Balance Is The Key To All Things In Life - Live Talk

Join Ian Tucker, the author of "Your Simple Path," for an uplifting InsightTimer live recording. Discover the importance of balance in your life, learn practical strategies to combat burnout and overwhelm, and gain clarity on shaping the life you desire. Don't miss out on this opportunity to find renewed clarity and inspiration for your journey ahead.

Transcript

Good morning,

Good afternoon,

Good evening,

A truly global Insight Timer welcome.

So welcome everyone to this,

A slightly different time again,

I've got the lights on.

So just trying a few different times,

A few different things.

And this is a talk,

Just a short talk,

I'll come on to that in a moment,

Rather than our normal meditation mindfulness practice.

But of course,

The essence is the same,

To slow down,

To become aware,

Just to have a look at life,

Maybe through a slightly different lens from a different angle.

Could we change something subtly that could end up having a profoundly positive effect?

You remember that change happens in a heartbeat,

In a breath,

In a second.

But the first step to any form of change,

Folks,

Is always awareness.

To become aware of something,

Whereas before perhaps it was a white noise,

A behavioral pattern,

Something that we just do or put up with or go through on a daily,

Weekly,

Yearly basis,

Maybe for decades.

So awareness is always the first step towards any change,

Any change at all.

And this talk,

This time together,

Is a look at overcoming burnout,

Feeling less overwhelmed in life.

Maybe feeling that you're a little trapped,

Feeling a little lost,

Drifting,

Whatever it is.

It's so easy to get into that mindset,

Into that behavioral pattern.

In fact,

I heard a quote the other day,

Which I think I took credit for because I used in one of my emails.

It's better to walk in the right direction than keep running in the wrong direction.

Let me say that again.

I'll add a word for emphasis.

It's better to walk slowly in the right direction than to keep running in the wrong direction.

So these connections that we have,

These times together,

Are an opportunity for you to pause,

To assess,

To become aware.

And then I'll give you one or two tools each talk just to consider change,

Things that have helped me over the years.

Burnout is an interesting subject.

We often associate burnout with the executive world,

With work,

Working 80 hours,

100 hours,

Travel,

Becoming completely impacted by the job in hand.

And that was for many years,

Certainly my experience,

I became the job that I did.

I became the title on the card.

When I had a bit of a leap of faith and stepped away from the corporate world about 15,

16 years ago for months after,

I didn't actually know what was,

If I'm honest,

I could be at a dinner party.

I'm trying to sound posh,

Maybe at the pub,

Having a few drinks in those days,

Whatever it was.

And I realized I didn't have that much to talk about because work had completely absorbed me.

So it's interesting that burnout is associated with the work environment,

But actually burnout is simply becoming something where we invest too much time in it.

That can be a relationship that's not serving you,

But you just feel so trapped and absorbed in that relationship.

You feel burnt out.

You have no energy literally to create or even consider change.

It could be that you're the mom or dad of three young children.

At one point in my life,

I had three kids under the age of six.

And that in itself comes with a workload.

It's easy just to become mom or dad and everything else gives around it.

It's interesting because it suggests that burnout or becoming overwhelmed with something is just too much of one thing,

Or maybe too much of one or two things which clump together.

And yet all around us,

We have ideas and hints that balance is the key to anything that truly works in life.

If you look at nature,

The four seasons,

I know we're from all over the world here,

But actually we're just coming into spring in the UK and nature knows that it rests for a season before starting again.

If you look at any sort of machinery,

A hair dryer,

Not that I use one so much these days for obvious reasons,

Industrial machinery,

Anything.

If machinery or apparatus just keeps going,

It burns out.

If you have too much of one season,

It would throw nature out of kilter.

You know it physically.

You know that you can't simply keep running.

You can't keep swimming.

You can't keep jumping.

You can't keep shouting.

I think you know where I'm going with this.

If anything keeps going,

Anything,

Something has to give.

So why is it then with our mental and our emotional well-being,

We sort of switch ourselves onto automatic pilot?

Why is it that we think mentally and emotionally we can just keep going?

We can just keep driving towards the thing it is that's absolutely overpowering us.

Something has to give.

Subtle at times,

But it tends to creep up and become a real issue and manifest into other areas of our life.

Irritability,

Loss of energy,

Loss of motivation.

Maybe we pick up something that's addictive to start to think that things are better.

But the simple fact is this.

Anything that works in life has balance.

If you have a pen and paper,

And if you haven't,

I'd like you to consider getting one for the next 15 minutes or so.

Just make a note of that line.

A starter for 10.

Anything that works in life has balance.

So that would suggest that burnout,

Overwhelm,

Stress,

Worry is simply the absence of balance in any given situation.

