So,
Welcome to this selves inside episode.
And this episode is on what we could call the being self,
Or being selves.
And what we're talking about with a being self is that part of us that without having to be a long-term meditator,
Or having to be in the forest,
Or eating psychedelics,
The part of us that knows how to be.
That aspect of us that already has access to that quality that we call beingness,
That knows how to just flow in the moment,
That part of us that can take in a flower,
Can be lost in a piece of music,
That part of us that forgets about time and slips into delicious expansive self-forgetting spaces.
The being self.
And the being self,
I think,
Is catalyzed by meditation,
Catalyzed by being in nature,
Catalyzed by healthy lovemaking,
Catalyzed by psychedelics.
Very much it can be sparked and brought forth in our lives from these things and other activities,
Of course.
But it's not dependent on them.
And that's why I'm saying catalyzed.
It's almost as if these different practices and activities remind us of something we always have access to.
And more than being that which makes the state of being,
They create the context for it to come forward,
That which already is in us to come forward.
Being selves,
Especially in a culture like ours,
Which is so production-oriented,
Which is so focused on doing and accomplishing,
So occupied with FOMO,
Being selves are simply not caught up in productivity.
They're not concerned about the to-do list.
Their value system is not about accomplishment.
They exist outside of that way of seeing and being all together.
For a being self,
The moment is its own reward.
For a being self,
Just to exist and attend to whatever is happening is already a fulfillment.
I think we are sometimes afraid of this part of ourselves because it's so delicious,
It's very accessible,
It's free,
And we wonder how we can reconcile this and all the stress and forward leaning we do,
All the list-making we do in order to find happiness in the future.
The being self is not about the future,
The being selves are not forward leaning and so they're relaxed.
They're not ambitious because they don't have anything to get.
It's such a gift,
This mode of existence,
This part of ourselves,
Such a gift and all the more so in our cultural context.
One of the things we lose when we lose access or do not make enough conditions for the being self to come forward is we lose access to beauty.
You could have yourself in the most beautiful gallery with the most beautiful man in the most lovely national park and you can be so preoccupied with what's going to come next,
With planning,
With making sure you get all the activities in,
With have you been texted,
All of the ways we become preoccupied.
All of that can so capture our minds that these situations that we so desire,
Art,
Nature,
A beautiful person,
Whatever,
We actually don't have access to the beauty that they hold.
We are not available to the beauty.
The beauty cannot overwhelm or often cannot overwhelm our concerns and our compulsive thinking about the future.
Beauty needs us to slow down enough in order to really penetrate us.
On the other hand,
There are activities that are a gateway into being selves and I think most of us have one and we love it.
Maybe you get lost in horse racing or maybe sexuality is a time for you that you enter to some degree the being selves.
Maybe it's watching your favorite Netflix show.
Maybe it's your morning walk.
And these activities are precious and sometimes they are potent enough for us that it overwhelms our worrying and it is stronger than our compulsive thinking about the future and our desire to be useful and productive.
And that's very precious.
But we don't want to have to depend on those activities.
For example,
For myself,
Having practiced with these modes of being,
The being self,
For long enough,
I can access it in the midst of working.
I can tap into that energy while I'm doing some other activity that does involve planning,
That does involve being productive.
So we don't want the being self to be dependent on only one particular activity because then we narrow our access to it.
So what are some ways that we can begin to access the being self more frequently,
Free it up from just one or two activities?
My first suggestion is to notice the state of body and nervous system and mind that comes forth in the activities that currently give you access.
So for example,
If for you it's being in nature,
Feel the texture of that being quality in your body.
Feel the energy,
Feel the way it is seeing and orienting towards the moment and get to know that texture very well.
And then once you know that texture,
Find that texture in yourself outside of,
In this instance,
The nature experience.
In other words,
You can feel into your core of calm at any time.
But what really helps that is knowing what the frequency is.
What's the vibration of that core of calm for you?
Once you really isolate that,
Get clear on what that is,
Then you can dial into it simply through intention.
Just feel into that dimension of yourself,
Even on the subway,
Even in traffic,
Even in argument.
Really it's possible because it's always there.
So that's one aspect is getting to know its essence and practicing tapping into it in different situations that you normally wouldn't.
And another way to make more room for the being self in your life,
And this is a suggestion that I'm happy to give because for me it has reduced a lot of stress and unhappiness,
Is to study how often your mind is planning for the future and it doesn't need to be.
How often is,
For example,
A worrier self animating you,
Worrying about something,
When really you could relax about that activity?
How often,
In other words,
Does planning become not prudent and responsible,
But compulsive?
Begin to notice how often that happens and then through awareness start to interrupt that compulsive planning.
Start to interrupt that disaster assuming.
And by gradually reducing the amount of future thinking you do,
You leave room for the be being self to just emerge.
You're not focusing on the future,
You're not caught up in anxiety about getting something done,
And because it's a fundamental dimension of your existence,
The being selves,
They want to shine through and they're more likely to when we give them a little room.
So I hope this was helpful and if you would like some help in being more in touch with your being selves,
Please feel free to reach out to me and I'd be delighted to be an ally in that with you.
Take care.
