Metta Mondays - April 25, 2022
The simple translation of the Pali word “Metta” into English is typically defined as: “Loving Kindness” - it also captures aspects of benevolence, compassion, friendliness, amity, and goodwill. Metta meditation uses words, images, and feelings to evoke feelings of compassion and friendliness. It is a method of developing unconditional love and acceptance toward oneself and others. This track contains ambient sounds in the background
Transcript
Hello there.
I'm Jeffrey.
This is MetaMondays and welcome to Being Human.
Before we start with the grounding practice,
Please allow me to remind you that as humans we have powerful thought generating machines sitting inside of our skulls and expecting them to stop throwing out ideas and suggestions would be like trying to stop the rain from falling by standing outside and shaking your fist up the sky.
The rain may in fact stop,
But as a trained economist in a past life,
I can't help but to repeat the phrase correlation does not equal causation.
So as we do a short grounding practice,
Remember your mind will wander and throw out ideas.
It is not our job to prevent these,
But to simply allow them to appear and then dissipate without self judgment or effort.
Simply allowing them to pass with the simple act of acknowledging them for what they are.
Alright,
We'll take a couple of minutes.
If you'd like to make sure you're in a comfortable position for you.
Seated,
Standing,
Laying,
Whatever it is that works.
Welcome to keep your eyes open,
Close them.
If you choose to leave them open,
General recommendation would be to just allow the focus to be gentle.
You can take a few minutes.
And don't put any effort into trying to control your breath or your breathing.
You can simply allow it to be as it naturally wants to be.
Breath is something that we get to carry around with us all the time.
Our body is quite good at regulating it.
Either increasing,
Decreasing the pace,
Fullness,
Depending on what it is that we're doing or what thoughts or feelings we may be experiencing.
Often we don't even sense that these changes are occurring.
We can take this next few minutes to simply observe without judgment.
And see what it is that's currently happening with our breath.
I have a sense of breath,
Your stomach,
Your belly,
Perhaps that's thing up and down.
Until recently I hadn't even noticed the cool air passing through my nostrils.
Something I notice more these days.
If you happen to be seated or lying,
Perhaps you get a sense of the cushions in your chair,
Couch,
Bed.
Not just holding you,
But actually coming up to meet you.
If you're seated,
Perhaps you want to see if you have a sense of the floor coming up.
So it's not you actually being there for the floor,
But the floor is coming up to be there for you.
Okay.
I thought Generating Machine is quite good at trying to remind me not to forget things.
But it is that I've been requested to prepare for dinner.
Thank you Thought Generating Machine.
We'll deal with dinner preparation at a later time.
Okay,
Maybe with a deep breath in.
And allow it out.
Whatever pace is comfortable in releasing for you.
If your eyes have closed,
You may choose to open them.
If you've decided to lay back,
You may wish to sit up,
But still,
Don't go out of your way to cause yourself any discomfort.
Unless you're like me,
It requires some of that on occasion,
Otherwise I may be inclined to doze off by accident.
So late in the week last week,
There was a discussion about what we may or may not be covering today.
There was a suggestion that I don't discuss masturbation at all.
So we won't do that.
But for any of you that may have been involved in that conversation,
I guess you can report back to the folks that in fact I did mention that.
We'll leave it at that for now.
So with it being that on Monday,
Which has to be because it rhymes,
We can think of it loosely translated and as we've used in the past,
Often referred to as loving kindness.
It's a technique that having given thought and listened to others discuss,
It seems to be one of the less common variations of meditation that are discussed or taught or led.
If you're an athlete,
Perhaps you've been taught visualization techniques,
Where you visualize yourself performing at a high level.
A chronic pain sufferer may be taught to have non-identification techniques,
For example,
Instead of it being my pain,
You can practice transitioning that into pain that I happen to experience.
A human working through a challenging family upheaval may be taught acceptance practices.
Instead of fighting things that they're unable to change,
You don't have to agree with them,
But you could just accept them.
All are very different,
But they tend not to be.
As broadly focused,
Perhaps,
Would be a way to describe it as we would be with our loving kindness practice.
Of course,
There are similarities that are often practiced in silence or perhaps with a guide.
But the notion of developing compassion and love for oneself,
Community,
Surrounding nature,
And ultimately all of life,
Seems to be in conflict with typical Western lifestyle.
For thousands of years,
Many thousands of years,
Humans lived,
Worked,
And cared for one another in tribes or groups,
Group settings.
But in less than just a few hundred years,
We've become increasingly disconnected from one another.
This is my house.
That's your car.
These are my children.
I guess it doesn't have to be as argumentative,
Perhaps,
As I presented it,
But it's very much a separation.
So the notion of spending our own time in meditating,
Sending well wishes,
And engendering compassion towards our friends,
Neighbors,
Those in our community,
And at a grander scale of life,
Does not seem to be a natural go-to if you wanted to practice meditation.
The technological innovations of simply the past decade or so have resulted in high-powered computers with social media sitting in everyone's pocket while allowing us to wear noise-canceling headphones.
