Self Realization Interview:Philip By Sif Yraola From Iceland

Originally a (Non IT) Live Stream this truly wide ranging interview profoundly affecting the interviewer covers Philip's journey to Realisation, what the Self is, dissolving the emotional body, the myth of Spiritual Bypassing, dealing with sensitivity/empathy, the 'how to' of SR, the fundamental block to it, trusting the heart and much more. Please note & accept ambient sound/blips due to the Live Stream. Group: Nothing Special with PhiIip Wade to participate in the Live Stream Replay Programme.

Transcript

I'm really happy to see you,

Filip.

Thank you for being here with us.

Well,

Since we are here now together,

I thought we could just jump right in.

Actually,

Just a short introduction,

I met Filip in Iceland a few years ago,

And I had the amazing possibility to meet him in a beautiful inquiry that he hosted in Iceland.

And his event had a profound experience on me,

And I'm really happy to have you tonight.

And we have some questions that a lot of people are feeling called to get more deeper in touch with themselves.

Yeah,

Looking forward to that.

So you fire away.

I'll be led by you,

Sif,

But I'm really looking forward to coming to Amsterdam.

My first question for you,

Filip,

Is because you have been sharing about self-realizations,

And I wanted to ask you about your journey,

How it started,

A little bit about your background so people know a bit more about you.

You can share a little bit with us.

Yeah,

Okay.

So where do you begin?

I think probably worth saying right from the outset,

Actually,

For quite a large part of my life,

I didn't consider myself on any kind of spiritual path.

I became a chartered civil engineer and had a very good career,

Enjoyed that career.

But there was always this sense that something else was coming.

And I think the real trigger for me,

When people ask me this question,

Was when I was on a skiing holiday in Whistler in the year 2000,

Which is on the west coast of Canada.

And I really,

Really was into skiing those days.

Even after a hard day's skiing,

I remember waking up one morning and realized I'd been dreaming about work,

And I thought,

You know,

Thousands of miles from home.

I remember saying to myself,

This has got to stop.

And actually what that led to was me discovering or exploring meditation.

And I absolutely committed to meditation from that point onwards,

A half an hour a day minimum,

No matter what I was doing.

And for quite a large chunk of the first nine years of that,

I was working anywhere between 60 and 70 hours a week.

It was a very busy life as a chartered civil engineer.

And I was a director of a very large business.

But I still meditated no matter what,

Even if it was on the train,

Between meetings,

Or whatever,

I would meditate.

And that kind of opened up a whole new vista for me.

Because although I was quite calm as an individual,

Things settled down inside and started to explore other things,

Found out about alternative therapies and so forth,

And explored quite a bit of that.

And as that all unfolded more and more,

It started to become clear.

And I found out that actually,

I was really quite aligned with this.

And it was actually really more about myself.

I was not only helping myself clearing baggage that I've been carrying around,

I'm talking about emotional baggage there,

But also getting insights,

As well as helping other people along the way.

And about five years in,

I realized that actually,

Even though I was at a very successful stage in my career,

That I was going to be following a different path at some point in the future.

And that came in 2009,

When right at the top of the profession,

I'd just turned a big business around for the company I was working for.

It was a great success for the company,

The staff,

The clients,

The concern.

I just said,

I'm going.

The reason I'm going is because I just feel this calling to follow,

This spiritual calling inside.

And I didn't really know where it was leading.

So I left that world behind.

And in the process,

I was fortunate to meet my wife,

Sue.

I wasn't married,

So I met Sue at that point.

And the journey,

The meditation journey,

Just continued and deepened and deepened.

And as I explored all these different things,

I realized there was a kind of golden thread.

And the first phase of that became clear to me in 2011,

When I had a very profound spiritual insight experience that I now call Spheres of Light.

But not only was that powerful for me,

But it was really surprising,

That strong calling to share that with others.

And I did that.

And people had profound effects when I shared this very simple meditation with them.

And then a couple of years or so after that,

Things just accelerated.

There was a whole host of really,

Really deep,

Profound spiritual experiences.

Lots of stuff cleared from me.

And it was in 2014 when it all became totally unequivocal.

And that was the realization of what referred to itself,

Actually,

In the very deep meditation of infinite silence.

And that was realized to be the absolute essence of who you really are.

And in that experience,

Whilst it can't really be put in words,

And it's not really an experience in the traditional sense,

Because nothing happens there,

But essentially,

There was just an absolute infinity.

There was no body,

No sense of a Philip,

A stillness,

A sense of eternity,

A knowing and an awareness that this was the self,

The much talked about true self.

But it was non-personal,

Because there was no Philip.

And somewhere in that,

That voice,

Shall we say,

The two words infinite silence emerged.

And at that point,

This body that you see in front of you,

An awareness of that started to arise again.

It was almost like it was reforming,

Because there'd been no body awareness.

No body awareness.

And that took quite a while,

I would say,

In linear time.

But body awareness came back.

And I kind of sometimes express it this way.

It was like everything had changed,

And nothing had changed.

And what I mean by that is that nothing had changed in the sense that actually here was,

Or is,

This true essence that we all are.

And it was totally and utterly clear that actually what you consider to be me was that,

And we're all that.

That was absolutely crystal clear.

And always had been,

And always will be that.

So nothing had changed in that regard,

But also everything changed in the sense that who I,

Should we say,

Up to that point,

Might have thought I was,

Which was Philip with this story,

These experiences.

Well,

That wasn't really totally true anymore.

You know,

Though certainly this body was here,

And those experiences can be remembered.

But the clarity about the self,

And the self-realization,

Which is non-personal,

Had presented itself,

So to speak.

That's the only way I can put it.

In two words.

Wow.

Yeah.

So that was the game changer,

If you want.

I mean,

There'd been lots and lots going on before that.

But that was the kind of like absolute game changer.

And actually that brought together a whole set of insights and experiences I've had before that,

Which didn't really make much sense up until that point.

So things like my website that I use now,

Which is gatewaylocation.

Org,

The main name of that had actually been given to me seven years before,

And I had no idea what to do with that.

And it wasn't until then I thought,

Oh,

It's to share this message of realization.

And you are the gateway location.

You are.

You just don't realize it.

So there was that and many other things as well,

And lots more since.

But that kind of like,

In a nutshell,

In a brief summary,

Is kind of how things unfolded.