If we just keep turning up and working without having an antidote something to step back from,

Then we're going to burn out.

If we just keep doing things that don't serve us,

That some part of you knows on some level isn't good for you,

Something has to give.

Let me introduce you,

If you haven't seen it already,

Folks,

To the logo that I use on my website and for the six-week online course that I run around burnout and being at a bit of a crossroads in life.

And this really,

This simple graphic,

Says everything that I need to say.

In fact,

Again,

If you've got a pen and paper handy,

Just scribble this down now.

A squiggly line with a straight line underneath.

And this is life.

This is life,

Folks.

All in this image.

Everything we need to know is here.

Once we allow ourselves to become aware of it.

Let me explain.

This top line here is the stuff.

This is the uncertainty.

This is the noise.

This is the chaos at times.

This is the job that doesn't serve us,

That doesn't fulfill us.

This is putting hours and hours into something where we'd rather not be.

And this can be anything.

In fact,

What I'd love you to do now is take a moment and just drop in the chat just one word or a phrase.

Give me some ideas of what this top line,

The waves,

The choppiness,

Would be in your life now.

And just one word from you can really help somebody else here,

Folks.

Really remind somebody that they're not going through this alone.

So what would this top line be to you?

What exhausts you?

What doesn't serve you?

What do you feel trapped with?

So anxiety,

Says Jack.

Yeah.

So the uncertainty of life manifests in itself as anxiety,

As nervousness.

Caregiving,

Says Agatha.

Hello,

Agatha.

Lovely to see you.

I can't see you.

Don't panic.

Lovely to have you with us.

Yeah.

Caregiving.

I think without saying too much,

Agatha and I are on a similar path at the moment.

I'm looking after my elderly father.

Even that,

Even with the best intentions,

Can start to burn you out,

To become overwhelming.

And I'll come on to how we can sort that in a moment.

I don't want to miss any of these because I really appreciate you taking the time.

So Kath says worry.

Finance,

Says Melanie.

So Matt,

It's gone off the top of the screen.

Matt,

The human.

Fantastic.

Now we know,

Matt.

Leaving nothing to chance.

Fantastic.

Financial problems.

Anxiety and financial problems.

There's a pattern emerging,

Says Ren.

Still,

Work in day and in the evening.

Maze the expectations from others.

Job insecurity,

Says Daphne.

I'll come on to that,

Karim.

That's a really good point.

That is exactly how life is in reality.

Ups and downs.

Hold that thought.

Thank you for that.

Health issues,

Says Dorata.

There we go.

Perfectionism.

Pleasing.

People pleasing.

Lack of boundaries,

If I'm reading that right,

Says Angie.

I hope I've said that right.

Expectations.

Folks,

Just like I think it was Karim who said.

Life.

We're all in it.

We have a life to live.

This isn't some about some kind of clinical flatline existence where we step back,

Draw the curtains.

I've done that.

But even that lacks balance.

So in here is the stuff.

A complete cross-section,

As you've just proved.

It can be anything.

And this is all relative.

What really submerges somebody here for decades can be water off a duck's back to somebody else.

You're on your path,

Your life.

It's about you and I becoming aware of our own stuff.

And this never goes away.

Don't slam the phone down or whatever the insight timer platform equivalent is.

This never goes away.

For many years of my life,

I used to think that if I drank alcohol,

It would go away,

But I'd wake up and it was still there.

So rather than try and make this disappear,

How can we build a degree of acceptance in to deal with it better?

And that's the key.

So you'll see on this same image,

As Karim said,

Under the ups and downs of life,

The stuff that comes to test us more at some time than others,

There is a flatline.

And it's all about this journey.

It's all about this journey from the stuff that's always going to be there in some guise to awareness and understanding.

And this gap here can mean so many different things,

Folks.

We have a line here.

Now,

I've said that balance is the key to all things in life.

So if this is the stuff and we've identified that being overwhelmed,

Lacking motivation,

Becoming burnt out,

Is investing too much time thinking this is all there is,

There's not another line on the page,

This is your lot and my lot in life.

What happens if we create space?

Now,

Your mind might go to,

I haven't got time to create space and you're back here.

But balance is the key to everything that works in life.

So what does this line mean to you?

Give me an idea that if in an ideal world,

If you had the time,

If you could afford yourself the opportunity,

What would you find to take you out of the noise?

What would you spend time doing that soften the grip that this has on you?

And again,

Just drop it in the chat for me.

So we have the stuff,

We've identified that.

But if you're going to hold on to the fact that balance is the key,

Even if you don't do it at the moment,

Because I'm a realist,

I have times where I'm totally absorbed.