We've been able to completely lose track of any of our ancestral way of life.
I've not even mentioned the impact of COVID and the additional isolation that has driven so many of us towards a very solitary state of being.
Even if you think of some of the meditations I mentioned a few moments ago,
Those are almost exclusively focused on oneself,
Which isn't to say bad.
There's no judgment in that.
It's simply a fact.
So perhaps it's not surprising that it may come less naturally for us alive today to choose to practice a metameditation.
That might not be the first thing that springs to mind.
Further,
Despite the degree of disconnectedness and isolation that most of us live,
Again relative to how humans lived many thousands of years ago,
Often without even realizing it,
Many of us find the most difficult part of metta or loving-kindness is to share that love and compassion and kindness towards ourself.
Historically,
A metameditation is started with oneself and then expands outwards.
These days,
Again in Western society,
A more regular approach when leading or practicing a metameditation is to start by focusing our love and compassion on others.
And then,
If comfortable,
Slowly turning that love and compassion towards ourselves.
That's exactly why that is.
I'd only be able to provide you with my own personal opinions,
Which I'm happy to do.
Perhaps during a discussion period at the end of our session today,
People are so inclined.
Or perhaps at a later date.
In the meantime,
I'd simply encourage you to take a moment or two,
Whenever you have the chance or springs to mind,
Maybe once or twice a day,
And just simply notice how disconnected humans have become from one another.
An easy example of that is when you're driving.
There are people in other cars.
For the most part,
They can't hear us.
We can't hear them.
We can see that there's other people out there.
But there's definitely a lack of connection.
Another recent example is somebody shared with me a humorous TikTok video of people accidentally walking into things because they were so focused on their phones,
They didn't notice they were about to hit something.
So of course,
There's two of us with our heads down,
Buried in the phone,
Watching other people who have their heads down,
Buried in their phone,
Completely oblivious to the world around them,
Including the other people.
And then of course,
They hit something which was humorous,
I must admit.
So choose to judge if you wish.
It is what it is.
So before we begin our practice today,
I would like to both thank you and congratulate you for not only participating in a practice that neuroscientists have shown to have a strong positive impact on our own well-being,
But in my opinion,
More importantly,
Not that my opinion is more important,
But more importantly,
Taking the time to recognize that we are not alone in the world.
Maybe separated by hundreds or thousands of kilometers or many inches or feet.
We're all in this together.
Let us now take a moment to refocus and remind ourselves that when practicing loving kindness meditation,
We do not do it to accomplish a goal or to prove a point.
Metta has no conditions.
It does not depend on whether one deserves it or not.
It is not restricted to friends and family.
It extends out from personal categories to include all living beings.
There's no expectation of anything in return.
It's merely a process to experience and enjoy.
So with that in mind,
Hopefully you're still in a comfortable position if you need to readjust.
Getting that degree of comfort to a place that works well for you.
I'm not sure if one day we'll try this over video doing it as walking,
But for now,
Perhaps a more stationary position would be more comfortable.
Let's start by thinking about your breath again.
It's so often used as an anchor.
It doesn't have to be yours.
If you'd like an alternative today,
Perhaps try just sensing the feeling of your feet.
If you're laying down,
Perhaps you'd notice how your heels feel supported by a bed,
A couch,
A footrest.
That feeling is there just as your breath is.
It will welcome you to close your eyes if that's comfortable.
As mentioned before,
If you'd like to leave them open,
That's fine as well.
Just allow your gaze to soften.
As you notice your heels resting or your breath breathing in or out,
Hopefully it's both in and out.
Please start at the very top of your head.
The little muscles that move your scalp around down through your forehead.
The little muscles that might be a bit more active that move your eyebrows around your eyes.
And often the little muscles there we don't even notice doing their jobs throughout the day.
Keeping our eyes clear,
Clean and protected,
Refreshed.
Perhaps you want to continue down.
You'd notice the back of your neck.
It's often a place where I hold a lot of tension.
Maybe it is for you.
If you happen to notice some,
There's no need to force.
You can allow tension to dissipate.
You can give those muscles permission for now just to be.
Perhaps then you can notice down your shoulders,
Shoulder blades,
Down the backs in front of your arms,
Back,
Front of your torso.
Think about all the different muscles that support the spinal column.
What a wonderful piece of construction that is.
Various muscles and tissues and nerves and blood vessels transporting signals from all over our body.
As you continue to look further down,
Perhaps you notice or can feel the bigger muscles that are connected through to your hips.
But in between those,
It's just at the end of your spine,
Tailbone,
There's a little shovel that just holds us,
Provides some gentle support.
And something we might not think of or notice.
Big muscles in our legs,
Knees,
Calves,
Down to our feet.
And through each of the little toes.
And we begin our love and kindness the easiest way possible.
Perhaps bringing to mind the creature on the earth who love and compassion and kindness.
Completely uncomplicated.
And it's easy to feel those feelings toward that being.
Often a four-legged friend.
It can be quite easy to.
.
.