Wow.

Beautiful.

Thank you for sharing this.

I think a lot of people have this little bit of unclarity about self-realization.

What is this self and how do I know self?

Does it really exist?

And there's a lot of people who are a little bit around that subject unclear.

How could you specify it for the people who are still on the path and are figuring out how to get a deeper connection to themselves?

Okay.

So one of the fundamental things about this,

You know,

There's so much talk about subjective self-realization is to,

You could put it this way,

You get there by realizing you are already there.

How can this be true?

Because it's actually incredibly simple because we are already this,

But it doesn't feel like our experience.

And the reason for that is because we're basically believe in the idea or the illusion that we're something else.

And that something else is this body,

The story of it,

And all the ideas,

Attachments,

And identifications of it.

And so basically the fundamental block to the realization is belief.

And the belief in that which you are not.

Now when this belief,

This single belief,

This kind of illusory idea is dissolved completely,

Then the self can be realized.

And so people immediately say,

Well,

How do I do that?

So the thing is,

And this is another mind boggler,

There is no how,

You know,

And the reason there's no how is because you are already this self.

What actually transpires,

Shall we say,

Is that as one,

It will appear as a journey,

A spiritual journey,

A path unfolding in front of you.

That's okay,

There's nothing wrong with that.

What effectively is happening is you're starting to move your awareness and your attention into awareness.

I tend to sort of characterize it as coming from the head to the heart.

And as you,

Instead of looking at life from the headspace,

You start to look from the awareness of the heartspace.

And I don't just mean the physical heart.

I mean,

That is also a metaphor for the heart of the universe or the true self.

As that awareness gradually moves or deepens into this space,

Then you're starting to look,

So to speak,

Or witness or observe from the spiritual space.

And what that does is it starts to dissolve the egoic identity or the attachment and identification and belief in it.

And this is happening automatically as the awareness is shifting.

It will tend to bring up,

And I know you want to go on to this later,

This process,

And it will appear as a process,

Will tend to bring up to the surface all the stuff that you are not,

Particularly emotional baggage,

Particularly your beliefs and so forth.

But if you're trusting in the power of the awareness that we all are,

All this stuff,

Shall we say,

Dissolves just in the light of that awareness.

But it requires what I call a journey of trust.

We start off by taking maybe baby steps,

It appears at first,

On this journey of trust.

And then it turns into what I call the highest form of trust,

Which is not having to trust at all,

Which is another mind boggler.

The highest form of trust,

Not having to trust at all,

Is the knowing that you are this.

That's like a total trust.

You know,

Like if you cut your finger,

You know it's going to heal,

You don't really think about it,

You might put plaster on it and wash the wounds and stuff like that,

And you let your body get on with it.

This self,

This awareness,

Is infinitely powerful.

And if that,

Shall we say,

So to speak,

You let that put that in charge,

The rest is inevitable.

In fact,

I often say self-realization is inevitable.

It's really a matter of whether it's in this form that you have now or another.

If there's one certainty,

So to speak,

In the universe is that you are this.

Now this self,

You asked about that,

This self isn't a personal thing.

It's not like,

Oh,

Philip's a great guy,

You know,

He's realized the self.

No,

It's not like that.

The self is totally non-personal.

It's simply just awareness.

Just awareness.

It's not a thing.

You know,

People talk about no thing,

But then they make that into a thing.

But this no thingness that's often talked about in spiritual paths and awarenesses,

It really is not a thing.

It is just awareness.

And you could say this awareness is aware of itself as awareness.

It didn't come from its head,

You know,

The head.

It referred to it as infinite silence.

And one of the many reasons those two words were chosen.

It's infinite.

It's also silent.

It's also still.

But also for short,

The two words infinite silence come to is,

But the word is.

And it's another reference to it is isness.

It just is.

So this awareness is forever here.

But we kind of miss the blindingly obvious because we're so focused on what's going on up here.

We kind of miss that actually,

While all this chatter is going on up here,

We forget that there's something,

A higher awareness that's watching it all.

It's actually watching it all.

And that watcher I sometimes refer to as the silent witness.

You know,

You're not your thoughts,

You're not your emotions,

Or feelings and so forth.

They're all being watched.

They're like clouds or waves.

They arise.

Yeah.

And then they go away.

They're all impermanent,

All temporary.

A thought may come and it may go.

An emotion may come and it goes.

Who is the one that sees that arising and then falling away?

Yeah.

That comes back to what I call the silent witness.

It's untouched,

It's unmoved.

It's just simply watching neutrally without any judgment.

And even before that,

The witness itself is birthed from the silence and the witness itself dissolves into silence.

I sometimes refer to this as like a sliver of ice in a glass of water.

I always have a glass of water.

So basically,

You know,

Like if we were to consider the glass of water and the ice in it,

If you thought of the ice cube as the personhood identity,

The egoic identity,

It's surrounded by this ocean of water and that's consciousness.

Actually even the ego is a form of consciousness.

It's just maybe just a lower vibration,

Shall we say.

But as less energy is put into the identification with the personal self and more and more trust is placed in the heart space,

What happens is that the ice cube,

The personal identity starts to dissolve,

Dissolve,

Dissolve,

Dissolve and eventually the ice becomes the water and realizes it was water all along.

So another way of putting this is we say fish discover water last.

You know,

Like that which we're swimming in,

The ocean of consciousness.

Oh my gosh,

I am that.

Like that.

And sometimes we refer to it as the greatest OMG moment in the universe.

How could I possibly dismiss that?

We have a saying in English,

You can't see the wood for the trees.

It's just like there's there,

It's here now.

In front of you,

It's so blindingly obvious you cannot see it.

So this dissolution of the ice cube into the ocean of consciousness,

This is what self-realization is all about.

Beautiful.

Yeah.

And this self is simply awareness and from that pure essence,

So to speak,

Everything else in that phenomenal world,

Which starts with beingness,

The firstborn of the silence,

I would call it spheres of light or the pure universal state I am.

Not personal I am,

Universal state I am.

That's,

If you like,

The firstborn of the silence and then form,

Physical domain,

If you like,

Is the next part.

But actually they're all one,

They're not separate.

I call it,

It's been referred to for many years as the triality,

Many traditions,

The triality of consciousness.

You will hear it referred to in many ways.

