There are times in life when the reality before us seems hopeless.
We lose a job,
A friend,
A loved one,
A dream,
And we simply cannot see how life could ever be good again.
But in time we may begin to see that there is more to the story than we could see at first.
God does not always do what we want him to do.
Sometimes his answer is no or not yet.
Other times his answer is yes,
But we are unable to see that yes because it looks completely different than we expected.
Join me as we explore a narrative from John chapter 20 and look through the eyes of a woman who knew and loved Jesus deeply.
Fear gnaws at your stomach as you hurry through the darkness toward the tomb.
Your loyalty coaxes you onward.
You would do anything for your Lord.
The river of tears that you have shed over the last few days is dry for now and your eyes feel puffy and tight.
You know in your head that you can trust the Lord.
He is the one who set you free.
But your heart cannot feel what your mind knows to be true.
Your heart pumps out the rhythm.
Abandoned,
Empty,
Hopeless.
Abandoned,
Empty,
Hopeless.
Jesus is everything to you and now he is gone.
Tears spring to your eyes again,
Blurring your vision.
You swipe them away and pick up the pace,
Attempting to stay a step ahead of the pain.
You arrive in the garden as a sliver of pink light appears along the horizon.
Dew dampens your feet as you walk through the grass toward the tomb.
You look up and your breath catches in your throat.
The stone,
It is pushed aside revealing the dark shadow of the tomb.
No,
You cry as the basket you are clutching tumbles to the ground,
Releasing the aroma of spices.
You immediately drop to your knees,
Collect the scattered items and shove them back into the basket.
You are frustrated by your own carelessness.
Frustration turns into anger.
Those mean terrible Romans wasn't crucifying him enough.
Why?
Why did they have to steal the body?
Their cruelty is unbelievable.
You dash to the place where Peter and John are staying to tell them the news.
You knock,
Knock again,
Then burst in impatiently,
Pushing aside the thought that you must look like a wreck.
The worries in your mind are a senseless jumble and they tumble out of your mouth in a heap tangled with sobs and tears.
Peter and John ignore your disheveled appearance and delivery and they try to make sense of what you are saying.
As soon as they understand they are out the door,
You follow after them too tired this time to run.
After making the trek back,
You enter the garden for a second time.
The light that now stretches across the sky does little to chase away the dark storms in your heart.
Peter and John are nowhere to be seen.
You want the courage to look in the tomb but you shudder at the thought.
What good would come of it?
You feel fear creeping up the back of your neck.
The tomb is a place of death and decay just like your past which seems a lot closer now without Jesus here.
You cannot bear anything that reminds you of the darkness.
You begin to weep.
Something in your heart nudges you to bend down and look inside and you give in.
A blinding light shines in your eyes and you shut them.
Spots flash behind closed lids.
You are on your knees now at the opening to the cave.
Sobs still shaking your body.
When you open your eyes,
There is no death or decay to be seen.
A picture of order and light unfolds before you as you make out bright figures sitting on either side of perfectly folded clean white strips of cloth.
You wipe again at your eyes.
A voice comes from one of these shining beings.
Woman,
Why are you crying?
They have taken my Lord away,
You say,
And I don't know where they have put him.
You sense that someone is behind you so you stand up and turn around.
A man is there and asks you.
Woman,
Why are you crying,
Who is it you are looking for?
You doubt this gardener can help but you hardly have options.
Sir,
You say,
If you have carried him away,
Tell me where you have put him and I will get him.
He says your name.
You look him full in the face for the first time and cry out,
Teacher.
You throw your arms around him then throw yourself down at his feet.
The tears finally feel good.
Relief spreads through your heart.
Jesus is here.
He did not abandon you.
Everything is going to be okay.
Jesus has transformed hopelessness into something beautiful.
You cling to him as if your life depends on it.
But Jesus says,
Do not hold on to me for I have not yet ascended to the Father.
Go instead to my brothers and tell them I am ascending to my Father and your Father,
To my God and your God.
Yes,
Lord,
You cry out as you hug him once more and hurry off to tell the disciples.
Your mind proclaims to your heart,
See,
He is trustworthy.
Your face is radiant with the news.
Once again,
The Lord has cast aside your darkness.
You are eternally grateful.
Friends,
When God says no,
He is not being cruel or unkind,
Although that may appear to be true.
He has bigger plans than we can see or comprehend.
God invites us to face hard things and to hold on to hope,
Not only for today,
But also for that future time when he has promised to someday make all things new.