There's no right or wrong.
As you picture this being,
You can breathe gently,
Recite inwardly the following phrases we've adapted.
Follow traditional metatechniques.
As you're picturing bringing to life in your mind this other being,
You can say to it,
May you be filled with acceptance.
May you be safe from inner and outer danger.
May you be well in mind and body.
May you be at ease and happy.
May you be filled with love and kindness.
May you be safe from inner and outer dangers.
And may you be well in body and mind.
May you be at ease and compassionate.
As you repeat these phrases to yourself,
Hold this loved one in kindness and compassion.
Allow the feelings to permeate your body and mind.
Without effort,
Simply see if you're able to notice where in your body you notice the feelings.
Just take note of that.
There might not be any one specific place,
And that's fine.
It's normal for this to feel potentially mechanical or awkward at times,
But that's fine.
Be it second being,
Maybe a person,
Child,
Close loved one,
Family member,
And again someone for whom love comes easily and it's not complicated.
Picture them,
Bring them to life in your imagination.
See them there,
Calmly,
In your presence.
You can imagine extending the wishes of love and kindness to them.
May you be filled with acceptance.
May you be safe from inner and outer dangers.
May you be well in mind and body.
May you be at ease and happy.
May you be filled with love and kindness.
May you be safe from inner and outer dangers.
May you be well in body and mind.
May you be at ease and full of compassion.
May you feel surprising.
This brings up feelings that may at first feel somewhat unpleasant.
If this happens to you,
Be patient,
Kind with yourself.
Simply observe those thoughts with curious awareness and without judgment.
And with as little effort as possible,
Simply allow them to be and they'll likely find another place to disappear to.
Whether the image or feelings of those that we've chosen to envision are clear or not does not matter.
Simply continue to plant the seeds of loving wishes,
Repeating the phrases gently,
No matter what arises.
As we practice loving kindness,
Allow yourself to feel the way that most easily opens your heart.
Now after a time,
If you're ready,
Turn loving kindness toward yourself.
I wish to start by envisioning or imagining these two loved ones who you have just been thinking about.
Imagine,
Picture them gazing back at you with the same well-wishing.
Know deep down that they want you to be held in kindness,
To be safe and at ease.
And even if it's a four-legged friend,
You can picture them saying these words to you kindly.
May you be filled with acceptance.
May you be safe from inner and outer dangers.
May you be well in body and mind.
May you be at ease and happy.
May you be filled with loving kindness.
May you be safe from inner and outer dangers.
May you be well in mind and body.
May you be at ease and compassionate.
Allow yourself to receive these wishes gratefully.
Allowing yourself to take their good wishes into your own heart.
You may even wish to place a hand on your heart.
Or with both hands you can wrap them,
Give yourself a hug,
Wrap them around you.
And if it works for you today,
You can recite to yourself,
May I be filled with acceptance.
May I be safe from inner and outer dangers.
May I be well in body and mind.
May I be at ease and happy.
May I be filled with loving kindness.
May I be safe from inner and outer dangers.
May I be well in mind and body.
May I be at ease and compassionate.
When you've established a sense of loving kindness for yourself,
You can gradually include other people you care about in your meditation.
Picture each beloved person and recite the phrases evoking a sense of loving kindness for each person in turn.
After you can include a wider circle of friends,
Neighbors.
And gradually extend your meditation step by step to picture and include community members,
People everywhere,
Animals,
All beings,
And the whole earth.
Hopefully you find yourself in a comfortable place.
One that you're rushing to leave from.
But if you happen to be like me and dinners calling,
Now is probably a time when you can begin to bring your focus and attention back to your own body.
Where you are.
Where you happen to be right now.
Take a moment to feel your body sitting calmly.
Notice how your hands feel.
Whether they're on your lap,
Resting beside you.
Or like me,
Tucked up under your armpits.
If you can still feel your feet perhaps resting on the floor or your heels resting on something comfortable.
Allow yourself to notice any sounds or smells.
Again without judgment,
Just accepting that they're there.
They like the chair,
The couch,
The bed.
They are there with you right now.
If you happen to have closed your eyes,
Either by choice or nature took its course,
Feel free to open.
Maybe you're getting up to move on with the rest of your day,
However long that may be.
Maybe you're beginning your day,
Maybe you're near the end of your day.
Take a moment to notice how it is that you feel.
Not judging but simply noting how your body feels,
How your mind and spirit feel.
And if you like,
As you go about the rest of your day,
Perhaps you'll be cooking dinner shortly.
If you find yourself distracted but not present with exactly what it is that you're doing,
If you notice that.
Recall the images of the loved ones and the loving kindness phrases we've been repeating before returning to a mindful state of being in the present moment.
Thank you.
May you all be filled with the feeling of loving kindness.
Welcome to being human.
Always happy to engage in the discussion.
At the same time,
Recognizing that people may have commitments,
Bedtimes,
Dinner times.
Happy to allow everybody to slip away and enjoy whatever is next.
Thank you,
Everybody.
It's been a pleasure.
