1:53:13

Meditation Practice To A Living Meditation (Replay No. 13)

by Philip Wade

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5
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guided
Activity
Meditation
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Everyone
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Meditation begins as a practice and ends as Spiritual Self Realisation. Insight is shared on how all of life is an invitation to meditation, what emotional triggers really are, the source of inspiration and how to remain present and have Inner Peace at all times by recognising the Silent and Untouched Witness within. The purpose of spiritual practice is clarified and how inner commitment and willingness are fundamentally important. The fibre optic lamp is a simple metaphor for Self Realisation

MeditationSelf RealizationPresenceAwarenessSilenceSelf ObservationEmotional TriggersPhenomenaEmotional BodySelf CommitmentWillingnessInner PeaceSilent WitnessSelf Judgment ReleaseTriggers As TreasuresInvitationDissolve Afflictive EmotionsAwareness MeditationsLiving MeditationsPracticesPractice And RealizationSources Of InspirationSpiritual Practices

Transcript

So welcome everybody,

Philip Weed here from North Yorkshire in England.

Welcome to this stream which I've called Life Meditation and as I've said before all of the streams can stand alone but they also build upon each other and the focus really for this stream I wanted to offer some insight on you know the whole purpose of meditation and spiritual practice and making life itself a meditation and not just something that you should we say fit into your day in the busy lives that we tend to live particularly in the western world at least anyway so that's really the focus of tonight's stream and also as I promised picked up on a number of the experiences for those who took part in the invitation to use the seven any number of the seven infinite silence meditations on my profile from a quarter of an hour to an hour and a half and a few people have shared their experiences either in the reviews or in the nothing special group so I also wanted to pick out some of those experiences offer some insight and share those to help bring all of that that to life for you as well so we'll do that as well and hi I can just see Ruth has joined us as well so really want to kick off with you know as I said in the introductory text for the stream you know when you first come to meditation it's it's you see it as a practice something that you sit down or lie down and do and certainly that will be how you experience at the first it's a doing and certainly when if you've never meditated before a lot of people can find that challenging at first because they start to realize just how much noise is going on in their heads and that can actually put a lot of people off in fact I remember hearing a story I think it was just an interview I heard with Oprah Winfrey a few years back and I remember somebody had said to her oh yeah meditation I tried that once for 10 minutes and nothing happened which kind of made me laugh really but it's it's also a reference to some of the challenges that people face when they start a meditation practice because they notice all this going on I think that that's a bad thing but actually it's not because what has actually happened there is there's been a recognition possibly even for the first time for many people that actually there's an awful lot of activity going on up here but the interesting thing about it is the fact that it's been noticed observed what the vast majority of people miss and I don't think it's pointed out enough in meditation is that the mere fact that it can be seen or observed that that noise that's going on yet means that there's a higher awareness a higher witnessing presence that's just simply doing that observation and for those of you who joined the transmuting fear into love live stream we spent quite a bit of time on that stream opening to recognizing that untouched awareness untouched awareness and in fact that replay is now available on the profile I think it's either number six or number seven so do look at that one if you've not seen that one because we spent quite a bit of time on that stream just look looking at that because people can easily miss that even if they've been meditating for for some time and that that witnessing presence is the key to self-realization so as I say we start meditation as a practice but the thing that very few people get to currently see is that it begins as a practice and ends as a realization so it starts as a doing and as you move into that space of awareness recognize that in fact you are that awareness then that is the ending and that is the realization and when that becomes experientially oh my gosh I am that then that is the realization of the self and that's why I say it begins as a practice and ends as a realization and at that point that's when life itself you realize that you are in fact a living meditation you are in fact a living meditation so one of the insights I remember I was actually on a flight back from a holiday a number of years ago and I was reflecting on new ways of sharing the message with people talking about how life comes to flower like this and I had in my consciousness the words in the beginning and I thought well I'll just see what comes as I go into the silence and as to where to sort of take this next for people and the instant I closed my eyes on the plane and we just literally taken off with the words in the beginning in my consciousness what the words that popped forward next was was the end in the beginning was the end and indeed the beginning is the end and the end is the beginning because what's realized is that life is that which we are and it is in fact eternal and that's why we refer to it as a circle it has no beginning and has no end so in the beginning was the end is the same pointing expressed differently and you're here all of us are here to realize that and it's as I say at that point that life becomes the living meditation so it turns out that the purpose of all spiritual practice the purpose of all spiritual practice I like to put it this way is so you don't have to and what I mean by that is so you don't have to practice at being who you really are you don't have to practice at being who you really are it has now in truth being realized that you are in fact life eternal that in the beginning was the end and all of this that we experience as linear time as I've said a number of times over the all these streams is an appearance on the green screen of consciousness and the green screen is exactly the same as I'm referring to you know what they use in the movies consciousness is like a green screen you can project anything onto it and all of that is appearing in front of awareness all of that is appearing in front of awareness and that's that's the same awareness that's recognizing particularly as a beginner meditator all of the noise that's going on there but because we've spent so long in the body mind and being conditioned to thinking that that's all we are we the beginner meditator and even experienced meditators experience this as a problem but when you recognize that in fact the witnessing presence is untouched unmoved and unblemished by the appearances then we're really onto something just looking at Alicia's comments that yes in the beginning was the end was one thing I said and in the end is the beginning yes I also said that because the end and the beginning are in fact one they are in fact one uh in the christian traditions they can refer to this as the alpha and the omega the letters of the greek alphabet the alpha and the omega the alpha being the first letter of the greek alphabet and the omega being the last are actually not separate they're one so in the beginning was the end and in the end is also the beginning and that means life is eternal and it's this that you will realize