Three Key Mindfulness Meditation Questions

In this meditation we explore three questions to help deepen presence and live with greater freedom: 1) What am I aware of right now? 2) How am I meeting this moment? and 3) What is a wise and kind response?

Transcript

In this meditation,

We'll explore three key questions of mindfulness meditation that will help you deepen presence and live with greater freedom in your life.

These three questions are,

First,

What am I aware of right now?

Second,

How am I meeting this experience,

This moment?

And third,

What is a wise and kind response?

Begin by finding a relaxed and comfortable posture,

Whether you're sitting in a chair,

On a cushion,

On a bench,

Or lying down.

Take some moments to bring awareness to your body and invite a deeper relaxing.

You might take a few long deep breaths,

A full deep inhalation,

And a long slow out-breath.

As you breathe in,

Let the breath fill your body as though you were inflating a balloon,

And relax and let go on the out-breath.

As you breathe in,

You can invite in a quality of calm.

You could say,

Calm to yourself silently as you breathe in,

And calm as you breathe out.

Breathing in,

Calming the body.

Breathing out,

Calming the mind.

And when you're ready,

You can let your breath settle back to its natural rhythm,

In-breath,

Out-breath.

And you can bring your awareness into your body.

You can move your attention down your body,

Beginning at the head and face,

Moving down to the shoulders,

The back of the body,

The chest and the belly.

And invite any area of tightness or tension to relax and soften.

Inviting a releasing of any unconscious holding or resistance.

And if you like to,

You can invite a smile or a half smile to your face,

Activating the muscles at the corners of your eyes and the corners of your mouth.

If it's helpful,

You can bring to mind a dear friend or a loved one or a beloved pet,

Let their image come into your mind and heart,

And letting the smile relax the mind and the body.

You can let the smile be an expression of how you wish to meet whatever comes up in your experience.

You might invite a quality of openness to whatever is present right now.

This question is a very simple one,

What am I aware of right now?

Open to what's present for you now.

Notice what bodily feelings or sensations are present,

And notice how they feel.

There might be a feeling of coolness or warmth or some tightness or a feeling of space or tingling,

Pulsing,

Vibrating.

See if you can make space for whatever is present right now.

Just bring awareness to whatever feelings or emotions are present.

There might be sadness,

Annoyance,

Fear.

Just notice how this feels in your body right now.

You might feel sadness around your eyes or in the area of your heart or somewhere else.

Fear might be a tightening in the torso,

In the chest or the belly.

See if you can make space for whatever is present right now.

Bring awareness to your thoughts.

You might notice the mind's tendency to move into thinking and simply be aware of that.

You could note thinking or planning or remembering.

Just bringing awareness to the thoughts that move through the mind.

You might find it helpful to simply note tightness in the belly or a long in-breath or feeling of sadness.

Or you could note I'm aware of warmth,

Tight chest,

Tiredness.

Simply be aware of what is present,

What you're experiencing without judging or holding on or resisting.

Simply notice what am I aware of right now.

And now take a few minutes simply to notice what's present.

What am I aware of right now?

And if you notice that your mind has moved into thought,

Just gently come back,

Come back to this awareness of what's here right now.

If it's helpful,

You can name thinking or planning or daydreaming,

Just naming the kind of thinking and coming back.

And you can come back to this question,

What am I aware of at any time in meditation and in daily life?

Just checking back,

What am I aware of?

What am I noticing right now?

And now the second question is how am I meeting this experience,

This moment?

This question invites us to bring awareness to our attitude to what we're experiencing.

With this question,

We're noticing if we're meeting this moment with resistance or with judgment or with clinging or holding on,

Or if we're meeting what's present with kindness,

With acceptance,

With interest or curiosity.

And we're consciously cultivating acceptance,

Kindness and curiosity towards our experience.

When we bring an attitude of open-hearted acceptance to whatever we're experiencing,

We strengthen our capacity to open to difficult,

Painful and challenging experiences,

As well as those that are more pleasant and easy to be with.

