Release Trauma Signals - Blaming

Releasing the trauma signal of blame begins with recognizing that blame is a defence mechanism masking deeper pain and fear. By shifting from blame to self-awareness and compassion, we create space for healing and personal growth. Letting go of blame allows us to reclaim our power, fostering emotional freedom and deeper connections with others.

Transcript

Sweet people,

We're going to have a beautiful session today when we connect just in these moments online.

We give ourselves some time to step away from our lives,

Bring about a reset,

A reconnection.

That's truly such a wonderful gift for us to give ourselves.

So come on in and be here with us.

We're going to unwrap some more of these energy signals that are so disruptive.

They create patterns in our systems,

Our energy system.

They cause all kinds of warps in our belief systems,

Our mindsets.

So we really want to look at what it is that we can release and let go and step into a whole new awareness of ourself as this beautiful human being.

And at the same time,

Awaken those signals that are just waiting to bring our full potential forward and for us to step into the next phase of our human story.

It's a beautiful time to be here and a wonderful time for us to hold the space together as a collective.

All the games,

All the stories of duality,

Polarity,

Diversity,

Separation,

Contrast,

Conflict,

All of that is awakening.

It's really pushing towards our attention right now so that we pay attention to something else.

That something else is what we want to plug back into.

This feeling that we want to create something else.

That,

My lovely,

Can only come from our divine heart.

So let's awaken that part of us.

Let's step into the space together and we hold this lovely,

Lovely energy.

If you can,

For a little while now,

Just relax.

If you can be very present in this time,

It'll be wonderful.

We've only got about 25 minutes or so,

So that we can really focus and bring our attention in at this exact point in time.

Many of us,

Bringing our attention to where we are right now at this time,

Really lifts the energy frequency.

That's the gift.

So let's be in the space now together.

If you can do that,

Be all the way present here now.

Here comes our bell.

We take a deep breath in.

Long,

Slow out-breath.

Just release,

Release,

Drop,

Drop into this moment.

Feel yourself grounded,

Connected here.

Whatever part of your being is touching this earth,

Acknowledge that and feel yourself being held,

Being supported.

If you can,

Drop your shoulders,

Close your eyes,

Smooth the skin on your beautiful face.

Draw your attention right inward to you,

This beautiful being that is holding a moment in time.

That's what you're doing right now.

You're holding a moment in time.

This moment will never be again.

So let's bring all our attention to it.

Let's focus in on what it is that we would love to expand and open,

Create or heal.

Whatever it is that we can shift towards a higher conscious awareness.

Let's imagine that being present in this moment now will give us that opportunity,

Which it truly can,

Especially when enough of us gather and hold the same intention.

That we will be peaceful within to hold the energy of peace.

That we will experience harmony within this being so that we can bring in the energy of harmony.

We will be kind to this being so that we can bring kindness into the field.

All of this,

My lovely,

Starts with you.

So could you now,

In the space that you're resting,

Being held,

Being breathed,

Could you open your heart to you with so much love and compassion?

All the places and all the sadness and all the struggles that we have felt ourselves involved in,

Connecting and colliding into.

Allow yourself in this moment and this space to acknowledge you here,

Just as you are.

No matter what your life has looked like and no matter what you've done or created or not done,

Be here,

Be at peace with you,

Be kind to you.

And in that,

You create a sense of harmony around you.

With that sense of energy moving around you,

Imagine what it might look like.

It's just too beautiful.

Swirling vortices of energy holding you in this capsule of you.

Here,

Right within it,

Is this glorious heart,

The divine heart that is connected to all that is.

This divine heart that seeks for something,

Longs for love and companionship,

Kindness,

Friendship,

Sweetness.

Hold that longing in your heart,

But hold it,

My lovelies,

In a way that doesn't register that sense of like,

Oh,

It's hopeless,

Oh,

I can't have it.

You can hold it that way,

But it truly doesn't serve you.

Or you can hold it in a way that says,

This is what I know.

