to this that is outside of me to tell me who I am or how I can be.

Let go of that loop.

Come back to you,

Find your strength,

Anchor your energy and be in your sovereignty,

Your strength,

Your beauty,

Yourself,

Your being.

And let go of the pain and the hurt that we've been playing with for so long.

The idea that this is its time to be let go of.

We cannot move into a new idea until we shift.

We make a big commitment now to ourselves to be kind,

To be loving,

To be extravagant and ridiculous and fabulous,

No matter what.

Sing as loud as you want,

Dance as much as you wanna be,

Dress in all the crazinesses that you want to be.

It's all wonderful.

Express yourself as your own unique delightful being.

No more self-persecuting,

Self-abusing,

No more hardship and hurt to this beautiful being.

It's here because it's meant to be here in this perfect way.

We are fitting into a design that we cannot yet fathom.

But believe me,

We are in the divine design,

Every single one of us.

Isn't that just so beautiful,

Just so marvelous?

Let's take a deep breath in,

My treasures.

Take a breath,

Long,

Slow out-breath.

And just imagine you can drop,

Drop,

Drop all the pain,

All the stories,

All the clutter.

Come back to clarity.

You are that already,

You hold it within you.

Come back to you.

Thank you for you,

My treasures.

So,

So much love.