Bringing attention inwards,
Listening to the music of the heart right now,
What kind of tune is playing?
Is it a happy tune?
A sad song?
Restless kind of jazz?
Just listening to the present mood of the heart.
Breathing,
Aware of the emotional tone,
Opening up to however it is.
Ask yourself,
What do I want the most?
I discovered my life's path in the library of my little hometown when I was 18 years old.
I was curious about the workings of the world and the big questions in life,
So I was browsing through the philosophy section.
I guess also I was there because I wanted to be seen as sophisticated and mature,
But that's another part of the story.
Anyways,
I came across a book titled The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama and Howard C.
Cutler,
An American psychiatrist.
I remembered having seen the Dalai Lama on the telly when he received the Nobel Peace Prize some ten years earlier and had felt a certain affinity with him.
I borrowed the book and from that moment I was hooked.
I was so deeply struck by the Dalai Lama's down to earth wisdom,
Goodness and common sense.
It all made so much sense.
I couldn't understand why no one had told me these things before.
The insight that struck me most was really simple but still profound,
Namely that what we most fundamentally want in life is happiness.
And that happiness itself can never be found in objects of the world or in other people.
It can only be found in the heart.
The causes for happiness are found in the heart too,
As well as the causes for discontent and suffering.
I could relate.
I could see that in my own life,
In my own mind.
Even recollecting the significance of that book brings tears to my eyes.
The gratitude I feel for the impact that that single book has had on my life is difficult to put into words.
It led me to understand something about my life and how it could be lived that truly was invaluable.
It's not that I was a particularly unhappy or ill-behaved kid,
But I didn't have a clear direction.
That book firmly put me on the path that have led to here.
And for that I am so grateful.
Here's one of the nuggets from the Dalanas.
Man surprises me most about humanity because he sacrifices his health in order to make money.
Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.
And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present.
The result being that he does not live in the present or the future.
He lives as if he's never going to die and then dies having never really lived.
I read everything I could find by the Dalai Lama and after that I started reading books about Buddhism and meditation.
One particularly impactful book was a little pamphlet called The Four Noble Truths by Ajahn Sumedho.
The first western student of Ajahn Chah,
One of the greatest meditation masters of the past century.
That book at one hand pointed to the real practical possibility of awakening and true happiness and provided a path of practice towards that end.
At the other hand however,
It pointed out how all phenomena,
That is,
All that we experience,
In essence is impermanent and thus bound to disappoint us or let us down.
That no true refuge can be found in any of it.
That human existence is vulnerable and that suffering is its common denominator.
He even called that the first noble truth.
Not in the sense of it being something that one shouldn't question or doubt,
Quite to contrary,
But in the sense of it having ennobling potential when reflected upon.
Now,
My identity at the time was one of male invulnerability and a happy-go-lucky attitude,
So the suggestion of suffering being part and parcel of life didn't exactly fit in with my idea of me.
But the book encouraged reflection,
Investigation and practice,
So I did that.
I started paying more attention to my actual day-to-day experience and gradually the truth of it was sinking in.
I realised that I wasn't the ever-happy guy I made myself out to be.
There was so much discontent and so much boredom at school,
Insecurities around my friends,
Disappointments regarding girls,
A sense of loneliness and stress,
Confusion about not really being where it's at.
It became evident that suffering and discontentment was a problem in my life too.
In fact,
The It's the only problem.
The suffering is the common bond we all share.
Everybody everywhere suffers.
Human beings suffered in the past,
In ancient India,
And they suffer in modern Britain.
And in the future,
Human beings will also suffer.
What do we have in common with Queen Elizabeth?
We suffer.
With the tramp in the sharing cross,
What do we have in common?
Suffering.
It includes all levels,
From the most privileged human beings,
To the most desperate and underprivileged ones.
And all ranges in between.
Everybody everywhere suffers.
It is a bond we have with each other,
Something we all understand.
Now admitting that discontent is central to life,
Might not be so much of an issue to you as it was for me.
But nevertheless,
It is a crucial starting point.
This is why it's called the first noble truth in Buddhism.
It's all too easy to conceive of both the goal and the problem to be somewhat in the external.
If only I would get that position.
If only she wouldn't have left me.
If only I didn't have this condition.
If only I was 30 years younger or five years older.
But the problem is inside,
Isn't it?
The feeling of discontent is a mental state.
And freedom from discontent can only be found in that same place.
The Buddha was a pragmatic man.
And he was clear about what his teachings were all about.
I teach only one thing,
Discontent and the end of discontent.
So bring your attention to your own heart.
Allow yourself to listen to your own suffering and discontent in the moment.
For some of you,
This may be all too easy.
For some of you,
You might perhaps even think that it doesn't apply to you.
That your life is all good.
Just listen.
Open up.
Welcome whatever knocks on your door when you sit here in silence.
For some of you,
It might be real heart-wrenching stuff that crops up.
For others,
It might be a more subtle discontent,
Restlessness.
Whatever's coming up,
Just acknowledging it for what it is.
The truth that many people never understand until it's too late is that the more you try to avoid suffering,
The more you suffer.
We welcome the experience of discontent and suffering because that's the only way we can get to understanding it.
Freedom comes from a deep understanding of suffering,
Not from trying to run away from it or shut it down.
Freedom comes from a deep understanding of suffering.
Freedom comes from a deep understanding of suffering.
Freedom comes from a deep understanding of suffering.
Freedom comes from a deep understanding of suffering.
Freedom comes from a deep understanding of suffering.
Freedom comes from a deep understanding of suffering.