This is what my heart is seeking,

Longing for,

What I'm yearning to be part of.

That right there is an activation of your heart.

At the moment we push our energy down into this disgusting little frequency called blaming,

The moment we go there,

Our energy collapses and we feel very despondent.

So much self-blame,

Shame,

So much hate and anger that we push towards our own being.

When we blame ourselves,

We will always find ourselves blaming others at the same time.

That idea of not being able to take responsibility or not agree with yourself is when we find ourselves sitting deeply in that very sticky,

Icky mud pit of blaming.

Right next to blaming sits the shaming,

Blaming and shaming.

I just tend to say the two together because they really do go together,

Don't they?

The moment someone blames us for something,

Wags their finger at us,

Or persecutes us in some way,

Mocks us,

Or chastises us,

We feel so ashamed.

So that shame that we feel and that we know now is the shame frequency.

If we were to register it in the heart signal,

It would come in at about 20,

Which is so low that they say it is approximate to death.

Shame.

Blame helps us to go deeper into the shame pit.

Once we're in that deep,

Sad place,

It feels very lonely.

We feel very lost.

It's so deep sometimes that we can almost not find our way out.

So be aware now of the moments in your life when you have felt this deep sense of being blamed,

Being persecuted and judged,

Especially when we're growing up.

We're going to notice that so much.

There is this expectation that children should behave in a certain way,

That they should be beautifully coordinated and never break anything.

But the moment little children start interacting in the world and have not yet sorted out this prior perceptive energy,

Their awareness of themselves in time and space,

They're so prone to making mistakes,

Bumping into things,

Knocking things over.

Guess what?

It happens again when you get a bit older.

We feel like we're a little awkward.

We're not managing so well.

We could see all of this as a growth point.

In children,

We could just say,

Well,

They're just at that stage where they're still working it out.

We could be so gracious and kind to those clumsy little fools,

To the things that get broken and destroyed.

We could see it in a different way.

But if we don't make space for each other with deep kindness and compassion,

It is easy for us just to drop straight into blaming and yelling,

Chastising,

Scolding,

And punishing.

We all know what it's like to be at the end of that story and what we feel like.

So if you could think about where that sits within you,

When something awful has happened and you know it was a mistake,

There's no way to get around it except to say,

I made a mistake.

No idea how it happened,

But things happen,

My treasures.

When we do make a mistake,

It would be so wonderful if we could say to ourselves in those moments,

Oh,

Well,

I did the best I could in that moment,

Or,

Oh,

Goodness me,

That wasn't my finest moment.

So be it.

I'm going to follow that up with many,

Many other really fine,

Fabulous moments.

That moment doesn't have to dictate or punish or label me for all time.

I don't have to carry that story in me,

But we do that to each other.

We blame and we shame,

We judge and we persecute.

Then,

Just to make it even tidier,

We pop all that information and the person in the box with a great big ribbon and a label stuck on it,

The one who is always clumsy,

The one who is always breaking things,

The one who can't do the right stuff.

Why are you always so?

Out come the words of judgment and blame and shame,

And so our energy drops.

Growing up is really challenging,

Especially because parents and caregivers become tired.

Of course they do.

Little children are exhausting,

But that's when we need to be our most loving,

Most gracious and kind,

Most empathic.

Allow for all the little glitches that go on in their life.

Give them a lot of space to learn and to find things out.

Feel where that sits in your body.

This frequency sits right on the bladder and kidney meridians.

So often,

If you've made a mistake or something dreadful has happened,

You've dropped something or just not managed to show up,

You get that dropping,

Dread feeling in your body.

It's just awful.

It's just that feels like the world is just dropping out through the base of our body.

It's exactly like that,

Because that is the place where we hold the signal of fear,

Trepidation,

Dread.

It's where we hold that energy.

If we live in that space,

If we are motivated in every moment of our life to constantly be vigilant,

Constantly watching out that we don't make the wrong turn,

We never make a mistake.