that this awareness this untouched and unblemished awareness is in fact that which you are and it is eternal and it's never not been here never not being here and it turns out the whole process of spiritual self-realization is thus profoundly simple because that which you are seeking is that in fact which you already are the internal awareness the infinite silence the infinite consciousness the source itself we collectively are all that and one of the great beauties of it is that you don't need to believe a word I say about it because as it is realized as it is realized it will become self-evident and this self is infinite silence or infinite consciousness or infinite awareness these are all different words for the same thing so our meditation practice is really all aimed at it becoming in the end practice-less you'll still find real life beings sit down to formally meditate just because they want to it's just a beautiful space to be but actually one can live as this living awareness this living awareness this living meditation and be untouched by the appearances in life particularly and importantly as we talked about in the transmuting fear into love live stream when the emotional body has been dissolved because then the triggers that we experience in life will no longer be there to trouble us now the whole the thing about a lot of spirituality and this has come up a few times over the streams people tend to and it's quite I suppose it's quite normal for us to do this particularly in the west so to separate out our lives in this is my word life this is my spiritual practice and so forth but actually all of life all of life is your spiritual practice all of it you see because life is so perfect and so complete and so integrated and interconnected that everything that's actually happening and appearing on this green screen is there for a purpose and the ultimate purpose that is therefore is to bring you us all to the recollection the realization that that which we are seeking is in fact that which we already are and it's really about pausing stopping paying attention and noticing what life is presenting and then realizing that actually we are in fact the ultimate observer or witness to it to it the infinite awareness everything is appearing in front of us on that green screen so these life is continuously presenting this invitation to us and for large chunks of our lives we may not just simply be recognizing that it appears that all we are is this body mind and life is happening and the road appears to be opening up in front of us but in truth the road is leading to us us as this awareness it's not opening out in front of you it's actually leading to you leading to you and there's many ways in which life might present these invitations a very common one that i suspect everybody here has experienced and we've talked about in the transmuting fear into love live stream we've talked about in the emotions and block live streams and there's been questions about it across all of the live streams really is what i call i've called for the sake of a for the sake of a kind of little phrase from triggers to treasures those moments when we're triggered by the events i'm talking emotionally here now energetically spiritually we're triggered by the events of life whether it be an event you know something somebody said whatever it happens to be now those triggers when we're identified as the body mind and the emotional stuff that comes up you will see them as challenges things that you want to get rid of but the one of the key pointings that i've been focusing a lot over these live streams is to recognize those triggers as treasures to recognize the triggers as treasures to set to see them as an invitation from life itself to move beyond them to dissolve them which we explored at length in the transmuting fear into love live stream the how-to of that using the power of that awareness the bit that recognizes and is untouched and unmoved the appearances on the green screen screen so triggers are not what most of humanity considers them to be triggers in fact are treasures and if you can look at them that way it will change your whole perspective on them because now you'll start to get you'll start to get that actually they're an invitation to this realization they're a piece of information that's being communicated through the vehicle of the body to recognize that there's a something here that no longer serves you and that actually there's a higher presence a higher awareness that will just if one trusts that will dissolve them of their own accord you still have to feel it you still have to face it but you don't have to suffer through that process if you trust the power of that awareness so triggers are treasures alan saying they're great teachers and yes you will experience a life like this as some kind of teaching and people often respond to what i'm sharing as teachings and in fact i've been called many things over the years but one thing i always like to point out is that i'm not actually teaching anything i'm not actually teaching teaching anything and the reason for that is simply that it's called realization self-realization for a very good reason because it is a realization oh my gosh i am that and this eye is an infinite eye an infinite eye not a personal eye and so when anything that i'm saying here resonates for people the reason it resonates is because inside the inner infinite dimensions you already know this so whilst we might refer to such sharing as i'm doing tonight as a teaching in fact it's only a pointing to something that is already known by you so that's one way that um sorry yes i can feel that i already know it good i'm glad that you can feel that linda because it's just like an anaha moment a recognition a recollection oh my gosh yes that makes so much sense and the reason it makes so much sense you already knew you already knew the other one of the other ways in which life presents these opportunities is inspirations and we talked a bit about that when we talked about trusting the heart the inspirations these are the things that come up in our quietest moments it could be when we're in the shower it could be like blossom is out in nature walking there's a gap up in the thought stream and in this space into this space flows inspiration and at that moment as i talked about at length in the trusting the heart stream that feels uplifting inviting inspiring expansive and those inspirations are coming straight from that infinite silence that infinite awareness and they too are imputations to look to follow that calling because the ultimate resolution of that and the ultimate end point of that is the realization of the self and that was in stark contrast to the mind stuff which is heavy contracting should must ought to makes a big difference so that's another way the triggers are treasures inspirations are also invitations but also indeed any phenomena even the most mundane phenomena that's happening here within us in our body and i have a short audio on insight timer about this are you taking the time to stop the recognition that all of these phenomena thoughts feelings sensations are just like waves moving around and if you associate and identify with the waves you will feed the waves but if you can see that they're all changing over time and recognize that there has to be a witness to them then you can see that all phenomena are simply appearances and that includes that includes your physical body which as i've said on previous streams it is something that you have like you might have a car but it is not that which you are so all phenomena it turns out are in fact invitations to recognize awareness and that's also why when somebody first sits down to meditate and they recognize oh my gosh there's so much noise going on in here that's a key aha moment oh my gosh look at all that but what was it that saw that what was it that saw that that was awareness that was awareness