We're going to be here for a few minutes,
So get comfy.
Breathe in and out.
Breathe in and out.
Now on my count,
Breathe in,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Pause,
Pause.
Breathe out.
Two,
Three,
Four,
Five,
Six.
Breathe in.
Two,
Three,
Four,
Pause,
Pause.
Breathe out.
Two,
Three,
Four,
Five,
Six.
Breathe twice more on your own,
Breathe in.
Think about the last time you were hard on yourself for something.
Maybe you said something embarrassing or you didn't do something you were supposed to do.
Maybe you hated your body.
Think back to the most recent time that the self-critic had the floor.
What did you say to yourself in that moment?
Maybe you called yourself gross or weak or you just felt hopeless.
I used to tell myself that it was pathetic,
That I couldn't stick to a diet,
And that the idea that I could ever look nice was a joke.
This isn't easy,
But I want you to think about that voice you have inside that says those things,
That inner critic.
Don't worry about how bad the inner critic is right now,
Just identify it.
Recall some of the things it said,
How it said them.
Now let's imagine that voice and those words as a big ball floating about two feet in front of you.
Give it a color,
Whatever color pops into your mind first,
Red,
Purple,
Yellow,
White.
Imagine this ball sounding like your inner critic,
Saying things your inner critic says.
It might be loud,
It might be whispering.
How does your inner critic talk to you?
Now I want you to think about what that voice is actually trying to do for you.
It's probably trying to help you in some way,
Even though it's doing it in the wrong way.
Maybe that voice is trying to push you to stick to an eating plan for your physical health.
Or maybe it's trying to help you let go of an eating plan that's too restrictive,
Too punishing.
Maybe your inner critic is being hard on you because it wants to make sure you are accepted and loved.
Maybe it's trying to make sure you live the life you want.
Explore your inner critic's motivations for a moment.
If you want to,
Put your hand on your chest just above your heart.
Feel any warmth from your chest on the skin of your hand and any warmth from your hand on the skin of your chest.
And just extend a little compassion for that voice.
Picture the ball in front of you and remember that voice is trying to give you a good life.
But the only way it knows how to do that is by being cruel and mean.
When I was telling myself that I was disgusting,
It was awful.
But it was some part of me that was trying to shame myself into changing so that I would be accepted.
I was sick of feeling like an outsider,
Like I didn't belong in my body,
Like I wasn't desirable.
And my harsh inner critic was trying to pressure me in all the wrong ways to change my life.
It was the wrong approach,
But it actually came from a place of just wanting to fit in.
Underneath my inner critic was a sensitive person who deeply wanted to feel included and loved,
Not othered and ostracized.
We live in a culture that values perfection and being better all the time.
It's easy to feel like if you're not doing things exactly right,
Then you're wrong or bad or you don't deserve acceptance.
The inner critic is more of a reflection of our culture and the environment we grew up in,
Than it is about us and who we are.
You aren't a mean and cruel person.
You're just trying to belong,
To feel loved,
To feel accepted,
Do things right,
Be your best.
And just like you would for a friend,
Find some kindness for that scared ball in front of you,
That voice that's criticizing you.
See that there's pain in there,
That there's part of the inner critic that really cares for you and wants the best for you.
It's just doing it in a way that isn't kind.
There's nothing wrong with you for having an inner critic.
We all have one.
We're all walking around every day with a ball containing self judgment and criticism.
Nobody,
Not one single person on earth has let go of their ball.
You're no different from anyone else.
Let's breathe.
Take a deep breath in and let it out.
Notice how your body feels right now.
Noticing the sensations one by one,
Allowing them to be just as they are,
Allowing yourself to be just as you are in this moment.
Take a deep breath.
Inhale and exhale.
Inhale and exhale.
Wiggle your fingers.
Wiggle your toes.
And when you're ready,
Open your eyes.
