When life is hard,
It is hard not to become hardened.
Pain,
Disappointment,
And a sense of powerlessness can lead to anger,
Especially when we are judged,
Blamed,
Or misunderstood.
I invite you to meet Jesus through the perspective of a paralytic whose actual narrative can be found in the Gospels of Mark and Luke.
Are you sure this is a good idea?
You challenge one more time?
You squeeze your eyes shut as the mat jostles your body back and forth.
No matter how much you trust your friends,
It always feels as though you are going to tumble to the ground when they carry you in this way.
Their movements are out of sync and it leaves you feeling uneasy.
And today you have an extra reason to feel unsettled.
No,
I'm not sure your friend sounds impatient this time.
You have a better idea?
You stay silent and push away the guilt.
All four of your friends are giving up their wages today to haul you to see Jesus.
Your sense of inadequacy needs to hush right now so that they do not think you are ungrateful.
Your friends have been your lifeline.
Most people who are paralyzed or blind are lucky to have even one caring friend.
Culture is not exactly on your side.
You simply cannot get used to the glares and looks of curiosity that follow you everywhere.
Of course they blame you for your paralysis.
You can't blame them for believing what they've been taught.
And you don't blame yourself for feeling angry about it either.
Your body is growing tired from the endless motion and a layer of grime has settled over the surface of your skin from the dust kicked up along the road.
You keep your eyes closed and focus on how much you appreciate your friends to avoid thinking about your discomfort.
The moments stretch on as they keep walking and you lose track of time.
Oh no,
One of your friends sighs,
Breaking the silence.
How are we going to get to Jesus before sundown?
You crane your neck and see a huge crowd of people blocking the view to the house.
You feel your heart sink.
It had not even occurred to you that there might be an audience.
You are self-conscious about coming before Jesus alone and downright embarrassed to have spectators.
And then as if you were a child or worse,
Non-existent,
Your friends begin discussing the options amongst themselves.
They consider pushing through the crowd,
Yelling out to Jesus,
Trying another day,
Or lowering you through the roof.
Wait,
Lowering you through the roof?
Are they crazy?
You find your voice.
We can't tear the roof apart.
You have a better idea?
You have nothing to say,
So you say nothing.
And even though you can't feel your legs,
Your churning stomach has no problem making itself known.
Apparently the decision is final because without further debate,
They begin to carry you past the gawking crowd to an opening in the side yard.
In the stillness of the courtyard,
They locate the narrow steps that lead up to the roof.
Your friends are forced to walk single file,
So one of them slings you over his shoulders with a grunt and lugs you to the top.
The others follow,
And they settle you toward the edge of the roof.
Despite the heat of the sun,
You relax your body on the now motionless mat and sigh relief.
You are anxious but tired from the journey,
And you manage to half-doze as your friends tackle the problem of getting you through that roof.
Wake up,
We're ready,
Your friend startles you into consciousness.
You are sleeping more deeply than you realized.
And there's now a gaping hole in the roof,
And they've fastened ropes to your mat.
A mix of resistance and appreciation well up inside.
You nod,
And they mobilize.
As they lower you through the roof,
It's as though you are falling in slow motion.
They pause the descent and hover you just above head height to give people inside the house time to move out of the way.
You hear shuffling below you,
And then you are lowered to the floor and land with a gentle thud.
For a moment,
Time stands still.
Everyone is crammed against the walls,
Watching one man.
Your eyes follow theirs,
And you see him for the first time.
Jesus strikes you as humble,
Yet confident.
Serene,
Yet powerful.
He is looking right at you,
And he doesn't seem to be thinking about the hole in the roof.
Relieved you look away,
Not sure what to do.
Thankfully,
He breaks the silence.
Your sins are forgiven.
You are shocked.
You have spent the last decade wishing the world knew that your situation was not a result of sin.
Now he has sealed it for everyone gathered.
You hear a gasp from the crowd,
Whispering and murmuring,
But you ignore it,
Waiting,
Hoping.
Is that it?
You feel deflated.
Then you become aware of the teachers of the law gathered along one side of the room,
Their faces a mosaic of emotions.
They seem stunned,
Angry,
Surprised,
Confused.
You look back at Jesus and catch him studying them with a penetrating gaze.
Then he says to them,
Why do you think that I blaspheme?
Which is easier,
To say to this paralyzed man,
Your sins are forgiven,
Or to say,
Get up,
Take your mat and walk.
But I want you to know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.
Then he turns to you and says,
Get up,
Take your mat and go home.
Sensations surge through your hips and legs,
Pain at first,
Then warmth.
You sit up,
Lean forward onto your knees,
Then rock back onto your feet and push yourself to standing.
Miraculously,
The wobbling subsides and strength courses through your body,
Pulling you to full height.
You look at Jesus again and understanding washes over you.
If he knew the thoughts of the religious leaders,
He probably knows your thoughts too.
Reluctantly you think about your anger toward God for allowing your paralysis.
You think about your anger toward people in general for their false assumptions,
For blaming you for your misfortune.
You think about how bitter and cross you have become and suddenly you are sorry.
Jesus wanted to help you with your legs and with your heart.
His eyes shine love and forgiveness without a trace of accusation or anger.
He has been so much kinder than you deserve and you are blessed by this encounter.
The crowd parts for you to exit and you dance your way to the street to hug your friends and slap them on their backs.
You will forever be indebted to them as well as to Jesus.
Oh friend,
Hardships are not present in your life because God is unkind.
He knows you and loves you and wants you to experience knowing him in return.
As you review the narrative of the paralytic in Mark 2 verses 1 through 12 and Luke 5 verses 12 through 26,
Ask God to open your heart to his work in your own situation.
Invite him to reveal a new perspective and to renew your hope.