yes indeed leisure that's why it feels so familiar now tracy has put on a comment there a question about is supreme consciousness our goal and there's something very important about the way that question is phrased that i need to point out and draw out for you and it's not a goal it's not a goal and if you make it into a goal you will push it away because you'll always be striving reaching stretching to something that you perceive is not already here and so in making it a goal you're actually pushing that realization away from you the whole point of it is to recognize that one is already it and yes it may well be true that it's not your experience right now you may well be being triggered left right and center you may well find meditation challenging at times you may well find other things happening in life but the purpose of meditation the purpose of the spiritual inquiry another of the live streams is to constantly keep on bringing you back bringing you back hang on a minute who or what is it that's having this challenge and am i that but who am i question but who am i meditation who is the one that has the problem the challenge it is the identity the ego mind who is the one that witnesses it and sees and remains untouched by it that's infinite awareness infinite silence infinite consciousness so self-realization enlightenment whatever words you want to give it is not a goal it's a realization it is a realization and for sure over the human time frame which we experience in linear time it appears like things are unfolding in front of us but it's always important to recognize that that which you are seeking be open to that which you are seeking is in fact that which you already are now this that you already are it's not a personal thing in any way it's not a personal thing in any way and it's that reference that word that tracy's put down there the absolute but the absolute the infinite and the finite the infinite and the finite are not separate the finite is an appearance within the infinite it is in the finite in fact they're entwined and folded and embraced within or or and so we need to recognize that the infinite hasn't gone anywhere and in fact is in everything and so if we make it a goal we push it away if we're open to realizing it is here untouched and unmoved and that the infinite and the finite are actually not separate but one unified whole then we're really onto something uh what's usually it's not something separate from what it is and what we are indeed she's feeling like and linda's don't feel like she's been starting to touch this space this is good because you are in fact this already so tracy's added that yet in the relative we must understand and i will clarify that and unpack that a bit for you uh tracy because it's not actually an understanding we could use the word inner standing the inner version of understanding now the inner standing is actually a knowing just like the aha moments oh my gosh i've just realized this because we already knew so it won't come through a mental process of understanding it will only come through realizing understanding knowing and actually then it will be experienced as you will understand but that is the process is inner standing knowing and then there's an apparent understanding but that knowing is already there it isn't something that you need to learn it is only here to be realized only here to be realized i'm glad that that's making sense um that's tracy so that this is very important what i'm sharing here because the word spiritual teachings is used a lot but it's i always step back from it and unpack it because there's nothing for you to learn only to realize only to realize good joy so i'm glad that you found that that was beneficial and you tracy so that's why it was an important question and the answer is also important for the reasons i've just shared uh alan i think the word might be comprehending well the trouble with all words really is that they're limited and you know it's not about necessarily the words i'm using is it's much more about the essence of the space in which they're coming from and so you will eventually go beyond the words you see when the words are coming to be expressed from the heart space of silence from awareness i might use a specific word and it might point to something but it carries it carries an energetic signature that will transport you beyond the word to silence to silence by the way i think i've just seen some donations coming through so thank you very much for those much appreciated on behalf of myself and insight timer it helps insight timer do what they do and me do what i do so i'll often say the same thing in a number of different ways to come at it from a number of different angles from this space of awareness but really i'm inviting you to go beyond the words to inner standing or the knowing a deep knowing which is not easy to put into words indeed and indeed it's in fact impossible so here's a little insight that i will share with you i came across it a few years ago in a book it was called the book of miadad the book of miadad m-i-r-d-a-d by a realised being called mikhail neymi it's a very good book you might want to read it it's a novel actually but it's about self-realisation and mikhail neymi says in the book this words at best are an honest lie words at best are an honest lie silence at worst is a naked verity silence at worst is a naked verity and verity in this context means fundamental truth fundamental truth and i just want to scroll back up there because there was a comment i've missed um yeah indeed sharon that's exactly what it's all about guiding you back to what you already are and alan yes that's also correct the witness and so shimmy saying the witness is watching everything that changes but the witness just is it is that indeed it is shimmy and that is why all of the phenomena are an invitation to realisation that you are in fact the untouched awareness thomas is saying i'm not quite sure what would mean the hearing knowledge versus brain knowledge understanding heart oh hearts knowing yeah and the heart knowing is that which arises from awareness it just arises from awareness so one of the things i wanted to talk about tonight is the remaining present and then the possibility of being able to remain present at all times and this comes from recognising what these phenomena are and that they are in fact appearances on the green screen and that there's this untouched awareness that's simply witnessing them simply witnessing and so those triggers that become treasures the inspirations that are invitations and the phenomena it all points us towards self-observation and the ultimate observation and the ultimate science is the science of self-realisation in yoga in india they call it yoga a science it's the ultimate science because science is ultimately about observation of phenomena but when you recognise from within that all of these phenomena are appearances and that there's an unchanging witness to them and in fact you are that then that's the ultimate realisation and it is in fact the ultimate science as well so all so-called spiritual teachings and non-teachings they're realisations hope that makes sense jeremy's saying on january 5th 2019 i realised everything you say full recognition all the cliches etc but i lost forgot it how can i have forgotten after having seen could you give me could you give me some advice on what to do with this okay so there's clearly been a deep awareness there and jeremy and i'm delighted to hear that the good news is it hasn't gone anywhere and although it appears at the human level it's been lost or forgotten the one that feels that way isn't who you are and that can happen because of the emotional body that's not been dissolved unresolved so there's a kind of gravitational pull back into identity that occurs as a result of that so even forget the idea of forgetting is a phenomena that's being observed so there's a few