This exercise is about parts,
Self,
And the nervous system.
Neurodivergent people often have high levels of anxiety and depression.
From a parts perspective,
We can understand anxiety and depression as extreme strategies used by parts to protect us.
While these parts may use these strategies to protect even more vulnerable parts,
They may also be trying to protect our nervous systems,
As our nervous systems tend to be more sensitive and more easily tipped over into imbalance just by living everyday life.
Autistic IFS practitioner Sarah Burgenfield has suggested that we can see the nervous system as a body of water in which self and parts are floating.
You might be able to imagine that your self and parts are floating in a boat on this body of water that is the nervous system.
A more regulated nervous system is like a calm pond and is easier to navigate.
At other times,
The nervous system may be a stormy sea and self is struggling right alongside the parts to navigate.
There is fight,
Flight,
Hypervigilance,
Frenetic activity,
Anxiety.
At other times,
The boat is frozen in place.
There is exhaustion,
Overwhelm,
Depression.
The question is,
How can we spend more time on the calm pond than on the stormy seas or in the frozen pond?
Is there a way for self and parts to collaborate to ensure that their boat is more often in calm waters?
Can there be greater collaboration between self and parts even when the water gets choppy or frozen so that parts don't feel like they have to carry all of the work by themselves?
In this exercise,
I invite you to get curious about your depressed or anxious parts and spend some time with them from a place of compassion,
Making sure that the parts know that the system as a whole is neurodivergent.
I invite you to start with a somatic exercise.
You can do anywhere at any time,
Eyes open or closed,
Whatever feels best.
The invitation is to no judgment,
No shame,
No blame.
We are checking in,
Tracking and noticing our nervous system,
Which exists to keep us safe.
So please just take a moment to scan your body to see what you notice about your nervous system.
The nervous system is designed to protect us and has several major protectors.
These protectors may include anxious parts or depressed parts.
Is there one of those parts around right now?
How does this part show up in your system?
Would it like to spend some time with you?
If you notice more than one part,
Try to focus on one part at a time.
See if there is one that needs more attention than the others in this moment and ask if the other parts would be willing to take turns,
Relax back or stay by your side for the moment.
See if there's an activated part,
A nervous part,
An anxious part.
Maybe its strategy is fight,
Flight or fawn.
Or maybe there's an overwhelmed part,
Exhausted part or depressed part.
Maybe its strategy is to freeze.
Without trying to change this part,
Or maybe working with your nervous system,
Just see if you can notice how this part shows up.
Is it in the body?
Via any of the five senses?
As a color,
Smell,
Taste or texture?
Any way is okay.
See if this part can feel you feeling it.
Does it react in any way?
You may want to take some notes about how it's showing up,
About how you sense it or visualize it or hear it.
If there are judging parts or shaming parts or blaming parts,
Ask them if they are okay to give you enough space to notice this other part.
Reassure them that you will come back to them later if that reassurance feels authentic.
If they can give you space,
Extend some thanks and appreciation to them for doing so.
If they can't step back,
Let them become your target part and get to know them instead.
Now that you have a part to get to know,
Just notice how you feel toward this part.
If anyone is struggling to find the courage or curiosity to get to know this part,
Please ask any parts that are afraid or angry to move to a safe place for a few moments.
If they don't feel comfortable doing that,
Then see how you feel toward them and let them be the part you get to know.
Whatever your target part now,
Extend any interest or curiosity in its direction.
Ask it,
What would you like me to know about you?
Let it know if whatever it shares makes sense to you.
Let it know that you appreciate it for showing up and sharing.
See if the part is able to notice your presence.
Does it know who you are?
Does it see you as you are now or as you were as a child?
Is the part living in the present with you or in the past?
You might want to update the part and see if it can absorb the update.
Is the part curious about you?
Does the part have questions for you?
Do they want to say more about who they are and what they do?
Do they want to say more about their job in your system?
Appreciate the part for the job it's trying to do.
See if the part can take in your appreciation.
Notice if anything has changed internally in terms of how you feel.
Maybe,
For example,
The part has softened.
See if there's more the part wants to tell you.
Extend some appreciation to the part if that feels okay.
Let the part know about any recent realizations or discoveries you've made about being neurodivergent or about having grown older and having more or less capacity.
See if the part can see you.
Let the part know you're here for it and that you want to help.
See if it can share what it worries might happen if it didn't do its job.
If it's a part associated with your nervous system,
Then its job is very important.
We're not trying to take its job away,
So reassure it that you understand how important its job is.
See if the part wants to continue to operate in the past,
Or if it wants to join you in 2025,
Where it might be easier.
See if the part understands what it means to be neurodivergent for you.
Answer any questions the part might have and offer as much compassion as you can for the part's hard work under these conditions of being neurodivergent.
See if the part has anything else to share.
Let it know if what it's shared makes sense.
Respond with your honest appreciation.
Thank the part for all it has shared.
Let it know this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship where you can work together to create more ease in the system.
Thank you.