Yeah.

Becomes like one.

The three in one.

The three in one is,

Yeah,

So the absolute beingness and then form,

But it's all one.

It's all one.

And where we get lost in the human story is identifying with the story,

Forgetting that there's beingness,

Non-personal beingness before that,

And then even before that,

There's the infinite silence of the essence.

But this,

When I say before,

I don't mean before in time,

I just mean ahead of or higher awareness,

Something like that.

So this self that everybody's looking for,

And everybody is looking for this,

Even if they're consciously aware of it or not.

It's actually already here.

And so one of the kind of,

Should we say,

Traps,

So to speak,

On the spiritual journey is to,

You go searching,

And initially we go searching outside of ourselves.

You know,

Such and such,

He has the answer or she has the answer.

And so we look for it in them rather than realizing it's in here.

And then you realize there is no in and there is no out,

It's just all this.

Oh,

Just the one seed of consciousness.

Yeah.

And to the mind,

Ego mind,

It's a scary thing because it basically relies for its identity on belief.

Yeah.

Sure.

And so its biggest fear is its dissolution into that realization.

And we manifest that as a fear of death.

Yeah.

Okay,

So yeah,

So that's kind of this self,

Just to kind of summarize,

This self is non-personal awareness.

It just is infinite silence.

Beautiful.

Wow,

Philip,

This is really,

Really beautifully put into words.

And when I met you in Iceland,

I actually came to you very intuitively.

I had this really,

Really,

Really profound experience with you and the whole group,

And it sank in,

Yeah,

In a way that is unexplainable.

So really thankful for that experience and that it came into my path.

Yeah,

That was an unexpected journey for me as well.

I couldn't tell you.

Yeah,

There in Iceland.

But actually,

I wanted to ask you a little bit deeper into this whole beautiful experience of awareness and being part of the whole.

I think there's a lot of people also on the path that struggle there a little bit about,

They talk about spiritual bypass or not really knowing how to deal with their pain or what does it all mean.

So could you maybe share a little bit from your own experience,

How you have moved about and come to this place that you are in right now in your life?

Sure,

Sure,

Yeah.

Yeah,

So I think you mentioned the word spiritual bypass there,

And it was interesting.

It's an interesting phrase,

Really,

Because for me,

I actually only came across the term a couple of years ago,

And to me,

It didn't make any sense.

The reason I say that is because in truth,

There is a spiritual bypass.

But I can understand why people might use the term.

I think it's kind of a misunderstanding.

But I just decided to do a while back,

Which is looking up to where it actually came from.

So I did that,

And I ended up writing a post about it.

And I'm just going to read it out here,

Because I think it's useful for the listeners.

So apparently,

Originally,

It came from a guy called John Wellwood.

And a spiritual bypass or spiritual bypassing is a tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues,

Psychological wounds,

And unfinished developmental tasks.

That was the definition I found.

And really what's being pointed out there,

If you're trying to do that,

To use spiritual practices for sidestep,

Or avoid facing this emotional baggage that 99.

99% of the population is carrying around,

Then this is basically a function of ego that's taking place there,

And you're deluding yourself.

Because that stuff,

That energy,

That emotional baggage is still going to be there.

So for me,

When I'm sharing this with people,

It's a very direct pointing that I'm offering to say,

Yes,

You are already this self,

And you cannot,

In fact,

Not be that.

You cannot not be that.

But what you can do is believe in the idea that you're not enough to create suffering.

The Buddha said life is suffering.

And what he meant by that was,

It's the identified life,

The attached life,

The belief in this less than,

Of this identity.

That's what creates the suffering.

Because basically,

Then,

Building your whole life,

Your whole joy,

Or your happiness,

Should I say,

Around certain criteria,

And these things are always going to change.

And the true joy,

The perfume of the silence,

Is what comes from the unchanging essence.

So to try to bypass this baggage,

It's certainly the case that people can have awakening experiences,

Even in the depths of,

Say,

Depression or something like that,

And what happens there is that a crack opens in the egoic identity,

A kind of surrender takes place,

And the light of awareness starts to pour through.

Well,

Unless that surrender's total,

There's always going to be this baggage here,

And quite often,

In a lot of those cases,

People struggle,

Then,

And can't really reconcile this energy that they carry around with the awareness that there's more than they thought.

And that's because the emotional energy body's not being cleared,

It's dragging you back,

You're still identified,

You're still attached to it,

And you're still believing it.

So really,

To get a truly anchored realization,

You have to,

In my experience,

When these issues come up,

And they do,

You know,

In deep meditation,

Or as you're passing through life,

Life events trigger you,

Is not to run away from them,

Not to see them as some challenge,

But actually to see them as an invitation,

That completely changes it,

To see them as an invitation to let it go,

Or dissolve it,

Would be a more accurate way of putting it.

A lot of talk is said about letting go,

But really,

Ultimately,

There's no one to let go of it,

Because you are this on personal essence.

So dissolution,

Dissolving with the light of awareness of this baggage,

As it comes up,

As it presents itself,

This fear,

This anger,

This guilt,

Whatever it is,

That witness I was talking about,

When you look at it from the silent space of this awareness,

I call it a miracle,

A miracle happens.

So this energy,

This fear,

Or whatever it is,

That is right here for you now,

You can feel it in your body,

It feels really real.

You simply place your trust in the higher awareness that you truly are,

And you go,

Okay,

This is here,

Okay,

I'm not going to judge it,

I'm going to judge myself for it,

I'm going to feel it,

I'm going to allow myself to feel it fully,

But,

And crucially,

Trust only in the highest awareness that you really are.

And as you trust in that,

And accept the invitation that's come from within,

That's come from within,

What happens is automatically no effort required,

No effort required,

That fear,

That guilt,

That whatever it is,

It arises,

It may get very strong,

And then it will just dissolve automatically,

Just by being watched.

And I call this process transmuting fear into love.

And it's ultimately what I call effortless grace.

You know,

People tend to strive towards or work hard at,

But actually,

The key is allowing it to be effortless,

And trusting in the power of the awareness.

And all these things,

When they come up,

Then,

If you see them as invitations rather than judges,

Then you can go,

Aha,

Thank you for showing that I'm still carrying this crap that I don't need.

I'm not going to judge myself,

I'm not going to judge anybody else who may have been involved with it.