The first quality or attitude that we cultivate is acceptance.

Can you fully accept what you're feeling right now?

You don't have to like it,

But to acknowledge and accept what is here right now.

The invitation is to meet our experience with a welcoming attitude.

The Sufi poet Rumi speaks of welcoming the guests.

He says,

Even if there are a crowd of sorrows who sweep your house empty of its furniture,

Still treat each guest honorably,

He may be clearing you out for some new delight.

So this attitude of welcoming,

Welcoming our experience.

And Robert Bly said,

Whatever parts of you that you don't learn to love and accept will become hostile to you.

Notice when your mind may reject or dislike what's present and then invite a quality of acceptance.

Can I meet this moment,

This experience with acceptance?

Can you meet this experience,

This moment with kindness?

It may be wishing yourself well,

Making space for what's here,

Or being kind to yourself as you would to a dear friend who's experiencing difficulty.

If judgment or resistance comes up,

Can you meet this with kindness,

With friendliness?

You could send yourself a wish,

May I be happy,

May I be peaceful.

You could put your hand on your heart and express a wish for your own well-being.

And see if you can be interested,

Curious about what you're experiencing.

When we bring curiosity to our experience,

Something important can shift.

Think of the way when we're angry,

We're caught up in a mental story or narrative about what this person said or did,

Or what you want to say or do to them,

And all the bodily tension that may be present.

When we're caught up in a strong emotion,

The emotion and the accompanying thoughts are what are in charge in a way,

They're leading the way.

When we bring awareness to our anger,

When we become curious about it,

We can then notice,

Oh,

There's tightness in the chest,

My face is hot,

I'm short of breath,

I'm having lots of angry thoughts,

And we can let go of the story and come back to the direct experience.

So this quality of curiosity helps us to step out of identification with what we're caught up in and just come into awareness.

What am I aware of?

What am I noticing?

So sit for a few minutes and notice your attitude to your experience.

How am I meeting this moment?

How am I relating to this experience?

Whatever you're experiencing right now,

Can you accept this moment just as it is,

This experience just as it is?

Can you meet it with an attitude of kindness,

Making space for it?

Can you bring a quality of interest,

Of curiosity to your experience?

So the first question is,

What am I aware of right now?

The second question is,

How am I meeting this moment,

This experience?

And the third question is,

What is a wise and kind response to this experience?

Often bringing an attitude of kindness,

Acceptance and curiosity to our experience will be enough for a wise and kind response.

Nothing more may be needed,

Just simply to meet your experience with open-hearted acceptance.

But at times an additional step or steps may be called for.

Let's say you're experiencing bodily pain or discomfort and you've been practicing simply being aware of what you're feeling and meeting it with compassion and acceptance.

But you might still find yourself experiencing resistance or frustration or judgment.

You might be wanting to be present,

But your wanting to be present might make you feel more and more tight.

You might kind of feel you're at war with yourself.

Then you might ask,

What is a wise and kind response to this experience,

To this moment?

And it might be to consciously shift your posture and to open to your experience in a new,

More relaxed posture.

Say moving from a cushion to a chair,

For example.

Or stopping meditating if you're really tired,

Taking a short nap with the intention of coming back to the meditation when you feel more rested and fresh.

Or if you're dealing with a painful emotion and it's very intense,

It might be wise to shift your attention to something more calm and peaceful.

Not as a way of avoiding the difficulty,

But to help you come back into balance and build resilience so that then you can come back to the difficult feeling when you feel ready.

Or a wise and kind response might be to send yourself a wish of loving kindness or compassion.

May I be happy.

May I live with ease.

May I accept myself as I am.

So you can sit for a while with this question.

What is a wise and kind response to this moment,

To this experience?

And it may be simply to be aware of your experience and meet it with kindness and acceptance and interest.

Or there may be a need or a may be helpful to take a more active response.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What am I aware of right now?

How am I meeting this moment?

What,

If any,

Is a wise and kind response to this experience,

To this moment?

This third question will often be particularly important in daily life,

Where we typically can't simply be aware of our experience and meet it with kindness.