things one is to i would invite you to revisit the transmuting fear into love live stream because certainly a good part of why people have this experience of forgetting or appearing to forget is that they're re-associating with what's going on up here and in the body and all the emotionals and stuff like that and you're actually being invited to come back to awareness and let all of that dissolve the i that lost it is the identity i and in fact the identity i can never be it the realization is non-personal it's an infinite i that recognizes itself as that so what's happening for you jeremy is that you're re-associating with so what's happening for you jeremy is that you're re-associating with the the i thought the small i thought and that re-association with the small i thought will give you the experience of appearing to lose this the moving back to recognizing that the i thought itself the small i thought is also a phenomena an appearance on the green screen is what will bring back the experience of realizing it never actually went anywhere so revisit the live stream on transmuting fear into love watch that i thought who is it what is it that sees that i thought are you the i thought or are you the witness to it so that's the pointing i just on the word advice none of what i share is about advice it's all about pointings recognition of that which you already know i'm being picky on some of the words because they can be confusing when you see them as teachings and advice and they're not that so living in an abundance of phenomena yeah and that's what life is an abundance there's an appearance and abundance of phenomena but all of the phenomena appear in front of awareness tracy saying how do we give meaning to life as omnipresent so this sort of kind of points us towards what is the meaning of life and what is the purpose of life in the physical form now life is its own purpose life is its own purpose is its own purpose it's also its own meaning now in the absolute domain meaning is meaningless there is the absolute field of energy that has no phenomena no time no space no concepts so meaning is completely meaningless there's an absence of meaning meaning is something that's personally assigned something may mean something to one person and mean something completely different to another so meaning is not a function of the infinite awareness it's a human assigned characteristic but life itself is it's so this is another way of saying life itself is its own meaning and its own purpose you are this the purpose of life in this body is to realize that you are in fact life itself and that is in fact its own purpose and its own meaning wrapped into one we can't give meaning to the omnipresent because it is beyond and before the concept of meaning hopefully that makes sense uh alan's suggesting a book it's by daniel ingram yeah okay so that's something that you might want to look at jeremy but really that the pointing i've shared there was um uh is more than enough for you and let me just have a look okay i missed yeah although it's a bit embarrassing to write down so here's a here's a thing jeremy having had this um realization you see that that uh thing there the word embarrassing that could only be the identity that's embarrassed so that in itself is a trigger that's a treasure to move beyond to recognize that you are not the embarrassment if that makes sense to you to see that as an appearance and an invitation and let that dissolve embarrassment is a function of identity so let me just have a quick look at things i wanted to make sure i'd covered covered what i'd like to do before i come on to some of the experiences that people have had you're welcome jeremy um is just have a a few minutes on the recognizing awareness stroke who am i meditation again and then i'll come to sharing some of the insights around the experiences so let's just do that let's just close our eyes for a moment and as you close your eyes just recognize observe the phenomena that are here now bodily sensations feelings emotions any thoughts and just simply silently accept fully they are here don't judge them just watch notice they come they go they go they increase in intensity like waves they go they change emotions move from one to another just keep your eyes closed for this now all of these phenomena constantly moving changing all being watched an emotion it comes if you just simply accept that it is here it will pass if you identify with it it may get stronger so just watch and just allow and now be open to this is that which sees the phenomena witnesses the phenomena phenomena affected by them or does it remain untouched or unmoved if all the phenomena are changing shape-shifting they must all be being seen is this that sees is affected by the changing phenomena and even if it can't be seen now it will eventually be recognized that this witnessing presence always remains untouched and blemished with your eyes still closed just ask inside who i who am and if something comes that's good if nothing's there that's also fine i'm now asking inside who am i without memory who am i without memory and just be with that who am without and just rest here knowing that whatever's appearing is simply that an appearance and you remain as the untouched awareness and this very simple exercise we've just done recognizing awareness and then adding the who am i meditation is a very quick way to bring yourself back to awareness throughout the day throughout the day you can just use the who am i or the who am i without memory use it a few times if necessary because you'll see eventually there's always a gap appears in the thought stream using a word alan used the other day in the group recognizing that the thought stream appears to have kidnapped the process the recognition that one's gone off on that caught the train of thought that's the point to recognize is to use the who am i meditation the who am i without memory and with practice it will snap you back into awareness use this 10 20 30 40 times a day as you go about your day only takes a few moments and you're constantly bringing yourself back to that witnessing presence not identifying with the thought stream the i thought for your thoughts become your beliefs and your beliefs become your experience and your experience with beliefs will be suffering whereas as awareness you will remain untouched unmoved and blemished and through this simple practice you can make life all of it not just when you're sat down in the meditation chair become a living meditation meditation it takes moments to do and the more regularly that you do that it will become ingrained and it will become a flowering and realizing and then when you come to formally sit down and meditate that also will become simpler easier and more powerful use these moments use this tool integrated with the infinite silence meditation which is awareness based awareness based you see the difference between this and say a visualization with visualization you're looking at increasing phenomena coming from the mind space and self-realization is about coming before the mind beyond the concept of mind to that which is before phenomena before phenomena that's awareness that's awareness it's not about lots of nice sensations it's about recognizing that there's an untouched presence and when that is realized and one recognizes realizes that one is that then that interesting the natural perfumes of that are much more pleasant as a bodily experience experience but don't identify with those either don't identify with those either for they too are appearances and if you don't identify with them don't chase after them you won't then create another form of suffering for yourself i just want to so just look at what stefan's said there i felt like i was in a cinema watching the emotions and thoughts on the screen surrealistic one the observer two it was like i was watching the emotions and thoughts for the very first time wondering what