I'm just going to sit here,

Trust in the power of the awareness and just watch it pass.

It's that simple.

It turns out to be that simple.

If you're in the midst of it,

It can feel really challenging,

Don't get me wrong.

But ultimately,

When you've experienced this once,

Maybe twice,

A couple of times,

Just this silent process,

It then becomes experiential,

And then you can really move forward very,

Very rapidly.

So going back to the term spiritual bypass,

For me,

Ultimately,

There is no spiritual bypass.

If you're going to realize the self and have it anchored,

You have to face the stuff.

But it will happen automatically.

You don't have to go searching for it.

It's not outside,

Yeah.

Yeah,

Yeah.

You just trust,

You trust,

You go with that awareness,

You trust that,

You trust and trust some more,

And then you keep on trusting.

And naturally,

These things will bubble up,

And you face them as they arise.

You don't run away,

Or I can't deal with that now in my life.

I've heard people say that.

Actually now is the right time to deal with it,

When it presents itself.

And the more,

Should we say practice that you become at that,

The faster and more smoothly you run through,

You run through that.

This process is what became apparent in my own,

Should we say,

Journey.

But hundreds of other people I've witnessed with this same,

You know,

Either helping them,

Guiding them to see this simplicity,

And the power of it is in its absolute simplicity.

Yeah,

Beautiful.

So yeah,

No major efforts required,

Just trust.

Just trust.

In my own experience,

I also see that life is presenting the accurate moment and accurate circumstances to process things when they show up.

And the pain is actually to not go through it and not feel it.

But I'm also curious to hear a little bit about how did it practically happen in your life?

How was your journey?

You had your path of owning this company,

And then you talk about self-realization.

How did you actually move about these things in life?

And how can you in your own?

Okay,

Yeah.

So I mean,

I kind of gave a summary of it before,

But the essentially,

Because I totally committed to the meditation,

What became clear to me,

I can't remember precisely at what point this choice was made.

But for me,

When I commit to something,

I mean,

I really commit,

It's like 100%.

And what I eventually realized was necessary was to only choose what I call the highest and greatest.

Philip?

Yes.

Sorry,

Philip,

There were some disruptions.

There were some disruptions with the connection.

So maybe you can share.

Is it okay now?

It's better now.

Yeah,

Thank you.

Oh,

It's better now,

Okay.

So what I eventually realized was to only follow what I eventually realized is you're basically come to call your highest and greatest good.

Hello.

I'm just going to tell you one thing.

Yeah,

Just bear with me a second.

I've got a bit of noise here.

I'm just going to try something.

I'm going to come off.

Right,

It's back on.

I believe I'm going to come off.

Right,

Is that any better?

Still getting a little bit of interference.

Anyway,

I'll carry on.

I'll carry on.

So I eventually realized that what I needed to choose was what I now refer to as the highest and greatest good.

And that was basically,

It's like just following your heart,

Basically,

Just following your heart.

And the question then comes,

Well,

How do you know?

And actually following your heart is simply when you get an inspiration,

An insight,

From a meditation or when you're in the shower,

When it first arises,

It feels light,

Inviting,

Uplifting,

Inspiring.

This one you can trust because it's usually a surprise.

When it comes from the head,

It's usually I must,

I should,

I ought to,

And it's very heavy,

Kind of carrying something around.

So what became clear for me was only choosing those inspirations.

And that made me face fears that I had.

And a lot of big changes that needed to happen.

I won't go into all of those,

But moving on from relationships,

From actually ultimately leaving the job behind,

All these kind of choices were the right choices for me.

And as I followed those choices more and more,

It became clearer and clearer the direction of travel.

And I'm going to try turning my laptop.

It's all getting a bit noisy,

Just to see what happens.

Yeah,

So I followed that path,

Just kept on following,

Kept on listening.

And if I didn't understand a particular message or insight,

I just kept going,

Just kept going until I did understand it.

And if there was some fear came up about following a path,

And there certainly were plenty,

I just faced them head on.

For me,

There was no other way.

It's just like,

If this is blocking me,

I have to deal with it,

And I have to deal with it now.

So that's the way I went about it.

And that led to the clarity.

I became aware that I needed,

Even though my career was very successful,

And I enjoyed it,

I needed to leave it behind.

And that brought up its own whole host of issues,

How I'm going to live,

How I'm going to support myself,

And all those things.

But all those issues I faced head on.

Wow,

That's a really courageous path.

And also the strength of intuition as well.

Yeah,

Yeah,

Just walked into this void on a 60 or 70 hour working week,

Having turned this major business around for the company,

And the company,

A quarter of a billion pounds worth contract for the next five years,

Walked out and there was just this void in front of me.

I had a vague idea of what was going to happen,

But actually that didn't pan out at all.

I ended up meeting my wife for coffee on the Monday morning after I finished work on the Friday.

We were married a year later.

And there was a whole host of other things that presented itself and everything,

Everything that was a challenge presented itself and it was just faced as it came on,

Really.

I'm not joking about that.

I just thought I was absolutely committed.

Wow.

It's inspiring to hear.

Yeah,

Just absolutely committed.

For me,

There was nothing more important than this.

You know,

If it was going to bring an end to suffering,

And that's what I eventually realized it was doing,

Then it was worth it.

And don't get me wrong,

There were some big challenges or they appeared to be challenges at the time.

Now you can kind of smile at them,

But facing them head on.

And that process I talked about earlier was what became the clarity as part of the process,

Shall we say.

Wow.

So you dove completely into the head first.

And that meant facing your emotional body and trusting in the process and integrating it.

And then you also,

I think you told me before that you had some also some tools that could help you through the process beforehand,

Before becoming.

.

.

Yes,

In the early stages,

I'd learned some tools like things like EFT,

And Reiki,

Quantum touch,

And actually started to use those both on myself and other people.

And they helped kind of clear,

Shall we say,

Some of the surface stuff or whatever.

And I did other things as well.

But what became clear as I practiced or used all these different things is that I just sensed there was a golden thread.

And I eventually came to realize the golden thread was awareness.

So whilst one could use a tool like EFT and all the rest of it,

I learned.

And ultimately,

The clarity came that although these have been useful tools for me along the way,

And don't get me wrong,

They're very beautiful.

And you know,

They'll help many people,

Those tools.

