Metta Mondays - May 30, 2022
Metta meditation uses words, images, and feelings to evoke feelings of compassion and friendliness. It is a method of developing unconditional love and acceptance toward oneself and others. A regular Metta practice can function to soften one’s relationship with overwhelmingly afflictive mind states so that we can avoid succumbing completely to their energies.
Transcript
This is MetaMunday,
And welcome to Being Human.
Before we start with our grounding practice,
As always,
Please allow me to remind you that as humans,
We have powerful thought-generating machines sitting inside our skulls.
Expecting them to stop throwing out ideas and suggestions would be like trying to stop the rain from falling in Victoria by standing outside and shaking your fist into the sky.
The rain may in fact stop,
But as a student of economics in a past life,
I can't help but repeat the phrase,
Correlation does not equal causation.
In our short grounding practice,
Remember your mind will wander and overthrow ideas.
It's not our job to prevent these thoughts,
But to simply allow them to appear and dissipate through the simple act of acknowledging them without self-judgment or effort.
We often use an anchor during our practice,
And this is something that gives our mind to pay attention to.
Ideally,
It would be something simple,
Often our breath.
For some people,
Focusing on their breath can feel less than ideal or even uncomfortable,
So there's other things such as you can tap a toe,
Because to have a clock that ticks,
Focus on that,
Use that as your anchor.
It's essentially something that you use to allow your mind to return to once you've noticed it's wandered.
Much of the benefits of meditation come from when we do notice that our minds have wandered or have been distracted by a thought and then returned to our anchor,
Whatever that happens to be.
The granitic practice is to allow your physical being to be present and to welcome and help settle our thought-generating machines to the space both physically and virtually as well.
We'll enable both the body and mind to be present,
To be here together.
Be ready to arrange yourself in a comfortable position,
Standing,
Seated,
Lying down,
Seated with your feet up.
First,
Be comfortable for you.
If you're like me,
I like to use my breath as an anchor.
Either way,
Turning our attention inward for a few moments,
Our attention is often focused outwards for almost the entirety of our days.
We turn our attention inward,
Just simply notice without effort or any attempts to change what's going on inside.
It's simply easiest to notice the breath.
It's a great place to be.
Eyes can be open or closed whenever it's comfortable.
There's no need to expend any effort.
Simply allowing yourself to be present here.
Maybe just a little bit of tension behind the eyebrows.
Perhaps your eyes were working hard today,
That's fine.
Thank your eyes.
Those muscles behind the eyebrows.
Welcome to our little break.
Just relax.
Relax.
If you're all of me,
Perhaps you carry tension in your shoulders.
If you're all of us,
We're on our shoulders or our past areas,
You realize those muscles are engaged.
Perhaps that's something you may notice about something that's happening inside of you now.
You may take the back muscles for being there,
Supporting you.
All the different places they have in the building.
Just let them know.
Coffee breaks on.
Not for me,
But for a smaller person that I know,
It's been a long time.
Vigorously running.
Perhaps there's some soreness or stiffness in your legs.
Just notice that.
You don't need to make it go away.
Still have the intention to be there.
It's wonderful to have the ability to use those muscles to call yourself.
Yes,
Sometimes there are.
Miracles in human bodies does its best to try and mix itself.
I think everything you do in the beginning is perfect.
It typically does the best.
Depending on how you're situated yourself.
Feet on the floor.
Instead of noticing your feet sitting on the floor,
See if you can notice the floor coming out from below.
To meet your feet.
Be supportive.
Relaying.
How to get there to the audience.
How many of you need to arrive in this room?
How many of you need to arrive in this room?
So much of all of our senses we have available to us are often focused upwards.
Sight,
Smile,
Touch,
Taste.
I want this to be in order to bring those senses inward.
But forcefully.
Just inviting to explore.
Whatever happens to be your anchor today can have a little tidbit to it.
Just a seed for the unconscious mind to play with later.
Every single decision you've ever made,
From the moment you were able to make decisions,
Conscious or not,
Has led you here.
Right now.
It could go bad.
You are willing to accept that.
Extremely powerful.
When you're ready,
Walk up to stays.
Whatever works for you.
If you're at all like me,
Probably could open my eyes.
Wiggle my shoulders a bit.
Because I'm potentially at risk of falling asleep.
Although it's very pleasant and enjoyable.
We'll chat before we do our mother's kindness meditation.
I'm going to give my notes a topic.
I don't know if I always share what that topic is.
It's just maybe for my own bad.
We'll share it right away.
Because she's not sitting within striking distance of me today,
I'm very lost.