If,

For example,

We're in the middle of a difficult conversation or in a meeting.

In this situation,

It will be important to be aware of what's present,

Tightness in the body,

Anger,

Whatever,

And to meet our response with kindness.

But we may also need to respond to someone or to a situation.

The question then is,

What's a wise and kind response right now?

What response will be supportive of freedom and well-being?

In the middle of a difficult conversation where we see ourselves being pulled into an angry reaction,

A wise and kind response might be to ask the other person if you can come back and talk about it later.

Talk about the issue that you're having some difficulty around.

Or if you've just received an email that comes across as judgmental or overly critical,

You might choose to put it aside and deal with it later.

So bringing these three questions to your experience.

At any time in meditation and in daily life,

What am I aware of right now?

How am I meeting this experience?

And what is a wise and kind response?

You might sit for a few minutes with these questions as you open to your experience.

Okay.

We'll finish with Martha Possilthwaite's poem,

Clearing.

Do not try to save the whole world or do anything grandiose.

Instead,

Create a clearing in the dense forest of your life and wait there patiently until the song that is yours alone to sing falls into your open cupped hands and you recognize and greet it.

Only then will you know how to give yourself to this world so worthy of rescue.

Reviews

Clear and helpful teaching with well-paced silences for reflection. Thank you.

Very good lessons and questions to ask ourselves. Many thanks.

Wonderful, practical, and down to earth. An excellent meditation for when you are dealing with very difficult emotions or self judgment, or working on expanding that space between stimulus and response.

This lesson speaks to the heart of mindfulness practicing with simplicity. I am grateful 🙏.

Thank you for this meditation which is beautiful, calming, and asks us to come to the world with greater presence and wonder.

This is an excellent practice. Useful in meditation. Equally useful in daily life. Thank you, Hugh. I appreciate your creativity in finding new ways to explore the same territory. 🌸

A wonderful experience, bringing calm, clarity and understanding. Thank you!

Excellent afternoon meditation, thank you for sharing all your wisdom with me.
Blessings with love

I loved the 3 questions. This meditation was wonderful. Namaste

Beautiful meditation with some clear messages to hopefully put into practice, thank you.

Thank you for your wonderful thoughts how to look at emotions
It is very helpful thank you 😊

This is a kind and helpful meditation. Hugh brings an element of calmness through his voice and cadence that helps me feel grounded. Thank you, Hugh. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

This is a very helpful practice to surrender with acceptable in the thick of difficult thoughts and difficult and explore with curiosity the possible responses. Many thanks ! 🧡

So clear, to the heart, a beautiful guide for living. Thank you

Always a joy to meditate with Hugh. The merry go roundabout of life and the things we learn. The luxury of boredom that people do not fully appreciate. I am feeling grateful today for finishing my tax returns two days ago, and having a cleaning binge to celebrate so this morning I wake to a slightly tidier home and no pressure. An ordinary day is a blessing. That is what I have learned. Have a peaceful day too thank you 🙏🏼

So helpful. Thank you very much for your kindness and wisdom 🙏

Thank you, Hugh! This was immensely helpful, as I find myself at the precipice of a difficult decision, experiencing a variety of “unpleasant” feelings that I noticed myself inclined to resist. Oddly enough... accepting them brought about far more peace of mind ;) I have been writing down helpful thoughts (quotes, reminders, and so on) lately to help myself (alleviate the suffering of/progress beyond unskillful thought loops) on challenging days. “How can I respond to this moment with wisdom and acceptance? Can I respond in a way that supports my freedom and well-being?” will be added to the list 😌

Thank you so much for this. I have been listening to the meditation for few days now and the questions have been perfect and helpful for focussing on what's going on within my body which I had been struggling with for a long time. It has also been easier for me to approach the awareness with acceptance and compassion. I have bookmarked it to be visited often. Thank you again and Namaste.

Thank you for your wisdom. I will save this meditation in my “emergency” playlist.

Very useful and helpful, thank you!