I eventually got the insight that I had to leave them,

Even all of those behind.

So I just dropped all those as well,

Just dropped using those and just relied upon from that point,

The power of awareness.

And that,

So to speak,

Is what led to the realization eventually.

It was already there,

But it just had to manifest up.

It appears like a journey,

But now the journey seems like kind of,

Wow,

Did that really happen?

I can remember it.

But it sort of has a kind of illusory or unreal quality to it.

But the journey nonetheless is still beautiful,

With everything I've experienced brought,

Shall we say,

You could say,

Brought me to this point.

And so I'm cool with it.

You know,

It's fantastic.

I have no regrets about any of it.

I think it's even the challenging parts.

Wow,

That sounds so inspiring and beautiful to hear.

And how you kept that warrior spirit and trusted your intuition and all this transition is just really inspiring to hear.

Thank you so much.

You're welcome.

You're welcome.

But I have one actually question that a lot of people are also figuring out,

Especially people who are kind of on their path of realization,

You'd say,

Or spiritual path.

You mentioned it a little bit before about the heart space and following and trusting that intuition and some call it higher excitement.

How do people,

What do you have to say about that?

What is a good way to manage your life?

How do you know what choices to make or not?

I'm so funny.

Sure,

Sure.

So I kind of touched on it already,

But let's just crystallize that a little bit further.

As I say,

The focus for me became what I call the highest and greatest good.

For sure,

I would say is that following your heart.

Yeah,

Following your heart.

Now,

One of the kind of big thing about that is to understand energetically what those two things feel like.

One is following your heart.

The other following the belief system going on in here.

Essentially following your heart,

You need to recognize that when an inspiration comes up,

Bubbles up from the heart space,

You know,

A move in you seeking to invite you in a particular direction.

This is on its first,

Very first awareness.

This is very important.

On its very first awareness,

It's going to feel inspiring.

Yes.

You're going to feel that.

Yes.

It's going to feel light.

It's going to feel uplifting.

Yeah.

And it's going to feel expansive.

Yeah.

So on this first awareness,

Notice all those things.

Notice all those things.

What do they feel like?

This is your invitation to follow an insight and inspiration.

What can happen,

And this is one of the ways most people can struggle,

Is a little bit after that moment of inspiration,

Ego mind kicks back in and goes,

Ah,

What's it?

Remember the last time you tried to do something like that?

Or,

Oh,

You're not good enough to do this.

Or,

You know,

You'll never get there.

Or all these things.

And these feel heavy and dense.

As these questions,

Doubts,

And so forth come up,

The thing is not to put the energy of belief into them.

It's to look at them in the eye,

Focus deeply.

It's like you're having a laugh,

As we say in English.

You're basically,

From the heart space,

You're kind of almost saying to yourself,

This is ego mind having a laugh.

And you witness that.

And there may be some fears come up,

You know,

Because,

You know,

When doubting yourself and so forth,

Face all those using the same process I talked about earlier.

And that way,

You're going to clear the pathway,

So to speak,

Or the blockages to you following this,

When it first arose,

This beautiful insight or inspiration to travel in a particular direction.

Where most of us are living our lives from,

On the other hand,

Is,

You know,

We've been conditioned into,

You must,

You should,

You ought to,

Obligations.

And obligations basically are kind of all built into beliefs.

And these feel much heavier,

Much denser,

Much more contracting.

You're like,

You're carrying this burden.

You know,

It is your duty to,

And obligation is a very rocky road.

One of the big blocks or realizations I had was about a big obligation I thought I had about a particular way things should be.

And letting that dissolve,

Which actually turned out to be quite a big challenge in the way that it unfolded.

And then I had this a big awareness moment,

And then that moment,

It dissolved.

So obligation is not a path of proof.

You're not obliged to anyone or anything.

This doesn't mean that you go around doing anything you like and upsetting and hurt.

No,

It doesn't mean that.

What it means is,

Follow your heart,

Get clarity on what your heart is calling you to.

And meditation is a great tool for you to do that.

But as the insight and inspiration comes up,

Face the issues,

Deal with the issues.

And then the events will start to align in front of you as more and more of the blockages are cleared.

And it will become,

You'll experience more synchronicity.

The more you clear,

The more trusting you are of the true essence that you are,

The more graceful the flowering and unfolding becomes.

So you have to be prepared to face your demons and follow your path.

It's not like,

Oh,

I'll do it two days a week,

And then the other five days,

I'll just follow my thinking mind.

No,

24 seven,

24 seven.

If you're serious about it,

It's got to be that kind of commitment.

Because otherwise what you're doing is constantly changing your mind.

And that's what ego mind does,

Is constantly shape shifting.

One minute it wants this,

Another minute it wants that.

And basically all it's doing is dodging and diving,

Bobbing and weaving,

Trying to maintain its identity.

So there's many tricks it gets up to.

It's not a bad guy.

You need ego as a tool,

But you don't need to be identified and attached and believe in it as your truth.

There has to be like a little grain of sand in the oyster to create the pearl.

There has to be something to hold the body here.

But as soon as you start buying all the beliefs going on up here,

Then you're on a very rocky career,

And that's what's going to cause you suffering.

So listen to your heart,

Listen to your heart,

Get into silence,

Meditate,

Become clear about what is in your highest and greatest good,

Clear the blocks to it,

And keep going,

Keep going,

Keep looking,

Keep listening.

Beautiful.

Thank you for this amazing clarity.

You have such a way with words and energy that just,

There's no way to dismiss it.

But we have a question here,

I think I saw now from Dina Vicker.

She asked,

Hello,

Philip,

Would you liken the combination of the heart,

Mind,

Ego,

And the heart,

Energetics,

To what some would call the sacred marriage?

Just read the question again,

Just so I'm clear on it.

So would you liken the combination of the heart and the heart to what some would call the sacred marriage?

Okay,

So the coming together.

I think that would be quite a nice way of expressing it,

Or articulating it,

Because we tend to sort of treat,

We kind of create this experience of a duality,

Consciousness,

Sort of black,

White,

Hot,

Cold,

This kind of sort of thing.

And so,

And all our attention goes up here,

And we're conditioned into working that way.

But as,

Let's say,

The head sinks,

So to speak,

Or we surrender into the heart space,

Then there is a,

Like a kind of sacred marriage.