So Maisie said,

Spending time alone,

Solitude,

That's a big one for me.

For so much of my life,

I thought I needed to be loud and around other people.

Nancy says meditation.

Agatha says being in nature.

Jack says self-care,

But it feels really hard to put yourself first.

Jack,

Self-care isn't selfish,

It's critical.

That's probably the topic of another talk.

I get why you would say that,

But it's about recognising the need for space so we can look back on the stuff with a softer,

Wider lens,

With more understanding.

This space can be a space to breathe.

So self-care is all about becoming aware of what you need.

Stillness in nature says,

It's gone off the screen for me now,

Says Helen.

Dania says reading,

Self-care for Melanie.

Walking alone,

Says Nancy.

Carving out time for yourself,

Says Daphne.

Can I just say,

Folks,

That in a few years of running the course and doing this exercise with people,

Just have a look at that.

Let me just read those to you again,

Because there's a real penny drop moment in all of this.

So solitude,

Meditation from Nancy,

Being in nature.

Self-care,

Says Jack.

Stillness in nature,

Getting out.

Reading,

Says Dania.

Self-care,

Says Melanie.

Walking alone,

Carving out time for yourself.

Acceptance,

Sleep.

None of the things that you truly value would build space away from what comes to test you,

Have a monetary value.

Just let that sink in for a moment.

I think it was Janet Jackson and Luther Vandross that says,

The best things in life are free.

I can't believe that's just come to me,

25 years ago.

The best things in life are free.

So when we find time and have the conviction to take care of ourselves,

To practice self-care in whatever guise that looks like,

And look again at the eclectic nature of how you take care of yourself.

We create space.

We create balance from the noise and whatever it is you're feeling trapped with in life.

And then you can make decisions from that place.

Then you can look back and find solutions.

This space has so many different meanings.

If this denotes waves,

And we're simply treading water,

We know what happens sooner or later,

We go under.

So step back and look back upon it.

Create change.

So Wren says,

Breathing exercises,

Believing that the universe will provide us with it's all the way it's meant to be.

Yeah.

Although I would say,

Wren,

And I totally respect what you've said there.

For the first few years,

When I put down the corporate world,

And I started to move into this world,

I wrote a book and I waited for the universe.

I waited for the phone to ring.

It was on a desk in those days.

It was a real phone.

I waited for the email that would change my life,

That would make it all okay.

And that's out of balance,

Because the universe needs me to invest in myself.

The universe needs me to invest in a project,

To invest in a future.

And then I'm supported.

So balance is even laced through that.

I believe and understand everything you've said,

Wren.

But my experience is,

I even got out of balance with that.

Waiting for whatever the universe is to provide.

Be mindful,

Says Helen.

Interesting point,

AJ.

Has the universe shown up?

And at times,

It has.

Often subtle,

Sometimes poignant.

Yeah.

So,

Mixed bag there.

But I just thought I would throw my two pen in,

As we say in England.

So what we've got here,

Folks,

Is life.

I'd ask you to consider that balance is the key to a good life,

To you practicing self-care,

To truly taking care of yourself.

I've got a simple template here that some of you may be familiar with,

If I know some of you have done the course or I've given a talk on here before.

But this can be life-changing,

This piece of paper.

Remember,

Awareness is the first key,

Is the first step.

Otherwise,

We get trapped in the stuff.

So I'm going to encourage you to start this process now,

But please,

Please consider doing it when this talk is finished.

It can have a dramatically profound effect on your life.

Take a piece of paper.

Across the centre of the page,

Draw a line.

At the top of the page,

Something that denotes a happier,

More open,

More fulfilled you.

And at the bottom,

Something that suggests you're not in such a good place.

And then take a pen,

Begin under the line and start to name anything that you know doesn't serve you in life.

Don't hold back,

Make this private work.

Close the door,

Switch off the phone and start to name it.

This can be people.

This can be things that we put in our body.

This can be places we spend time.

This can be habits.

This can be anything that you know lowers your vibrational energy and get it out onto a page.

The stuff,

But name it.

Because my experience of not becoming clear on what it is that I'm feeling trapped with is that all of this starts to mat together,

To become a mass.

And then we simply see this line as the ceiling.

We can't get out.

We lack balance.

We're overwhelmed.

We're suffocating.

We're depressed.

Name what it is that you think is keeping you there.

But then I want you to notice that half the page is still empty.

And here's the beautiful thing about this exercise.

You are free to name anything that has this effect on you,

That lifts your spirits,

That warms your heart,

That that creates more energy,

That brings more balance to your life.

Now you've named things here and you've given me ideas here,

But make this personal to you.

And then here's where you make a promise to yourself because words,

And perhaps some of them you agree with,

Some of you don't.