they are stefan stefan i am absolutely delighted for you because i know you've attended all these streams and many others before i even did anything on an insight time i've been pointing out this for a while i'm delighted that that you've seen that because once that's seen never forgotten never forgotten so that's beautiful so it may be that you all had some little insights around that little exercise we've just done but because i said i would prioritize those that shared their experiences before the stream on the stream and give some insights on them that's what i want to go to next so i will keep an eye on the comments here but i want to now spend a little bit of time and we'll do another meditation to finish just doing a walk around some of the experiences that were shared and offering some insight on those because it will help everybody thank you for the donations once again everybody good thank you for that laura so i'm just going to go through these uh in the order that i got them um so abby was the first one i don't know if abby's on the stream tonight and she'd done the 40 minute infinite silence meditation i didn't get a chance for her to sort of clarify this fully with me but she said that um this it felt like on the first day it felt like my body was in me for a short time now if i understood what she was pointing out correctly there is in fact a recognition that the body itself is an appearance in the infinite so it is encased within embraced within the infinite and that which you truly are is also a witness to the body and this is an indication that awareness has been recognized so a very simple share but a very important pointing and links with the who am i meditation the infinite silence meditation so that's what the first one i wanted to share and just point that out thank you also for the donation there from sharon and shimmy joyce said that she'd listened to the second of the two uh the seven meditations and she said she felt stillness i she said she felt stillness i felt i joined to oneness opened my heart to surrender and she was very grateful for the guidance and then there were various other subsequent experiences where she spoke about stillness emptiness awareness and what these are showing is that you know we sometimes we get this sensation or sense of stillness love peace grace joy but even these are phenomena and therefore there must be something that isn't a thing but there must be that which recognizes or that which observes these phenomena and that is the awareness which is why when she wrote down in her experiences stillness emptiness awareness which is why when she wrote down in her experiences stillness emptiness awareness with arrows pointing between them lead all of it pointing towards awareness in front of which all phenomena appear so these are important realizations of recognitions of awareness that you were coming to their uh joyce so thanks very much for sharing that i'm going to move on to alan i'm moving through these fairly quickly because there's quite a few to cover and i wanted to kind of um comment on a few of them as possible for insight on them so alan used the 14 minute meditation for this particular experience experiences and he says this the sessions guided me to very sudden and short glimpses of the vast void space i had glimpses of it before but this meditation seems to show the crack more often in which experience seems to happen including the bunch of sensations that that form what i usually call me this space feels void vast dark silent however i also have the feeling that the real thing has no actual qualities and it is the mind attributing those qualities to it using the absence related concepts like void dark silent in a futile manner to translate it into a memorable and imaginable mental symbol i don't know if any of this makes sense it makes perfect sense to me alan or should i say to awareness it makes perfect sense this is actually a really good insight inner standing knowing and the reason the meditation was the infinite silence meditation it opens you up in that way is because it is that which you are and it's a recognition it's all the pointings in it about recognizing that infinite silence that infinite awareness that's already there so it's quite true to say that we're trying to assign qualities to that which has no qualities which is the infinite awareness or the infinite silence yeah all of the phenomena appear in front of that it went on to say i'm just going to offer some insight on this film most of the glimpses have been of this very space but in today's session there was also a glimpse of the content of experience in this space experienced as some kind of happenings intertwined with the void space hard to explain indeed it felt like a movie notice that word that no one was watching the illusory self was appearing in the movie and the movie was happening but there was no one to watch exactly so this again in your words alan are pointing out this this phrase i've used tonight a lot the green screen all of the phenomena projected onto the screen of consciousness and the witness which doesn't have a personal identity is simply watching simply watching so i wanted to draw that out for you alan and share that with others this is what an awareness rooted meditation will open you up to because it's not about nice sensations and all the rest of it these will come with the recognition and the realization of awareness it's about recognizing one is awareness and then these profound realizations will flow from that so these are really good insights that you've shared there alan and i wanted to draw them out the next one i saw was from blossom and she's been using various meditations she's done number one six and seven meditations and also from that a 45 minute silent meditation of her own and she'd also hurt her back prior to this initially she said she experienced the pain in my lower back as i sat then the emotions surfaced which i felt and released i then felt as if i was light and floating as if i was floating in a dark deep space in absolute stillness except i had no physical body when i finished the meditation i felt the stillness in my body but not so much the pain sorry stiffness in my body but not so much the pain throughout the day i found that i am definitely noticing that i'm more aware and that i am aware indeed what i would say there blossom is that you are in fact awareness and it's only awareness that recognizes itself as awareness and so we use the i word as i was saying to early earlier to jeremy a lot and we typically mean the personal eye but the eye that we're recognizing here is the infinite eye of awareness and this awareness recognizing remembering itself as that and so what's happening here is that blossom good i'm glad that you see that blossom so what's happening here is that blossom is recognizing that yeah actually i have this body but i'm not this body i am in fact infinite awareness infinite awareness so that's just some insight on blossoms experience there she did share another one um i won't go into this one because she realized that um the experience and things that happened that what she basically said there were a number of interesting experiences phenomena of deep floating in deep space a bright light appearing and so forth and one of the traps in spirituality is to get lost on the phenomena but what she said here was important i have no idea what this bright light was maybe this is energy maybe something else i'm not questioning why it was there nor am i asking why i experienced it it just was and those few sentences there from blossom are very important very important for whatever is appearing don't get identified with it simply allow it to appear simply allow it to be watched with that comes an energetic imprint information insight that will naturally move you deeper into this space of awareness so that's a really good what you've recognized there blossom and i wanted to