In fact,

What is it that is being married to?

You're being married to yourself,

And actually you were never separate from it,

But you just believed that you were,

And so created the experience of being that.

So you could almost say it was a remarriage.

It's sometimes also referred to as,

You know,

Like you're born into this physical body,

And then as the self is realized,

You're rebirthed.

But this marriage is not a marriage to another.

It is marriage or a communion,

That's another way of putting it,

Communion with that which you already are.

So yeah,

Sacred marriage,

But not a marriage to someone,

But the marriage to yourself,

And the realization that actually you were already this.

I think Dina's saying,

Thank you,

I was humbled years ago to experience that.

Well,

That's fantastic,

Dina,

I'm delighted to hear that.

So yeah,

This marriage is a marriage to the self,

But there's no separate self that you're getting married to.

It's,

You know,

It's,

You were already,

You were already this.

Wow,

Beautiful.

Always when I'm talking or when we speak together,

I just feel silent.

So it's like,

Having questions is not a,

So.

Yeah,

It's starting to dissolve.

It's starting to dissolve itself.

Yeah.

And the reason that happens,

This kind of,

You become more and more silent.

And the question starts going,

Because what you're doing,

Basically,

Is you're starting to listen.

You know,

You're putting,

The attention is moving from this headspace into the heartspace,

And you're starting to become stiller and silent.

And it's like,

In everything that I'm sharing here,

I have no idea what I'm going to say.

A question is asked,

And it's like,

One leans into the question,

And the silence speaks,

So to speak.

It communicates.

And in the energetic signature,

The words are like signal carriers to the silence,

To the silence.

And actually,

That same silence,

The infinite silence,

Is already here in you,

Through you,

And as you.

And so what happens is like a resonance is taking place with the embodied silence.

Beautiful.

Yeah.

And that starts to resonate,

And then it might also say,

Entrains.

So let's say the vibration is down here somewhere,

And then it entrains to this higher vibration,

So to speak,

Of the silence.

This is just a metaphor.

You know,

It's just a metaphor.

And it happens because you are already this.

And it also happens because there's a willingness,

There's an openness in the form that we're calling Sith to this.

And it's that openness,

That sincerity,

That inner choice that allows that to happen.

And so what happens is that you become more silent,

More still,

More trusting,

And you're starting to become more and more aware of who you really are.

So this happens at events a lot.

Yes.

Yeah.

Just,

You know,

You might spend lots of time exploring different questions,

Meditations,

And so forth.

But really,

Sitting in the presence of the silence is enough.

And ultimately,

Sometimes I say this,

In silence you will realize your truth.

In truth,

You will realize you are silence.

It's so simple.

Wow.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I feel it.

Thank you.

Yeah.

It's the absolute simplicity.

It's the absolute simplicity that bamboozles the mind.

Yeah.

But eventually,

It kind of like,

It gets cornered.

And eventually,

Like the ice cube,

It just dissolves.

Yeah.

And the beliefs,

The beliefs dissolve,

Like Dina was talking about in her response there.

But also the belief in belief dissolves.

The belief in belief dissolves.

It's a mind game.

The mind goes,

Oh my God.

And so what you're left with is just what was already there.

You're just forgotten.

You're just forgotten.

And actually,

Sometimes I sort of play around with that word belief.

Because in English,

At least,

I found out many years ago now,

Somebody shared this with me,

That the root of the word in English belief comes from two words,

Be,

The word be,

To be,

And loef,

L-O-E-F in Old English.

And in Old English,

Loef was love.

And also,

In this way of expressing it,

It was with the person as the object.

So the original root of it didn't mean belief.

Belief is something outside of you,

Something you experience.

The original root then was be,

Love.

Wow.

Beautiful.

Be love.

Be love.

And of course,

You are love.

Yeah.

And in fact,

I'd go even further and say,

Actually,

You're the source of the experience of love.

That's the silence.

Yeah.

So as belief in belief dissolves,

What you're left with,

Ultimately,

Is the perfumes.

And then the perfumes of the silence emanate,

And you're the silence.

And you know,

The perfumes of the silence,

I sometimes refer to it this way,

Just to kind of express it.

You know,

That would be love.

That would be joy.

That would be peace.

That would be grace.

That would be gratitude.

And whenever one of those is present,

You'll find that all the others are present.

And so the true gratitude,

Which is the one I mentioned last,

All the others will also be there.

And it's like a gratitude for itself,

As itself,

Unto itself.

This is the big S self.

And this is a permanent bubbling up,

And it's for no reason.

Joy for no reason.

Gratitude for no reason.

Love for no reason.

There's no condition.

There's no bound to it.

Yes,

Exactly.

It simply is.

It is.

Infinite silence again,

Or is-ness.

Yeah,

It just is that.

And so when we start placing conditions on it,

We create suffering.

And then my experience with you,

Philip,

When I'm talking with you now,

And when I've been in your presence,

It's just,

It becomes so clear.

It's more in the presence of what you're talking about,

And the experience of it,

That this huge field becomes so evident.

So would you say that you are permanently in this kind of state,

Or are there moments where you,

Yeah,

The awareness disappears?

Good question,

Liz,

Good question.

So I would say since 2014,

When I kind of became completely unequivocal,

The awareness of as the silence is the silence has been,

Shall we say,

Non-stop.

That's always been there.

However,

What happened,

Just to kind of crystallize it a little bit further,

As that realization flowered,

So to speak,

If you can put it that way,

Or become aware of itself as that in this form,

It was like my body was plugged into the electricity mains for two weeks.

The vibration was so high.

And I remember,

I was thinking,

What on earth is going on?

And it's like it was buzzing.

I mean,

Really,

If you just sort of take that picture of my aura,

God knows what it would have looked like.

It was like I was a nuclear power plant in my body.

Every cell was vibrating.

And I became aware of what was happening.

I kind of felt like mind was wanting to go,

Was trying to get back in,

So to speak.

And it was asking what's happening.

But the insight that came was this,

It's three words,

Life is death.

The realization was that it wasn't the body that was dying.

It was the identity and the attachment and belief in it.

So as that dissolved,

The ability to be triggered by all that obviously dissolves with it.

However,

There has been kind of just occasionally you might sort of see something,

Like a little wave starting to stretch around.

