Contemplating Death To Lead A Happier Life

The fear of death is a universal human experience that we often avoid, even though reflecting on our death allows us to clarify our values, cherish meaningful experiences, and guide us to live more authentically and fully.

In this meditation, you'll be guided through a meditation, a visualization, and affirmations to deepen your awareness of life's impermanence and use this clarity to guide your life in the present.

Transcript

Hi and welcome to this contemplation on death to lead a happier life.

One of fear's essential functions is to keep the unknown at bay.

And what greater unknown is there than what awaits us after our death?

Fear of death is thus a normal human experience,

But many of us would rather distract ourselves from ever thinking about this prospect or postpone it to later circumstances.

However,

We never actually know when our life might come to an end,

And in our avoidance we deny ourselves the profoundly life-enhancing effects that come from contemplating our death.

Indeed,

As many people who've gone through near-death experiences report,

When they surrendered to the inevitability of their immediate death and then were granted more life,

They re-emerged with a sharper perspective and deeper appreciation for the blessing of life.

Fortunately,

We don't have to endure such an extreme experience to reap the same psychological benefits.

The simple act of periodically reminding ourselves that our time on earth is limited is in itself a powerful way to enrich our lives.

It can help us to gain clarity on the values we want to live by,

To find the courage to face our fears of the unknown,

And to remind ourselves of the preciousness of this present moment.

Death contemplation also invites us to view our individual lives in the wider context and to serve values that stretch beyond our personal interests.

Or in the words of Saint Francis of Assisi,

Remember that when you leave this earth,

You take with you nothing that you have received,

Only what you have given.

One way to do this is to imagine ourselves at the very end of our lives and to look back on our time alive.

From this perspective,

We can determine if we would have any regrets and use this information as valuable input to orient our lives in the present.

The nurse and author Bronnie Ware,

Through her hundreds of conversations with dying patients,

Identified five of the most common regrets.

The wish to have lived truer to oneself,

To have not worked so hard,

To have expressed one's feelings,

To have stayed in touch with friends,

And to have let oneself be happier.

From this contemplation,

We gain a fresh perspective on what it means for ourselves to have lived our lives to the fullest,

And we're reminded to cherish the experiences and people that feel the most meaningful and precious to us in our daily lives.

That's what we'll be practicing in today's meditation.

Start by settling into a comfortable position,

Creating conditions for you to be both relaxed and attentive.

Allow your spine to naturally lengthen,

Finding a posture that feels effortless.

Take a deep breath in through your nose,

Allowing yourself to be relaxed.

Allowing it to fill your entire body,

Then exhale slowly.

With each exhale,

Release any obvious tension you may notice,

Perhaps in the face,

The shoulders,

Or hands.

Now,

Gently close your eyes and mouth,

Breathing steadily through your nose.

As you become still,

Focus your attention on an anchor for this meditation,

Perhaps the sensation of the breath entering and leaving your nostrils,

The gentle rise and fall of your chest,

Or the subtle movements of your abdomen.

If you notice your mind has wandered during this practice,

Know that it's natural.

Simply acknowledge the distraction,

And gently guide your focus back to your chosen anchor,

Here in the present moment.

Observe your breath with a sense of curiosity,

As if exploring it for the first time.

Take a moment to scan your body,

Noticing any sensations or feelings without judgment or attachment.

As you continue to breathe,

Allow your breath to naturally slow down,

Feeling each inhale and exhale with greater ease and depth.

Notice how with each breath,

A sense of calmness and tranquility fills you,

Softening any remaining tension or stress.

Remain in this state of mindful awareness,

Allowing yourself to simply be.

Now imagine that you arrive at the end of your life,

Right before transitioning from life to death.

As you realize these are your final moments,

You have a chance to look back on your life,

And to reflect on the life you've lived,

And how it has changed you.

As you enter this contemplation,

See if you can allow whatever images or feelings emerge,

Without needing to make immediate sense of them.

Simply be present to your moment to moment,

And allow yourself to be present to your moment to moment.

As you allow yourself to be present to your moment to moment,

Allow yourself to be present to your moment to moment.

Without needing to make immediate sense of them,

Simply be present to your moment to moment experience,

As you ponder the following questions.

What could you have done to let yourself live truer to your heart?

What would you have wanted to say no to?

What would you have wished to enjoy more?

Where did you hold back on expressing yourself more fully to others?

Who would you have liked to spend more time with?

What would you have liked to give yourself permission to try?

Here and now,

With every inhale,

Call to your body a feeling of compassion for yourself,

And of acceptance for any regrets that may have appeared.

Now consider your current life as if you were given the chance to experience life once again,

So as not to have a single regret when it ends.

Observe what your life would look like,

If you lived it with full awareness that everything will go away eventually.

Imagine living a life that is true to your heart,

And allow any images of people,

Places and activities to come to mind.

Here and now,

With each inhale,

Bring to your body the feeling of fulfillment of living your life to the fullest.

Now,

Once again,

Imagine that you're at the end of your life,

But this time you look back with the feeling that you've given it your all,

That you've honoured your true aspirations.

Imagine how peaceful your face looks,

With a smile of contentment and a feeling of gratitude and bliss.

Allow the faces of all the people that brought you happiness in your life to pass in front of you.

Recall the moments of joy and happiness that you've had in your life.

Allow the sights,

Sounds and smells of your happiest moments to permeate your experience.

Imagine the moments of joy and happiness that you've had in your life.

Allow the faces of all the people that brought you happiness in your life to pass in front of you.

Allow the sights,

Sounds and smells of your happiest moments to permeate your experience.

Here and now,

With every inhale,

Bring to your body a feeling of gratitude for the life you lived.

We're now going to focus on three affirmations to help you live your life to the fullest.

First affirmation,

My awareness of death helps me to overcome my fears.

Second affirmation,

My awareness of impermanence reminds me that life is precious.

Third affirmation,

Each new day is a new opportunity to follow my dreams.

As you prepare to transition back to the external world,

Gently bring your awareness back to your surroundings.

Begin by tuning in to the sounds that surround you,

Allowing them to anchor you in the present moment.

Feel the weight of your body supported by the surface beneath you,

Grounding you in the here and now.

And when you feel ready,

With a sense of gratitude for this time you've dedicated to yourself,

Gently open your eyes to let the light in.

Take a moment to let the light in on the surface of your body.

Take a moment to appreciate the stillness and peace you've cultivated within,

Knowing that you can return to this inner sanctuary whenever you need.

I hope today's meditation felt meaningful.

Have a great rest of the day,

And I'll see you next time for a new meditation.

Reviews

Thank you!

This is exactly what I needed.

Jonathan, this was outstanding, a 100-year-old cousin died yesterday and she was full of life and resilience. Your comments helped me a great deal, thank you very much, Wayne

I really like your style and method. I'll be checking out more of your work. I have a friend who could benefit from these meditations but getting him past the 'I don't relate to meditation' thinking will be the hardest obstacle to getting him into Insight Timer.