Can you imagine how uptight you would be maneuvering through this world?

You would be so tight.

Your darling tummy would be constantly in this tightness that says,

Watch out at any minute now,

Be vigilant,

Hold on for dear life,

Never relax,

Never allow,

Never trust,

Just be vigilant,

Be terrified.

If we have lived with too much blaming and shaming,

This little body becomes wired for a story of protection.

If we constantly do that,

If we constantly bring all that angst and all that misery,

That anguish into our body,

And we bring it into the place that is most reactive,

Most susceptible to it,

Then we wonder why do we get these bladder infections?

Why are our kidneys and our backs so sore?

Why is it that we're so timid in the spaces with others because we think at any minute now we might do something wrong and be rejected?

We don't venture out into the world and we don't take the grand,

Glorious,

Challenging steps that we have the capacity for.

We just stay in this very tight,

Small box.

Oh no,

It's safe here.

I know exactly what I'm doing.

I'm just going to do this because I don't risk myself being more fabulous because if I make a mistake,

I will feel blamed and I'll blame and shame myself for sure.

So much rather this human species would rather stay in a very small belief system,

In a box that's got all its labels,

Well-defined,

Barcoded and stamped upon it.

This is you,

Human.

This is how you behave and this is how you don't behave.

You may not express yourself in any other way.

If you do,

You're going to be thrown out the box and good luck to you managing outside the box.

In here,

It's nice and safe,

Nothing to worry about.

But my lovelies,

If we go into a tight box that is so stuck and so set with ideas,

Belief systems and structures,

Doctrine and dogma that hold us set in a certain behavior,

The very next thing that must happen is that we must defend our box because if anyone comes into this space,

Oh my gosh,

They might disrupt the status quo,

The harmony,

The pretence that we have created.

So then we come into separation,

Defending,

Deflecting,

Denying,

Distracting,

Detaching,

Destroying and the whole world starts to play more and more in the great experience of duality and pain,

Separation,

Conflict,

Inability to hold diversity,

To embrace all life because we're so terrified of being blamed and shamed.

We're so terrified of taking a leap into something and defining ourself in a way that has not yet been defined or seen or known or even acknowledged.

How can anything new come in if we don't leave any space for that new thing?

If there is nothing new coming in,

Then really right now all we have is what we have until we completely annihilate it,

Until we ruin our earth completely,

Break and destroy each other completely.

The only way that something different is going to come in is if we open up these spaces,

Be willing to open into a much higher awareness,

To love and embrace things that are different,

No longer blame and shame people for being different.

We want to make a difference in this life.

The only way we're going to do that is if we are different and we are willing to embrace it.

We're not worrying about looking over our shoulder to see who's going to persecute us,

Who's going to condemn or punish us because we're just showing up in the way that is truthful to our own being.

Right there is the magic ingredient,

Truthful to this being.

You can so easily see when someone's just putting on a show to fit into a certain group.

I think we all do that when we're teenagers,

Don't we?

It's like,

Oh,

You want to be the cool one,

So you must get those outrageous bell bottoms.

When I was a teenager,

We had these bell bottoms.

It was so wide at the bottom that you could just fall over them all the time.

Your foot caught the other foot caught,

You could trip all the time,

But they were so gorgeous,

Especially if they were checked.

They had to turn up.

I think about it now,

I could absolutely die of embarrassment,

But we thought we were so gorgeous and we had to fit in and we all had to be the same because if we were the same,

We all looked the same,

We all looked the same kind of cool,

We weren't different.

It was an accepted look and so we felt safe because everyone said,

Well,

That's okay,

You can do that,

But heaven forbid you were the child who said,

That doesn't work for me or your body didn't look so cute and heaven forbid you were the one that was different,

Not so easy.

Blamed and shamed,

Ostracized,

Pushed aside.

The pain,

The pain,

The pain.