But it's like the silence sees it straight away.

And as soon as it casts its gaze upon it,

It just dissolves like that.

So the awareness is always here.

But if there's anything that emerges,

It's like the silence just catches it,

Looks at it,

And dissolves at it very,

Very fast.

You're still going to have to live life in a body.

You still have to go to the supermarket,

Eat,

And all those things.

You know,

There's that old Zen saying,

Before enlightenment,

Chop wood,

Carry water.

After enlightenment,

Chop wood,

Carry water.

In the first case,

There was suffering.

In the second,

Even if a little thing might emerge,

As long as the emotional body's been really kind of dealt with and faced full on,

Then there may be little things here and there that might emerge,

But they get dissolved very,

Very quickly.

And you're just simply in this place of trust,

Always.

So some of that's gone on,

I would say.

You know,

I call it the great cleansing is the word I use for that,

The great cleansing.

So that is likely to carry on for a while for people,

Even if you've had quite a lot of emotional baggage before.

There's this kind of integration that takes place.

And it's also important to understand that nobody's trying to claim perfection here.

There is still this body,

And there are still things like,

I always have peanut butter for my breakfast on my toast.

It's kind of like,

I do that.

Before and after enlightenment.

So it's like,

There are things that,

The way it's articulated or expressed through Philip are unique,

Even though one is the self.

I sometimes like to think of this as like a diamond.

So we're all like,

The forms that we have are like facets of a diamond.

And you're the whole diamond,

But you see the beauty of the diamond through its facets,

By the way the light catches that kind of scratch on the surface or essence like that.

So it's not about kind of some kind of ideal human perfection.

Nobody would claim that.

You can still get things wrong.

Things can still happen.

But what you'll find is they become,

They don't bother you anymore.

I'll give you a practical example.

A couple of years ago,

My wife and I were going on holiday.

My car was quite old.

And we're setting off on the way to the airport.

And the car started to make this horrible smell and very hot thing was coming from the car we're driving on the motorway pulled over,

Long story short,

The car broke down whilst we're on the way to the airport on holiday.

Now before you might have got completely stressed about that,

But it just so happened we left early that day.

There was a reason why we needed to leave early.

We never do that.

We'd had covered by a breakdown service.

So all we had to do was phone them,

They took the car back to our local garage,

They got a taxi for us to the airport.

All was well.

And all we felt was gratitude that all this had happened seamlessly.

By the time we got to Manchester airport,

What would have been a massive queue had completely gone and we just sailed through.

Now you can imagine getting stressed about that,

Couldn't you?

Of course.

Yeah.

It's the human conditions.

But actually that wasn't the experience.

So life still happens.

Things will still break down.

You're still gonna have some preferences,

But the awareness of yourself as this,

That's the key part.

It's not like some,

One of the old ideas about self-realization is you have to be wearing some kind of clothing that you might wear in the East and sat in a cave somewhere.

That's not,

You know,

That's for ages.

Like my accountant told me the other day,

She was like,

Well,

If you want to be on this path,

Why don't you just go to the Himalayas and be a monk and raise consciousness there?

Yeah.

These ideas are really also present actually in the people.

Yeah,

They are.

And actually,

Whilst for some people that will be the way,

The fact is there's billions of people living in the West and that's not going to be a practical option.

You know,

The realization of the self is independent of where you are.

You know,

These days you can watch any number of inspirational,

Insightful videos on YouTube and get insight and follow that.

So you don't have to be sat in a cave in the Himalayas somewhere to realize the self.

Yes,

Beautiful.

So I'm not quite sure where all that came from now,

But yeah,

You know,

So,

Oh yeah,

It was about,

So it's always there.

It's always there.

But you know,

Things happen,

Life unfolds and you just trust,

You just trust.

And that trust becomes the knowing.

And you know,

You might still make mistakes,

You know,

You might not add up a number right or you might not write something down right.

But you know,

These are just trivial things,

You know,

It comes as part of being in a human form.

It's okay.

It's all okay.

It's all effortless and it's a different time.

Like I think Dina is sharing right now.

That was the age of Pisces.

We are now in the age of Aquarius.

Time to share with the collective.

And this is also related to the awakenings that are happening more and more.

There's a lot of people who are waking up in different ways and starting to come realize more of life.

Without a doubt,

Yeah.

I mean,

I see it.

There's a real acceleration going on.

Actually,

The awakening experiences are much more widespread than you might,

You know,

Realize.

Oh,

Yeah.

You know,

Even if you go back 10 years,

It wasn't so obvious.

So more and more people are waking up to this that's already here.

Each path may be experienced differently.

And the more that are waking up,

The more will wake up.

Yes.

And embrace it.

Then,

For me,

I call it life's greatest gift unto itself.

Yeah.

You know,

Why would you not be open to that possibility?

You are life.

Yes,

Exactly.

I feel so like in peace and calm,

Like it's really hard for me to follow up that there are other people watching.

I can just like completely rest in the silence.

For me,

Nature is this feeling.

Every time I'm in nature,

I feel so grateful.

And this is the place where I effortlessly feel this peace.

This is actually one more question that a lot of people that are around me are dealing with is sensitivity and heightened sensitivity.

Yeah.

Especially people living in the city and in environments that are not so natural to ourselves.

For me,

For example,

Every time I'm in nature,

I feel so different immediately.

And this is the sensitivity.

So what would you recommend a lot of these people that I seem to be surrounded by?

This comes up quite a lot in different forms,

This question.

This kind of whole thing around sensitivity,

Empathic and so forth.

And it certainly feels like a simpler process when you're out in,

You go to Iceland,

Where you're from.

Yeah.

I'm the blessing to be a couple of times now.

I use the word that the purity of the vibrational landscape there is just,

You know,

It's really beautiful.

But actually,

For most of us,

That's not necessarily going to be the opportunity.

So there's this landscape around us,

Big cities,

Lots of people,

Lots of egos and stuff like that.

And so the key to managing that is really to be totally focused on trusting who you really are.

You know,

This unchanging essence,

This infinite silence,

This awareness,

Because as your attention is rested,

And I do mean rested in and as that,

Then this is always untouched and unmoved by the appearance of the ever changing environment out there.

Now what a kind of a kind of mistake that people can make is that some,

Let's use an example sometimes uses,

You might go into a peaceful place and oops,

Excuse me,

I'm just gonna have to plug my phone in because it's about to.