draw that out and help other people see the same not to get attached to phenomena and i just want to spend a little bit of time just on it can't it isn't necessarily all necessarily all uh should we say fluffy bunny sometimes the crap comes to the surface emotional baggage when one goes on the meditative journey and as i've said tonight those triggers those arisings are treasures they're treasures but when we're so conditioned into identifying with the emotions i am this emotion and thus you become the emotion and thus you suffer then the problems occur so if stuff comes up in meditation which is what ruth is pointing sorry um at here then those are simply invitations simply invitations to allow them to be there to witness them to feel them to face them and let them dissolve in the light of this awareness in the light of this awareness not to treat them as bad or good just simply allow them to be present and the big thing here that um is important to recognize is that the whole process of spiritual self-realization is about moving to the space of recognizing that which you already are already sorry already are and always have been and always will be and for that the energies of belief identification attachment must all dissolve and the primary one of those is belief in the case of mistaken identity now the dissolution of that belief the complete dissolution of that belief is what will bring about the experience sorry the end of suffering however it's important to understand that the dissolution of that identity that belief is the thing that that identity fears the most the identity fears that dissolution the most for it equates that with its disappearance and its death and it equates that it equates that death with the death of the body vehicle and it's not the death of the body vehicle it's the death of the identification identification and so what we're doing is actually happening is an annihilation as the word Alan just used there of belief and even belief in belief but as I say the identity the ego mind fears this the most so fear will come up and the kind of responses of fight flight freeze but all of these are simply phenomena appearing on the green screen and all of those are triggers that will become treasures if they're simply felt witnessed so it's really important to recognize that the identity does not want this the last thing it wants is the realization of the self because the identity is always in small s self-preservation mode it's always in small s self-preservation mode and it does that through the vehicle of beliefs and you become your beliefs so what we need to be open to always is that we are infinite awareness infinite silence life eternal even if it hasn't been realized yet be open to that possibility don't buy the bargain basement offers of the identity which will give you 20 thoughts to the dozen 20 beliefs to the dozen and will offer you more and more of those none of those are true about who you are none of those identifications are true about who you are but it doesn't mean that these things did not happen in life we're not about denial we're not about trying to bypass we're about recognizing we are awareness moving through feeling that pain witnessing that pain and watching the light of awareness to simply dissolve it this is for everybody this is for everybody it isn't always a fluffy bunny journey but that which is beyond it is worth it for that truly is the peace that passeth all understanding so that's a general a general set of insights that i wanted to share with you that aren't specific to anybody to understand that this belief in belief and the belief in the case of my second identity are the central block to the realization of the self and the identity absolutely does not want this to happen but you have always been and always will be this infinite awareness and so the invitation is to recognize and embrace that and the rest will follow and flow from there so take all that comes on the spiritual journey as an invitation to this realization so those were the ones i managed to pick up there's various different ones there throughout some of them i kept kept it fairly brief to try and get you to draw out some of the major points so thank you for those that shared those and hopefully not only the insights you've had useful to you the insights i've offered on them are useful to others here as well so i just want to say also now just once again thank you for the donations on behalf of myself and insight time that it helps insight time at the platform do what it does it helps me reach more people share this message so thank you for that so for our guest is saying philip has the idea that we are all just participants has the idea that we are all just participants in a giant video game and that the infinite silence oops sorry okay is that we're all just us it's a giant video game and that the infinite silence experiences the default state yeah okay so this is one way of looking at it guest the you know we hear a lot these days about virtual reality you know these things where you put on these goggles and watch these amazing experiences but you could say this whole physical domain physical domain is one vast virtual reality game it can you could also say it's both real and unreal so this is a universal virtual reality game you could say it doesn't feel like if you're in the midst and depth of suffering like that and for that there can only be profound and deep compassion but as you open to this as the layers of the emotional body get dissolved as the self is realized as the self is realized and that emotional body is dissolved then you will start to see that you are in fact life eternal and that and that yes this is the self choosing to experience and expressing itself in infinite variety yes it's a little bit like a cd-rom um tracy that's another way of putting it it's sometimes referred to as an illusion but it's we can also say it's both real and unreal it's both and and more you know it's unlimited unlimited what's joy saying thank you very much for the clarification i feel all is well i realize your guidance more in awareness good good choice i'm glad that you're seeing that and thanks for sharing your experiences too for the new people um alongside the streams i specifically created a series of seven versions of the infinite silence awareness-based meditation from quarter of an hour from quarter of an hour to an hour and a half now the quarter of an hour one is fully guided max guidance there's no gaps and the reason for that is it gives you all the pointings in that and that's the one that alan had his profound seeings from and then you can move to more and more silent spaces you can jump straight to those if you want but i wanted to create one that included all the guidance in one space and then have silent spaces and so the the same amount of guidance is in every meditation there's just more silence and the aim is to get you more and more resting in that so the proportion of silence is increasingly higher as you go along so the invitation is still there to continue to use those and share your experiences in the group and we can always pick up on those on any on future streams and as far as the replays are concerned i would invite you not just to listen to them once listen to them again and again again and again because so many years i've been showing so many resources over this people say i'll listen to that again and wow i heard a whole bunch of things i hadn't heard before and so if you do that with gaps in between you will get a lot more from them so they're being made freely available to you obviously the donations are welcome because it helps insight it helps me but they're there for you to use and if you were to only use these 13 there's more than enough there to realize the self indeed in any one of the streams there's enough but with the purpose of the 13 is to give you a number of different angles on the main threads that have come up