One of the hardest things to do as we age,
Especially for those of us raised to be high achievers,
Is letting go of our accomplishments.
What we have done in our lives,
What is on our resumes,
So often is imbued with an emotional power.
We feel these accomplishments represent us in some ineffable way,
Even as they might not ever seem to be quite enough.
And yet as we age,
And as we move into the next phase of our lives,
We may find that as these accomplishments recede into our past,
They acquire a more ephemeral quality.
And herein lies a challenge.
How do we make peace with what we have done,
With the knowledge that this is all we will do for that part of our lives that defined us for so long?
If we try to hold on to our accomplishments,
Insist on their importance,
We will no doubt become frustrated.
Others are unlikely to see their importance quite as we have,
And even if they did,
What can they do?
They have their own aims,
Their own ambitions.
There is an additional element to letting go of accomplishments.
For some of us,
Or perhaps most of us,
This also means letting go of controlling our legacy,
The lasting impact of what we have done,
Accepting that what we have done may not last and may instead fade.
Can we resist the desire to cling?
If we did innovative work,
Even at a small scale,
We know that the work was good and served others well.
As compassionate people,
We wish those benefits to accrue,
To be there for future generations.
Isn't that part of our ethos?
We believe we were adding to the growing good of the world,
And therefore we're living,
In this case at least,
A virtuous life.
What to make of a life if the accomplishments fade and the benefits cease?
Can we accept that what we have done may not survive,
That our lives and our accomplishments are temporary?
But the root of this desire to hold on,
To cling,
Is of course an egoic fear,
Fear of our own insignificance,
Of the insubstantial,
Of nothingness.
The search for meaning,
In Viktor Frankl's words,
Is inherent in the human experience.
There is no easy answer to this.
Only through a mindful awareness of our longing to hold on to our past accomplishments,
Our desire to be validated by what we have done,
Can we soften its hold so that we might eventually release our accomplishments to the stream of our lives.
What is past is past.
We added to the world's store of good in our time.
That was enough.
What is here now?
Let's take a few moments to reflect upon our efforts to let go of our accomplishments,
To accept that we have done enough and that it is good enough.
And let us reflect upon our fear that what we have accomplished may fade.
Let's bathe with compassion our sense of holding on and see it for what it is,
A part of the transition into the next phase of adulthood,
Which makes space for a new way of being.
Let's take a few moments.
Thank you,
Friends.
I hope this reflection and brief meditation has been pleasant and helpful.
I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Be well.
