Welcome to day four.
I'm so happy that you're sticking to it and installing this meditation habit.
You will not regret it.
Let's go a little deeper with a clip from Alice in Wonderland.
Who are you?
Said the caterpillar.
This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation.
Alice replied rather shyly.
I hardly know,
Sir.
Just a present.
At least I know who I was when I got up this morning.
But I think I must have been changed several times since then.
What do you mean by that?
Said the caterpillar sternly.
Explain yourself.
I can't explain myself,
I'm afraid,
Sir.
Said Alice.
Because I'm not myself,
You see.
I don't see,
Said the caterpillar.
I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,
Alice replied very politely.
For I can understand it myself to begin with.
And being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.
Who are you,
After all?
Just like Alice,
You are many different sizes with diverging interests and wild swings of mood and desire.
Your experience inside is not always what you play on the outside.
But you're asked to play a unified character.
The character that you play is the story of you,
What I call the small you.
The small you is the subject of your thoughts.
Ego is in charge of your thoughts.
Your ego writes,
Curates and cultivates the story of the small you.
It is what binds together the wild,
Multifaceted you into a seemingly unified whole.
The ego wants you in action,
Fixing problems,
Strengthening the story of the small you.
Once fixed,
Ego thinks all will be well.
How has that worked out so far?
This is why meditation and being in the present moment has such an allure.
If we can become truly present,
Even just for a moment and rest in awareness,
Thought falls away.
Do you know what else falls away?
You.
Without your story,
With all its defects and insufficiencies,
There's a deeper experience available.
Without your story,
You are no longer interested in making this moment different or better than it is.
Without the confines of your story,
You are free to rewrite,
Make revisions or simply let it go.
We will go deeper into this topic and the profound application it has for eliciting joy,
Opening up creativity and possibility,
As well as relieving suffering.
So let's get on with today's meditation.
Once again,
Get comfortable.
Sitting with your back straight,
Your legs crossed or your feet on the floor.
Feeling into your body.
Noticing any discomfort.
Starting to focus on your breath.
Taking a breath in and out.
As you focus on your breath,
Filling your belly,
Filling your chest cavity and then releasing the hold.
We will also focus on ourself.
As you breathe in and out.
Ask yourself the perennial question.
Who are you?
Or as you might ask yourself,
Who am I?
As you go through your day to day,
Bring this question with you.
Who am I?
Taking a breath in.
Breathing out.
Am I this breath?
Breathing in.
Breathing out.
Feeling into our bodies,
Into our back,
Into our legs,
Into our neck and our shoulders.
Am I these parts of my body?
Breathing in.
And breathing out.
Noticing the intrusion of thought.
The desire of your ego to get your attention and bring you back to solving problems.
Breathing in and focusing all of your attention on the breath.
Breathing out.
As we bring ourselves back from the thought to the breath,
We let go of our story for a moment.
We let go of the small self.
Breathing in.
And breathing out.
Breathing in.
And breathing out.
Allowing ourselves to rest in the awareness that is.
Noticing the feelings in the body.
Starting to look and see where you can find yourself.
Breathing in.
And breathing out.
Where is this so-called self?
When we're not engaged in thought.
When we're focused on the breath.
When we focus our attention on our bodies.
Who is doing that?
Breathing in.
And breathing out.
Resting for a moment in awareness.
The space beyond thought is a deeper aspect of ourselves.
Not our small self.
But a much larger and more profound aspect of who we are.
Which we'll talk about tomorrow.
For today,
Take the question with you.
Who am I?
And for now,
Congratulate yourself on another day of completed meditation.