I'm going to paraphrase the messages my partner and I were exchanging earlier in the day.
Conversations around work,
Career,
And how people are often not doing what they want to be doing at the same time.
Not necessarily knowing what it is they actually want to be.
I view myself as simply a passageway for the universe.
Nothing is permanent.
Followed by change might not always happen immediately,
But there is always change.
The idea of change,
Impermanence,
And uncertainty are complex and often intertwined.
Ajahn Chah,
A Buddhist teacher who has either taught or greatly influenced many of the more famous Western mindfulness meditation teachers,
Once said,
To me,
This cup is already broken.
Because I know its fate,
I can enjoy it fully here and now.
And when it's gone,
It's gone.
The meaning I take from Ajahn Chah's broken cup remark is that embracing the uncertainty that always exists around change and how little,
If any,
Real control we have over the change and when it might occur can help us see and thus break free from our illusion of control and desire for permanence.
The first thing I think Ajahn Chah was saying by that was to realize and accept uncertainty and impermanence allowed him to relax.
The term let go is often used.
You can also consider the phrase let be,
Realizing that other than our own actions,
And even many of those that are driven by our subconscious conditioned reflexes,
We have essentially no control of the forces of uncertainty and change lead to impermanence.
We can release all the effort that most of us don't even realize for easy to hold on.
Thinking about this further,
I recall a quote from one of my favorite movies,
Original theatrical release in 1999,
The Matrix.
The Oracle in The Matrix,
And they comment,
Anything that has a beginning has an end.
Such a simple statement.
It can pertain to so much in life,
Everything from the weather to our own mortality.
Think about even the biblical floods where Noah saved all the animals on his ark only lasted for 40 days and 40 nights.
Even unpleasant circumstances that are not permanent change.
In the process of working through a difficult divorce,
I did not have the opportunity to see my son for four or five months back in 2019.
At that time,
It seemed like it was an eternity.
The process was stuck,
And therefore the situation was never going to change.
Now,
However,
We're in May of 2020,
And it has been over two full years,
And I have not gone a single day without seeing my son.
What a remarkable change.
Having mentioned one's own mortality,
I was recently engaged to the discussion around that with a small group of peers.
I expressed how,
Personally,
I did not fear death.
If anything,
I was fascinated and curious about what might happen.
It was pointed out to me,
As often is the case,
Many people point out things to me,
And I often hate them point it out,
That I may not necessarily be alone in that,
But for many people,
The bigger fear is the process that one might have to endure to get there.
Certainly,
That's a reasonable point,
But again,
No matter the circumstances that lead to your mortality,
There's impermanence,
There's change,
And in most cases,
We have very little or no control at all over the circumstances,
Which could lead to the anxiety around the subject due to the uncertainty.
I'll spare you the image of my ideal to,
Let's say,
Go out or expire.
But I do recall a quote from author Hunter S.
Thompson.
When the going gets weird,
The weird turn pro.
And for those who don't know me well,
Already decorated professionally.
The actual quote is,
Well,
That's Hunter S.
Thompson's quote,
But the quote I was ultimately looking for was,
Life should not be a journey to the grave,
With the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body,
But rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke,
Thoroughly hused up,
Totally worn out,
And loudly proclaiming,
WOW,
WHAT A RIDE!
Because not to be morbid,
And with all due respect,
Everything that has a beginning has an end.
Every moment of our existence is disappearing as soon as it arises,
Such that we are living in a constant deluge of change and uncertainty.
For me,
This is a topic I could and would very happily discuss at great length.
But to be respectful of everyone's time.
Well,
Maybe with one last quote from Hunter S.
Thompson,
But we're among this one's.
PG.
Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.
As we always do,
Take a moment to remind ourselves,
When practicing loving-kindness meditation,
We do not do it to accomplish a goal or prove a point.
Metta has no conditions.
It does not depend on whether one deserves it or not.
It is not restricted to friends and family.
It extends out from all personal categories to include all living beings.
There are no expectations of anything in return.
It is merely a process to experience and enjoy.
Let's begin our loving-kindness practice simply.
Take a moment to ensure your position is comfortable for you.
Maybe you need to adjust from earlier.
Maybe you're still in a very comfy position.
When you're ready,
Let the body rest and your heart be soft.
You choose to close your eyes or you wish to leave them open.
Just allow them to settle with a gentle gaze.
If you happen to be human like me and at any time find that your mind has wandered,
Be kind to yourself and gently bring your focus back to your anchor,
Which in this instance could very well be my voice.
Unlike before,
Or subtly exercise,
If it works for you and it's comfortable,
Instead of simply observing,
Try taking a few slow,
Easy,
Deep breaths.