I only ever speak from the heart here.

It's my experience and my opinion,

Which I impart.

Once you've identified what it is that brings balance into your life,

You can almost rub this line out.

You're not trapped as Melanie puts it.

Absolutely.

Spend time here.

Spend time above the line on the page.

Do this for yourself.

Identify,

Become aware of what brings balance,

Understanding,

Self-care,

Space,

A place to rest,

A place to be,

What nurtures you,

And spend time there.

But the first step is to become clear.

We're not trapped.

We're not stuck in this mass,

But it can start to feel overwhelming.

It burns us out because we just keep trying harder and harder.

We typically move more towards the things that are hurting us,

Thinking more of that will fix it.

The other person has to change.

My boss has to see differently.

The job has to get easier.

The illness has to go away.

But the stuff is the stuff.

And by moving up the page,

By becoming clear,

By becoming aware,

You look back on it from a different angle,

From a different space to take care of yourself.

So let me just read.

Good line,

Daphne.

Yeah.

And Ren says,

When I think I'm sinking,

There's always something positive at the corner showing up for me saying that it's all accompanied by anxiety.

Yeah.

Saying that it's all accompanied by anxiety.

OK.

So my experience,

And I've suffered a lot with anxiety in my life,

Ren,

That in itself can be so de-habilitating.

Just spend time.

Spend time with what takes care of you.

The alternative to that is to give in to the anxiety.

And that sounds so flippant.

And I've suffered with anxiety myself.

But have the conviction and the courage which you have,

Ren,

In abundance.

I've used the line before that just at the back of anything that comes to challenge us is the answer.

Just at the back of any overwhelming noise is the silence.

Just at the back of anything that really comes to test us is the answer,

The lesson,

And the reason to do it.

Anxiety tends to keep me in the noise.

What would happen,

Ren,

If you allowed yourself to spend time with what's positive in the corner?

Give yourself that.

Folks,

Thank you so much for the last half an hour.

I'm hoping that that has planted seeds.

If you wanted to find out more about my work around burnout,

Being overwhelmed,

Being at a crossroads in life,

Feeling trapped,

Then my website is here on the Insight Timer bio.

If you search Overcome Burnout,

Ian Tucker,

There's a short five-talk series here,

All for free on Insight Timer as well.

But for now,

I really do wish you the best.

Balance is the key to all things in life.

Nature gets it.

You get it physically.

Mentally and emotionally,

Let's begin to take care of ourselves,

To step back,

To rest,

To invest time and energy in something that takes care of you.

We've proven it doesn't cost a lot,

And the simplest things really do deliver your deepest needs.

Thank you so much for joining me all.

If you haven't already,

And this is your first time with me and this lovely group,

We meet on a regular basis.

Just click on the button that says Live on the screen,

Click on Follow,

And we'll do this again soon.

A couple of days,

I think Thursday.

Any final questions,

Any final thoughts,

I'd be happy to take them.

So I'm just going to give it a moment before I hit the End Live button to see whether or not anybody wants to add anything.

Okay.

Then I think we're done,

Folks,

Unless something's going to turn up the second I reach for the End button.

Thank you so much for being here.

Bless you,

Agatha.

Lovely to see you again.

Thank you,

Bea.

Ah,

That's a good point.

No hard sell.

I think Bea said that she's listened to the second chapter.

So the second chapter,

I think,

Would be the second chapter to my book called Your Simple Path,

Which is completely free here on Insight Timer.

The audio book,

18 chapters,

Just about 90 minutes or so.

And it's about pausing.

It's about taking time to reassess what truly matters to you in life and then to step in that direction,

Slowly but confidently.

This is your life.

So Your Simple Path,

If you tap in Your Simple Path,

Ian Tucker,

Here on Insight Timer,

Then there's a playlist here where it's all in one place.

Thank you so much,

Folks.

Bless you all.

Take care,

And I'll see you soon.

Bye-bye.

Reviews

A wonderful reminder to fill my life with more of what keeps me happy and energised. Thank you. 🙏

Thank you so much Ian for recording and having done this wonderful live, wish I had been there. So grateful I came across this track, struggling with overwhelm and burnout and a lot of stress and anxiety… You have such good points and you explain everything so well in a very calm and friendly way. Will definitely check out more of your lives if possible and tracks, so very helpful! Good to hear you have been able to create balance in your life, I am going to try that as well.
Sending you love and light 🤗💫💖

I needed to hear this today. Very well explained and very true. Now to practice

Loved the simplicity and reminder of spending more time above the line. I’ve done this exercise 30 plus times , it’s a great one to do weekly… and practice daily. Mahalo 🌈☀️