Let's practice.
To begin,
Find a quiet and comfortable space without distraction.
Find a position that helps you stay alert but comfortable.
Your eyes can be opened with a soft gaze on one spot or closed.
Please take care of yourself during this guided practice if it becomes too intense for you.
If you move out of your challenge zone,
Try opening your eyes and looking around your space,
Listening to the sounds in the room,
Or feeling how your body is supported by the chair or whatever surface you're sitting or lying on.
Take a moment to settle in and feel your breath or listen to the sounds in your space.
If you choose the breath,
Pay attention to the part of your body where your breath feels most comfortable for you.
That could be at your nostrils,
Belly,
Or the rise and fall of your shoulders.
Pay attention to that one place and take a few breaths,
Feeling your breath.
Let any thoughts you might have fade away.
If your mind wanders,
That's okay.
Gently bring yourself back to the present moment and put your attention on your breath or sounds.
Continue to breathe naturally.
Invite your inner teenager into your awareness.
The center family member is welcome here,
Whether they're combative or cautious,
Tired or lively,
Clear to you or murky.
Notice how you feel as you open to this part of yourself.
Thank your inner teenager for protecting the inner child all these years.
Thank them for being here now.
Ask if they're willing to share with you what they want to protect the little one from.
How do they try to do that?
How does your inner teen respond?
Make room for silence if they prefer not to answer.
If they share something,
Thank them for sharing it with you.
Can you understand how desperately they've been trying to avoid pain?
How outraged they feel at not being seen,
Heard,
Supported,
Respected or valued?
How resentful they are at everyone who has failed them?
How alone and hopeless they felt?
Let them know that you wish it had been different for them back in the family,
That you understand why they've been doing what they've been doing.
Reflect for a moment on how your inner teen has been working for many years to protect the inner child,
To defend them,
To distract them from unpleasant feelings.
Even if your inner teen's behavior has unpleasant or isolating consequences,
You can begin to see that their heart is in the right place.
They may not even like playing this role in your inner family,
But they believe that they must in order to ward off pain.
Maybe they react at times because they want you,
Their loving parent,
To honor their inner knowing,
To set boundaries,
To rely on trustworthy individuals,
To ask for help and to be a healthy adult voice for them and the inner child.
Maybe they're tired of fighting and being hyper vigilant.
Maybe they're frustrated by all the people who don't show up for them and who they think they need to manage.
Deep down they might just want to relax and trust you to lead and take care of the inner family as a loving parent.
Ask them what kind of support they need from you.
See if it's possible to support them in these ways in your everyday life the best you can.
Let them know that you'll be there to listen as they express all that they've bottled up inside.
Reassure them that they can choose when to connect with you and when not to.
It's okay if they don't trust you yet.
You will wait until they're ready.
You're never leaving.
See if it's possible to keep your heart open to your inner teen,
Whether they connected with you during this practice or not.
Thank them for visiting with you and for their courage.
Check in with how you're feeling as this practice comes to a close.
Take a few deep breaths.
When you're ready,
Open your eyes or lift your gaze and connect with the world around you.