While you're doing this,
If you can sense where it is you notice your breaths,
Perhaps you notice them in numerous locations.
Perhaps it's easiest to notice them in one.
You feel your back supporting your chest as you breathe in and out.
You have a hand on your stomach,
You notice it rising,
Falling.
Perhaps your upper chest expanding and contracting.
Maybe there's a rush of air,
A sense of coolness perhaps around any most of us.
Perhaps it's somewhere else entirely.
Even if you don't notice it,
That's fine.
While your breath's in turn to whatever pace that it brings it's comfort.
You don't need to exert any effort or force,
Just allow it to be and do what it needs to be.
The look to our body is fascinating.
Because so much for us without us even necessarily even realizing or noticing.
How often throughout the day today you should notice your heart is beating.
If you notice the figure is taut and you're still listening to me,
Fascinating.
All the cells in the human body that will sacrifice themselves for the greater good.
The clear visible impermanence of our bodies simply noted by dust.
Our entire bodies completely regenerate themselves.
With I believe the bones taking along this time approximately seven years.
I mean the idea of constant change and impermanence.
No control of anything.
Thinking about your body.
See if you can repeat most of your places to start.
Wonderful magical things our bodies are able to do.
How our bodies can do everything that's fine.
Even though it's a beloved use.
Many ways of picturing that you can extend good wishes to yourself and to your body.
Recite to yourself.
May I be filled with compassion.
I'd be well-bodied of mine.
I'd be free from expectation.
I'd be free from inner and outer dangers.
Maybe there's another physical body near you.
A few feet away.
A few meters away.
Maybe a person.
Maybe a friendly four-legged friend.
As you picture them you can wish.
May you be filled with compassion.
May you be well-bodied of mine.
May you be free from expectation.
May you be at ease and filled with acceptance.
May you be safe from inner and outer dangers.
May you be filled with loving kindness.
If it's comfortable for you,
Think of putting else a little further away.
Somebody across the street,
Down the road,
Neighbor.
Maybe you know them well,
Maybe you only see them past.
You can extend the same loving kindness wishes to them.
May you be filled with compassion.
May you be well in body and mind.
May you be free from expectation.
May you be safe from inner and outer dangers.
May you be filled with loving kindness.
May you continue to expand outwards.
It doesn't necessarily need to be one person.
It could be many.
Neighborhood.
Be the city or the province.
It doesn't necessarily need to be limited to people.
It could be animals,
Plants,
All the creatures.
You can wish them the same loving kindness.
May you be filled with compassion.
May you be well in body and mind.
May you be free from expectation.
May you be at ease and filled with acceptance.
May you be safe from inner and outer dangers.
May you be filled with loving kindness.
Whether the images or feelings are clear or not does not matter.
Is continued to simply plant the seeds of loving wishes.
Feeding the phrases gently.
Anything that arises,
We can allow.
Observe no judgment.
Let it be.
If you have established a sense of loving kindness for yourself,
You can gradually include other people you care about in your meditation.
Picture each beloved person and recite the same phrases.
Evoking a sense of loving kindness for each person in turn.
After this,
You can include a wider circle of friends.
Then,
Gradually extend your meditation step by step.
This can in turn include communities of neighbors,
People everywhere,
Animals,
All beings,
And more.
You can bring your focus and attention back to your own body.
Recognizing how much has changed.
Recognizing the impermanence.
The time that has passed.
The thoughts that we've had and gone.
The uncertainty.
Accepting that.
Take a moment to feel your body resting calm.
Perhaps feeling your hands in your lap.
Allow yourself to notice any sound or spell.
If you haven't already,
It's comfortable for you.
If your eyes close,
Feel free to open.
I like to remind everybody before moving,
Just a moment to notice how you feel.
Without judging,
Simply notice how your body feels.
How your mind and your spirit feel.
Then,
If you like,
As you go both rest of the day and the rest of the week,
You'll find yourself distracted,
Distressed,
Perhaps annoyed by the uncertainty,
The impermanence,
The continuous change.
Allow yourself to recall the images of your loved ones.
The loving kindness phrases that have been repeated,
Before returning to a mindful state of being in the present moment,
Which has in will constantly changed.
Do you have to spot any of your own conditioned reflexes or notice that you're attempting to hold on?
Simply noting those automatic responses.
Just being aware of something you're attempting to hold on to.
The automatic responses will start to become less automatic.
The amount of effort that goes into holding on will gradually over time bust.
Thank you,
And may you be filled with the feeling of loving kindness.
Welcome to being human.
