Micro Talk: She Believed Her Mind

This is a short story and case study of a girl called Melanie, who struggled with her judgmental thoughts. Indeed, so-much-so that she believed she was a bad person. This is, until she started to see her mind as neither a friend nor an enemy.

Transcript

She believed her mind.

Melanie secretly thought that she wasn't a very nice person.

She gauged this because of the judgements that her mind would make about other people,

Friends,

Family members,

And particularly random people in the street.

She attributed these judgements as a reflection of who she was as a person.

Even though it was her mind that gave her these thoughts,

Her mind continued to tell her that she was a judgemental and non-likable person.

Because of this,

Melanie kept her thoughts a secret.

One time when Melanie was out having drinks with her friends,

She heard the term non-judgmental being made in a passing conversation.

She'd heard this before and it sounded great.

In being non-judgmental,

She could finally have some peace from her judging mind.

But this seemed a million miles away to her because these thoughts never seemed to stop.

She therefore struggled with this concept of being non-judgmental because she could never turn her judgements off.

How do I stop my mind from thinking,

Thought her mind that was thinking.

Melanie decided to download this very app within your hands and began learning a little about the human mind.

She realised that most of her judgements were automatic,

They just appeared.

And they had originally come from outside of her.

These thoughts had simply been programmed into her from the experiences that she'd picked up along the way.

These judgements that haunted her had been programmed into her from films and shows she'd seen on TV,

Things she'd read in magazines and the people that she'd met in her life.

Melanie tucked into the read section within this app.

She found that it wasn't too hard to read,

All the concepts had been broken down simply.

She loved the way that it was written.

She soon learned how her judgements came from associations to things that she had experienced,

Such as things people had said,

Certain things people wore,

Certain ways people acted and so on.

She learned that it was normal to have unhelpful judgements about someone she hadn't even met before.

She recognised that this is a defence mechanism to size people up and to put them in either one or two camps.

The They're Like Me camp or the They're Not Like Me camp.

She now knows that our brains have evolved this way to either separate us off from others or to connect us to others.

She knows that our brains have a negative bias when sifting through experiences in life.

This is because years ago the people around us were even more of a threat.

She now doesn't take her judgements so seriously.

They're just caveman thoughts.

She notices them if and when they arise.

She says to herself,

That's what my mind's saying,

I am not my thoughts.

And she gently reconnects with what's going on around her.

And sometimes,

Just sometimes,

She connects with the odd person that her mind has judged.

She does this out of curiosity.

Then from time to time she actually gets to disconfirm what her mind initially said about this particular person.

Over time the judgements she experiences don't occur as much as they used to.

Why is this?

Because she opened up to them.

She noticed them as just normal thoughts.

She made space for them,

Allowing them to be there when they came up.

And when they did,

She didn't take them so seriously.

She gave them less energy in doing so.

Giving her judgements energy,

Or wishing that she didn't have them,

Was only making them stronger.

Over time she has therefore come to know that her judgements are just a part of a normal human experience.

Even though not many people in her life talk about this stuff.

By seeing her judgements for what they are,

That is,

Just thoughts,

Not a representation of who she is as a person,

She doesn't buy into them.

They lose their impact.

She now recognizes these familiar thinking patterns as they play out.

As a result,

She feels more free.

She has choice over her thoughts,

Instead of being controlled by them.

At times she even laughs at her mind,

Because it's just doing its job.

And laughing at her mind from time to time helps her move forward in leaps and bounds.

She is now excited about this potential for growth and change that she's embarking on.

It's simple.

Just notice my thoughts that are not helpful and recognize that they are my mind and not who I am,

She says to herself.

In the moment of noticing,

Of observing,

She feels empowered because she knows that she is changing herself and in doing so,

Making a small but significant change to humanity.

Now she treats herself differently.

There's less of a furrow on her face.

She's no longer caught up as much in her thoughts.

And she's committing to practicing the mindfulness triangle every morning because that is one of the best ways to help her as she goes about her day.

Reviews

Good morning Reuben! Every time I listen to you I feel lighter and happy. I’m glad I chose to listen to this one today and it’s the first time I’m listening to it! I needed it because I was on the verge of going downhill just now!! Somehow, you always manage to read my thoughts! Thank you for lifting me up all the time, Forever, Tanusree❤️💕

This!!! I identified with the character on this track so much! All the way down to when she decided to give insight timer a go! 🎯

Thanks Reuben for always having these great tracks and courses!! Forever grateful for the Reuben support system 😂 🫶🏽🫶🏽

I felt this! Where is the mindfulness triangle found? Thank you!

Wow! This is such a helpful talk. As someone who is plagued by intrusive thoughts due to many negative life experiences, I’m very grateful for this simple explanation.
Thanks so much Reuben.

This was so interesting and helpful to me. Thank you.💚

Fantastic! Boy, do I ever see part of myself in here – and do I ever see myself changing from here on out! Thank you.

Very helpful as I continue working on my inner critic.

Very useful information about our mind . Thank you🙏❤️

I am revisiting the Mindful creation app and finding it very worthwhile. Thank you Reuben

I struggle with my thoughts too so this was really helpful

A clear and very helpful talk . Thankyou.

Great storytelling which gives one an important message besides being calming and soothing!! 🙏😊💖💖

Excellent tidbit reminders :) love short and sweet.

I really love this! I resonated with how she felt about the constant thoughts that flood her mind. Knowing that this is a normal human traits helps take away the sting of “what’s wrong with me” kind of feelings. Hearing you say that she doesn’t have a lot of people around her that talk about these sorts of things is very reassuring for me. I resonate with this! Insight Timer has helped me feel more connected. 😀

An honest case study that will make you think and analyze real life.

I love your sessions and courses. You are brilliant ♡

Thank you Reuben. I sent this to a friends daughter whose struggling with what she calls “dark thoughts”. Hoping she can find some distance from them 💕

Very unusual comment beautiful, and inspiring

Such timely advice as well as a powerful reminder. Thank you

Christmas blessings, Rueben. Thank you for the gift of your work. 🙏❤️🎄