Okay,

Let me see my battery.

Yeah,

Sorry,

Just can you see me?

Okay,

Yes,

I see you.

So I just have to move position because it was literally about to.

So if you go into a peaceful place,

Then it seems easy.

And you kind of tune into you're literally automatically tuning into yourself.

You might go into a place where there's been an argument or something like that.

You have a phrase in English,

It's like you cut the atmosphere with a knife.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And you can go,

Ooh,

Don't like that.

Now a mistake that people make with when they feel that energy,

They start to identify with that.

Yes,

With that.

Yeah,

Exactly.

They start to,

I mean,

Actually touching.

Whoa.

This is the identification.

There we go.

Yeah,

Cocktail.

And it knocks you out.

So perhaps it was good that that happened.

The so you start to identify with that.

And it actually,

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And I feel like I'm just in this bliss bubble of silence.

So it's really hard for me to.

.

.

But for those who are watching now,

Are there anything else?

Any other questions that are coming up maybe?

Yes,

We are pushing each other into our highest spiritual evolution.

Yes,

We are pushing each other into our highest spiritual evolution.

If we accept the invitation.

Otherwise we get the lesson from another until we get it.

Then move on to another lesson trigger.

Exactly.

Exactly.

So we don't need to keep on repeating these patterns.

So we don't need to keep on repeating these patterns.

If we take it at the first opportunity,

Face it,

If we take it at the first opportunity,

Face it,

Look it straight in the eye and deal with it then.

The process becomes more graceful,

The process becomes more graceful,

More flowing,

Easier.

You can go down the path of resistance and it becomes much more of a struggle.

Or you can go,

So to speak,

Down the path of allowing.

Or you can go,

So to speak,

Down the path of allowing.

And it will flow much more simply,

Much more easily.

And it will flow much more simply,

Much more easily.

So Dina is agreeing with that.

That's good to hear.

So Dina is agreeing with that.

That's good to hear.

The other thing I was going to say,

Just before you say that,

The reason this makes sense to people is because we already know this stuff.

We know this stuff.

We just forgot.

You were going to say something.

Sorry I interrupted.

For those who are also tuning in,

For those who are also tuning in,

The way that the energy comes up,

You mentioned before that the way to dissolve it is to be with it,

Meaning the awareness of it,

And then allowing the energetic feeling of it and then allowing the energetic feeling of it to come and be there instead of reacting on it or making it yours,

Which is the challenge that of course everybody is facing,

But also I mentioned before the highly sensitive ones who are feeling these kind of things coming all directions.

I see it like the more we open up,

I see it like the more we open up,

We become sensitive.

There are people who are naturally more open and other people who are,

Of course everybody are,

But there are more people who are closed off or protected.

Actually,

There's nothing to protect yourself from.

Thank you.

Yeah,

Actually you just mentioned a word there because this word protection sometimes comes up a lot and that in itself creates a block to the realization.

And that in itself creates a block to the realization.

The reason that is,

You can still hear about this in various forums,

But this true self needs no protection.

But this true self needs no protection.

It's untouched,

Unmoved by the movements of the world.

It's untouched,

Unmoved by the movements of the world.

It's in the trusting of that,

Basically the need for protection is ultimately what creates a fear in you.

The idea that you need protecting.

The true self doesn't need that.

And then in this way you're talking about energetically from others or in a more lighter way,

But of course having someone in your life that is not treating you well or you have some encounters,

That's of course not what you're saying.

You're saying just generally that you are actually creating that by the thought of protection which actually doesn't exist if you are the ocean itself.

Which actually doesn't exist if you are the ocean itself.

Exactly,

Yeah.

So,

I mean,

Obviously as you deepen into your awareness and obviously there may be certain situations,

Circumstances,

Relationships and so forth in life that you move away from.

Yes.

And the reason you do that is because they are no longer in service of your highest truth.

Yes,

Exactly.

Somebody may be acting in an abusive way and to sort of stay connected to that is probably in many,

Many cases not going to serve you.

So,

The highest choice for you there might be to move away from that.

So,

The highest choice for you there might be to move away from that.

This happens so that then you can manage and focus on what's coming up in a more effective way.

So,

Lots of changes tend to take place and they take place in three main areas that I talk about.

People,

Places and events.

You know,

You might,

And maybe people as you open up into this essence,

Some people will say,

Wow,

What a change is taking place in you.

How can I explore this as well?

Others will be frightened by it at the other end of the spectrum because they've got a definition of who you are.

And they may,

And you may just have to simply accept that they can't embrace your journey and that you have to choose what's right for you.

Because your highest good,

That's something about the highest good question you asked earlier.

What's in your highest and greatest good is also in everybody else's highest and greatest good.

Once you're crystal clear on that.

However,

Unless people are coming from the heart space,

They may not see that.

This is why it's important for you to get clarity and when you're clear,

Follow that with love and grace.

And if that means moving away from certain situations,

People,

Places and events,

Then do that with trust.

What that will do is open up a whole new vista in front of you.

Yes.

Wow.

We've been quite a journey together.

A whole workshop in itself.

Also,

For those who are watching,

Or maybe see this later on,

You can always go back to the live call.

We had some problems in the beginning.

I don't know how it will turn out,

But I hope that you can see this beautiful message that Filip is bringing forward into our live call tonight.

And maybe you could also write down when I post the event online on Home of Gaia and on my Facebook page,

Maybe you can also give them a link to your website and where they can find your live streams that go more specific into different themes that people are struggling with or finding deeper meaning in.

Yes,

Sure.

What I'll do when you've done that,

You've posted that,

I can provide a link to the website and I'll maybe provide some links to some of the key live streams I've mentioned.

Live stream 11,

The transmuting theory into love is a good one.

And the mirroring truth.

There's many,

But I'll include a few there for you that people can have a look at.

We will share in the comment below your information about your beautiful,

Beautiful sharings.

And we will be here together in Amsterdam for anyone who feels the calling to be on this journey together.

Look forward to that then.

So namaste everybody.

Have a great evening and rest of the week.

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Profound Insight here pointing to the end of suffering. The more times you listen the more your True Nature will be un covered. Yes you will un cover what is already there... Here is this moment… Now. Namaste.