When we look around at the world and we see the mess,

We see all the stories that are erupting,

The very first thing we ought to do is just stop in the space of what is.

As you hold the space of what is,

Imagine that we can open our hearts and ask for an awareness of what's going on here.

Remember those magic words where we say,

I wonder,

I wonder what's going on here.

I wonder what is happening.

I wonder what the pain is in the space.

I wonder what is hurting in this treasure.

If we just start playing the game,

The pursuing and pushing game and begin to settle down,

Trust your being that it's going to be okay just as you are.

Then we step into this part of us that is so deeply authentic.

It's the richness of who we are as being of light and love.

Being diverse,

Being different is the exact gift that this world is waiting for.

It's the exact antidote to the story of pain.

If we can release our blaming and shaming of others just as dearly as we would love to be released from that as the ones who are the recipients of it.

If we could remember that in blaming and shaming,

It goes both ways.

Those who will blame and those who feel blamed or shamed,

Judged,

Persecuted.

This energy must stop because the next shift of our human story brings us into peace and harmony,

Oneness,

Kindness,

Tolerance,

Acceptance,

Collaboration,

Cooperation.

That it cannot look a certain way,

My lovelies.

It has to be open to something completely different and there is our challenge right there.

Could we make a little bit more space for things that might seem so ridiculous and outrageous?

But knowing that it is the pushing down of the walls that requires a little extravagant effort.

So let that effort,

Let that courage push down all those barriers and then equilibrium comes in.

It is the truth of the harmony of the universe.

Everything comes back to perfect balance.

We look at a teeter-totter and we look at the movement on a pendulum and it shoots out and back and out and back and eventually it comes in to a perfect swing.

Some of you I'm sure have seen when they've taken pictures of these beautiful pendulums on strings,

These little balls on string and they've filmed it from the top.

That you see the momentum,

You see a click,

Click,

Click and going back and forth and then comes the time when it starts to work together in harmony.

It's too wonderful.

There is a divine design and we're living in it.

The divine design is and we are.

It is our blaming and judging,

Criticizing that is hurting this design from being known,

Seen,

Felt and experienced in all its potential.

So let's do this now.

Make an oath to you,

Just to your own being,

That never again will you blame and shame and disregard your being.

Never again my love.

Make that oath to you and see how that goes.

See how easy it is to slip back into a formula that we've been playing in for hundreds and thousands of years.

Train your being to move out of the blaming,

Shaming,

Disregarding,

Persecuting,

Separating energy.

To find the harmony and the peace,

The acceptance,

The love and the kindness.

The two sit right next to each other,

My lovelies,

Right next to each other.

Because you can see that you know something else.

You activate that something else.

Can we do that my treasures?

Can we find a way to hold this energy but in a whole new way?

It will be the most wonderful gift we could ever give ourselves.

Let's take a deep breath into that.

Long slow out breath.

Just be here,

Be in your being.

Put your hands on your heart.

Just say to your being,

Remember who you are.

Feel the love and the graciousness and the kindness of you asking your being to remember who you are.

You hold that,

See how it goes for you.

Remember that all these trauma signals,

I'm posting them as we finish and as soon as they're published,

They will be found on Insight Timer.

You can go through them one by one.

It's such a good idea.

Empty it out.

Keep coming back and empty it out.

Empty it out.

If we don't do the work,

It won't be done.

You do it,

My lovely,

And you will see what we create.

So much love to you.

Thank you for you.

Reviews

This was absolutely life changing. I have added this to me daily meditations. 🙏🏻❤️

This resonates with me deeply and bears listening to again so I can uproot these beliefs. Such important work towards healing. Much love 💗 dear Joy. Thank you. 🙏🏼

There’s a line between shaming/blaming and having a conversation about feelings/hurts. Hard to have conversations with people that reject/judge so I remain silent. I just try to be kind and keep it peaceful.. But is it enabling their behavior when certain things are not addressed?
Thank you for your kind words and wisdom, dear one.
💜🤍💜