The mindfulness tool,
Called RAIN,
Is an incredibly powerful way to care for ourselves in tough times,
Even in the heat of the moment.
But it's also a wonderful opportunity for the quiet contemplation required to understand why we are triggered.
Remember if there's an unhealed trauma revealed by that trigger,
And nurture our needs.
After all,
We can only meet our needs if we sit quietly long enough to recognize them.
And often when our cup is full,
In other words,
Our needs are met,
We will find ourselves less triggered anyway.
This is your chance to be your own best friend.
To actively care for yourself with compassion.
You are worthy of your time as you walk yourself through all of life's challenges.
RAIN stands for Recognize,
Allow,
Investigate,
Nurture.
You can use RAIN with any experience or any emotion,
But especially those that feel stressful or challenging.
So let's begin by sitting comfortably and taking a few cleansing deep breaths.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
And once more,
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Okay,
Now just allow your breath to go back to its natural rhythm.
Let's start by gently closing your eyes and bringing your awareness to your present experience.
Give yourself a moment to notice what you feel in your body and any thoughts that are occurring in your mind.
If you are currently experiencing or recalling something that feels difficult,
Let's simply start with the R in RAIN which stands for Recognize.
Recognize the emotion.
Can you give it a label?
Anger?
Sadness?
Loneliness?
See the thoughts coming into your head.
Feel the sensations in the body.
And notice the critical inner voice you often hear.
There is no space for judgement in RAIN.
Instead,
I want you to try to just observe what is going on for you right now.
In mindfulness we talk about Name it to Tame it because simply recognizing and labeling our experience can have such a powerful grounding effect.
Now let's move to the next phase.
Allow.
With unpleasant emotions our habit is to try to get rid of these experiences.
When we push away instead of allowing we might judge ourselves for our emotion and that leads to guilt or we might deny that these feelings even exist.
We might numb ourselves by distracting or we resort to blaming others.
This time we are not going to try to push it away.
We will allow it completely.
We do not deny our physical need of thirst.
So why should we deny our emotional need of self-compassion when life is challenging us?
Allowing means that we stop resisting the experience and accept it as it is.
So acknowledge everything that comes up for you physically and emotionally.
Accept it all completely.
Be present with it.
You may like to think of a simple phrase of acceptance.
For example,
Right now I am feeling like this.
Continue to work with acceptance for a few moments bringing the mind back when it starts pushing the difficulty away.
Now we are onto the I part of RAIN.
Get curious as you explore how you are feeling in detail.
Ask yourself where you feel vulnerable.
How does this emotion feel in your body?
Have you had this feeling before?
If so,
When?
Why do you think this has come up for you?
Do you think that you can be free of this feeling?
For the final few moments we are in the Nurture phase of RAIN.
Now I want you to nurture yourself with self-compassion.
Give yourself what you need in this moment.
Remember that you deserve gentle loving compassion.
So now,
Tend to your own pain with awareness.
Can you think of some things that you can do for yourself today that can nourish you in this time of need?
Take a few moments now to think of what you can do and then set an intention to do it.
I'd like us to end this exercise by offering yourself a few phrases of compassion.
If you like,
You can repeat these after me.
I will get through this.
I can cope with challenges.
I am strong and resilient.
I care for myself as I care for others.
I give myself love right now.
I understand my needs and set a plan to meet them.
Thank you for taking the time to do this RAIN exercise with me today.
And the more you do it,
The more it becomes second nature.