over many years of sharing this message now so use those use the streams use the replays and the other audios that are getting posted there i've got stacks and stacks over many years that have been built up that i will gradually mount on insight timer so that there's already quite a library and there will be more there will be more i'm just picking up on the comments guess you're saying is there something we can expect after realization of the emphasis when we finally leave these bodies that's a big question so the the thing is that the realization can happen in many different ways and there's no one or right or wrong way and also that's also very important is that the emotional body for most people may not be fully dissolved so part of the integration some people can have a big realization like i talked about on the kundalini live stream and then because they've still got a very dense emotional body go straight back into suffering now that the key there for them is to is to recognize that that happened it hasn't gone anywhere and then allow the the dissolution of the emotional body to take place as the that is fully deepened and integrated and this process can take quite some time folks i need to be clear with you you know it can it can be measured in years this integration of the realization it's kind of like a life journey as that is deepened what also drops is desire or belief belief and desire are essentially the same thing and as desire completely goes then in the eastern traditions they will point to this as no no need to further reincarnate but if the energy if there's even if there's still some energy of belief and desire there then the cycle will continue again i'm pointing at something here that is beyond your experience but as the deepest realization flowers and the seeing deepens within you you will see that to have this experience to have this domain there has to be belief and so for that cycle to come to a completion in its expression as you then all of that has to go but as i've said many times it's not about believing anything i say it's about realizing and then it will become self-evident let me just pop back up to the comments a little bit just to make sure i've not missed anything so people are grateful for that so hopefully that answers your question guest for the replays linda says i think the phrase you mentioned to say during the day who am i okay linda the phrase during the day is either just who am i but for most people that probably won't be enough the one i would point to is the one after that who am i without memory who am i without memory and the reason that one is so powerful is memory we live from memory and imagination but a lot of our imagination comes from memory and memory comes from mind and mind is simply a simple metaphor for mind is thoughts plus beliefs equals mind so when you say who am i without memory it takes away the identification with mind and it will bring you to awareness so that's why i point at that one who am i without memory does anyone know how we can spread the silence to others apart from sending links to friends you mean this you mean specifically the stuff here on insight timer or more generally tracy i'm not sure what you're trying to say there the silence is everywhere already and those people that come on these streams come to the events with me typically somehow seem to find this they just feel cold guest says would you say that i have i have hurt and also loved only myself in this human experience would you say that i have hurt and also loved only myself in this human experience okay it depends what i you're talking about here guest you see the question there is coming from and all questions do so this is not unique to your question come from identity they all come from identity and it is that simple process of believing in that identity that creates the experience of hurt but also that belief in the identity won't actually allow the experience of true love it won't actually allow the experience that you love because identity is limited and it's conditional and love is that which is without condition so there's a lot of use of the phrase around the world of the term unconditional love but if it has a condition it isn't love did you hear that folks if it has a condition it isn't love so the word unconditional is unnecessary in front of love if it has a condition it's a trade it's a contract and that true love is a perfume of the infinite silence and that is what love is that see my stream on relationships or the replay when it comes so hopefully that answers you guessed or helps you belief in the body mind belief in the case of mistaken identity tracy alan i like that equation style oh we adapts them thoughts plus belief equals mind good okay i lost my audio okay yeah it sounds like something at your end there leisure there leisure okay so i think that's pretty much everything i was going to cover would you like another brief meditation to finish yes there's a few yeses okay let's do that then let's do that let's have about five or ten minutes and then we'll close the stream so just close your eyes and simply become aware of your body noticing the phenomena phenomena the feelings the sensations the emotions and simply silently accepting they are without any judgment just watching witnessing nothing you have to do and as you rest in this just be open from your heart from your heart to the experience of the spheres nothing to visualize nothing to do just be open this energy of the spheres or spheres of light is the same as the pure state the infinite pure being and it too is a phenomena is witnessed is seen and this must be from a deeper awareness that i call the silent witness witness rest as this silent witness and simply it too dissolves as merges becomes one with an ocean of infinite silence completely immersed dissolved in through as this infinite silence this rarefied atmosphere of silence silence transforms transmutes dissolves all that you are effortlessly silently simply this infinite silence eternity in the beginning whilst the end eternal infinite silence silence truth in silence you will realize your truth in truth you will realize you are silence infinite silence infinite untouched unblemished unmoved perfect complete eternally this this knowing this never goes anywhere in a moment the tingsha bells three times and as the sound of the tingsha bells gently fades away the awareness remains untouched aware of your body the chair you're sat in whatever you're lay on wherever you are knowing this awareness remains and whenever the moment is right for you if you haven't already done so open your eyes namaste that question you've got there guessed is that a repeat of your earlier question or a slightly different reframing of it the essence is only the belief in the case of mistaken identity as the body mind is the cause of the suffering and this identity self that experiences hurt isn't who you are but the experience of hurt comes from that same belief true love only arises as the perfume of the silence and it's not personal it's not personal linda alan you're welcome the awareness hasn't gone anywhere linda so just be aware of that i'd love that you found the um streams beneficial everybody it's been a joy to share these i've done hundreds of streams in many places um but it's it was quite a different experience sharing them here on a much more focused platform uh here on insight timer so i'm very grateful to insight time for providing this platform uh your donations get split between insight timer and myself that keeps them running helps me continue to share and create more insights experiences live streams whatever for you i think that's probably me done so that is all 13 of the original planned streams now done thank you so much for joining us have a great evening morning afternoon wherever you are in the world this is philip wade here signing off from the universal studio north yorkshire england bye now

