This is a meditation to do some inner child work.
So making sure that you're comfortable,
That you've got at least minimum 20 minutes of uninterrupted time.
Close your eyes.
Try to sit upwards with your spine straight.
Focusing on your breath,
Just a natural breath of an inhalation and an exhalation.
Feeling the body calm,
Feeling yourself sitting on the floor or the chair,
The mat or the pillow.
Feeling your hands resting on your knees or in your lap.
Feeling the breath come in and feeling the breath go out.
Making sure that your jaw and your teeth,
Your hands,
Your feet,
Your face is unclenched.
Taking as many breaths as you need to be relaxed.
Letting your nervous system know that you're fully present.
You're going to do some work that's beneficial,
That you're not going to disassociate,
You're not going to leave the body.
You're going to stay present.
And when you feel calm,
I'd like you to bring into your consciousness,
Into the forefront of the mind,
The instance that you were last triggered that you want to work on.
Remembering the people,
The places that were involved,
The words,
What it felt like to be there.
And go ahead and bring yourself back to that scene.
Allowing the body to have the reaction.
Noticing if the heart beats faster,
If the palms sweat.
Noticing how the mind begins to tighten,
Begins to work a little faster.
Go ahead and go into that scene.
Knowing what it felt like to be there.
And when you find that you're able to reinsert yourself into that scene,
Notice where the strongest sensation is in your body.
Maybe it's in the belly,
Or in the heart,
Maybe in the throat,
Or maybe it's some other place.
But find the place where that sensation is the strongest.
And I'd like you to go to that place and begin to notice.
Does that sensation have a temperature?
Does it feel hot or cold or neutral?
Is there a color associated with this?
Is it blue or black or red or yellow?
Does it feel wet or dry or thick or soft or hard?
Is it solid or do you breathe through it?
Do you breathe around it or do you breathe through it?
And if you were to give this sensation a shape,
Would it be in the shape of a ball or a square,
A brick,
Or maybe just a blob?
Begin to feel into this hot or cold,
Black or brown,
Solid or soft shape.
I'd like you to get very close to it.
And when you get close to it,
See if you can make just a small little hole inside this sensation.
So you can look inside it,
Very small,
Very gently,
With lots of love and caring.
We're just discovering,
We're exploring what this sensation holds within it.
So we approach it with intention and with love and carefulness.
When you're able to create this small hole,
Look inside and notice,
Is the color different on the inside than it is on the outside?
As you go into that hole and inside this sensation,
Does the temperature change?
Does it get cooler or warmer or stay neutral?
Beginning to go in deeper,
Notice how do you feel being inside of this sensation?
Is there anyone else there?
An image,
A memory,
A presence?
Just begin to look around as you go deeper and deeper.
Notice the changes.
Notice if there's anyone else inside.
It might be a parent,
A family member,
A friend,
An ex-partner,
Or it might be a younger version of you.
If it is someone that you know,
Wondering if you can look into their eyes,
What do you see in their eyes?
Really look at them.
What do you see in their eyes?
Anger,
Sadness,
Blank,
Love.
Just notice,
Notice how you feel standing in front of them.
And actually notice how old do you feel standing there?
Your first intuition,
How old do you feel standing there?
And if it's a younger version of you,
Can you see into the eyes of this younger child?
What do you see in the eyes of this younger child?
And listen to see if they have anything to say,
Anything.
They might be sad or angry or scared or confused.
Ask them why.
Don't assume that you know.
Really ask them why and let them answer,
Why do they feel this way?
And what do they need from you?
What do they need and what is your impulse towards them?
How do you feel towards them?
If you feel compelled to hold them,
Ask them if you can hold them.
They may not let you,
They might be scared still.
You haven't been around for a long time,
So it might take some time and patience.
If you have distaste or hatred towards them,
See if you can just sit,
Just sit in presence of each other.
Notice what this little child needs and notice how you feel about what they need.
And if you can't give them what they need,
Let them know you're working on it.
You're doing your best.
You will continue to work on it.
You'll never forget now where they are.
You'll never abandon them now because now it's up to you.
It's up to you to give them the love that they need and want.
No one else can do that.
They try,
They reach for it from partners and friends and family members,
But now the only one that can guarantee that they'll be there for them is you.
So if you can,
Hold them and tell them that.
If you can't,
Then just sit with them and tell them that you're doing your best,
That you're going to come back,
You're going to listen.
And when they show up again in your life,
You're not going to tell them to shut up and pretend they don't exist.
You're going to do your best to reassure them that you are there,
That no one can harm them,
That you as an adult now can take care of this little girl or little boy.
No matter what anyone does in the outside world,
You as the adult now can take care.
Spend as much time as you need with them.
And when you feel ready,
You can either bring them into your heart and let them stay there,
Or if they don't let you do that yet,
Or you are not comfortable doing that,
Leave them a gift.
Leave them something and tell them you'll be back.
Allow the image to be swept up with a soft pink light of a rose quartz,
Enveloping you,
Your child,
In love,
Compassion,
Gentleness,
Caring,
Beginning to take some deeper breaths,
Beginning to come back into the space,
Feeling yourself sitting on the ground,
On the chair,
Allowing an exhale to come out of the mouth.
As you feel ready,
Opening your eyes,
Journaling whatever you would like to journal to remember from this journey,
And coming fully back into presence.