Meet your Teacher

Philip WadeRipon, UK

5.0 (9)

Recent Reviews

Sue

September 4, 2025

When I started to listen to this track from the livestream, I couldn't stop listening. It felt like coming home...So many insights that I experienced before, but just as mentioned in this track, had forgotten again. Got caught up in thoughts and emotions and made me feel depressed. Listening to you here Philip brought me back to the truth of Awareness and it's so valuable and already makes me feel better and not lost. Will definitely listen to more replays again and do your Awareness based meditations. Thank you so much, you are a wonderful teacher! Sending you blessings and love πŸ™πŸ’«β€οΈ

Nicole

October 25, 2022

So many great pointings here! πŸ™πŸΌ β€œIt isn’t all fluffy bunny when the emotional baggage comes to the surface.” This gave me a good chuckle which is so nice after being witness to so many of releases of that which I Am not.

Michelle

March 22, 2022

Really enjoying this one Philip, I’m listening to it three times so far. I have some questions and I’ll post them in the group . πŸ™πŸΌπŸ™πŸΌπŸ’•πŸŒ·

BlossomViolet

March 19, 2022

Hi Philip I actually forgot that I attended this live. As I was listening to this replay, took notes and had many AH-HA moments later, I heard you read my experiences. πŸ˜† . No matter how many times listening to these lives/replays, they are still "realisations"., reminders.... My take aways from this replay is: Triggers are TREASURES (To ALLOW them to be there, WITNESS, FEEL and FACE them and let them resolve in the light of AWARENESS. To ALLOW them to be present. Not to label them as good or bad etc. WE ARE AWARENESS πŸ₯°. Thank you Philip.

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